Argument173 （38分钟，感觉不好）

小豚UID: 154964

Argument173  （38分钟，感觉不好）
The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.
'Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers.'

Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on their magazine covers in the arguer's point of view. However, the evidence provided are not persuasive to support the conclusion for several fallacies.

To begin with, the arguer unfairly assumes that the featured international new stories on the front covers should be responsible for the poor sale of their poorest-selling magazine. However, no evidence shows that it is the case. It is highly possible that other factors might lead to the poor sale rather than the international new stories on the front covers. For instance, the articles in the magazines are not enough attractive for readers, also, it is probable that serious problems of issuance exist which make people are quite inconvenient to obtain the magazines.

In addition, the arguer unwarrantedly assumes that it is the decreasing interest of people  in international news lead to competing news-magazines to decrease the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. The arguer does not provide any information about the competing news-magazines, it is highly possible that other factors may have contribute to the action. For example, those competing news magazines do not have that much money to spend on the process of covering international news which will of perhaps cost a large amount of money. In this manner,  the actions of those competing news magazines don't indicate that the international news are not popular any longer. Also, it will probably be a good chance for Newsbeat to occupy a larger market in international news.

Last but not least, we are informed that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing though, it is not a suitable pretense to decrease their emphasis on international news. The arguer does not provide any evidence to show that the cost increase will be sustains , even if it will constantly increase, does not indicate that the Newsbeat have trouble to handle the problem. Largely possible the Newsbeat has great economic strength , the increasing cost for maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news will be not a problem.

To sum up, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more convincing, more information about Newsbeat and its competing news magazines are badly needed. Furthermore, evidence about decreased interest of people in international news should be provided.

小豚UID: 154964

马上去学习happymichelle的那一篇！

小豚UID: 154964

自己UP一下！

小豚UID: 154964

自己改了一下，不知到现在怎么样？
Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on their magazine covers in the arguer's point of view. However, the evidence provided are not persuasive to support the conclusion for several fallacies.

To begin with, the arguer unfairly assumes that the featured international new stories on the front covers should be responsible for the poor sale of their poorest-selling magazine. However, no evidence shows that it is the case. It is highly possible that other factors might lead to the poor sale rather than the international new stories on the front covers. For instance, the contents of the magazine are out of date or out of people’s taste. Also, it is probable that serious problems of issuance exist, which bring to people much inconvenience to buy the magazines. without ruling out all these possible factors that might have impact on the poor sale of the magazine, the arguer’s assumption is quite ungrounded.

In addition, the arguer unwarrantedly assumes that it is the decreasing interest of people in international news leads to competing news-magazines to decrease the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. However, the arguer does not provide any information about the competing news-magazines, it is highly possible that other factors may have contribute to the measures that the competing magazines did. For example, those competing news magazines can not afford the cost in covering international news which might cost a large amount of money, or because they don’t have the strength to maintain their readers in contrast with us .In this manner,  it will probably be a good opportunity for Newsbeat to take over a larger market in international news field..

Last but not least, while we are informed that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing , however, it is not a suitable pretense to decrease their emphasis on international news. No evidence shows that the increasing trend will sustain and our company cannot afford such increase on cost. Largely possible that, the Newsbeat has great economic strength , even if the increase will continue, it will not be a problem to afford it. What is more, the strategy that to decrease emphasis on international news would be an unwise action for the company , since the magazine is just famous for its international news, therefore, to decrease the focus on international news is quite risky to the magazine’s future.

To sum up, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more convincing, more information about Newsbeat and its competing news magazines are badly needed. Furthermore, evidence about decreased interest of people in international news should be provided.

zzdongzaiUID: 137645

（还是觉得这里加上In this argument, the arguer recommends比较好， 不然总觉得好像是自己的观点一样）Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on their magazine covers in the arguer's point of view. However, the evidence provided are not persuasive to support the conclusion for several fallacies.

To begin with, the arguer unfairly assumes that the featured international new stories on the front covers should be responsible for the poor sale of their poorest-selling magazine（poor sale和poorest-selling是否有点重复？）. However, no evidence shows that it is the case. It is highly possible that other factors might lead to the poor sale rather than the international new stories on the front covers（lead to可以这样用吗？我好像没见过，但觉得不顺）. For instance, the contents of the magazine are out of date or out of people’s taste. Also, it is probable that serious problems of issuance exist, which bring to people much inconvenience to buy the magazines. without ruling out all these possible factors that might have impact on the poor sale of the magazine, the arguer’s assumption is quite ungrounded.

