14年秋季提纲互改小组-Issue1

dreamNOstopUID: 3555312

王老师，您好；
我看了您的blog，对1+3模式也表示赞同。但是有一点担忧：这样的开头是否足够严谨、全面，因为无论列举多少案例，总不能将所有的情况列举全面。
我考虑这篇ISSUE，开头段是否可以这样写：
The statement tends to build a negative relationship between human’s dependence on technology and their abilities of thinking for themselves. I concede the assertion that people are rely more and more on technology to solve problems（借鉴max940623同学）. However, it is superficial to obtain the conclusion that humans’ abilities of thinking for themselves are deteriorated. On the one hand, the conclusion is not always true, especially when we consider the cases in scientific research areas. On the other hand, even though the conclusion is right, there is no clear relationships between the reliance on technology and the deterioration of humans’ thinking for themselves.
同意题目的原因部分，即人类在解决问题时对科技的依赖的确越来越多
不同意题目的结论：the deteriorate of humans’ thinking for themselves is not always true.
即便结论成立的情况下，原因和结论之间没有必然的因果关系

感谢您的无私奉献。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

it is superficial to obtain不明白你这句的意思
On the one hand, the conclusion is not always true, especially when we consider the cases in scientific research areas. On the other hand, even though the conclusion is right, there is no clear relationships between the reliance on technology and the deterioration of humans’ thinking for themselves.

30分钟的文章不可能面面俱到
不要自己跟自己过不去 写出3个可以成立的分论点就可以了
如果题目要求address challenge 你就address challenge

你这样写会自相矛盾的
even though the conclusion is right 这种否定前面句子的说法是不可取的