issue99 理想和现实类，我竟然写了《肖申克的救赎》，大家进来看看，多骂多骂，谢

icyscorpioUID：146659

099
99. "In any realm of life—whether academic, social, business, or political—the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options."
在任何生活领域中——无论是学术、社会、商业还是政治——获得成功的唯一道路就是采取现实的而不是理想化的观点。实用的行为确保了生存，反之理想化的观点正在趋于被更简化的和更直接的选择所取代。
理想和现实


Is taking a practical the only way to succeed, in any realm of life – whether academic, social, business or political?  Is it better than an idealistic at least?  The speaker claims so with the reason that practice action guarantees survival of human beings, meanwhile, idealistic views tend to be replaces by simpler, more immediate options.  I concede that the pragmatic behavior is indispensable for the ultimate success.  Nevertheless, I stick to the assertion that the actual practice is not the only way to achieve great success; moreover, in some fields of human endeavor, people should hold some idealistic point of view during the process of persuading the tremendous achievement.

For one thing, the idealistic opinion could not be substituted by others, in respect that only via some idealistic views people could see the possible splendid outcome, and then be filled with inspiration and energy to pursue it.  In contemporary society, with the information exploding, it is quite necessary and indispensable to have an explicit understanding and suppose on the ultimate result, or even every steps of work for the sake of achieving it easily and fluently.  Imagine what a stupid and ignorant man who always doing every thing without thinking the possible consequence is?  Here is a good illustration that could appropriately and fittingly prop up this explanation.  In America, during the year of electing, every candidate that pursue for the position of president would give speech whenever and wherever.  Each candidate wishes every American citizens know if all populace follow his/her leading, and then they would receive the things which he/she has promised to accomplish.  It is crucial and undoubted for the candidate to triumph, just owing to the essentiality of the idealistic perspective he/she promise the citizens a reward, which every people look forward to it.

Furthermore, if underestimate the importance of idealistic, people would not achieve tremendous success as optimistic as the speaker imagined.  Too much emphasize on pragmatic behavior, as well as the overwhelming simply point of view, human beings would lost the heart of persuading, by reason of laziness in thinking has aroused when one’s life is full of innumerous practices.  To demonstrate this point plainly and undoubtedly, here is an example that is very persuasive and believable.  In the sensational film “Shawshank’s Redemption”, the hero would never attain his freedom if he loses the confidence of getting victory.  That is, the idealistic view, by which he has not engaged in the busy works arranged by the prison, gives him gigantic hope and helps to his final accomplishment.  Therefore, it is so unadvisable to take action harshly and without any prudent thinking.

Even though grant the vital status of idealistic ideas, it is admitted that every great success in the long human’s history depends on the pragmatic behavior also.  Since only the actual action might transfer the situation from poverty to advancement, no matter in which fields - academe, society, business or politics.  I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this standpoint.  My tutor is one of the most respected professors in my university.  She has so much experience in real projects in her interested fields – composites aircraft structure.  One of the most prerequisite for she becomes an authority is the accumulation of pragmatic behaviors.  And this virtue could be widely used to the mass.

Accordingly, people always have some simple wish to live a better life though his/her industrious effort.  Besides this, anyone should not overlook the consequence of idealistic view, which could give one boundless inspiration and hope, at the same times, assist to attain success.

(598)

icyscorpioUID：146659

两天没写了，4.13考，现在状态不好，所以不敢动笔打击自己了。
这篇是以前写的，刚才自己改了改。
把段落的主题明确了一下。另外把有些句式变动了一下。看上去比刚写完的时候顺眼多了。
我觉得整体上来说好像还是有些强说理的嫌疑。
同时，第一段的例子好像很迁强。
不知当时想什么呢，竟然写到了《肖申克的救赎》，估计是受到了新东方老师的影响。
但我觉得这是自己想出的还算说得过去的不错的例子了。

今天完成了一篇PAPER，也算是投到国际会议的，英文的，但是第二作者。期待被录用。
累啊。。。。。

SRVUID：157299

99. "In any realm of life—whether academic, social, business, or political—the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options."
在任何生活领域中——无论是学术、社会、商业还是政治——获得成功的唯一道路就是采取现实的而不是理想化的观点。实用的行为确保了生存，反之理想化的观点正在趋于被更简化的和更直接的选择所取代。
理想和现实


