issue93(破釜沉舟，都来掐掐吧)

dallowayUID: 156640

不知道昨天的自我反省有没有起色啊？
TS是否扣题？论证现在有力度吗？
我还有个头疼的问题－不会结尾，向大家求教了
//bow

93. The concept of ‘individual responsibility’ is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

提纲：
1 肯定"个人要承担责任"
2 批驳题目的第一句话individual responsibility is a necessary fiction，从三个层次
3 批驳题目第二句话中的largely determined by forces

As is known to all, societies should keep each individual responsible for one’s own actions, as the author claims.  I strongly disagree with the author that such responsibility is a mere fiction and people cannot make their own decision but replace by forces.


It is clear that societies must hold individuals responsible for their own actions. Admittedly, everyone enjoys civil rights endowed by law and should take corresponding obligations at the same time.  For example, an adult, according to American Constitution, enjoys the rights of vote as well as assumes the duty of vote.  But under almost all circumstances, it is more important for one to take responsibilities.  Such accountabilities will remind one the results of the law-breaking and violating other’s interest at any moments.  If one’s action conflicts statutes and others’ interests, one should be punished consequently.  If individuals are not required to take responsibilities and to observe certain rules, the whole society will deteriorate into chaos since there are no longer restrictions to ensure social order.


But the concept of individual responsibility is a real definition other than a necessary fiction.  Individual responsibilities consist of many aspects in terms of personal, community’s and societal level.  At personal level, one should perform marital incumbency, share housework as a family member, and raise child etc. At community’s level, one should try to build a harmonious neighborhood and help each other.  At societal level, one should love homeland, observe certain moral and ethic standard as well as obey laws.  From above, one can tell that there are innumerous individual responsibilities in reality, which is far more than a fictive concept.


Last but not least, one can decide personal behavior properly as a rational human being.  Each individual in democratic and stable society is encouraged to develop individual interest, creativity and initiative and to make both trivial and vital choices everyday.  While in some cases there exists some forces that will affect one’s behavior but they cannot fundamentally change the fact that one can make decision by one’s own.  The claim that people’s behavior is mainly decided by forces not of their own making will bring about nothing but excuse to shift duties. Those who want to take no responsibilities will like this excuse since they will argue that they cannot control their own behavior because they are compelled to do so.  Such claim will also result in tendency towards pessimism and passivism since influenced by such negative assertion one will give up responding actively, which will impede the sustainable development of individual and the whole society.  


To sum up, each individual should be obliged to take responsibilities for the result of one’s own actions. Only through this way can a society and the individuals in it make stable progress.

lovebrianUID: 157127

这个可是bt题目阿！！我看看先~~
不知道昨天的自我反省有没有起色啊？
TS是否扣题？论证现在有力度吗？
我还有个头疼的问题－不会结尾，向大家求教了
//bow

93. The concept of ‘individual responsibility’ is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

提纲：
1 肯定"个人要承担责任"
2 批驳题目的第一句话individual responsibility is a necessary fiction，从三个层次
3 批驳题目第二句话中的largely determined by forces

As is known to all, societies should keep each individual responsible for one’s own actions, as the author claims. I strongly disagree with the author that such responsibility is a mere fiction and people cannot make their own decision but replace by forces.那你的观点呢？为何不说出来？


It is clear that societies must hold individuals responsible for their own actions社会必须要求个人对其行为负责. Admittedly, everyone enjoys civil rights endowed by law and should take corresponding obligations at the same time. For example, an adult, according to American Constitution, enjoys the rights of vote as well as assumes the duty of vote. But under almost all circumstances, it is more important for one to take responsibilities. 前面：让步，人都有权利；转折，人的义务更重要——与社会必须要求个人对其行为负责的关系是什么？？Such accountabilities will remind one the results of the law-breaking and violating other’s interest at any moments. If one’s action conflicts statutes and others’ interests, one should be punished consequently. If individuals are not required to take responsibilities and to observe certain rules, the whole society will deteriorate into chaos since there are no longer restrictions to ensure social order. 最后这两句算是擦到ts了~~evidence在哪儿？？前面那个让步没意义


Butbut是什么意思？ the concept of individual responsibility is a real definition other than a necessary fiction. Individual responsibilities consist of many aspects in terms of personal, community’s and societal level. At personal level, one should perform marital incumbency, share housework as a family member, and raise child etc. At community’s level, one should try to build a harmonious neighborhood and help each other. At societal level, one should love homeland, observe certain moral and ethic standard as well as obey laws. From above, one can tell that there are innumerous individual responsibilities in reality, which is far more than a fictive concept.你对题目理解有问题。题目的意思是fiction，目的是说后面那句：即都是强制的~~~~~明白了吗？而不是说这个概念存在不存在


