issue195 写带修改又是两个小时……请大家指教～

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

又改了一次，主要是把论述的第一段改了，还有第二段的例子换了。我感觉语言上还是没有什么变化……:(

Issue 195: The goal of politics should not be the pursuit of an ideal, but rather the search for common ground and reasonable consensus.

It is controversial whether the goal of politics should be the pursuit of an ideal or the search for common ground and reasonable consensus. Pragmatic people assert that common ground and reasonable consensus is more vital and the search for them is the goal of politics. However, the goal of politics includes both the pursuit of ideal and the search for common ground and reasonable consensus.

To begin with, the search for common ground and reasonable consensus is a short-term goal. Some unanimous points of view among people are the precondition of a country’s stability. If there is no common ground nor reasonable consensus in a country, people may persist their own ideas and defuse accepting other’s suggestions. There is no identical standard to guide people’s behavior. Consequently, such country will be full of chaos and hardly get any progress, even step backward. What’s more serious, it may lead to the overturn of regime as the disintegration of Soviet Union. Furthermore, the agreements of critical problems among countries are the basic of tranquility of the world. The disagreements may cause wars among countries that bring about disorder, starvation and death meaning calamity to people and countries. Countries should try to reach agreement to avoid the happening of tragedy. In a word, common ground and reasonable consensus are necessities for a healthy world.        

However, when we pay attention to common ground and reasonable consensus, we cannot neglect the importance of the pursuit of an ideal. An ideal is a long-term goal of politics which need a long time and great effort to realize. Though ideal cannot come to be true in short time, it is very significant for country. First, as Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said “ideal is the beacon. Without ideal, there is no secure direction”, ideal gives government and people the “secure direction”. Ideal guides a country during every stage of its history. Second, besides the direction, ideal also takes impetus to government and its people to improve their country. For example, when Emancipation Proclamation was announced, an ideal that build a independent, equal, free and prosperous country was rooted in American people’s hearts. They believe that their country will become a wonderful land when the ideal finally comes to be true. So they make great effort to develop their country. And all the policies are enacted for the ideal. Ideal is the final goal and is indispensable for a country's long-term developing.

There is close relation between the ideal and common ground, reasonable consensus. On one hand, same views are the prerequisite of ideal. No agreement means no stability even no development. It is impossible to realize the ideal without stability and development. On the other hand, the ideal is not only the guide of the search for agreements but also the impetus of it. The ideal and common ground, reasonable consensus are essential to each other.

In summary, an ideal and common ground and reasonable consensus both play important roles in development of country. Government should not neglect either of them for they are the goals of politics in different phases of a country.

517 words

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

谢谢九月爱上乒乓球～
一下就正中要害了。语言是我的致命伤。背一些文章对语言的提高是不是会比较有效？
这篇issue我写的时候就觉得很糟糕。这也是我的一个通病，观点还算清晰，但是具体论证起来就开始乱了。

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

稍微修改了一下，再发上来大家批

Issue 195: The goal of politics should not be the pursuit of an ideal, but rather the search for common ground and reasonable consensus.

It is controversial whether the goal of politics should be the pursuit of an ideal or the search for common ground and reasonable consensus. Some people that are   pragmatic assert that common ground and reasonable consensus is more vital and   the search for them is the goal of politics. However, in my opinion, the goal of politics includes both the pursuit of ideal and the search for common ground and reasonable consensus.

To begin with, the search for common ground and reasonable consensus is the short-term goal. As we known, common ground and reasonable consensus are the precondition of a country’s stability. If there is no common ground nor reasonable consensus in a country, people may think only their own thoughts are correct and defuse accepting other’s suggestions. People’s behavior has no unanimous standard. In such country, it is impossible to even talk about advance. Country can develop stably only when the members of the country have reach agreement on critical problems. They would be glad to conform to the policy basis on the same views they share. Common ground and reasonable consensus are not only conducive to the development of society but also the necessities for a healthy society.

However, when we pay attention to common ground and reasonable consensus, we cannot neglect the importance of the pursuit of an ideal. An ideal is the long-term goal of politics which need a long time and great effort to realize. Though ideal cannot come to be true in short time, it is very significant for country. First, as Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said “ideal is the beacon. Without ideal, there is no secure direction”, ideal gives government and people the “secure direction”. Ideal guides a country during every stage of its history. Second, besides the direction, ideal also takes impetus to government and its people to improve their country. For example, Chinese consider Communism as their ideal. Chinese people believe that their country will become a wonderful land when the ideal finally comes to be true. So they make great effort to develop their country. And all the policies are enacted for the ideal. Ideal is the final goal and is indispensable for a country's long-term developing.

