issue7 贴上限时和修改稿，征求意见啊（只有6天了）

hkkk5257UID: 155661

issue7 "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
这是限时稿，郁闷啊，字狂多，废话也狂多～！
Little doubt that the invention of video camera in the history of recording can be regarded as a great advance. It has provided us an alternative choice to reach an accurate and meaningful record. In my point of views, though I agree with the speaker that video camera provides an accurate record, the credibility of the information it provides is still under question. Moreover, compared with the written record, video camera remain has certain short-cuttings, which prevent it from the access to the public.

It is no doubt that the invention of video camera indeed provides individual in modern world an accurate and convenient method to record what happened around them. Such advantage, in certain aspects, can substitute the utilization of paper and pen record. As we know, video can record the whole process of any event objectively, including the people's behavior, costumes, language, and even facing movements. While all these might be neglected or recorded inaccurately in written record. For example, a paper description about an banquet might be like this: the writer might write in his /her books or documents that everyone is very happy to come here, the food offered is delicious, and the environment is so comfortable for everyone. However, the other readers who have accessed to this passage can experience differently to such a description, since according one's imagine and experience, it is very possible for everyone to have a various of vision to the banquet. On the other hand, if such a banquet has been recorded by a video camera, the experience would be much different, through looking at the picture provided by it, people can have a general understanding about such a banquet in many aspects: they know what dose the people wear, the people eat, the design of the ball and all what can be recorded. Form this sense, it is very clear that the record of video camera has provided a far more accurate and meaningful insight about what is going on.

Although the superior advantage of an accurate and appealing record of a video camera has, the credibility it offered cannot be completely accepted by the public. The reasons for such a claim are simple. As a new technique which is under control of human being, the video are becoming more and more subjective. For at most times, people use it always for record according to their own wills. For instance, the media in present society can serve as the best example. Under the force of the government, they are usually changing the record by their video camera to good sense in order to conceal the scandal of the government. With the development of new function of such video technologies, the camera can even be used make a feigned image on what had happened. The changeability and eraseability have in certain extent undermined the advantage of the video camera.

On the other hand, the most important point that I cannot completely agree with the substitute of the video record of the written record lies in that its high expense has prohibited it to the use among public. In almost every country, including the USA, the paper and pen record still serve as the primary tools for students to record because it’s convenient and accessibility. Although the pervasive use of video camera in education and instruction in most of the nation, still in remote areas, such huge expense of the video record remain the major encumbrance for the public to accept them.

To sum up, though I agree with the accuracy of the video record, however, since its changeability and high expense, this has prevented its accessibility to the public. So In my view, as far as such disadvantages cannot be conquered, the pervasive application of video in the public cannot be realized.[B]issue7 贴上限时和修改稿，征求意见啊（只有6天了）[/B]

hkkk5257UID: 155661

我都想跳楼了，快考了，还这样呢～！差不多都是重写的，郁啊～！

Little doubt that the invention of video camera in the history of recording can be regarded as a tremendous advance. It has provided us an alternative choice to reach an accurate and meaningful record of the contemporary life. In my point of views, though I agree with the speaker that video camera indeed actually record what happens everywhere, the credibility of the information it conveys is still under question. Moreover, compared with the written records, video camera remain has certain shortcomings, which prevent it from the dominance over the traditional records.

It is no doubt that the invention of video camera serves as both an accurate and convenient method to record what happens everywhere in modern world. Such advantage, in certain extent, has substituted the function of paper and pen in the role of records. As it is known to everyone, video can record the whole process of any event image by image, including the people's behavior, costumes, language, and even facing movements. While all these might be neglected or recorded imprecisely by written record. For example, in books and documents, a banquet might be descripted like this: wonderful service, happy individuals, delicious food and everyone feel easy there. After reading it, it is remain very difficult for readers to imagine how happy people are, luring the food is. On the other hand, if it is recorded by a video camera, the reader or watcher would have an instant imagine on the full sense: the industrious servers, laughing face of everyone, delicious food in the dishes as well as the lively talking between people. Compared with written record, video camera can support a true appearance of what happened in the past, which brings individual to a more accurate and concrete image about past events.

