Issue44，政府是否该投资结果不明的科研，请大家狠批！

fishergirlUID: 152325

44. "Government should not fund any scientific research whose consequences, either medical or ethical, are unclear."

政府不应该资助任何后果不明的科学研究，无论是在医学上还是伦理上。

科研投资：标准、原则 － 主体：政府 － 对立观点

提纲：
立场：反对。
1.很多科学研究的结果都是不明确的。科学研究的目的就是使不明确变得明确。
2.有些研究，例如医学，生命科学，与人们的生活关系更密切，更直接，政府更应该加大投资力度。
3.但是，科研成果与其实际应用之间有距离，所以政府应该在投资之前慎重选择，并监控整个研究过程，以保证其方向的正确。
总结，正确的态度－－大胆投资但是不盲目。

Government has undeniable responsibility to the progress of science, hence it should fund any scientific research whose consequences may do good to the society, although the concequences are not clear at present.

In fact, the consequences of many scientific researches are unclear at the begining, only after a long time of research and practice, would they emerge step by step. Take Noble and his TNT as an example. He didn't know how much money, time and manpower will he pay for the invention of TNT when he started his experiment, and he couldn't expect how people use this invention later. All these had to be observed slowly, with time rolled around. Hence, if government abandons any scientific research whose consequence are not sure, many great inventions and discoveries would be still left unknown, and the progress of human civilization would be slow down as a result.

Forethmore, the aim of scientific researshes is to explore the unknown space and make uncertain things be more certain and clear. For example, before the finding of cell, no one can imagine that a body is constructed by so little structures; and then with the development of biology, more and more tiny structures are supposed and proved. Till now, scientists have achieved the level of portraying all genes of human race. And further, with the help of the portrait called "Human gene groups picture", scientists may explore new fields more profoundly and extensively.  From this example, we can see that any scientific research is an endless procedure so that it is impossible for government to predict how far can the scientists go in the research. Thereby, it is impolitic for government to stop some researches for fear of their unpredictable results.

Additionally, some fields of science that are related to people's life more closely and more susecptibly, such as life science and medical science, need more concern of government, although their research results are more confusing and gropingly. Gene therapy, a new method to treat patients from the origin of their illness, is a case in point. Although there are still many questions in the procedure of research, and whether the research consequence has any clinical significance or not is still unknown, government should invest a lot of manpower and money to the research in that such therapy may get rid of all diseases at the level of gene -- the source of diseases.

On the other hand, during the course of research, scientists may meet with many problems unexpected. And even they achieve a satisfying result, there is still many difficulties in changeing the result into actual practice and right purpose. For instance, clone technology which has advanced greatly in recent years, and has been used in resolving many problems now arouses many scientists and ethicists' worrying about the potantial danger if it is used for some evil purposes. Hence, to be a wise investor, government should weigh the benefit and risk of a research firstly, then have a probable acquaintance to it, and if possible, assign some specialists to cencor the project, draw up reasonable budget and supervise the whole research course. Only in such methods can a scientific research be carried out efficiently, effectively and orientedly.

All in a word, owing to the complexity and protracted nature of scientific research, many projects cannot get results in a short time. But government should not be reluctant in funding scientific researches if only they are beneficial for the public and society.

donaldUID: 137879

Government has undeniable responsibility to the progress of science, hence it should fund any scientific research whose consequences may do good to the society, although the concequences are not clear at present.

In fact, the consequences of many scientific researches are unclear at the begining, only after a long time of research and practice, would they emerge step by step. Take Noble and his TNT as an example. He didn't know how much money, time and manpower [U]will he [/U]  ([B]he had to[/B] ) pay for the invention of TNT when he started his experiment, and he [U]couldn't[/U]  ([B]could not,考试不要用省略式哦[/B] ) [U]expect [/U]  ([B]know exactly, 这样好象准确些[/B] ) how people use this invention later. All these had to be observed [U]slowly [/U]  ([B]gradually[/B] ), with time rolled around. Hence, if government abandons any scientific research whose consequence are not sure, many great inventions and discoveries would be still left unknown, and the progress of human civilization would be slow down as a result.

[U]Forethmore[/U]  ([B]Furthermore[/B] ), the aim of scientific researshes is to explore the unknown space and make uncertain things be more certain and clear. For example, before the finding of cell, no one can imagine that a body is constructed by so little structures; and then with the development of biology, more and more tiny structures are supposed and proved. Till now, scientists have achieved the level of portraying all genes of human race. And further, with the help of the portrait called "Human gene groups picture", scientists may explore new fields more profoundly and extensively. From this example, we can see that any scientific research is an endless procedure so that it is impossible for government to predict how far can the scientists go in the research. Thereby, it is impolitic for government to stop [U]some[/U]  ([B]all 政府不应该阻止全部吧,) [/B]  researches for fear of their unpredictable results.

