GRE作文6分教学博客

ananan1523UID: 2528829

20151208_写作第一日，希望老师可以帮忙点评。博客的内容还没学习完，但是等不及了，先写一篇提纲。

Issue1、As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

本次训练目的：
按1+3格式写提纲，重点训练主旨句和主题句的呼应

题目分类：
本题属于是否同意命题及不同情况下是否正确

Background (paraphrase the issue)
In today’s society, technology is one necessary part of people’s life. Someone suggest that reliance on technology to solve problems can harm ability of humans without a doubt.

TS
pt1=communication apps, the statement is true,
pt2=calculator apps, the statement is true
pt3=new media, the statement is not true
In my opinion, it depends on what kind of technology it is. Technologies such as communication and calculator apps will definitely deteriorate people’s social and arithmetic skills while new media can provide more opportunities for people to get touch with latest information and inspire them to have more creative ideas.

TS (pt1)
As we know, if people rely on communication tools too much, they might find it rather difficult to communicate with each other in a real environment.
解释1/社交网络会提供吸引人的内容消磨使用者的时间，沉迷者会花费大量的时间在社交网络上
---->这种情况使得他们没有时间去考虑和学习如何与人打交道
----->长时间下去他们会逐渐丧失原来的基本社交能力。

解释2/另外，当一个社群中大量的人依赖社交网络进行沟通，原先少部分热衷现实交流的人会被孤立
----->逐渐的，整个社会的风气和习惯会被改变，热衷于现实社交的人数量会越来越少。
----->人群整体的沟通能力变弱。

TS(pt2)
It is also true that people might gradually lose the ability to deal with math problems if they only focus on using calculators.
解释1/计算器的目的是为了帮人类从复杂计算的体力劳动中解脱， 同时其的使用也可以使的计算结果更准确，排除人为失误的因素
---->由于惰性的原因和职业内容的原因，大众更倾向于利用计算器进行一些简单计算逐渐的，过度依赖计算器进行简单计算让大众丧失了基本的数学能力
---->计算器便捷的使用使得大众误认为一切简单的数学问题都可以使用计算器去解决。从而使他们解决问题的能力掉入单一的程序循环中。

TS(pt3)
However, there is no denying that people who are familiar with new media can get information more instantly and exactly than those who do not have it.
解释1/新媒体比如网站和搜索工具使得人们可以更快速地得到他们想要的信息---->由于互联网技术的支持，这样的信息丰富而大量。
---->相比传统的报纸和电视，网络工具还允许搜索者筛选自己想要的和不想要的信息因此，如果使用者希望能将信息为其所用，他们不得不对大量信息进行比较和筛选。
--->这一过程就像一种思维训练，使得他们对信息的接受速度和鉴别能力得到了提高。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ananan1523 发表于 2015-12-9 11:18
写作第一日，希望老师可以帮忙点评。博客的内容还没学习完，但是等不及了，先写一篇提纲。

Issue1、As p ...

你按照科技分类不是不可以 但是你这样分的三类并不是完全平行的
建议刚开始练习时严格按照范文的思路来模仿 等熟悉了范文后 再独立构思  

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Rebecca.D 发表于 2015-12-8 21:00
谢谢老师上次的点评，这次换一个稍简单的，针对characteristics具体分类三种情况讨论，请王老师点评
2.To  ...

Because major cities mostly stand by the economy., culture and political features.  这句话不是完整句子 而且stand by用法有问题
如果你同意 就不要在最后来一个nevertheless  弱化了自己的立场

ananan1523UID: 2528829

20151209_写作第二次训练，根据范文写提纲
Issue1、As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