Is taking a practical 少个词吧？ the only way to succeed, in any realm of life – whether academic, social, business or political? Is it better than an idealistic 这又少个名词吧，人家题目有个point of view做名词，你这里也要有啊？at least? 《The speaker claims so with the reason that practice action guarantees survival of human beings, meanwhile, idealistic views tend to be replaces by simpler, more immediate options.》 （前边太罗嗦了，不如直接从后面开始说，可以删去括号里得话）I concede that the pragmatic behavior is indispensable for the ultimate success. Nevertheless, I stick to the assertion that the actual practice is not the only way to achieve great success; moreover, in some fields of human endeavor, people should hold some idealistic point of view during the process of persuading （是不是pursuing啊？？）the tremendous achievement.太罗嗦，你得开头怎麽老犯这个毛病，可以考虑换换模板。

For one thing, the idealistic opinion could not be substituted by others, in respect that only via some idealistic views people could see the possible splendid outcome理想主义可以让人们预见未来得成果？呵呵，让我想想, and then be filled with inspiration and energy to pursue it这个我同意！. In contemporary society, with the information exploding, it is quite necessary and indispensable to have an explicit understanding and suppose（这个是动词啊，而且清晰得理解和猜想矛盾啊，可以用expectation代替吧？） on the ultimate result, or even every steps of work for the sake of achieving it easily and fluently. Imagine what a stupid and ignorant man who always doing every thing without thinking the possible consequence is? Here is a good illustration that could appropriately and fittingly prop up this explanation. In America, during the year of electing, every candidate that pursue for the position of president would give speech whenever and wherever. Each candidate wishes every American citizens know if all populace follow his/her leading, and then they would receive the things which he/she has promised to accomplish. It is crucial and undoubted for the candidate to triumph, just owing to the essentiality of the idealistic perspective he/she promise the citizens a reward, which every people look forward to it.这个例子挺好，明白了，用理想主意感染选民，相信美好未来！

Furthermore, if underestimate the importance of idealistic, people would not achieve tremendous success as optimistic as the speaker imagined. Too much emphasize on pragmatic behavior, as well as the overwhelming simply point of view, human beings would lost the heart of persuading（又是这个词，是我孤陋寡闻这个词除了劝说还有别的意思吗？）, by reason of laziness in thinking has aroused when one’s life is full of innumerous practices. To demonstrate this point plainly and undoubtedly, here is an example that is very persuasive and believable. In the sensational film “Shawshank’s Redemption”, the hero would never attain his freedom if he loses the confidence of getting victory. That is, the idealistic view, by which he has not engaged in the busy works arranged by the prison, gives him gigantic hope and helps to his final accomplishment. Therefore, it is so unadvisable to take action harshly and without any prudent thinking.呵呵，那个银行家得故事用在这里确实很有说服力！！

Even though grant the vital status of idealistic ideas（这句话有语法错误吧）, it is admitted that every great success in the long human’s history depends on the pragmatic behavior also. Since only the actual action might transfer the situation from poverty to advancement, no matter in which fields - academe, society, business or politics. I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this standpoint呵呵，你这个句式用得很多啊. My tutor is one of the most respected professors in my university. She has so much experience in real projects in her interested fields – composites aircraft structure. One of the most prerequisite for she becomes an authority is the accumulation of pragmatic behaviors. And this virtue could be widely used to the mass.

Accordingly, people always have some simple wish to live a better life though his/her industrious effort. Besides this, anyone should not overlook the consequence of idealistic view, which could give one boundless inspiration and hope, at the same times, assist to attain success.

挺好得文章，除了一些语病和错词，还有你得注意你得开头了，老兄。
我觉得你得思路挺清晰的，还有例子够顶！要是我再45分钟内能写你这样的文章，就好了
现在都是超时完成，不能体现真实水平。
加油！！我会继续关注你的文章！

icyscorpioUID：146659

单复数，拼写，语法，这都是我的毛病。
开头也是，一定注意，谢谢大家关注。
我写也超时，而且写完也基本不能看。
每次贴上来前都自己改过结构才敢上。

一起努力吧。再次谢谢。

好运。

icyscorpioUID：146659

Is taking a practical the only way to succeed, in any realm of life – whether academic, social, business or political?  Is it better than an idealistic at least?  The speaker claims so with the reason that practice action guarantees survival of human beings, meanwhile, idealistic views tend to be replaces by simpler, more immediate options.  I concede that the pragmatic behavior is indispensable for the ultimate success.  Nevertheless, I stick to the assertion that the actual practice is not the only way to achieve great success; moreover, in some fields of human endeavor, people should hold some idealistic point of view during the process of persuading the tremendous achievement.

