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raikkonen36 发表于 2014-10-20 19:37
某种程度上依赖技术解决问题确实会导致人thinking ability 下降
但是更多的是 不会受到影响,甚至有助于 ...
某种程度上依赖技术解决问题确实会导致人thinking ability 下降
但是更多的是 不会受到影响,甚至有助于人们做intellectual work.
第2段说明第一层意思,依赖技术会导致thinking ability 下降。举例人们依赖电脑打字,而不是用手,对于汉字的认识和传统作品的理解力下降,甚至有可能成为technology的slave
第3段 说明依赖技术不会影响,更多的时候人们是用来做工具使用,完成一些人们不太愿意花太多精力去完成的东西,他们的存在只不过是代替人的手, 为人类节省时间,提高效率。
第4段 说明 依赖技术甚至有助于人们做intellectual work. 举哈勃望远镜的例子,帮助人类认识宇宙实在加速。推动人类对宇宙的认识。
Along with increasing reliance on technology to solve problems, an issue whether the thinking ability of humans surly deteriorates naturally invites. However, a widely recognized consensus on this issue has far from been established. Admittedly, to some extent, more dependence on technology causes people’s thinking ability deteriorating. However, in most cases, more reliance on technology does not bring negative influence on people’s thinking ability and even help people do some intellectual work.
首先说一下你的开头,似乎是在用某种模板。但是有几个明显的问题 issue和invite搭配有问题 far from being… 不是been
再来看你的主旨句 似乎在用1+3的模型 但是你的主旨句面临一个无整合立场问题 题目问对科技的依赖会否使人思考能力退化 你说在一定程度上会,但大部分情况不会。这样的观点让人搞不清楚你到底是什么立场。
你的主旨句里要说清楚在什么情况下会,什么情况下不会,你的观点才算是整合的。
比如我说对于搞科技开发的人来说,依赖科技解决问题不会使他们思考能力变弱;对于搞研究的人来说,依赖科技查找文献和与同行交流,不会使他们思考能力变弱;但是对于广大依靠电视获取资讯和娱乐的人来说,他们的思考能力会变弱
虽然在我的观点中也有不同的态度,也是具体情况下命题成立或不成立,但是我说出了具体的情况,后面就比较好展开。
Actually, in some cases, more dependent on technology people are, more evident the tendency that human’s thinking ability is deteriorating will be.你这个句子表达很有问题 起码是the more.., the more… 不明白你为什么要用这种句型 写简单有把握的句子不好吗
For instance, people has increasingly used computer to type words instead of hands. As is well known to all, Chinese character has powerful meaning in its structure. But, as people unduly utilizes screen to type words, they has less chance to rethink the structure of Chinese character, not to mention calligraphy. Following this, the ability of understanding the traditional works and culture will deteriorate, because character is an important carrier of traditional manuscripts. Even worse, some people may reckon that knowing the structure of Chinese character is fundamentally unimportant and they only need to know how to type words on screen, because computer can well cope with relevant affairs. If so, those people thoroughly serve as salves of technology.
这就是我为什么要你先写提纲 不要直接发全文
你这例子完全不行
Nonetheless, in most cases, using technology does not certainty impose negative effect on people’s thinking ability. People consider technology just as tools to accomplish some tasks that they do not incline to pay much attention to, especially burden tasks. Furthermore, not only can improve work efficiency, but also they can devote relatively more time and energy to creative works. For instance, in factories, more and more different types of technologies are used in assembly line. Humans use crane to lift heavy goods out of humans’ reach from one place to other. Reproducing and printing technologies are widely used in office room. In sum, using technology for solving tasks is flooded with in every corner of our society. But, the emergence of such technology is no more than substituting humans’ hands and cannot exert negative effect on human’s thinking ability, and instead, largely increases working efficiency.
题目说的是rely on technology to solve problems 不是accomplish task
Moreover, providing effective instruments, technology can even help people do intellectual work.
For instance, astronomers from the High-z Supernova Search Team and Supernova Cosmology Project used the Hubble Scope Telescope to observe distant supernovae and uncovered evidence that, far from decelerating under the influence of gravity, expansion of the universe may in fact be accelerating. This finding cast doubt on theories about the universe. But, this acceleration was later measured accurately by other ground-based and space-based telescopes, confirming Hubble’s findings. Hubble’s finding further facilitates the people’s understanding on the universe. It is the assistance of such technology as the Hubble Scope Telescope that makes people achieve progress in a wide range of research fields.
这个例子挺好 但是你没有通过这个例子说出 人们的思考能力没有下降
你可以说望远镜提供了更多的数据 挑战和鼓励科学家更深刻的思考 等等
不管举什么例子都要切合题目提出的问题和你要表达的观点
In sum, to some extent, reliance on technology can deteriorate people’s thinking ability. However, in most cases, it is not the case, and even technology can provide assistance for people engaged in intellectual work. |
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