issue224

utarUID: 83869

224. “Censorship is rarely, if ever, justified.”

Outline:


TS：在这个with too much information的era，censorship在大部分情况下还是起了积极作用的，尽管有些时候它被某一部分人利用保护其利益。
1、 确实（It is generally admitted that...），censorship限制了我们获取某些信息的权利，一些人可以利用它来隐瞒，政府控制舆论和民众思想，例子：SARS。
2、 但是censorship在更多时候起到了积极的作用（outweigh the disadvantages），首先，它可以为人们滤掉很多无用甚至有害的信息。sexual, violent, discrimination 等等。对孩子。
3、 另外，它可以保护本国的文化不会因为受外来文化侵蚀而导致完全消失。 比如强制电视台在某些时间播出文化类节目，向本国和外国传送本国文化信息。
4、 Censorship还可以起到保护人们隐私的作用。每个人都有自己的隐私权，一些没经过许可的个人隐私可以得到法律的保护。偷拍，肖像权。
5、 如果没有censorship，information system会变得混乱不堪。一方面，媒体media会abuse their authority，没有约束的话，电视台，报社什么的都会为它们的利益而不择手段；另一方面，会导致垃圾信息的横飞。
6、 总结。Censhorship 总的来说利大于弊，我们应该懂得如何去用它properly。


In this information era, with too much information, useful and useless, in our society all around us, it is rather difficult for us citizens, without censorship, to distinguish beneficial info from huge amounts of news, reports, images, broadcasting, advertisements and videos provided by all kinds of medias. In this respect, censorship acts a positive role under most circumstance, though it is used to protect certain people’s profits sometimes.

It is generally admitted that censorship can be used to disguise some facts certain people, usually government officials or group leaders, don’t want populace to know. With censorship as an effective weapon, these people can limit common people’s ways of obtaining certain information which is detrimental in their thoughts. Further more, governments can strongly control public consensus and the thoughts of populace. Through newspapers, radios, televisions and Internet, they can spread what they need the populace to receive as truths instead of the real truths legitimately under the pretext of censorship. We can take the wide spread of SARS in China as an example. In this matter, some government officials disguised the fact that SARS is extremely dangerous to human for some reasons, and it leads to a negative effect to China’s economy and the people living in China. In this condition, censorship plays a harmful role.

However, censorship plays a positive role in much more conditions. On the first place, censorship can keep populace away from some real detrimental information. We have to admit that censorship do have its important role in controlling information, though the effect of this kind of control may be positive or negative. With this strong control, censorship can be used as a positive information filter which filters out most information containing pornography, violence, sexual and race discrimination and anything else that is unjust and harmful to society. Moreover, it is especially important to build a sound censorship system when children are concerned. Children usually have the innate incline to imitate what they see or hear or happened around them, so that if we can not filter out the information which is unjust and unhealthy for them, they may receive some wrong ideas as truth or behave harmful to others and themselves following the misleading instruction from TV or other medias. But with a well-built censorship system, we can keep our children far away from this dangerous information virus to guarantee a good mental and physical develop environment for them.

Second of all, censorship can be used as a powerful defending system for some weak cultures to defend against the intrusion of the prevalent cultures and survive. In different ages, there are different cultures in prevailing position. Correspondingly, there must be some weak cultures which are on the edge of extinction. For these cultures, censorship is a rather practical way to protect the activeness of their cultures which will not take much effort or investment. With censorship, governments can force TV stations, newspaper offices, radio stations and other medias to provide the populace a certain amount of contents introducing their cultures and properly block some intrusive information about exotic cultures as well, so that both local residents and the foreigners have more chance to see or hear about these cultures and consequentially, these cultures will not be forgotten easily.

Besides, censorship can also be used to protect individual’s privacy. Everybody has privacy and the right to keep it secret. Without the personal permission, nobody can publish or spread or use other’s privacy including the portrait, the name, and some other secrets for any reason. It is illegal to do this, especially for the mass medias. That is to say, the government controls the spread of the private information or we can say that the government censors it. In this respect, the rules of law which protect individual’s privacy are another form of censorship.

Furthermore, without censorship, the information system will be in chaos. On the one hand, without the restriction of censorship, the mass medias may abuse their authority in reporting. Even now in some countries with censorship, some newspapers and TV stations often show some unreal or adapted news or somebody’s privacy as big news just for their own profits and then many other medias may follow the news to compete with others. Then you can easily imagine what the situation will be if we have no censorship. On the other hand, without censorship as a filter, we will have our information system full of useless, misleading or harmful information. Then, our info system will break down in the end because of too many bugs in it.

With all the reasons discussed above, we can reach our conclusion that the advantages of censorship outweigh the disadvantages. Censorship can be justified as long as we know how to use it properly.

