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[作文] 求助 我该怎么 缩短构思的时间 一用模版就跟自个儿写的内容搭不到一块去啊! [复制链接]

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发表于 2014-6-24 22:05:05 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
求助:我在规定时间内写出上面这个版本的 自己也感觉不好 等回过神来就能写出下面那个版本的 自己都感觉挺好 可是时间不够我思索啊 怎么破 621写作就砸在类似的情况上了 呜呜

举个例子

题目
Do you agree or disagree the following statement
Young people enjoy more life than old people do


——这是昨晚我规定时间内写的 拼写错的就当我考场也那么拼的吧 自己感觉:状态不佳————

Life is like a box of chocalate, you never know what you are going to get. Forrest Gump said it and impressed me a lot since the first time I heard it frome the movie. It has been a long time that population reprodution rolls with new generation of people gradually replaced the older one`s social status. But does it mean the young could enjoy their life far more than an older people? I would strongly disagree with it and I prefer to illustrate myself from three aspects below.

To begin with, older generation of people may have a better life than the younger one. For example, the people born before the Great Depression probaboly have a more steady life both physically and mentally. And these who born before the World Wars may suffered more becase there lied more possibilities for them to experience the grief losing relatives or their country`s independence.

Moreover, older people sometimes could be capable to act as a seasoned teacher who has seen a great deal of changes of the world. That is to say, they more gained more power from the past to view their life`s obstacle and dark side and transfer them by a strong and skillful mind. Young people may experience all these terrible parts of their life alone and try to learn from these precious living tracks, which means they possibly have to face up a totally umfamiliar situation occsionlly. As a result, the chance of enjoging may be decreased if we define the enjoying as a happy and peaceful period of time rather than a busy fighting period. The latter one can be treated as some kind of joy and achievements which also can be enjoyed, whereas hardly can I catagory them into the normal enjoyment.

Furthermore, older generation may have less living pressure for what they need more is peace and warmth, which mainly comes from an wise soul rather than money, meanwhile, the younger one may always spend most of their time on financial part and they have to struggle a little bit more for winning a brighter future. I believe from this point, both of the young and older party would have to face their own problems such as some of them lack of health and strength to play while they do have a lot of time and money, and some others may lack enough money to achieve what they want to play.

Obviously, as a conclusion, I can firmly state that I myself can hardly tell the difference from the young and the old party in a standview of life itself. Life is short, and we all have to fight and enjoy the whole poccesion with love and hope, neither the younger generation nor the older ones could be an exception.


——这是刚才我像写日记一样写的 感觉挺好的 就是用了很多时间去构思和写 然后还查了一些忘了的词 ——

Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get. Forrest Gump said it and impressed me a lot since the first time I heard it from the movie. It has been a long time that population reproduction rolls with new generation of people gradually replaced the older one`s social status. But does it mean the young could enjoy their life far more than an older people? I cannot agree with it more and I prefer to illustrate myself from two aspects below.

To begin with, being young means there are so many unexplored part of the world waiting for their coming. An old people seems like a seasoned tree which have watched too many years` circle of springs and winters, for them, life tastes great because many parts of it has been opened by themselves and turned out to be precious memories, either do they need not to figure out something as they ever did, for most of the answers have been already known now. Their life is not about the answers any more. The only question left for them seems to be how to finish the rest procession of it, instead of so many former ones asking for the true essences of living a life. By contrast, young people enjoy a full-hearted expectation with so strong curiosity, for them, life is more likely to be like a box of chocolate and they never know what is on the corner. This kind of inner experience waiting for something wholly new would be so unique that could never be compared to the feeling of the old people who meet the same thing in familiar smiles and skillful attitudes. That is to say, young people would enjoy a more interesting mental life track because no one else could replace them to experience what they may feel in the certain circumstance. This living experience procession brings the young people a stronger enjoyment of life and they always would be looking forwards to the tomorrows, as to the old ones, what made them impressed and tasted more actually lies in the yesterdays.   

On the other hands, being young means they could enjoy an energetic young body and soul with so powerful strength inside. Youth itself could a feast and enjoyment to people who lives in. Physical strength lies a solid foundation to more possibilities of living achievements just as they want, even like cliff jumping stuff or playing jet coaster could be their choice while the old people may lose their chance for ever because these activities may harm them permanently. Life is short. Sometimes it may upset old people for they may not accomplish everything they want as they used to be, but in the other way around, maybe we can say that old man leaves massive memories to themselves and sharing with it would inspire everyone else in a way they may not experience before, thinking of which may take people`s complicated lifelong tracks even and bring inside balance to them at the same time.

Therefore, for young people, besides the youth`s beauty itself, I do believe there lies more excitement and more beautiful future days to enjoy. Life is beautiful, and we easily can tell the difference from the beauty of the yesterday or of the tomorrow. Holding tomorrow at hand makes young people enjoy more life than old people do.

———我想用下面这个水平应试 可好像做不到 模版什么的也需要内容啊 可是一构思内容我就得打开日记模式啊 考场时间不够诶———


求指导



先谢了!!!