本次训练目的：
根据范文改写提纲和例子

题目分类：
本题属于是否同意命题及不同情况下是否正确

Background (paraphrase the issue)
改写题目

立论办法
按角色分类

TS
pt1=用科技去解决问题的人
pt2=利用科技进行策略制定的人
pt3=不去寻找机会进步的人

TS (pt1)
TS/考虑第一类人Consider the scientists and engineers who are reasonable for developing the theoretical and practical aspects of the new technologies.
/IT IS TRUE,用科技解决问题----BUT，依靠自身的想法
/EXAMPLE,软件工程师使用编程工具来开发app，编程工具可以帮助软件工程师使得软件界面视觉化----解释,他们使用的电脑也可以手机和分析数据，这些数据使得工程师更好的了解用户行为，当这些用用户在使用不同的app的时候。
/BUT ULTIMATELY---没有任何电脑软件可以取代工程师去解决关键问题-----如何吸引用户以及如何改变用户体验-----IF,如果工程师要改进app，他们还是要去思考如何改进产品，通过考虑不同工具带来的数据

TS(pt2)
The development of new technologies also challenge those people responsible for formulating policies and rules regulating the use of technologies.

/例子---Facebook 和Twitter引起cyberbullying, hacking and privacy violation---->call for new rules and policies----->government officials, legislators and experts 解决问题----->state-of-the-art technologies, email, video conferencing, to collect feedback
/Example, SPSS
/BUT, technologies can never make the decisions-----think about issues from perspectives
/AS A RESULT, for policy makers, the statement does not hold true.

TS(pt3)
The concern that reliance on technology to solving problems may lead to deterioration of thinking abilities is more valid for the people who do not have the opportunities to think creatively and critically as a result of technological development.

/EXAMPLE, tv prevalent, news, entertainment, baby-sitting----no need to read newspaper------tv episodes, amuseument, do not need to think about, meaningful and fulfilling life------children
/STATEMENT AGAIN, lost the ability

CONCLUSION
/EXAMPLES, There are two kinds of people: those who know binary numbers and those who don't.-----LIKEWISE, think about issues related to technologies, technologies think for them.------FOR THE FORMER, grow----FOR THE LATTER, ability decline, deprive.

ananan1523UID: 2528829

20151209_写作第三次训练，问题：我总结一篇范文提纲大概需要45分钟，这个速度正常吗？
argument 14

The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.

"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

本次训练目的：
根据范文写提纲和例子

指引分类：
检验assumption，
解释argument是如何基于这些assumption,
指出argument产生的implication

题目Premise
Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth.

题目assumption
These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night.

提纲Background (paraphrase the issue)
/改写题目----A number of assumption-----We need to examine

提纲pt1 回应be applied more broadly, executives
/TO BEGIN WITH, be applied more broadly, not hold true-----single industry, advertising----EXPLAIN, MAYBE, burn the midnight’s oil to prosper-----BUT, not apply to other industries----EXAMPLE, insurance or manufacturing-----IN ADDITION, executives but not employees

提纲PT2 回应reliability
/IN ADDITION, it is assumed that executives need little sleep----IN OTHER WORDS, assumption is that, telling the truth-----IT IS POSSIBLE, respondents, impress----WITHOUT FURTHER DATA, it is not reasonable to apply the finding in the hiring processes.

提纲PT3 回应less sleep is the main reason
/ANOTHER ASSUMPTION, less sleep is the main reason----AS WE KNOW, correlation does not necessarily imply causation------OTHER FACTORS-----FOR EXAMPLE, a good team-----OR, lucky, kind clients-----CONCLUDE, WITHOUT LOOKING INTO, too hasty

提纲PT4 回应long term
/FINALLY, it is assumed, succeed in the long term-----MAYBE AGREE, accomplish more and sleep less------BUT, small amount of sleep, negative impact----WE ALSO DO NOT KNOW, lifestyles affect job satisfaction----MAYBE, force colleagues to work overtime, may not benefit a long term success.

提纲CONCLUSION
/IN CONCLUSION, it is not reasonable----MORE information is needed

Rebecca.DUID: 3622356

tesolchina 发表于 2015-12-10 08:57
Because major cities mostly stand by the economy., culture and political features.  这句话不是完整 ...