Additionally, some fields of science that are related to people's life more closely and more susecptibly, such as life science and medical science, need more concern of government, although their research results are more confusing and [U]gropingly[/U]  ([B]groping,跟confusing对应, 形容词)[/B] . Gene therapy, a new method to treat patients from the origin of their illness, is a case in point. Although there are still many questions in the procedure of research, and whether the research consequence [U]has any[/U]  ([B]can surely bring some[/B] ) clinical significance [U]or not [/U]  ([B]去掉or not[/B] )is still unknown, government should invest a lot of manpower and money to the research in that such therapy [U]may [/U]  ([B]is promising to,这句话这样改,不知是否好些[/B] ) get rid of all diseases at the level of gene -- the source of diseases.

On the other hand, during the course of research, scientists may meet with many problems unexpected. And even they achieve a satisfying result; there [U]is [/U]  ([B]are[/B] ) still many difficulties in changeing (changing) the result into actual practice and right purpose. For instance, clone technology which has advanced greatly in recent years, and has been used in resolving many problems now arouses many scientists and ethicists' worrying about the [U]potantial[/U]  ([B]potential)[/B]  danger if it is used for some evil purposes. Hence, to be a wise investor, government should weigh the benefit and risk of a research firstly, then have a [U]probable acquaintance [/U]  ([B]感觉怪怪的[/B] )to it, and if possible, assign some specialists to cencor the project, draw up reasonable budget and supervise the whole research course. Only i[U]n[/U]  ([B]by) [/B]  such methods can a scientific research be carried out efficiently, effectively and orientedly.

All in a word, owing to the complexity and protracted nature of scientific research, many projects cannot [U]get [/U]  ([B]generate[/B] ) results in a short time. But government should not be reluctant in funding scientific researches if only they are beneficial for the public and society.

感觉思路还是挺清晰的,文笔也不错(比我强多了),但要注意一些小错误,例子比较贴切.我也是菜鸟,意见也提不出很多,共勉吧, 我四月二十二.

fishergirlUID: 152325

谢谢donald，这么晚了还帮我改作文，要注意休息哦！

改得很中肯：）

我们时间差不多啊，一起努力吧！

aerozxyUID: 142241

Government has undeniable responsibility to the progress of science, hence it should fund any scientific research whose consequences may do good to the society, although the concequences are not clear at present.

In fact, the consequences of many scientific researches are unclear at the begining, only after a long time of research and practice, would they emerge step by step. （这个句子有两个谓语了，最好用and连接一下）Take Noble and his TNT as an example. He didn't know how much money, time and manpower will he pay for the invention of TNT when he started his experiment, and he couldn't expect how people use this invention later. （这个我好象记得Nobel 就是看见工人们凿山开道很辛苦才决心发明炸药的，是有目的的呀）All these had to be observed slowly, with time rolled around. Hence, if government abandons any scientific research whose consequence are not sure,（注意前后谓语一致） many great inventions and discoveries would be still left unknown, and the progress of human civilization would be slow down as a result.

Forethmore, the aim of scientific researshes is to explore the unknown space and make uncertain things be more certain and clear. For example, before the finding of cell, no one can imagine that a body is constructed by so little structures; and then with the development of biology, more and more tiny structures are supposed and proved. Till now, scientists have achieved the level of portraying all genes of human race. And further, with the help of the portrait called "Human gene groups picture", scientists may explore new fields more profoundly and extensively. From this example, we can see that any scientific research is an endless procedure so that it is impossible for government to predict how far can the scientists go in the research. Thereby, it is impolitic for government to stop some researches for fear of their unpredictable results.

Additionally, some fields of science that are related to people's life more closely and more susecptibly, such as life science and medical science, need more concern of government, although their research results are more confusing and gropingly. （这句话表达感觉不太好，把让步放在句首比较好）Gene therapy, a new method to treat patients from the origin of their illness, is a case in point. Although there are still many questions in the procedure of research, and whether the research consequence has any clinical significance or not is still unknown, government should invest a lot of manpower and money to the research in that such therapy may get rid of all diseases at the level of gene -- the source of diseases.