For one thing, the idealistic opinion could not be substituted by others, in respect that only via some idealistic views people could see the possible splendid outcome, and then be filled with inspiration and energy to pursue it.  In contemporary society, with the information exploding, it is quite necessary and indispensable to have an explicit understanding and suppose on the ultimate result, or even every steps of work for the sake of achieving it easily and fluently.  Imagine what a stupid and ignorant man who always (doing every thing) without thinking the possible consequence is?  Here is a good illustration that could appropriately and fittingly prop up this explanation.  In America, during the year of electing, every candidate that pursue for the position of president would give speech whenever and wherever.  Each candidate wishes every American citizens know if all populace follow his/her leading, and then they would receive the (things) which he/she has promised to accomplish.  It is crucial and undoubted for the candidate to triumph, just owing to the essentiality of the idealistic perspective he/she promise the citizens a reward, which every people look forward to it.这段的例子好像说得比较啰嗦。老师说不要随意在例子上发挥。

Furthermore, if underestimate the importance of idealistic, people would not achieve tremendous success as optimistic as the speaker imagined.  Too much emphasize on pragmatic behavior, as well as the overwhelming simply point of view, human beings would lost the heart of persuading, by reason of laziness in thinking has aroused when one’s life is full of innumerous practices.  To demonstrate this point plainly and undoubtedly, here is an example that is very persuasive and believable.  In the sensational film “Shawshank’s Redemption”, the hero would never attain his freedom if he loses the confidence of getting victory.  That is, the idealistic view, by which he has not engaged in the busy works arranged by the prison, gives him gigantic hope and helps to his final accomplishment.  Therefore, it is so unadvisable to take action harshly and without any prudent thinking.感觉这段比第一段清楚些

Even though grant the vital status of idealistic ideas, it is admitted that every great success in the long human’s history depends on the pragmatic behavior also.  Since only the actual action might transfer the situation from poverty to advancement, no matter in which fields - academe, society, business or politics.  I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed (some) lights on this standpoint.  My tutor is one of the most respected professors in my university.  She has so much experience in real projects in her interested fields – composites aircraft structure.  One of the most prerequisite for she becomes an authority is the accumulation of pragmatic behaviors.  And this virtue could be widely used to the mass.老师一般不用some。感觉这个例子没说清楚

Accordingly, people always have some simple wish to live a better life though his/her industrious effort. ——好像有点跑题。 Besides this, anyone should not overlook the consequence of idealistic view, which could give one boundless inspiration and hope, at the same times, assist to attain success.

keldaUID：156803

No.1 issue99 理想和现实类，我竟然写了《肖申克的救赎》，大家进来看看，多骂多骂，谢谢。
099
99. "In any realm of life—whether academic, social, business, or political—the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options."
在任何生活领域中——无论是学术、社会、商业还是政治——获得成功的唯一道路就是采取现实的而不是理想化的观点。实用的行为确保了生存，反之理想化的观点正在趋于被更简化的和更直接的选择所取代。
理想和现实


Is taking a practical the only way to succeed, in any realm of life – whether academic, social, business or political? Is it better than an idealistic at least? The speaker claims so with the reason that practice action guarantees survival of human beings, meanwhile, idealistic views tend to be replaces by simpler, more immediate options. I concede that the pragmatic behavior is indispensable for the ultimate success. Nevertheless, I stick to the assertion that (the actual practice is not the only way to achieve great success; moreover,)（这句没有必要吧？） in some fields of human endeavor, people should hold some idealistic point of view during the process of persuading the tremendous achievement. (开头简短一些把，比如作者的观点可以再精简一些)

For one thing, the idealistic opinion could not be substituted by others, in respect that only via some idealistic views people could see the possible splendid outcome, and then be filled with inspiration and energy to pursue it. In (the) contemporary society, with the information exploding, it is quite necessary and indispensable (for whom?) to have an explicit understanding and suppose (suppose是动词。assumption? to suppose?) on the ultimate result, or even every steps(step) of work for the sake of achieving it easily and fluently. (感觉第二句和首句的连接有点突然。)Imagine what a stupid and ignorant man who always doing every thing without thinking the possible consequence is? Here is a good illustration that could appropriately and fittingly prop up this explanation. In America, during the year of electing, every candidate that pursue for the position of president would give speech whenever and wherever. Each candidate wishes every American citizens know if all populace follow his/her leading, and then they would receive the things which he/she has promised to accomplish. He/she promises that would accomplish   It is crucial and undoubted for the candidate to triumph, just owing to the essentiality of the idealistic perspective he/she promise the citizens a reward, which every people look forward to it. （感觉你这段的例子没有很好的支持你的观点。）

