不知各位大神能否帮忙检查一个自己写的English paper paragraph

liusijiaUID: 2614694

用来作为Research Proposal的，但是总感觉写的有点别扭，主题是Restorative Justice，英语超级牛人可否帮忙修改下语序、衔接和语感问题，尽量local点，小的在此跪谢啦~~~


Although restorative justice is still a new trend and division in criminology and legal globalization,the essence of restorative justice has been long prevalent in the field of Chinese civil and administrative disputes.The mediation(“调解”),which constitutes one element of ADR,has only slight difference from reconciliation(“和解”).In Chinese,mediation means “mutual agreeable solution” (“一致协商”)Wha-eras reconciliation shares the most important thought as harmony(” 和谐”).Actually thousand years of Immersion of Confucius ideology cultivate Chinese to pursue harmonious and peaceful dispute solutions in civil proceedings.Some components of this thought have also been applied to criminal legislation since 1979 first-enacted Criminal Procedure Law(1979,CPL,China),which indicates a successful expansion of reconciliation in public prosecution.
   Currently,criminal reconciliation has risen to the national level of basic department law and formally became part of clear legislation as “Special Procedure” in Criminal Procedure Law(2012,CPL,China).
  Collectively,”Chinese-charactered” restorative justice is ,in part,product of the reaction against ”the traditional Penalty Retribution Theory ” and absolutely a new try of combination of transplanting western legal thought and inheriting Chinese moral qualities.

crazyrobinUID: 2368627

第一句话太长了建议分号写两句

RJ is whatever; it has been, however, prevalent (另外这里用long prevalent不合适吧） 可以用long standing tradition之类的。
下一句的 has only slight difference 可以把only去掉，没什么作用。

下一句的Whereas可以换成分号， ; reconciliation, on the other hand, means blah blah blah. 还有share the thought of xxx总觉得怪怪的。 share the core of xxx是不是好得多？

下一句的actually在这里做什么用？没看懂。你想表达的意思应该是As a matter of fact

还有harmony真的是一种thought吗？这个词不到位吧，至少是ideology or core value吧

后面大概还可以吧。没仔细看

my two cent.

paradisehanUID: 2695790

crazyrobin 发表于 2014-5-12 19:05
第一句话太长了建议分号写两句

RJ is whatever; it has been, however, prevalent (另外这里用long prev ...

我回北京了 来面圣

crazyrobinUID: 2368627

paradisehan 发表于 2014-5-12 19:10
我回北京了 来面圣

可以等7月一起呀

codystephenUID: 3083427

paradisehan 发表于 2014-5-12 19:10
我回北京了 来面圣

帅哥你是圣 BBKK是娘娘 what's up with you two?

liusijiaUID: 2614694

crazyrobin 发表于 2014-5-12 19:05
第一句话太长了建议分号写两句

RJ is whatever; it has been, however, prevalent (另外这里用long prev ...

果然大牛，我就是觉得actually用的语感不对，“As a matter of fact”戳中要害，小的跪舔！！
harmony一时还未想好替换词~~~不过和谐社会也算是中国的价值观吧~~~

阿泰UID: 209473

paradisehan 发表于 2014-5-12 19:10
我回北京了 来面圣

不准私下勾搭！！

阿泰UID: 209473

楼主你读读the most-cited articles in law reviews 里面的大神写文章哪个用 actually。。。