On the other hand, during the course of research, scientists may meet with many problems unexpected. And even they achieve a satisfying result, there is still many difficulties in changeing （用putting或bringing好一点吧）the result into actual practice and right purpose. For instance, clone technology which has advanced greatly in recent years, and has been used in resolving many problems now arouses many scientists and ethicists' worrying about the potantial danger if it is used for some evil purposes. （好像克隆人们最担心的应该是伦理学的问题吧）Hence, to be a wise investor, government should weigh the benefit and risk of a research firstly, then have a probable acquaintance to it, and if possible, assign some specialists to cencor the project, draw up reasonable budget and supervise the whole research course. Only in such methods can a scientific research be carried out efficiently, effectively and orientedly.

All in a word, owing to the complexity and protracted nature of scientific research, many projects cannot get results in a short time. But government should not be reluctant in funding scientific researches if only they are beneficial for the public and society.


总体感觉论证思路比较清晰，但是各个
论点与例证之间的衔接有点问题，感觉像
body2那样论点一摆出来就用例证了，引导一下
是不是更好？另外定冠词的使用不是太好。

看来MM的确是学医的，医学上的例子举得比较多哦！

fishergirlUID: 152325

最初由 aerozxy 发布
[B]总体感觉论证思路比较清晰，但是各个论点与例证之间的衔接有点问题，感觉像body2那样论点一摆出来就用例证了，引导一下是不是更好？另外定冠词的使用不是太好。
以下省略...... [/B]

谢谢指教 :D

我要继续努力 :)

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

路过顺便提一下 你的提纲的第二点 和你实际写的还是有出入的 你本身写的是好的 但是从提纲看却没有很好的支持论点

fishergirlUID: 152325

是说这一条吗？

“有些研究，例如医学，生命科学，与人们的生活关系更密切，更直接，政府更应该加大投资力度。”

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

是的

persistence79UID: 149195

Government has undeniable responsibility to the progress of science, hence it should fund any scientific research whose consequences may do good to the society, although the concequences(consequences) are not clear at present.

In fact, the consequences of many scientific researches are unclear at the beginning, only after a long time of research and practice, would they emerge step by step. Take Noble and his TNT as an example. He didn't know how much money, time and manpower will (would) he pay for the invention of TNT when he started his experiment, and he couldn't expect how people use this invention later. All these had to be observed slowly, with time rolled around. Hence, if government abandons any scientific research whose consequence are not sure, many great inventions and discoveries would be still left unknown, and the progress of human civilization would be slow down as a result.

Furthermore, the aim of scientific researches is to explore the unknown space and make uncertain things be(be去掉) more certain and clear. For example, before the finding of cell, no one can imagine that a body is constructed by so little structures; and then with the development of biology, more and more tiny structures are supposed and proved. Till now, scientists have achieved the level of portraying all genes of human race. And further, with the help of the portrait called "Human gene groups picture", scientists may explore new fields more profoundly and extensively. From this example, we can see that any scientific research is an endless procedure so that it is impossible for government to predict how far can the scientists go in the research. Thereby, it is impolitic for government to stop some researches for fear of their unpredictable results.

Additionally, some fields of science that are related to people's life more closely and more （more去掉）susecptibly, such as life science and medical science, need more concern of government, although their research results are more confusing and gropingly. Gene therapy, a new method to treat patients from the origin of their illness, is a case in point. Although there are still many questions in the procedure of research, and whether the research consequence has any clinical significance or not (or not 好像可以去掉啊)is still unknown, government should invest a lot of manpower and money to the research in that such therapy may get rid of all diseases at the level of gene -- the source of diseases.

On the other hand, during the course of research, scientists may meet with many problems unexpected. And even they achieve a satisfactory result, there is still many difficulties in changeing the result into actual practice and right purpose. For instance, clone technology which has advanced greatly in recent years, and has been used in resolving many problems now arouses many scientists and ethicists' worrying about the potential danger if it is used for some evil purposes. Hence, to be a wise investor, government should weigh the benefit and risk of a research firstly, then have a probable acquaintance to it, and if possible, assign some specialists to cencor the project, draw up reasonable budget and supervise the whole research course. Only in such methods can a scientific research be carried out efficiently, effectively and orientedly.

All in a word, owing to the complexity and protracted nature of scientific research, many projects cannot get results in a short time. But government should not be reluctant in funding scientific researches if only they are beneficial for the public and society.

只改了几个词，

最大的问题是没有论证清楚：例子没有解释，分析，回到你的论点，支持你的论点
还有你好像队ethical这个词没有回应，伦理的未知结果

你现在还有一些时间，建议你看ISSUE 参考区的铁子

记得一个网友队分论点的证明模式为：论点 展开 例子 对例子说明解释（就是回应你的论点） 小结

fishergirlUID: 152325

提纲是开始列的，写着写着觉得不够切题，就改了一点。

dezhiUID: 156141

44. "Government should not fund any scientific research whose consequences, either medical or ethical, are unclear."