In addition, the arguer unwarrantedly assumes that it is the decreasing interest of people in international news leads to competing news-magazines to decrease the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. However, the arguer does not provide any information about the competing news-magazines, it is highly possible that other factors may have contribute to the measures that the competing magazines did. For example, those competing news magazines can not afford the cost in covering international news which might cost a large amount of money, or because they don’t have the strength to maintain their readers in contrast with us .In this manner, it will probably be a good opportunity for Newsbeat to take over a larger market in international news field..

Last but not least, while we are informed that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing , however, it is not a suitable pretense to decrease their emphasis on international news. No evidence shows that the increasing trend will sustain and our company cannot afford such increase on cost. Largely possible （is）that, the Newsbeat has great economic strength , even if the increase will continue, it will not be a problem to afford it. What is more, the strategy that （that好像多余吧？）to decrease emphasis on international news would be an unwise action for the company , since the magazine is just famous for its international news, therefore, to decrease the focus on international news is quite risky to the magazine’s future.

To sum up, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more convincing, more information about Newsbeat and its competing news magazines are badly needed. Furthermore, evidence about decreased interest of people in international news should be provided.

所提均为个人观点，仅供参考
写的很不错，比我强多了，呵呵，我都还不敢来这里呢

小豚UID: 154964

哎，在开头本想有点创新，看来效果不好。谢谢楼上的建议！

kaventUID: 154493

这个题目确定挺经典，我一会帮你细改。

kaventUID: 154493

Newsbeat should decrease their emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on their magazine covers in the arguer's point of view. 这句前后最好调换一下吧However, the evidence provided areis not persuasive to support the conclusion for several fallacies.
开头简单明了，挺好的
To begin with, the arguer unfairly assumes that the featured international new stories on the front covers should be responsible for the poor sale of their poorest-selling magazine. However, no evidence shows that it is the case. It is highly possible that other factors might lead to the poor sale rather than the international new stories on the front covers. For instance, the contents of the magazine are out of date or out of people’s taste. Also, it is probable that serious problems of issuance exist, which bring to people much inconvenience to buy the magazines. without ruling out all these possible factors that might have impact on the poor sale of the magazine, the arguer’s assumption is quite ungrounded.

In addition, the arguer unwarrantedly assumes that it is the decreasing interest of people in international news leads to competing news-magazines to decrease the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. However, the arguer does not provide any information about the competing news-magazines, it is highly possible that other factors may和possible重复了 have contribute时态 to the measures that the competing magazines did. For example, those competing news magazines can not afford the cost in covering international news which might cost a large amount of money, or because they don’t have the strength to maintain their readers in contrast with us .In this manner, it will probably be a good opportunity for Newsbeat to take over a larger market in international news field..

Last but not least, while we are informed that the cost of maintaining their foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing, however, it is not a suitable pretense to decrease their emphasis on international news. No evidence shows that the increasing trend will sustainsustain is vt and our company cannot afford such increase on cost. It isLargely possible that, the Newsbeat has great economic strength, even if the increase will continue, it will not be a problem to afford it. 不是能不能承受，而是能不能获利的问题。What is more, the strategy that to decrease emphasis on international news would be an unwise action for the company , since the magazine is just famous for its international news, therefore, to decrease the focus on international news is quite risky to the magazine’s future.

To sum up, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more convincing, more information about Newsbeat and its competing news magazines are badly needed. Furthermore, evidence about decreased interest of people in international news should be provided.

这篇argu的思路比较清晰，批驳点也基本找准了，妨碍进一步得高分的可能就是两点：一个是论证的时候不太深入，有点泛泛；还有就是语言可以进一步提高，有些表达方式虽然与法没错，但不太地道，句子之间缺乏逻辑性。
总之，还是篇不错的argu，继续努力啊！

小豚UID: 154964

5555555，还是被Kavent说论证不太深入，有点泛泛，哎，这一点我已经尽力了啊！问题在哪呢？？（头疼）。Kavent 说的语言有待提高，这一点不假，我的语言底子还是很薄，（在吸收，提高中）。句子之间缺乏逻辑性，这一点我再去好好分析一下。
谢谢Kavent的中肯建议。