Last but not least, one can decide personal behavior properly as a rational human being. Each individual in democratic and stable society is encouraged to develop individual interest, creativity and initiative and to make both trivial and vital choices everyday. While in some cases there exists some forces that will affect one’s behavior but they cannot fundamentally change the fact that one can make decision by one’s own. 就前面这句话应该展开论证The claim that people’s behavior is mainly decided by forces not of their own making will bring about nothing but excuse to shift duties.shift duties这句话什么作用？？ Those who want to take no responsibilities will like this excuse since they will argue that they cannot control their own behavior because they are compelled to do so. Such claim will also result in tendency towards pessimism and passivism since influenced by such negative assertion one will give up responding actively, which will impede the sustainable development of individual and the whole society. 又不知道该怎么写了？既然说尽管有forces干涉，但是人仍能自我决定，那就说这个话题阿~~后面绕来绕去在干什么？该说：这些forces如何不能根本决定，人如何能决定阿   evidence呢？？后面说这种claim带来的负面作用~~这是想说什么呢？


To sum up, each individual should be obliged to take responsibilities for the result of one’s own actions. Only through this way can a society and the individuals in it make stable progress.


ts立得不好~~然后是对题目的理解还有问题~~~~

去找一个思路清晰的题目练练~~这种bt题目还是放放吧~~

关于结尾，我是总结ts然后thesis，能升华就升华一下~~~my opinion

dallowayUID: 156640

再次感谢狒狒狂掐我！！！越狠越好！！！

那你的观点呢？为何不说出来？

嗯，确实我应该再写一下我的观点。

前面：让步，人都有权利；转折，人的义务更重要——与社会必须要求个人对其行为负责的关系是什么？？

是想说既然人正因为有义务要履行，就应该对其行为负责，义务规定行为。

but是什么意思？

不知道段落间怎么用连接词衔接:confused:

shift duties这句话什么作用？？

我是想说那些人说不能左右自己行为只是不想负责的借口

evidence～～

看来我还不是很明白啊

你对题目理解有问题。题目的意思是fiction，目的是说后面那句：即都是强制的~~~~~明白了吗？

我确实不是这么理解的。看教材上的翻译“个人责任的概念是一种很必要的虚构”，给我的感觉就是“个人责任”只是作为一种概念产生的，大家一谈到“个人责任”只是感觉确实有这么个东西，但谁又不去真切地想这个“个人责任”到底为何物，更接近于一种口号式的东东。

去找一个思路清晰的题目练练~~这种bt题目还是放放吧~~

当时写的时候没觉得bt，写出来看看，确实有些bt啊

刚查查silentwings好像有篇范文，学习ing...

lovebrianUID: 157127

issue的每句话都应该有他结构中的作用~~
也就是说，只有意思是不充分的~~必须能够衔接——这点我问题不小
发现问题就好办了~~有的放矢
再好好加油！

dallowayUID: 156640

谢谢鼓励
你的意见对我太重要了

eveningboatUID: 157918

我头痛，正好看见你了，给我等着，我这就咬，咬死你。

dallowayUID: 156640

好吧，尽管掐！没几天再让大家掐的机会了啊！

eveningboatUID: 157918

我头痛，所以我骂人
我骂人，所以我痛快
你自杀，可别来找我

提纲：
1 肯定"个人要承担责任"
2 批驳题目的第一句话individual responsibility is a necessary fiction，从三个层次
3 批驳题目第二句话中的largely determined by forces

As is known to all, societies should keep each individual responsible for one’s own actions, as the author claims. I strongly disagree with the author that such responsibility is a mere fiction and people cannot make their own decision but replace by forces.ft,搞什么飞机，把人家的观点拆开了，一半肯定，一半否定的。别管那鳖三了，说个recently关于责任的debate挺多什么的，然后自己立一个


It is clear that societies must hold individuals responsible for their own actions. Admittedly, everyone enjoys civil rights endowed by law and should take corresponding obligations at the same time.责任和义务的关系 For example, an adult, according to American Constitution, enjoys the rights of vote as well as assumes the duty of vote. But under almost all circumstances, it is more important for one to take responsibilities. but？为什么要but？你要论证的是什么？怎好撇下一个Such accountabilities will remind one the results of the law-breaking and violating other’s interest at any moments. If one’s action conflicts statutes and others’ interests, one should be punished consequently. 对吗，这里牵涉到别人的权力了，但是极不明显。也就我吧，给你看看，大米鸡可不管你。想办法给整一块去If individuals are not required to take responsibilities and to observe certain rules, the whole society will deteriorate into chaos since there are no longer restrictions to ensure social order.


But又来了，你开头怎么总巴特，巴特的，想去美国看篮球啊,however也比你那巴特强 the concept of individual responsibility is a real definition other than a necessary fiction. Individual responsibilities consist of many aspects in terms of personal, community’s别扭不？communal and societal level. At personal level, one should perform marital incumbency, share housework as a family member, and raise child etc. At community’s(给我改) level, one should try to build a harmonious neighborhood andpeople should，就你老哥一个你自己一痴去吧 help each other. At societal level, one should love homeland, observe certain moral and ethic standard as well as obey laws. From above, one can tell that there are innumerous individual responsibilities in reality, which is far more than a fictive concept.我****1000字，你想说什么，咋中文提纲写的好好的，到这都不一样了？整个一段我都不知道你要表达什么问题，看来看去好像你承认了那鳖三的观点了。