谢谢老师点评！！不加nevertheless这点感觉有不太全面，放在第一段简单说可以吗？

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Rebecca.D 发表于 2015-12-10 12:25
谢谢老师点评！！不加nevertheless这点感觉有不太全面，放在第一段简单说可以吗？

不可以
这是原则问题
你追求全面的后果就是成了骑墙派、wishy-washy

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

tesolchina 发表于 2015-12-5 19:35
205953
本博客点击次数已超过200K

212596
等到明年1月11日推出电子书稿之后 这个博客就不会那么活跃了

Rebecca.DUID: 3622356

tesolchina 发表于 2015-12-10 13:03
不可以
这是原则问题
你追求全面的后果就是成了骑墙派、wishy-washy

明白了，谢谢老师！！！

gwang3UID: 3636596

ananan1523UID: 2528829

20151210_写作第四次训练，
Issue4
Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

本次训练目的：
根据范文改写提纲和例子

题目分类：
是否同意论断以及考虑反对意见

提纲_Background (paraphrase the issue)
/WITH THE DEVELOPMENT, scandals ubiquitous-----HARDLY, high-profiles politicians, athletes or movie stars----WHILE, scandals attract attention, expose problems

TS
I do not believe that they are useful in solving social problems as they often focus public attention on the wrong issues and can hardly maintain public attentions for a sufficiently long time. After elaborating these two points, I will address the argument that scandals can usefully create pressure for the government to introduce reforms.

立论办法
多角度讨论

TS
pt1=focus public attention on the wrong issues
pt2=can hardly maintain public attention for a sufficiently long time
pt3=pressure for the government to introduce reforms

pt1==focus public attention on the wrong issues
TS/To begin with, the attention from the public after a scandal does not necessarily focus on the right issue.

Example and explain/TAKE…FOR EXAMPLE, Clinton scandal----WITH THE RELEASE OF STARR REPORT, national and international media attention----BUT, interesting to talk about, Clinton sex with Monica Lewinsky----EVEN, oral sex count as sex---BUT, real issue, lie and deserved the trust of American people

conclusion/WITH …INTERESTED IN, fail to focus attention on the right issue, not useful for politics

pt2= can hardly maintain public attention for a sufficiently long time

TS/In addition, when a scandal is involved in powerful corporation, a professional public relations team will very quickly take actions to address the crisis and divert the public attention from the right issues.

Example and explain/FOR EXAMPLE, BP responsible for oil rig explosion---DURING, BP hired a PR team to launch campaign , shift media attention----LIKE, financial resources to manipulate the media and the public opinions----AS, the public is forgetful, get away from such scandals.

Conclusion/ IN OTHER WORDS, one cannot really rely on scandals to solve problems involving big corporations.

pt3=pressure for the government to introduce reforms
TS/ Some people may argue that scandals are still useful in creating pressure to push the government to reform.

Example and explain/FOR EXAMPLE, after Sun Zhigang, tortured and killed, government abolished the institutions of arresting the homeless---WHILE THI CASE LEADS TO, it is doubtful, count on scandals, reform legal and social infrastructure.---TO FIX, educate people about rights---SO, people speak up against injustice

Conclusion/ We cannot just overlook the injustice in our daily life and wait for scandals to fix the problems in our society.

CONCLUSION
Pt1&pt2/In conclusion, while I acknowledge that certain scandals may eventually lead to some progress in our society, most scandals are not very useful in reforming the society as the public often focus their attention on the wrong issues and the powerful corporations can easily divert public attentions through their public relations campaigns.

opinion/TO achieve real progree in social development, we need better education to increase people’s awareness of their rights and their sense of justice.

ananan1523UID: 2528829

20151210_写作第五次训练，

Argument 1

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


本次训练目的：
根据范文写提纲和例子

指引分类：
还需要什么evidence
这个evidence如何加强或减弱argument

题目Premise
/Woven baskets have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea
/Brim River is very deep and broad

题目Counter premise
/a “Palean” basket in Lithos is found
/no palean boats have been found

题目assumption
/Thus if follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean

提纲Background (paraphrase)
According to this argument, the Palean baskets may have been made by people from areas other than Palea as the baskets have been found in the adjacent village.