There is close relation between the ideal and common ground, reasonable consensus. On one hand, common ground and reasonable consensus are the prerequisite of ideal. No common ground or reasonable consensus means no stability and no development. It is impossible to realize the ideal without stability and development. On the other hand, the ideal is the guide of the search for common ground and reasonable consensus. The ideal leads the search for common ground and reasonable consensus to run in the right way. The ideal and common ground, reasonable consensus are essential to each other.

In summary, an ideal and common ground and reasonable consensus both play important roles in developing country. So governments cannot neglect either of them. The pursuit of both of them is the real goal of politics.

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

还有就是，body第二段的举例, 作为一个中国人我及其理解你的意思,但是我不知道放在issue文章里是否合适,特别是这种比较敏感的话题~~
大家认为呢??

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

这样说来还是尽量用一些其他的例子比较好～

jermyUID: 155463

Issue 195: The goal of politics should not be the pursuit of an ideal(理想), but rather the search for common ground and

reasonable consensus.

It is controversial whether the goal of politics should be the pursuit of an ideal or the search for common ground and

reasonable consensus. Some people that are pragmatic assert that common ground and reasonable consensus is more vital and the

search for them is the goal of politics（是否把反面意见也列出来会更好一点）. However, in my opinion（你不用说，别人也知道是你

的观点，这样的词不要用：一方面缺乏自信，一方面体现谦虚，What you chould do is to convince your opinion.）, the goal of

politics includes both the pursuit of ideal and the search for common ground and reasonable consensus.

To begin with, the search for common ground and reasonable consensus is the（"a" is a better choice） short-term goal. As we

known, common ground and reasonable consensus are the precondition of a country’s stability. If there is no common ground

nor reasonable consensus in a country, people may think only their own thoughts are correct and defuse accepting other’s

suggestions. People’s behavior has no unanimous standard. In such country, it is impossible to even talk about advance.

Country can develop stably only when the members of the country have reach agreement on critical problems. They would be glad

to conform to the policy basis on the same views they share. Common ground and reasonable consensus are not only conducive to

the development of society but also the necessities for a healthy society.

However, when we pay attention to common ground and reasonable consensus, we cannot neglect the importance of the pursuit of

an ideal. An ideal is the long-term goal of politics which need a long time and great effort to realize. Though ideal cannot

come to be true in short time, it is very significant for country. First, as Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said “ideal is the

beacon. Without ideal, there is no secure direction”, ideal gives government and people the “secure direction”. Ideal

guides a country during every stage of its history. Second, besides the direction, ideal also takes impetus to government and

its people to improve their country. For example, Chinese consider Communism as their ideal. Chinese people believe that

their country will become a wonderful land when the ideal finally comes to be true. So they make great effort to develop

their country. And all the policies are enacted for the ideal. Ideal is the final goal and is indispensable for a country's

long-term developing. (我不止这个例子在资本主义国家合适不合适)

There is close relation between the ideal and common ground, reasonable consensus. On one hand, common ground and reasonable

consensus are the prerequisite of ideal. No common ground or reasonable consensus means no stability and （加个程度连词 even,

or 因果thus,则逻辑性会更强一点） no development. It  is impossible to realize the ideal without stability and development. On

the other hand, the ideal is the guide of the search for common ground and reasonable consensus. The ideal leads the search

for common ground and reasonable consensus to run in the right way. The ideal and common ground, reasonable consensus are

essential to each other.

In summary, an ideal and common ground and reasonable consensus both play important roles in developing country(in development of country). So governments cannot(should not , could not)
neglect either of them. (Or "A conscientious government will not/ There is no excuse for politics to negelect that ")
The pursuit of both of them is (should be) the real goal of politics.

total 509 words which is enough,
"common ground and reasonable"在文中出现了11次,"ideal"24次，,占总文的1/9,然人感觉语言匮乏,最好换一种说法,或有使用代词
结构很清晰
语言"闪光"不够
结尾总结不够
请问您什么时候考?
个人意见,如有不妥请多多包涵

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

It is controversial whether the goal of politics should be the pursuit of an ideal or the search for common ground and reasonable consensus. Some people that are pragmatic (pragmatic people) assert that common ground and reasonable consensus is more vital and the search for them is the goal of politics. However, in my opinion, the goal of politics includes both the pursuit of ideal and the search for common ground and reasonable consensus.