Although the superior advantage of an accurate and appealing record of a video camera has over written record, the credibility it offered quite often is doubted among the public. Compared with written records, video record is much less influenced by the individual who take it, if such a taking process cannot be directed through objective observation, the images it passes to the public cannot as convincing as expected. For instance, the present media, in which the video camera is widely use for record contemporary life, must have great responsibility in making a objective reports to the society. However, it is not always the case. Under the control of public, media usually conceal the negative image existing in society and only present the positive aspects to the public. Since it is very easy for today’s journalists to delete or modify what he or she has record with video equipment. The results of the changeability of video camera produce great distrust among the public people.

Not only the undetermined credibility but also the high expense prevents video camera from prevailing among the public. The application of video technique in education has served as a prominent improvement in instructional method in most developed nations. Nevertheless, in myriad of undeveloped countries, it is a pity that many schools remain largely depend on traditional tools such as chalk and paper book to instruct their students, because of the high expense required by the video system. Even in the remote areas in developed countries, the video camera systems are not pervasively applied in educational processes. As a result, without an inexpensive cost in video system, it is nearly impossible for it to compete with traditional records.

To sum up, though I concede that the video technique have a superiority in making a record precisely than traditional methods, however, since its vulnerability and high expense, which has prevented it from accessing  to the public. As far as these disadvantages are not conquered, the pervasive application of video in modern world cannot be realized.

GITERUID: 138732

我都想跳楼了，快考了，还这样呢～！差不多都是重写的，郁啊～！

Little doubt that the invention of video camera in the history of recording can be regarded as a tremendous advance. It has provided us an alternative choice to reach an accurate and meaningful record ofin the contemporary life. In my point of views, though I agree with the speaker that video camera indeed actually record what happens everywhere, the credibility of the information it conveys is still under question. Moreover, compared with the written records, video camera remain has certain shortcomings, which prevent it from beingthe dominance over the traditional records.

It is no doubt that the invention of video camera serves as both an accurate and convenient method to record what happens everywhere in modern world. Such advantage, in certain extent, has substituted the function of paper and pen in the role of records. As it is known to everyone, video can record the whole process of any event image by image, including the people's behavior, costumes, language, and even facing movementsmovement这里指的是什么呀？偶感觉好象就是behaviour. While all these might be neglected or recorded imprecisely by written record. For example, in books and documents, a banquet might be descripted like this: wonderful service, happy individuals, delicious food and everyone feel easy there. After reading it, it is remain very difficult for readers to imagine how happy people are, luring the food is这里可以这样并列嘛？. On the other hand, if it is recorded by a video camera, the reader or watcher would have an instant imagine on the full sense: the industrious serversservants, laughing face of everyone, delicious food in the dishes as well as the lively talking between people这句没有谓语. Compared with written record, video camera can support a true appearance of what happened in the past, which brings individual这里不太合适，我们人能不能用individual泛指呀？ to去掉to a more accurate and concrete image about past events.单复数一致！

Although the superior advantage of an accurate and appealing record of a video camera has over written record, the credibility it offeredoffers quite often is doubted among the public不通的说~~. Compared with written records, video record is much less influenced by the individual who take it, if such a taking process cannot be directed through objective observation, the images it passes to the public cannot as convincing as expected. For instance, the present media, in which the video camera is widely use for record contemporary life, must have great responsibility in making a objective reports to the society. However, it is not always the case. Under the control of public, media usually conceal the negative images existing in society and only represent the positive aspects to the public. Since it is very easy for today’s journalists to delete or modify what he or she has recorded with video equipment. The results of the changeability of video camera produce great distrust among the public people.
偶觉得这段有点不充分。既然图象这种很直观的东西都能作假，那文字性的记录为什么不行呢？或许可以这样说，可能是这种视觉效果给人的洗脑更直观更credible!