TS提纲
We need more evidence about geographical information of the area, the technologies of building boats and bridges and the characteristics of the baskets in order to evaluate the argument.

Pt1=geographical information of the area
Pt2=the technologies of building boats and bridges
PT3=characteristics of the baskets

提纲pt1 =geographical information of the area
Pt1/ While the author assumes that the baskets could only have been carried by boats which had not been found, there are other possible scenarios.

Example and explain 1/ FOR EXAMPLE, river at that time was not as deep---IF, river, shallow, trading baskets

Example and explain 2/ON THE OTHER HAND, weather was cold-----AGAIN, people can walk across

Conclusion/ So we need more information about the geography and climate in the area at the time to assess how likely the scenarios discussed above were.


提纲PT2=the technologies of building boats and bridges

Pt2/ We also need to know more about the technologies of Palean and LIthoian people at the time for building boats and bridges.

example and explain/ SPECIFICALLY, whether they were able to build boats, materials they used---MAYBE they could, materials could not survive, left no traces to locate---NOT NECESSARILY, absence does not imply no boats or bridges were available then.

Conclusion/ More information regarding these issues is needed.


提纲PT3=characteristics of the baskets
Pt3/Another importance piece of evidence we need is the materials being used to make the baskets.

Example and explain/ SPECIFICALLY, basket float---IT IS POSSIBLE, baskets had been dumped, carried by water, picked up—TO ASSESS HOW LIKELY THIS SCENARIOS IS, know the density of the materials, some physical characteristics.

提纲CONCLUSION
General /In conclusion, it is difficult to decide whether people from Lithos may have learned to make the baskets. More information about different issues discussed above has to be gathered to assess the strength of the argument.

ananan1523UID: 2528829

写作第六次训练
Issue4、
Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

本次训练目的：
根据范文改写提纲和例子

题目分类：
是否同意命题及不同情况下是否正确

PF_ paraphrase the issue
/Are leaders created by demands placed on them?

PF_TS
/In most institutional settings, leaders are not created by the demands because a person can become a leader before meeting any demands if she/he masters strong communication skills, holds suitable qualifications and has extensive experiences.

PF_回应写作指导
/Nevertheless, in certain exceptional circumstances, usually in emergencies, ordinary people may become leaders in response to the demands.

立论办法
按不同元素

TS
pt1=communication skills
pt2=suitable qualifications
pt3=extensive experiences

PM1_pt1== communication skills

TS/Without being tested by demands for leadership, people often assume leadership positions by demonstrating strong communication skills that are important for dealing with situations in which they have to lead others to solve problems.

Example and explain/IN THE FIELD OF, senior researchers, discipline, fellow researchers----IN ORDER, leadership positions, editor of top journals and chairpersons of the academic societies---THEY ALSO, demonstrate willingness, listen to---AND, understand ideas and concerns about the fields.

conclusion/SUCH, communication skills, enable, leaders, and help others to meet the challenges

PM_pt2+pt3= suitable qualifications and extensive experiences

TS/In addition to communication skills, leaders also have to receive relevant training to acquire the professional qualifications and expertise that are necessary for the leadership positions.

Example and explain/ Referring to the examples of leaders, it is clear that, editorial board, chairperson of an academic association, in addition to holding a PHD in relevant fields, influential papers, accumulated extensive administrative experiences---Usually with, be able, leaders

Conclusion/ In other words, taking the leadership roles in an institution does not necessarily relate to the demands for leadership.

PM3_回应写作指导

TS/ On the other hand, there are exceptional circumstances in which ordinary people may become leaders while trying to address the demands at the moments

Example and explain/On September11, 2001, 911---- We do not have details about, heroic acts—But it is safe to believe that, courageous passengers, crew members, responded to---after knowing, earlier that day---These ordinary men and women, anti-terrorist mission, without training and experiences---Their leadership, demands placed on them

CONCLUSION

Pt1+pt2+pt3/In conclusion, in most institutional settings, leaders are not created by demands but selected based on the candidates’ communication skills, qualifications and experiences.