Furthermore, if underestimate the importance of idealistic, people would not achieve tremendous success as optimistic as the speaker imagined. Too much emphasize on pragmatic behavior, as well as the overwhelming simply point of view, human beings would lost the heart of persuading, by reason of laziness in thinking has aroused when one’s life is full of innumerous practices. To demonstrate this point plainly and undoubtedly, here is an example that is very persuasive and believable. In the sensational film “Shawshank’s Redemption”, the hero would never attain his freedom if he loses the confidence of getting victory. That is, the idealistic view, by which he has not engaged in the busy works arranged by the prison, gives him gigantic hope and helps to his final accomplishment. Therefore, it is so unadvisable to take action harshly and without any prudent thinking.

Even though grant the vital status of idealistic ideas, it is admitted that every great success in the long human’s history depends on the pragmatic behavior also. Since only the actual action might transfer the situation from poverty to advancement, no matter in which fields - academe, society, business or politics. I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this standpoint. My tutor is one of the most respected professors in my university. She has so much experience in real projects in her interested fields – composites aircraft structure. One of the most prerequisite for she becomes an authority is the accumulation of pragmatic behaviors. And this virtue could be widely used to the mass. （例子举的有点空。也没能很好的支持分论点）

Accordingly, people always have some simple wish to live a better life though his/her industrious effort. Besides this, anyone should not overlook the consequence of idealistic view, which could give one boundless inspiration and hope, at the same times, assist to attain success.
这篇文章有几个问题：
1．        开头过长，要精简一下
2．        第二段的论述及例子和第三段的例子没有很好的支持分论点
3．        语法方面有些错误，句式有的时候罗嗦。
还有，对于题目我有个疑问。你的文章基本上是围绕题目的第一句话来写的，那第二句话呢？是不是也要提一下？这个我也不太确定。咱们讨论讨论把。：）

springyUID：122511

099
99. "In any realm of life—whether academic, social, business, or political—the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options."
在任何生活领域中——无论是学术、社会、商业还是政治——获得成功的唯一道路就是采取现实的而不是理想化的观点。实用的行为确保了生存，反之理想化的观点正在趋于被更简化的和更直接的选择所取代。
理想和现实

觉得这是个多次被讨论的题目，不是说作为issue题目，而是在现实中。2年前《南方周末》的一篇文章给了我很多思考，其中说到了中国的学术科学发展，实利主义对学术研究氛围的影响。我觉得把这个问题想清楚了很重要。
Is taking a practical（这是个形容词吧） the only way to succeed, in any realm of life – whether academic, social, business or political? Is it better than an idealistic at least? The speaker claims so with the reason that practice action guarantees survival of human beings, meanwhile, idealistic views tend to be replaces by simpler, more immediate options. I concede that the pragmatic behavior is indispensable for the ultimate success. Nevertheless, I stick to the assertion that the actual practice is not the only way to achieve great success; moreover, in some fields of human endeavor, people should hold some idealistic point of view during the process of persuading the tremendous achievement.（可以再简洁一点，把时间留给后面的正题）

For one thing（这个连接词我怎么没有想到用呢，记之）, the idealistic opinion could not be substituted by others, in respect that only via some idealistic views people could see the possible splendid outcome, and then be filled with inspiration and energy to pursue it. In contemporary society, with the information exploding, it is quite necessary and indispensable to have an explicit understanding and suppose on the ultimate result, or even every steps of work for the sake of achieving it easily and fluently. Imagine what a stupid and ignorant man who always doing every thing without thinking the possible consequence is? Here is a good illustration（这个词不错） that could appropriately and fittingly prop up（不错） this explanation. In America, during the year of electing, every candidate that pursue for the position of president would give speech whenever and wherever. Each candidate wishes every American citizens know if all populace follow his/her leading, and then they would receive the things which he/she has promised to accomplish. It is crucial and undoubted for the candidate to triumph, just owing to the essentiality of the idealistic perspective he/she promise the citizens a reward, which every people look forward to it.（有点绕来绕去的感觉，如果你这一段是作为arg, 我就要从这个例子入手开始批驳了，投票者难道没有考虑候选人的speech中实用的成分吗？比如说福利、比如说经济政策。也许正是考虑了这些才投票的。总之，觉得例子的说服性不强。个人观点喔，你参考吧。）