政府不应该资助任何后果不明的科学研究，无论是在医学上还是伦理上。

科研投资：标准、原则 － 主体：政府 － 对立观点

提纲：
立场：反对。
1.很多科学研究的结果都是不明确的。科学研究的目的就是使不明确变得明确。
2.有些研究，例如医学，生命科学，与人们的生活关系更密切，更直接，政府更应该加大投资力度。
3.但是，科研成果与其实际应用之间有距离，所以政府应该在投资之前慎重选择，并监控整个研究过程，以保证其方向的正确。
总结，正确的态度－－大胆投资但是不盲目。

Government has undeniable responsibility to是不是for？我不确定 the progress of science, hence it should fund any scientific research whose consequences may do good to the society, although the concequences拼错，consequences are not clear at present.最后这句重复了consequence这个词，而且表意不清，建议重写

In fact, the consequences of many scientific researches are unclear at the begining拼错, and only after a long time of research and practice,既然是倒装，这个逗号有必要吗？ would they emerge step by step. Take Noble and his TNT as an example. He didn't know how much money, time and manpower will he错误，用he would定语从句 pay for the invention of TNT when he started his experiment, and he couldn't expect how people use would make use of如何？ this invention later. All these had to be observed slowly, with time rolled rolling？ around.这里是不是进一步叙述一下TNT开发出来之后的achievement，来说明政府应该支持，这样是不是更有说服力? Hence, if government abandons any scientific research whose consequence are not sure, many great inventions and discoveries would be still left unknown不知道？还是undeveloped, and the progress of human civilization would be slowed down as a result.

Forethmore拼错, the aim of scientific researshes拼错 is to explore the unknown space and make uncertain things be去掉 more certain and clear. For example, before the finding discovery如何？ of cell, no one can imagine that a body is constructed by so little structures; and then with the development of biology, more and more tiny structures are supposed and proved. Till now, scientists have achieved the level of portraying all genes of human race. And further, with the help of the portrait called "Human gene groups picture", scientists may explore new fields more profoundly and extensively. From this example, we can see that any scientific research is an endless procedure so that it is almost impossible for government to predict how far can the scientists go in the research. Thereby, it is impolitic for government to stop some researches for fear of their unpredictable results.

Additionally, some fields of science that are related to people's life more closely and more susceptibly拼错, such as life science and medical science, need more concern of government, although their research results are more confusing and gropingly. Gene therapy, a new method to treat patients from the origin of their illness, is a case in point. Although there are still many questions in the procedure of research, and whether the research consequence has any clinical significance or not is still unknown, government should invest a lot of manpower and money to the research in that such therapy may help get rid of all diseases at the level of gene -- the source of diseases.

On the other hand, during the course of research, scientists may meet with many problems unexpected many unexpected problems如何？. And even if they achieve a satisfying result, there is still many difficulties in changeing拼错 the result into actual practice put…into practice and right purpose. For instance, clone technology which has advanced greatly in recent years, and has been used in resolving many problems now arouses 是不是想用定语从句？ many scientists and ethicists' worrying 这么用不太好吧？ about the potantial拼错 danger if it is used for some evil purposes. Hence, to be a wise investor, government should weigh the benefit and risk of a research firstly, then have a probable acquaintance to it, and if possible, assign some specialists to cencor拼错 the project, draw up reasonable budget and supervise the whole research course. Only in such methods in this way如何? can a scientific research be carried out efficiently, effectively and orientedly有问题.

All in a word, owing to the complexity and protracted nature of scientific research, many projects cannot get results show their effects in a short time. But government should not be reluctant in funding scientific researches if only they are may be beneficial for the public and society.

dezhiUID: 156141

我觉得论证有些散，各个段落之间的逻辑性不是太强，可以在提炼一下，写成三个段落就行。另外，例子举完之后的分析不够
还有众多语法错误。是限时吗？厉害，我在45分钟之内吐血也写不了这么多字，嘿嘿
anyway，写的已经很好了，继续努力！

fishergirlUID: 152325

可惜不是限时的：（

如果让我以吐血为代价换取限时成功而且写的还不太烂，那我愿意~~~~

dashuiniuUID: 142361

44. "Government should not fund any scientific research whose consequences, either medical or ethical, are unclear."

