issue63 (5天,限时,定义文化, 请多多批评！有点怀疑自己...)

forwwwUID: 154260

63"To truly understand your own culture—no matter how you define it—requires personal knowledge of at least one other culture, one that is distinctly different from your own."



There is a saying, "That who cannot have a full view of a mountain is because they are in the mountain". It is also true for culture--we who are inherently edified by a certain culture cannot truly understand our culture. This limitation has something to do with the term—ethnocentrism. Only through a distinctly different culture, can we better understand our own culture via comparison and contrast.  

First, sociologists tell us that most of the people have a sense of ethnocentrism. Ethnocentrism blocks people to accept the drawbacks in their own culture. Just like a chauvinist, who overly and blindly be loyal to his/her country and ignore the defects of it, people who are ethnocentric are adherent their own culture. People who have a sense of ethnocentrism are less willing to know about other cultures because they think their own culture is superior to all of others. One telling example involves the term “moderation” derived from Confucius. Confucius has a great impact on most eastern countries. Many people in these countries are faithful to the principle “Moderation in all things” which many western people insist that many achievements require intense focus and endurance. The diversity seems incompatible. Another example involves our experience in our daily life. We feel someone who has a different culture behaves oddly, and then we have the idea that he/she is "wrong". It is also a sign of ethnocentrism.

Having personal knowledge of at least one another culture helps people avoid the inherent ethnocentrism because people can make comparison and contrast between other cultures and their own.  Culture shock is an example in point. Those who go to overseas to contact with a very different culture cannot be accustomed to the new culture at the beginning. They become somewhat cynical since so many things in the new environment is just not on the right way. Then, after quite a long time, they get used to the new environment and even feel like it. Sometimes they often make some comments on the disadvantages of their own culture. The shift is the result of the exposure to another culture, which enables people to have a chance to experience new culture, compare it with their own, and revalue their own. Another telling example comes from businesspersons who travel all over the world to make dealing. Western people always find it difficult to understand the delicate so-called guanxi because western cultures much more advocate individual values and efforts. Nevertheless, one of the essences of eastern cultures is relativism, which makes people highly value the relationship between people and sometimes makes the deals more complicated for western businesspersons. Before the experience of having deals with people of eastern culture, those western businesspersons may not be so much aware of the individualism in their own culture.

In addition, from the opinion of culture relativism, people can find some similarities between other cultures and their own, and accordingly know more about the origin and evolution about their own culture. For example, Korea shares much commonplace in their culture with China. Many Korean sociologists come to China to find the origin of their specific rituals and customs. The cultural interaction makes both Chinese and Korean better understand their countries. In addition, the idea of culture relativism helps to maintain a harmonic atmosphere in the world since none of the culture is isolated. This can eliminate some culture clashes and the conflictions between the countries that share totally different cultures on the surface.

In sum, for better understanding own cultures, people should have knowledge of other cultures so that they can have a more objective and comprehensive view of their own culture. Moreover, through culture communications, people share different cultures can know each other better and work more smoothly in a new culture, leading to the harmony of the world.

ZZZ@MARYLANDUID: 157802

there is a "first" at the beginning of the second paragraph, where are the "second" and "third"?

ZZZ@MARYLANDUID: 157802

In my opinion, the examples appeared in your issue is not suitable.
The "another  example" appeared in the second paragraph is so simple.You had better tell a example embodies more details to balance the content of the two examples.

netbugwangUID: 157454

There is a saying, "That who cannot have a full view of a mountain is because they are in the mountain". It is also true for culture--we who are inherently edified by a certain culture cannot truly understand our culture. This limitation has something to do with the term—ethnocentrism. Only through a distinctly different culture, can we better understand our own culture via comparison and contrast.

First, sociologists tell us that most of the people have a sense of ethnocentrism. Ethnocentrism blocks people （from） (accepting) the drawbacks (of) their own culture. Just like a chauvinist, who overly and blindly be loyal to his/her country and ignore(s) the defects of it, people who are ethnocentric are adherent (of) their own culture. People who have a sense of ethnocentrism are less willing to know about other cultures because they think their own culture is superior to all of others. One telling example involves the term “moderation” derived from Confucius. Confucius has a great impact on most eastern countries. Many people in these countries are faithful to the principle “Moderation in all things” which many western people insist that many achievements require intense focus and endurance. The diversity seems incompatible. Another example involves our experience in our daily life. We feel someone who has a different culture behaves oddly, and then we have the idea that he/she is "wrong". It is also a sign of ethnocentrism.

