[优秀习作] Issue118 新鲜出炉，大家拍一下！！ [复制链接]

juliozhao
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发表于 2004-3-9 00:28:16 |显示全部楼层

118. "In any field of endeavor－the sciences, the humanities, the social sciences, industry, etc.－it is not the attainment of a goal that matters, but rather the ideas and discoveries that are encountered on the way to the goal."
在任何领域－科学、人文科学、社会科学、工业等－重要的不是达成目标，而是在通往目标的路上所获得的想法和发现

The author suggests that in any field of endeavor, the process is more important than the goal. In my opinion, I partially agree with author’s viewpoint, and I suggest that the process and the goal are interweavement and supplement each other.

The aim is the lamp for the struggler, which makes us understand the precise direction. The aims to different people have different meanings. The scientists want to discovery some new breakthrough in their major realm, and the businessmen want to earn more money, and the students want to get a high mark and the forth. No matter what the aims are, the aims embody the value of every person’s life. And then we should conceive a blueprint before we begin to work. If we refuse to accept that there should be an aim before the endeavor, we would fail to control the development of process and finally lose ourselves in the puzzlement. For instance, my major is biology that is the science of analyzing the data through the result of experiments to attain a theory. But some of my classmates do not pay attention to the aim of experiments and just follow the textbook’s requirement to complete experiments. Sometimes at the end of experiment, they have not any impression of what their endeavors are for. And how can we set an aim? Someone may say that they have a dream to be awarded the Noble Prize some day. As we know, not anyone is fit for joining in the science study. We should set a practical and significative aim that is not beyond our abilities. Owning one of those aims, we can see that there is a light before us when we are trapped in the mash of the thought, and the light would inspire with us on the road.

Moreover, we should put the resplendent aim into practical process. The person who talks about the success and ideal everyday without practical activities is never up to the aim. There is a motto saying, “A thousand mile is comprised of one step, and rivers or oceans are comprised of one drop”. And through the process we can accumulate some experience and idea that are good for the further development. The society is ever developing and changing. While the aims have been reached they become a part of history. What matters important is that the aim should not be idolized and come to a stop. Every small-achieved aim is the stepping-stone to the final aim.

In conclusion, we need handle properly to realize the compatibility of the aim and process. The aim need the process to achieve and the process need the aim to guide the direction. If we treat the two with moderation methods, we would get what we want efficiently.

4月5日

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322612
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发表于 2004-3-9 01:15:25 |显示全部楼层

The author suggests that in any field of endeavor, the process is more important than the goal. In my opinion, I partially agree with author’s viewpoint, and I suggest that the process and the goal are interweavement and supplement （名词后面能直接加宾语吗？应该补上to ）each other.

The aim is the lamp for the struggler, which makes us understand the precise direction. The aims to different people have different meanings. The scientists want to discovery some new breakthrough in their major realm, and the businessmen want to earn more money, and the students want to get a high mark and the forth. No matter what the aims are, the aims embody the value of every person’s life. And then we should conceive a blueprint before we begin to work. If we refuse to accept that there should be an aim before the endeavor, we would fail to control the development of process and finally lose ourselves in the puzzlement. For instance, my major is biology that is the science of analyzing the data through the result of experiments to attain a theory. But some of my classmates do not pay attention to the aim of experiments and just follow the textbook’s requirement to complete experiments. Sometimes at the end of experiment, they have not any impression of what their endeavors are for. And how can we set an aim? Someone may say that they have a dream to be awarded the Noble Prize some day. As we know, not anyone is fit for joining in the science study. We should set a practical and significative aim that is not beyond our abilities. Owning one of those aims, we can see that there is a light before us when we are trapped in the mash of the thought, and the light would inspire with us on the road.（题目中说的是attainment of goal,所以我觉得应该谈达到目标的重要性。而你的这一段里面讲的都是goal的重要性）

Moreover, we should put the resplendent aim into practical process. The person who talks about the success and ideal everyday without practical activities is never up to the aim. There is a motto saying, “A thousand mile is comprised of one step, and rivers or oceans are comprised of one drop”. （引用，不错哟，我就不怎么会这样论证。如果加上是谁说的就更好了啊。）And through the process we can accumulate some experience and idea that are good for the further development. The society is ever developing and changing. While the aims have been reached they become a part of history. What matters important is that the aim should not be idolized and come to a stop. Every small-achieved aim is the stepping-stone to the final aim.

In conclusion, we need handle properly to realize the compatibility of the aim and process. The aim need the process to achieve and the process need the aim to guide the direction. If we treat the two with moderation methods, we would get what we want efficiently.

没有很多的语法错误和拼写错误，有些地方论述的方法用得比较好。很强啊
不过我个人认为第2段有些离题了。
个人意见，如有不妥还望海涵啊

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