794 words
time unlimited
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treesUID: 82785

结构上还是很漂亮的。 水平有限，仅仅是建议：

In this information era, with too much information, useful and useless, in our society all around us, it is rather difficult for us citizens[??? us, citizens 或者citizens?], without censorship, to distinguish beneficial info[这个词是不是偏重口语，information好些？] from huge amounts of news, reports, images, broadcasting, advertisements and videos provided by all kinds of medias. [偶还是觉得这句太长了。老美好象不喜欢上来看个太长的观点句子，TS最好要精简，明确^-^]In this respect, censorship acts a positive role under most circumstance [ circumstances ], though it is used to protect certain people’s profits sometimes.

It is generally admitted that censorship can be used to disguise some facts certain people, usually government officials or group leaders, don’t want populace to know. With censorship as an effective weapon, these people can limit common people’s ways of obtaining certain information which is detrimental in their thoughts. Further more, governments can strongly control public consensus and the thoughts of populace. Through newspapers, radios, televisions and Internet, they can spread what they need the populace to receive as truths instead of the real truths legitimately under the pretext of censorship. We can take the wide spread of SARS in China as an example. In this matter, some government officials disguised the fact that SARS is extremely dangerous to human for some reasons, and it leads to a negative effect to China’s economy and the people living in China. In this condition, censorship plays a harmful role.
不是最主要的观点，可以适当再少写一点点：）要不判卷的看着看着就觉得好长啊，后边跳看了

However, censorship plays a positive role in much more conditions. On the first place, censorship can keep populace away from some real detrimental information. We have to admit that censorship do have its important role in controlling information, though the effect of this kind of control may be positive or negative. With this strong control, censorship can be used as a positive information filter which filters out most information containing pornography, violence, sexual and race discrimination and anything else that is unjust and harmful to society. Moreover, it is especially important to build a sound censorship system when children are concerned. Children usually have the innate incline to imitate what they see or hear or happened around them, so that if we can not filter out the information which is unjust and unhealthy for them, they may receive some wrong ideas as truth or behave harmful to others and themselves following the misleading instruction from TV or other medias. But with a well-built censorship system, we can keep our children far away from this dangerous information virus to guarantee a good mental and physical develop environment for them.

Second of all, censorship can be used as a powerful defending system for some weak cultures to defend against the intrusion of the prevalent cultures and survive. In different ages, there are different cultures in prevailing position. Correspondingly, there must be some weak cultures which are on the edge of extinction. For these cultures, censorship is a rather practical way to protect the activeness of their cultures which will not take much effort or investment. With censorship, governments can force TV stations, newspaper offices, radio stations and other medias to provide the populace a certain amount of contents introducing their cultures and properly block some intrusive information about exotic cultures as well, so that both local residents and the foreigners have more chance to see or hear about these cultures and consequentially, these cultures will not be forgotten easily.

Besides, censorship can also be used to protect individual’s privacy. Everybody has privacy and the right to keep it secret. Without the personal permission, nobody can publish or spread or use other’s privacy including the portrait, the name, and some other secrets for any reason. It is illegal to do this, especially for the mass medias. That is to say, the government controls the spread of the private information or we can say that the government censors it. In this respect, the rules of law which protect individual’s privacy are another form of censorship.

Furthermore, without censorship, the information system will be in chaos. On the one hand, without the restriction of censorship, the mass medias may abuse their authority in reporting. Even now in some countries with censorship, some newspapers and TV stations often show some unreal or adapted news or somebody’s privacy as big news just for their own profits and then many other medias may follow the news to compete with others. Then you can easily imagine what the situation will be if we have no censorship. On the other hand, without censorship as a filter, we will have our information system full of useless, misleading or harmful information. Then, our info system will break down in the end because of too many bugs in it.
上边已经提到很多危害了，这里可以选择不再举例，或者稍微带一下就可以了，比如in chaos. Such as…。起码可以精简一下。个人认为没有必要再大段的写一下危害，虽然跟上边想强调的不完全一样。


With all the reasons discussed above, we can reach our conclusion that the advantages of censorship outweigh the disadvantages. Censorship can be justified as long as we know how to use it properly.

utarUID: 83869

谢谢了！我也争取多改几篇吧，作为回报。

xiaoyaogogoUID: 134172

思路挺清晰的，观点明确
好听的就不多说拉

In this information era, with too much information, useful and useless, in our society all around us, it is rather difficult for us citizens, without censorship, to distinguish beneficial info from huge amounts of news, reports, images, broadcasting, advertisements and videos provided by all kinds of medias.

（我也觉得这句话不够concise and to the point, 有点刻意追求句子结构的复杂）

It is generally admitted that censorship can be used to disguise some facts certain people, usually government officials or group leaders, don’t want populace to know.

这句话读起来有点绕，主谓和标点好象有点问题。是不是可以改成：It is generally admitted that censorship can be uesd to disguise   certain facts from people espeically when government officials or group leaders do not want populace to know the truth sometimes.

（SORRY，叫我开会去，先说到这里。总之刚才迅速读了一遍，感觉语言表达上再改进些就更完美了）

ayriUID: 158345

结构很清楚，语言很好，论证的很不错
但是开头建议写出论点。
而且你的论点和论据的衔接不是很好，我觉得
可以把论点改的严密一点