Not only the undetermined credibility but also the high expense prevents video camera from prevailing among the public. The application of video technique in education has served as a prominent improvement in instructional method in most developed nations. Nevertheless, in myriad of undeveloped countries, it is a pity that many schools remain largely depending on traditional tools such as chalk and paper book to instruct their students, because of the high expense required by the video system. Even in the remote areas in developed countries, the video camera systems are not pervasively applied in educational processes. As a result, without an inexpensive cost in video system, it is nearly impossible for it to compete with traditional records.

To sum up, though I concede that the video technique have a superiority in making a record precisely than traditional methods, however, since its vulnerability and high expense, which has prevented it from accessing to the public. As far as these disadvantages are not conquered, the pervasive application of video in modern world cannot be realized.
总体来说思路还是很清楚的，不过有的时候用词不是很合适，而且小的错误比较多。有一些不太顺或者累赘的地方。

从思路上可以给你一点提示，就是讲到video camera的缺陷时候，我们可以分析一下它在学术研究上的用途。相比纸媒介，video camera比较广泛，人们不容易从中抓住重点，而且缺乏适当的分析。这也正是学术论文一般都是纸张或者电子板文件而科学普及的作品很多都是依托于video camera的原因~~ :)

btw,不要跳楼呀！生命最是重要Di~~~要坚强呀！社会残酷的竞争本身不同情思想脆弱的人 :cool:

eveningboatUID: 157918

issue7 "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."

Little doubt that the invention of video camera in the history of recording can be regarded as a tremendous advance. It has provided us an alternative choice to reach an accurate and meaningful record of the contemporary life. In my point of views, though I agree with the speaker that video camera indeed actually record what happens everywhere, the credibility of the information it conveys is still under question. Moreover, compared with the written records, video camera remain has certain shortcomings, which prevent it from the dominance over the traditional records.(不错哦，观点鲜明）

It is no doubt that the invention of video camera serves as both an accurate and convenient method to record what happens everywhere in modern world. Such advantage, in certain extent, has substituted the function of paper and pen in the role of records. As it is known to everyone, video can record the whole process of any event image by image, including the people's behavior, costumes, language, and even facing movements. While all these might be neglected or recorded imprecisely by written record. For example, in books and documents, a banquet might be descripted like this: wonderful service, happy individuals, delicious food and everyone feel easy there. After reading it, it is remain very difficult for readers to imagine how happy people are, luring the food is. On the other hand, if it is recorded by a video camera, the reader or watcher would have an instant imagine on the full sense: the industrious servers, laughing face of everyone, delicious food in the dishes as well as the lively talking between people. Compared with written record, video camera can support a true appearance of what happened in the past, which brings individual to a more accurate and concrete image about past events. （感觉有些罗嗦，可以先说VIEDO的好处，然后简单的说such details could not be written expatiatory or it would be prolixity)

Although the superior advantage of an accurate and appealing record of a video camera has over written record, the credibility it offered quite often is doubted among the public. Compared with written records, video record is much less influenced by the individual who take it, if such a taking process cannot be directed through objective observation, the images it passes to the public cannot as convincing as expected. For instance, the present media, in which the video camera is widely use for record contemporary life, must have great responsibility in making a objective reports to the society. However, it is not always the case. Under the control of public(公众?政府?), media usually conceal the negative image existing in society and only present the positive aspects to the public. Since it is very easy for today’s journalists to delete or modify what he or she has record with video equipment. The results of the changeability of video camera produce great distrust among the public people.(论证比较有力,例子也比较恰当)

Not only the undetermined credibility but also the high expense prevents video camera from prevailing among the public. The application of video technique in education has served as a prominent improvement in instructional method in most developed nations. Nevertheless, in myriad of undeveloped countries, it is a pity that many schools remain largely depend on traditional tools such as chalk and paper book to instruct their students, because of the high expense required by the video system. Even in the remote areas in developed countries, the video camera systems are not pervasively applied in educational processes. As a result, without an inexpensive cost in video system, it is nearly impossible for it to compete with traditional records.(觉得这一段论证的不是十分有力,价格虽然是一个因素,但并不是主要问题。主要对比的还应该是paper&viedo的优缺点。比如说每个人看记录片可能都会错过一些比较重要的东西，而纸张则能很好的描述出来）