Furthermore, if underestimate the importance of idealistic, people would not achieve tremendous success as optimistic as the speaker imagined. Too much emphasize on pragmatic behavior, as well as the overwhelming simply point of view, human beings would lost the heart of persuading, by reason of laziness in thinking has aroused when one’s life is full of innumerous practices. To demonstrate this point plainly and undoubtedly, here is an example that is very persuasive and believable. In the sensational film “Shawshank’s Redemption”, the hero would never attain his freedom if he loses the confidence of getting victory. That is, the idealistic view, by which he has not engaged in the busy works arranged by the prison, gives him gigantic hope and helps to his final accomplishment. Therefore, it is so unadvisable to take action harshly and without any prudent thinking.（这个例子我不太熟悉，但是你提到的the idealistic view具体指的是什么？认为可以再深入说明一下）

Even though grant the vital status of idealistic ideas, it is admitted that every great success in the long human’s history depends on the pragmatic behavior also. Since only the actual action might transfer the situation from poverty to advancement, no matter in which fields - academe, society, business or politics. I will present a pertinent paradigm which could shed some lights on this standpoint. My tutor is one of the most respected professors in my university. She has so much experience in real projects in her interested fields – composites aircraft structure. One of the most prerequisite for she becomes an authority is the accumulation of pragmatic behaviors. And this virtue could be widely used to the mass.

Accordingly, people always have some simple wish to live a better life though his/her industrious effort. Besides this, anyone should not overlook the consequence of idealistic view, which could give one boundless inspiration and hope, at the same times, assist to attain success.

你反对该观点的理由是认为，理想化给人希望、灵感和勇气，这个立意不错，不过我觉得例子并不是很合适。我的设想是，可不可以通过举反例来说明这个问题，如果人人都仅以实际化的观点来实现他的成功，将会导致什么结果？还有，口水话比较多，这个前面的人已经说过了。其实对于你文章本身用词方面我觉得还可以，结构也很完整，就是论证不够有力。好像泼的是冷水阿，供参考吧。欢迎再来批我的文章。
补充：又考虑了一下，举反例确实很困难阿。

icyscorpioUID：146659

谢谢。

第一个例子是不好，昨天和一个人讨论，觉得写莱特兄弟上天的例子更好。他们看到鸟飞，有了上天的理想，然后才能就实现。如果没有想像，就不可能有后面的成功了。

你说的学术上的例子，我再想想看，应该可以写得深入一些，我现在对这东西深有体会。

我的基础并不好吧，属于短期突破够用型的，四六级都是这么过来的，所以废话多了些。

提到论证的深入，其实主要是思考不够所致。这个我还真得注意提高。

谢谢帮助。

好运！！

ymluUID：158151

感觉body第一段和第二段论证的观点是一样的，似乎两端的topic sentence说的不太清楚。

jianguoUID：157933

Is taking a practical the only way to succeed, in any realm of life – whether academic, social, business or political? Is it better than an idealistic at least? The speaker claims so（没必要用so吧） with the reason that practice action guarantees survival of human beings, meanwhile, idealistic views tend to be replaces by simpler, more immediate options. I concede that the pragmatic behavior is indispensable for the ultimate success. Nevertheless, I stick to the assertion that the actual practice is not the only way to achieve great success; moreover, in some fields of human endeavor, people should hold some idealistic point of view during the process of persuading the tremendous achievement.（开头不错，学习之）

For one thing, the idealistic opinion could not be substituted by others, in respect that only via some idealistic views people could see the possible splendid outcome, and then be filled with inspiration and energy to pursue it（主语是opinion不能够prusue）. In contemporary society, with the information exploding, it is quite necessary and indispensable to have an explicit understanding and suppose on the ultimate result, or even every steps of work for the sake of achieving it easily and fluently. Imagine what a stupid and ignorant man who always doing every thing without thinking the possible consequence is? Here is a good illustration that could appropriately and fittingly prop up this explanation. In America, during the year of electing, every candidate that pursue for the position of president would give speech whenever and wherever. Each candidate wishes every American citizens know if all populace follow his/her leading, and then they would receive the things which he/she has promised to accomplish. It is crucial and undoubted for the candidate to triumph, just owing to the essentiality of the idealistic perspective he/she promise the citizens a reward, which every people look forward to it.

jianguoUID：157933

我觉得这篇写的不错，有我好多值得学习的地方。互相进步把