Bob 的作文帖

primboUID: 3479283

lz 我这边用的是mac book，可以发一份word版本的么，wps的我打不开。谢谢 。等2月16日综合

bobzhang1991UID: 3467362

primbo 发表于 2014-2-17 13:38
lz 我这边用的是mac book，可以发一份word版本的么，wps的我打不开。谢谢 。等2月16日综合

我直接上传到网上吧
2.16
tpo 21 综合写作
The reading article claims that planting genetically modified trees on a large scale is beneficial. However, the professor talks about the same topic but  states the opposite opinion.

First and foremost, while  the reading material states that genetically modified trees are more likely too survive than unmodified ones, the professor argues that this is not true. The reason is that genetically modified trees are designed to withstand uniform condition but there are many factors influence the existence of trees. For example, if the climate change, all trees may die. In contrast, unmodified trees have diversified genes so that part of them will survive in different situations.

Second, the reading material claims that genetically modified trees will bring profit to those who grow them. Nevertheless, the professor argues that the cost of planting these trees are higher as the seeds of these trees tend to be higher, and every time farmers plant the trees they need to pay to companies. As to unmodified trees, farmers can use their seeds for free.

Last but not least, the author of the article says that  the use of genetically modified trees can stop overexploitation of wild trees, but the professor argues that planting these trees will damage wild trees for two reasons. The first reason is that farmer always plant more genetically trees. In addition, genetically modified trees are planted among wild trees in most cases and they compete with wild trees in terms of sunlight, water, nutritions, etc.

primboUID: 3479283

bobzhang1991 发表于 2014-2-17 15:39
我直接上传到网上吧
2.16
tpo 21 综合写作

The reading article claims that planting genetically modified trees on a large scale is beneficial. However, the professor talks about the same topic but  states the opposite opinion.

First and foremost, while  the reading material states that genetically modified trees are more likely too survive than unmodified ones, the professor argues that this is not true. The reason is that genetically modified trees are designed to withstand uniform condition (这部分应该是 genetically uniform, not uniform condition)but there are many factors influence the existence of trees. For example, if the climate change, all trees may die. In contrast, unmodified trees have diversified genes so that part of them will survive in different situations.

Second, the reading material claims that genetically modified trees will bring profit to those who grow them. Nevertheless, the professor argues that the cost of planting these trees are higher as the seeds of these trees tend to be higher, and every time farmers plant the trees they need to pay to companies. As to unmodified trees, farmers can use their seeds for free.

Last but not least, the author of the article says that  the use of genetically modified trees can stop overexploitation of wild trees, but the professor argues that planting these trees will damage wild trees for two reasons. The first reason is that farmer always plant more genetically trees.(这个论点是无中生有) In addition, genetically modified trees are planted among wild trees in most cases and they compete with wild trees in terms of sunlight, water, nutritions, etc.(看了下听力原文，应该是nutrient) 没有结论：eventually, crowd out of the natural trees.
最后，
1.        建议首先谈听力，其次阅读材料。
2.        论述的点都找到了，但是内部小细节有的描述不够准确。需要继续加强听力。
3.        行文逻辑不够顺畅，最好还是按照 主题句＋support sentence +总结的格式来描述。这样结构就会很清楚

Isabella213UID: 3500107

改的很晚，文章思路上的建议！