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沙发
发表于 2014-6-24 22:09:31 |只看该作者
今天想好好写 就借助了先写汉语思路 再想办法写英语的方法 一下是我的思路

年轻人比老年人更享受生活
是的
因为他们对未来的生活充满期待,也有好奇心,乐于去尝试新鲜的事物,享受到前所未有的生活的感觉。全新第一次的感觉永远是最值得期待的 最诱人的 老年人已经熟视无睹了
因为他们有年轻又健壮的体格,年轻本身就是一种享受,充满能量的躯体为参与更丰富的活动提供了基础,使他们能够更好的享受生活  过山车 跳崖  老年人已经不能做所有想做的事情了
因为他们能够在面对未知的未来时展现出勇气与才华 享受自己内在的心灵力量迸发出的过程 老年人只有回忆 难得再去


用汉语构思 会简单一些 对我而言 似乎
不过很耗时间 我知道
可光用英语想 救构思不来 T.T
完全按照模版写出来的我自己都不知道在写什么

然后写了一半感觉字数够了 就把第三条归到第一条里边了 反正区别度不是太明显

唔 第一次发帖哈 o(∩_∩)o... 想到啥再补吧 看过不少精华帖复习方法的介绍 很有裨益 还在实践

多谢各位寄托er 啦 :)

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板凳
发表于 2014-6-24 22:10:36 |只看该作者
这是OG 第二个练习 里的题目 嗯。。

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地板
发表于 2014-6-24 22:12:20 |只看该作者
按照昨天的思路 本来也写了一点提纲 后来发现没今天已经写了的这个好写 所以 就光留了提纲 不过昨天的主题意思应该也就是这个 我也粘下来哈


老人能更好的享受生活
因为
老人有更多的闲暇 安逸
老人有过去 提供了许多阅历帮助他们调整状态 解决问题 从而更快乐
老人有

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发表于 2014-6-24 22:20:39 |只看该作者
我发现这个帖子发这儿好像有点儿问题 。。。不过应该放哪儿呢 +.+

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IBT Zeal 备考先锋 US-applicant

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发表于 2014-6-25 00:36:12 |只看该作者
看了一眼题目,看了一下你写的内容,
不说词的拼写,语法上有硬伤。
内容,你想的复杂了,
我的思路:2点
1、年轻人身体好,老年人普遍身体不好,多数都补钙呢;
2、享受生活更多意味着进行娱乐项目,少林功夫+唱歌跳舞,这些项目基本上都不适合老年人,年轻人上杆子,
3、(备选)老年人生活很辛苦,因为政府的支持不够,自己又不能工作,能吃上饭就不错了,哪儿有功夫享受生活,年轻人长的帅薪水高,又是官二代富二代的,别说享受生活,宇宙都能去。
例子:1、大数据,某某网的调查;2、隔壁老王和他孙子生活的对比
什么精神头儿,有理想,有阅历,写这些没啥用,写简单粗暴的,想啥写啥,有逻辑,别超时,完活儿!

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发表于 2014-6-25 07:14:57 |只看该作者
sokiller 发表于 2014-6-25 00:36
看了一眼题目,看了一下你写的内容,
不说词的拼写,语法上有硬伤。
内容,你想的复杂了,

很有启发 谢谢!! 我觉得我习惯这么说话了之后 编都不太会编了 非常感谢!! 我再重新写一下吧 简单的句子经常写不到点子上 语法单词什么的哎 高中毕业后再没研究过 如今都快十年了 前几天借鉴精华帖的经验 还在拆分TPO 补词补语法 再次感谢!o(∩_∩)o...

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发表于 2014-6-27 09:08:31 |只看该作者
sokiller 发表于 2014-6-25 00:36
看了一眼题目,看了一下你写的内容,
不说词的拼写,语法上有硬伤。
内容,你想的复杂了,

Young people enjoy more than old people do

Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get. Forrest Gump said it and impressed me a lot. As we all know, when young people gradually grow up, their parents gradually getting older and older. But does it mean the young can enjoy their life far more than the old do? Some of us may say yes for the young who seems more energetic and curious for the coming days can truly entertain their youth without much extra efforts, while the others may disagree with it by showing how much pure joy of life the old people could touch by their sensitive seasoned heart and cherish it more than young people do, for which just bring them more enjoyment and satisfactions of life. As far as I am concerned, I prefer the former one.

To begin with, being young means nothing is impossible. From cliff jumping to some expedition onto the unknown world, the young would always behavior as the pioneer while the old could not. The body fulfilled strength and the soul with such a strong curiosity lead the young enjoy every step of their path forwards to check what is waiting to embrace them on the corner in the invisible future days. The old, on the contrary, may mainly enjoy the recalling of numerous memories from their golden past, rather than gear up again and participate to those entertainments without hesitation. Because many of them need extra calcium supplement in their daily life and they may not afford risks of being harmed during these activities. In addition, young curiosity may provide youth a different future based on various possibilities and choices they would face. Mentally and physically, it is some personal experience which would be treated as more tasty procession, I mean, belongs to their own and a so unique one, than old man`s sole solidified past. Compared to the worked out part of the old man`s yesterday life, young people definitely has a more aggressive motivation to achieve what they want in tomorrow. Therefore, in our life, so many of the entertainments just seem like to be designed and can be tasted only by the youth, which doubtlessly make young people`s life more enjoyable.

Moreover, being young means they can support their life by themselves. Not only in the body strength part, also in financial. By working for others or starting an undertaking with friends, young people can earn a higher salary. As to the old people, only so few of them can be prompted to a higher rank in their lifelong career, which means the rest of the majority would mainly rely on government`s retirement insurance project or other social financial bonus program to live in an abundant life. The limitation of the financial restricts old people`s range of activities, even travelling may spend too much energy and money of them, not to mention some else costly adventures. Besides, the old often has to pay a lot on their health care program, unless a strong medical insurance project can be offered, they could hardly use their savings for other aspects. It is easy to tell apart the differences between the requirements of the young and the old, the young can enjoy their days without much more burdens on shoulders as the old have to handle out. Thus, they can purchase the latest iPhone or Tesla automobiles in a minute and enjoy technologies more conveniently in everyday life.

In a word, holding tomorrow brings young people more to enjoy their life. Life is beautiful and always the beauty belongs to the youth more.
   

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