写作指引/Nevertheless, under exceptional circumstances, ordinary people may become leaders in response to the demands for leadership.

ananan1523UID: 2528829

写作第七次训练，直接抄袭老师的范文提纲。。。
Argument 6
Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining.

Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

本次训练目的：
根据范文写提纲和例子

指引分类：
还需要什么evidence
这个evidence如何加强或减弱argument

题目Premise
/ They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year.
/ Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it.
/ Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt,
/ Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining.


题目assumption
/We can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

TS

Pt1=More evidence about the accuracy of the hunter’s reports
Pt2=More evidence about the sea ice in arctic region
PT3=Evidence that may provide other explanations for the decline of deer population

提纲pt1 = More evidence about the accuracy of the hunter’s reports
-        Whether the hunters had scared away the deer with their guns
-        Whether the hunters had visited the area in a particular point in time when the deer were less active
-        How many hunters had reported the deer population; the number was small- less reliable

提纲PT2=the technologies of building boats and bridges
-        Whether the sea ice in arctic region had melted ( global warming trend does not mean local warming)
-        Whether more food was available near the habitat due to the climate change (then no need to travel)

提纲PT3=evidence that may provide other explanations for the decline of deer population
-        Any pollution that may threaten the deer population
-        overhunting

ananan1523UID: 2528829

写作第八次训练

Issue 82/97/100/124
Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

本次训练目的：
根据范文改写提纲和例子

题目分类：
评估具体情况下某建议是否可行

PF_Background (paraphrase the issue)
There are two reasons why I believe that the requirement of studying abroad for one semester is important for the development of students.

PF_TS
First, it is particularly helpful for students to sharpen their foreign languages skills that can benefit their future careers. In addition, the experiences of studying in a foreign country can help the students better understand their own country and culture through intercultural communication.

PF_回应写作指导
/As for the concern about the cost of studying abroad, exchange programs and scholarships should be offered to make the opportunities of studying abroad more affordable.

立论办法
按不同元素

TS
pt1=foreign language skills
pt2=culture understanding
对应写作指导=cost of studying abroad

PM1_pt1== foreign language skills
TS/To begin with, students should be required to study abroad so that they can improve their proficiency levels of a foreign language.

Example and explain_3句话/This policy is particularly important, non-English speaking countries------With English becoming, dominant lingua franca, benefit tremendously------Not only can they, daily basis, they will also, confident users

Conclusion/With English skills becoming increasingly important for one’s future career, this requirement can help the students become more marketable and employable.

PM2_pt2 = culture understanding

TS/The second reason why I believe this requirement is helpful is that students can also better understand one’s own culture after spending some time in a foreign country.

Example and explain_4句话/This may seem a bit counter-intuitive at the first glimpse.----But the truth is, introduce their home cultures, limited knowledge, strong interest----They also need to answer questions, raised by, take things for granted----By serving as a cultural ambassador, deepen one’s own understanding

Conclusion/ The new perspective that is very valuable may not be possible if students stay in their home countries for college studies.

PM3_回应写作指导
TS/ People may be concerned with the cost of studying abroad and argue that this requirement may impose extra financial burden on students and their families.

Example and explain_4句话/Here are two ways this concern can be addressed---First, the study-abroad program, takes the form of exchange program, partner university abroad---Under such arrangement, pay tuition, by the foreign exchange students paying their local tuition.---- Therefore, not be more expensive------Meanwhile, financial aid, cover, living expenses

Conclusion/Through the financial support of the government and/or the universities, students with limited financial resources can also have the opportunities to study abroad.

CONCLUSION
Pt1+pt2 /In conclusion, the policy of requiring students to study abroad can provide valuable opportunities to practice their foreign language skills and reflect on their own cultures from new perspectives.

写作指引/Meanwhile, exchange programs and financial aid programs should be introduced to help students with financial difficulties.