Having personal knowledge of at least one another culture helps people avoid the inherent ethnocentrism because people can make comparison and contrast between other cultures and their own. Culture shock is an example in point. Those who go( to) overseas to contact with a very different culture cannot be accustomed to the new culture at the beginning. They become somewhat cynical since so many things in the new environment is just not on the right way. Then, after quite a long time, they get used to the new environment and even feel like it. Sometimes they often make some comments on the disadvantages of their own culture. The shift is the result of the exposure to another culture, which enables people to have a chance to experience new culture, compare it with their own, and revalue their own. Another telling example(用得太多了) comes from businesspersons who travel all over the world to make deals. Western people always find it difficult to understand the delicate so-called “guanxi” because(in) western cultures (people) advocate (much more) individual values and efforts. Nevertheless, one of the essences of eastern cultures is relativism, which makes people highly value the relationship between people and sometimes makes the deals more complicated for western businesspersons. Before the experience of having deals with people of eastern culture, those western businesspersons may not be so much aware of the individualism in their own culture.

In addition, from the opinion of culture relativism, people can find some similarities between other cultures and their own, and accordingly know more about the origin and evolution about their own culture. For example, Korea shares much commonplace in their culture with China. Many Korean sociologists come to China to find the origin of their specific rituals and customs. The cultural interaction makes both Chinese and Korean better understand their(own) countries. In addition(换一个吧), the idea of culture relativism helps to maintain a harmonic atmosphere in the world since none of the culture is isolated. This can eliminate some culture clashes and the conflictions between the countries that share totally different cultures on the surface.

In sum, for better understanding own cultures, people should have knowledge of other cultures so that they can have a more objective and comprehensive view of their own culture. Moreover, through culture communications, people share different cultures can know each other better and work more smoothly in a new culture, leading to the harmony of the world.

netbugwangUID: 157454

63"To 真实地了解您自己文化没有问题怎么您定义它要求至少一其它文化个人知识， 一分明地是与您自己不同。"有说法， "那无法有全视图山是因为他们是在山" 。 它对文化是还真实的-- 我们由有些文化固有地教化无法真实地了解我们的文化。 这个局限与期限民族优越感有关。 只通过分明地另外文化， 能我们改善了解我们自己的文化通过比较和对比。   首先， 社会学家告诉我们, 大多数人民有民族优越感感觉。 民族优越感阻拦人接受缺点在他们自己的文化。 象看不起异性者， 过度和盲目谁对他的是忠诚她的国家和忽略瑕疵它， 是种族中心主意的人们是依附的他们自己的文化。 有民族优越感感觉的人们是较不愿意知道关于其它文化因为他们认为他们自己的文化在所有是优越其他人。 一个告诉的例子介入期限"缓和" 从Confucius 被获得。 Confucius 有对多数东方国家的巨大冲击。 许多人在这些国家对原则"缓和是忠实的在许多西部人民坚持的所有事" ，许多成就要求强烈的焦点和耐力。 变化似乎不相容。 其它例子介入我们的经验在我们的日常生活中。 我们感到某人有另外文化奇怪地表现， 并且我们然后有他的想法她"错误" 。 这并且是民族优越感的标志。  有个人知识至少文化帮助人避免固有民族优越感因为人们能做比较和对比在其它文化和他们自己之间。 文化震动是一个例子在点。 那些去国外与非常另外文化接触无法习惯新文化在开始。 他们变得有些玩事不恭因为许多事在新环境里不是在正确的途中。 然后， 在相当久时光以后， 他们习惯新环境和甚而感觉象。 有时他们经常作出一些评论在他们自己的文化的缺点。 转移是暴露的结果对其它文化的， 哪些使人有机会体验新文化， 它与他们自己比较， 并且再估价他们自己。 其它告诉的例子来自旅行全世界做成交的businesspersons 。 西部人民总发现它难了解精美所谓的guanxi 因为西部文化更多提倡者各自的价值和努力。 然而， 东部文化的当中一个精华是相对性， 哪些高度使人重视关系在人之间和有时做成交更被复杂化为西部businesspersons 。 在经验的有成交与东部文化的人，之前 那些西部businesspersons 不能非常意识到个人主义在他们自己的文化。  另外， 从文化相对性观点， 人们能发现一些相似性在其它文化和他们自己之间， 并且相应地知道更多关于起源和演变关于他们自己的文化。 例如， 韩国与中国分享普遍在他们的文化。 许多韩国社会学家来到中国发现他们的具体仪式和风俗的起源。 文化互作用使中国和韩国更好了解他们的国家。 另外， 文化相对性想法帮助维护泛音大气在世界因为没有文化被隔绝。 这可能消灭一些文化碰撞和conflictions 在分享完全不同的文化在表面的国家之间。   总之， 为更好了解拥有文化， 人们应该有其它文化知识以便他们能有他们自己的文化一个更加客观和更加全面的看法。 而且， 通过文化通信， 居于不同的文化可能彼此了解更多和顺利地运作的份额