To sum up, though I concede that the video technique have a superiority in making a record precisely than traditional methods, however, since its vulnerability and high expense, which has prevented it from accessing to the public. As far as these disadvantages are not conquered, the pervasive application of video in modern world cannot be realized.（感觉结尾严重跑题，主题问得是和纸笔记录比的优缺点，不是能不能实现。）

我也在非常痛苦的写issue中，而且都没人帮我看呢。快考试了，一限时写issue就彻底歇菜，哎
谁有空帮忙看一下吧，在此谢了。
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=175703

hkkk5257UID: 155661

最初由 GITER 发布
[B]reach an accurate and meaningful record ofin the contemporary life[/B]

我要表达的意思是记录当代的生活，这个应该用of吧！

including the people's behavior, costumes, language, and even facing movementsmovement这里指的是什么呀？偶感觉好象就是behaviour.

我写的时候也觉得有问题，实在找不到好的词来写了，改成detailed furnishings at the banquet 好不好？

it is remain very difficult for readers to imagine how happy people are, luring the food is这里可以这样并列嘛？

我改了一下：to imagine the extent how happy the people are and dilicious the food[ is/color=red]

individual这里不太合适，我们人能不能用individual泛指呀？

我对individual 的用法没有仔细研究过，还望GITER 指教，因为我经常用它来代替people 之类的，换着用，没想到还不同啊

Although the superior advantage of an accurate and appealing record of a video camera has over written record, the credibility it offeredoffers quite often is doubted among the public不通的说~~

也许讲quite often 同is换下位置感觉要好些：这句话的意思是说：video的可信度值得怀疑

偶觉得这段有点不充分。既然图象这种很直观的东西都能作假，那文字性的记录为什么不行呢？或许可以这样说，可能是这种视觉效果给人的洗脑更直观更credible!

其实我写这一段的时候，心也很虚的。让我再想想video其他方面的弊端吧，也许要容易下手些

从思路上可以给你一点提示，就是讲到video camera的缺陷时候，我们可以分析一下它在学术研究上的用途。相比纸媒介，video camera比较广泛，人们不容易从中抓住重点，而且缺乏适当的分析。这也正是学术论文一般都是纸张或者电子板文件而科学普及的作品很多都是依托于video camera的原因~~

不知GITER的意思是不是说应该这样来批判video：因为它传达了过多的图像的东西，反而使人们过多得注意不必要的细节，从而缺乏abstract concept 的能力，所以在acdemic 领域video 不能取代paper

btw,不要跳楼呀！生命最是重要Di~~~要坚强呀！社会残酷的竞争本身不同情思想脆弱的人  

谢谢GITER了，自从打算考GRE以来事情就没有顺利过，也许是真的应该反思一下自己的时候了。不管怎样还要坚持最后五天：然后好好反思！

hkkk5257UID: 155661

最初由 eveningboat 发布
[B] （感觉有些罗嗦，可以先说VIEDO的好处，然后简单的说such details could not be written expatiatory or it would be prolixity)[/B]

这已经是我修改了一遍的了，你看看我限时稿，写的更恶心啊～！我想过要将一方面写详细后，另一方面一笔代过的，但是来不及想怎么表达了，就罗索了一下，也为凑字数的

最初由 eveningboat 发布
[B] Under the control of public(公众?政府?), [/B]

的确是我写错了的

最初由 eveningboat 发布
[B] (论证比较有力,例子也比较恰当)[/B]

其实这段我也觉得有问题，你可以看看GITER的看法

最初由 eveningboat 发布
[B] 比如说每个人看记录片可能都会错过一些比较重要的东西，而纸张则能很好的描述出来）[/B]

我想把你的这个观点用在第二个方面的论述中，然后保留我第三段的论述，反正都是找缺点，不太突出的缺点就放在最后顺带说几句了

最初由 eveningboat 发布
[B] （感觉结尾严重跑题，主题问得是和纸笔记录比的优缺点，不是能不能实现。）[/B]

接受，我把它画圆了，就是了，是有点扯远了～！呵呵