Last but not least, one can decide personal behavior properly as a rational human being. Each individual in democratic and stable society is encouraged to develop individual interest, creativity and initiative and to make both trivial and vital choices everyday. While in some cases there exists some forces that will affect one’s behavior but they cannot fundamentally change the fact that one can make decision by one’s own.累死我了，给我拆！拆！拆！再细化，你写着不累我看着累 The claim that people’s behavior is mainly decided by forces not of their own making will bring about nothing but excuse to shiftoffduties. Those who want to take no responsibilities will like this excuse since they will argue that they cannot control their own behavior because they are compelled to do so.言论还是事实？ Such claim will also result in tendency towards pessimism and passivism since influenced by such negative assertion one will give up responding actively, which will impede the sustainable development of individual and the whole society. ft，彻底被你打败了，好像事实上人们的行为就像是被强制的，然而却不能那么说，因为这么说会怎么怎么样，你简直就是一个天生的独裁者


To sum up, each individual should be obliged to take responsibilities for the result of one’s own actions. Only through this way can a society and the individuals in it make stable progress.结尾……我也写不好。


整个论证偏了哦，跟你的提纲完全对不上

批的是不是太狠了？多做点机经题吧，我的分类你看得怎么样了？

dallowayUID: 156640

把人家的观点拆开了，一半肯定，一半否定的

我确实承认societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions啊，不是得论述怎么肯定的吗？

but？为什么要but？你要论证的是什么？怎好撇下一个

因为我想强调义务是主要的

对吗，这里牵涉到别人的权力了，但是极不明显。也就我吧，给你看看，大米鸡可不管你。想办法给整一块去

这个地方确实我说的比较模糊

又来了，你开头怎么总巴特，巴特的，想去美国看篮球啊,however也比你那巴特强

我确实不知道段落之间如何连接，你有什么好的建议吗？

别扭不？communal

我错了，应该是at the community level

我****1000字，你想说什么，咋中文提纲写的好好的，到这都不一样了？整个一段我都不知道你要表达什么问题，看来看去好像你承认了那鳖三的观点了。

嗯，接受批评，确实有些～～混乱

言论还是事实？

:confused:

好像事实上人们的行为就像是被强制的，然而却不能那么说，因为这么说会怎么怎么样，你简直就是一个天生的独裁者

我不是这个意思啊，是想说那些人说不能左右自己行为只是不想负责的借口并且这样的看法会带来消极和悲观主义

整个论证偏了哦，跟你的提纲完全对不上

唉，看来偶还是没有进步

批的是不是太狠了？多做点机经题吧，我的分类你看得怎么样了？

我虚心接受，并且非常感谢你的批改，我有自己的顽疾，在努力改。我是照飞跃的分类看的，不过这几天也没怎么看，速度、字数、质量都一塌糊涂。急啊～～

还有啊，我是发散思维，写着写着就跑了，估计是散文写多了，而且写中文作文也从不列提纲的，随兴而至，郁闷中～～

eveningboatUID: 157918

最初由 dalloway 发布
[B]我确实承认societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions啊，不是得论述怎么肯定的?.
[/B]

不是这个意思，是直接表达自己的观点，不要管the author了。其实author的前半句是为他自己的后半句服务的。

最初由 dalloway 发布
我确实不知道段落之间如何连接，你有什么好的建议吗？
[/B]

first，secondly，howerver等等，but不适合做段落间的连接词

最初由 dalloway 发布
我不是这个意思啊，是想说那些人说不能左右自己行为只是不想负责的借口并且这样的看法会带来消极和悲观主义
[/B]

这一处写的太多了，看起来倒像最重要的部分了，建议把那个长句拆分，细化，这样论证重点就突出了。

:) 一起加油吧，我比你早考是么？

dallowayUID: 156640

一起加油吧，我比你早考是么？

是的，我也比你多不了几天，都差不多啦

我真是越写越没自信了，愁啊！
还睡不好觉，用药物支撑了
昨天碰到本科时的英语老师，真是惭愧啊，她看好的学生现在被这么个破东东打败了

eveningboatUID: 157918

嘿嘿，我本科还没毕业呢。
别靠药物支撑，那样反而更不好，多吃点土豆。别愁，摆正心态，大不了重新来过。

对了，说到英语老师……嘻嘻，其实我这个人的经历蛮有趣的，在这个版面的gter中，我的E文底子估计是最差的了，等我写机经你就知道为什么了:)

bless

fishergirlUID: 152325

又在外面跑了一天，刚回来，待会回来掐掐你：）

dallowayUID: 156640

to fishergirl
呜呜～～太感谢了
学校的玉兰花开了，特别好看，而且好像就是昨天到今天开的，可惜我都没有赏花的心情了，怎么才能写好这个破issue啊？

to晚舟
老师眼里的好学生只不过是过了六级上了研，其实啊，只有自己心里明白是怎么回事，鸡肋啊！93是机经题，19次

fishergirlUID: 152325

唉，今晚是不行了，明天起来再看，现在看着这些字母都好像在跳舞！！！

最近这几天好没有状态啊，怎么办，就要考了呢~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

呜~~~~~~~~~~~~