To begin with, the search for common ground and reasonable consensus is the short-term goal. As we known, common ground and reasonable consensus are the precondition of a country’s stability. If there is no common ground nor reasonable consensus in a country, people may [U]think only their own thoughts are correct [/U]  (persist their own ideas) and defuse accepting other’s suggestions. [U]People’s behavior has no unanimous standard[/U] .(There is no unanimous standard to guide people’s behavior.) In such country, it is impossible to even talk about advance. Country can develop stably only when the members of the country have reach(ed) agreement on critical problems. They (People) would be glad to conform to the policy base on the same views they share. Common ground and reasonable consensus are not only conductive to the development of society but also the necessities for a healthy society.
第一段还是说得不清楚,下面是我的想法,不一定是最好,仅供参考.
寻求共同点和合理的一致是一个短期的目的.
1没有共同点和一致国家会走向混乱,退步,甚至是主权的颠覆.(苏联解体)
2 同样, 国与国之间如果在一些问题上达成一致会导致世界局势的不稳定.(世界大战)


However, when we pay attention to common ground and reasonable consensus, we cannot neglect the importance of the pursuit of an ideal. An ideal is the long-term goal of politics which need a long time and great effort to realize. Though ideal cannot come to be true in short time, it is very significant for country.(:) First, as Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said “ideal is the beacon. Without ideal, there is no secure direction”, ideal gives government and people the “secure direction”. Ideal guides a country during every stage of its history. Second, besides the direction, ideal also takes impetus to government and its people to improve their country. For example, Chinese consider Communism as their ideal. Chinese people believe that their country will become a wonderful land when the ideal finally comes to be true. So they make great effort to develop their country. And all the policies are enacted for the ideal. Ideal is the final goal and is indispensable for a country's long-term developing.
第二段讲的清楚多了,语言和例子再斟酌.

There is close relation between the ideal and common ground, reasonable consensus. On one hand, common ground and reasonable consensus are the prerequisite of ideal. No common ground or reasonable consensus means no stability and no development. It is impossible to realize the ideal without stability and development. On the other hand, the ideal is the guide of the search for common ground and reasonable consensus. The ideal leads the search for common ground and reasonable consensus to run in the right way. The ideal and common ground, reasonable consensus are essential to each other.
语言不够精练 很多话还是可以并在一起讲.
In summary, an ideal and common ground and reasonable consensus both play important roles in developing country. [U]So governments cannot neglect either of them. The pursuit of both of them is the real goal of politics.[/U] (The government should not neglect either of them for they are the goals of politics in different phases of a country.)[/SIZE]

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

谢谢～你说的很对，我最大的问题就是语言问题。不仅仅是词汇匮乏，还有句式之类的都非常的单调。
我是四月十四日考。你觉得来得及吗？

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

回复了之后，才发现九月爱上乒乓球又帮我改了一次。谢谢～
我晚上有课，等下课回来之后会再改一改的。
真的是很谢谢～

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

构思挺好的,我一开始就没有想到这样写.
不过你的语言的确需要提高 文章中人称代词使用要慎重 有的话明明一个句子能表达清楚非要拆成两个短句 and the like:)
结尾总结性不够,可能还是没话说了,是吧. 这一点我深有体会 呵呵

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

呵呵～被发现了～我很多时候就是没话说啊～
我打算背一点文章，看看会不会对语言上有帮助。

imongUID: 140258

一个tip
每天无论如何都读一些原文的东西
对提高行文的感觉有帮助
我原来用过的方法

不用背
每天读一读就行
每天都换新的
碰到漂亮表达，自然心里痒痒，不自觉就记下了。

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

我正在背新概念四和阅读孙远的工具箱(实在来不及背了) 还有看一本什么考研英语阅读精选(呵呵,无意中发现其中好多和issue有关的文章) 现在信息特别混乱 下午写了一篇argument 居然只有330多个字而issue一写就是600多还总是超时 很郁闷~~~

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

谢谢imong和九月爱上乒乓球（PS：这个名字好特别啊……）～
昨天回来太晚了，只好早上起来改了。我直接编辑在第一楼里了。
语言还是要加油啊～
九月爱上乒乓球什么时候考啊？

蓝迦绫UID: 144968

稍微顶一下，希望有人看到～谢谢～