ZZZ@MARYLANDUID: 157802

我觉得你翻译的有些晦涩，有些单词的翻译偏差了原意。
还有，我想问一下，这样对作文的提高有好处么？我好像没有听过那个老师提出过这样的提纲办法。（很虚心的问，谢谢回答）

lovebrianUID: 157127

翻译什么啊？用那种弱智的软件 能翻译出什么来啊

ZZZ@MARYLANDUID: 157802

同意lovebrain!!!!!!!
如果用翻译软件翻译的话。。。。你还是做点别的有意义的事情吧。
机考不是代表电脑代替你考，哈哈哈哈哈

bennywu320UID: 157820

我还以为他带你翻译的呢？！

电脑翻译，不如自己做一下同声传译。

You should pay more attention, when the first sentence is cited from others.

Ethnocentrism is not so closed to your main topic, though it is necessary. Please try to open the door of your essay quickly. At least, give your attitude of this topic at the first sight.

"personal knowledge of at least one other culture"
So, please mention the culture researcher in your topic. And cross-culture phenomena like Hong Kong. Cross-nation company and corporation. Culture difference in ideology and value among their daily life.

It is pity to say that half of this article is useless. You need more improvement and rest.

netbugwangUID: 157454

我用的是word 2003 带的翻译。

其实翻译还是有用的， 就是可以看看你写的东西是不是真和你想的意思一致。
我给一位师兄改准备投国际会议的论文。 没改之前用机器翻译很多句子都拒翻。 改过之后全片通过， 基本意思相同，只是语序错误。
e-rater 也不过如此吗（如果有的话）

lovebrianUID: 157127

最初由 netbugwang 发布
[B]我用的是word 2003 带的翻译。

其实翻译还是有用的， 就是可以看看你写的东西是不是真和你想的意思一致。
我给一位师兄改准备投国际会议的论文。 没改之前用机器翻译很..

以下省略...... [/B]

erater如果就这水平 5块钱不用就买到了！

ZZZ@MARYLANDUID: 157802

no matter what bug says, i support lovebrain strongly!!!!!!!
erater costs me 1470+336 RMB!!!

流浪的小孩UID: 157889

楼主的例子过多了，与其举一大堆例子，不如精选几个展开说，显示它们与论点的紧密联系。
题目的落脚点是理解自己的文化，途经是要了解其他的文化。
楼主的思路是（我的理解）：
  1 是什么原因使得人们不能真正理解自己的文化——民族优越感
  2.解决方法——了解其他文化，通过对比和比较消除民族优越感，从而实现对自身文化的理解。
  3.了解其他文化有助于追根溯源，发现任一文化都不是孤立的，不同文化间的联系有助于减少冲突。
  我觉得思路很好，但表述不够清晰，每段的主题句要起到提纲挈领的作用（指段内）
  像楼主积累了这么多丰富的例子和警句学习，但对一篇文章还是不要罗列这么多，有堆砌之嫌