政府不应该资助任何后果不明的科学研究，无论是在医学上还是伦理上。

科研投资：标准、原则 － 主体：政府 － 对立观点

提纲：
立场：反对。
1.很多科学研究的结果都是不明确的。科学研究的目的就是使不明确变得明确。
2.有些研究，例如医学，生命科学，与人们的生活关系更密切，更直接，政府更应该加大投资力度。
3.但是，科研成果与其实际应用之间有距离，所以政府应该在投资之前慎重选择，并监控整个研究过程，以保证其方向的正确。
总结，正确的态度－－大胆投资但是不盲目。

Government has undeniable responsibility to?我回去查查 the progress of science, hence it should fund any scientific research whose consequences may do good to the society, although the concequences are not clear at present.这一段话我不理解,政府对社会进步有责任,因此就必须对科学研究投资,我总觉得很突兀,至少点一下科技的作用,要不然有点又要下大雾了,这点对我来说也是启示;另外,consequence是指科学研究的结果吗,还是人利用科学研究造成evil consequence?举例说，clone这种技术本身无所谓好坏,就看怎么用;你有不同看法,发悄悄话给我,我想知道你的意见,我也有点疑惑

In fact, the consequences of many scientific researches are unclear at the begining, only after a long time of research and practice, would they emerge step by step. Take Noble and his TNT如果第一次引出例子,稍作解释会有好处 as an example. He didn't know how much money, time and manpower这个词语,可能只人力资源吧,我查查,用在一个人身上可能不合适;并且,这个跟consequence不明确好象没有关系;后面你指的是政府对研究结果的不明确的科研的资助 will he pay for the invention of TNT when he started his experiment, and he couldn't expect how people 加woulduse this invention later. All these had to be observed slowly, with time rolled around. Hence, if government abandons any scientific research whose consequences are not sure, many great inventions and discoveries would? be still left unknown, and the progress of human civilization would be slowed down as a result第一次看见as a result这么用,我查查. 跟你提纲好象对不上,过程与结果是不一样的

Forethmore, the aim of scientific researshes is to explore the unknown space and make uncertain things be删去? more certain and clearer?make uncertain things more certain,逻辑上有问题,uncertain->certain->more certain. For example, before the finding of cell, no one can imagine that a body is constructed byin so littleelaborate structures?; and then with the development of biology, more and more tiny我去查比较级tiny structures are supposed and proved. Till now, scientists have achieved the level of去掉of,level不是太明白 portraying all genes of human race. And further, with the help of the portrait called "Human gene groups picture", scientists may explore new fields more profoundly and extensively. From this example不止一个例子吧，from those mentioned above个人意见, we can see that any scientific research is an endless procedure so that it is impossible for government to predict how far can the scientists go in the research. Thereby, it is impolitic for government to stop some researches for fear of their unpredictable results.总感觉你在说过程不明确，而不是consequence不明确，不好意思

Additionally, some fields of science that are去掉 related to people's life more closely and more susecptibly？, such as life science and medical science, need more concern of government, although their research results are more confusing and gropingly学到一个新词. Gene therapy, a new method to treat patients from the origin of their illness不明白, is a case in point. Although there are still many questions in the procedure of research, and whether the research consequence has any clinical significance or not is still unknown, government should invest a lot of manpower and money toin the research in that such therapy may get rid of all diseases at the level of gene -- the source of diseases.

On the other hand, during the course of research, scientists may meet with many problems unexpected. And even they achieve a satisfying result, there is? still many difficulties in changeingputting the result into actual practiceuse and inright purposeplace. For instance, clone technology which has advanced greatly in recent years, and has been删去 used in resolving many problems now arouses many scientists and ethicists' worrying about the potantial？ danger if it is used for some evil purposes. Hence, to be a wise investor, government should weigh the benefit and risk of a research firstly, then have a probable acquaintance towith it, and if possible, assign some specialists to cencorcensor the project, draw up reasonable budget and supervise the whole research course. Only in such methods can a scientific research be carried out efficiently, effectively and orientedly.

All in a word, owing to the complexity and protracted nature of scientific research, many projects cannot get results in a short time. But government should not be reluctant in funding scientific researches if only they are beneficial forto the public and society.
我觉得如果consequece没有界定清楚，文章的结构就有点让人看不动；不过可能是我自己的问题吧，我也疑惑中

fishergirlUID: 152325

写的时候也有一点疑惑，不过没太深究。就把是否能得到研究成果和是否会产生不良应用都归到一起了。
仔细想想，好像你说的确实有道理，界定一下会好写一些。
再想想。