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[备考小组] Argument 68 hospital introduce adopt-a-dog program to help patients [复制链接]

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本帖最后由 zsczsl 于 2015-1-9 13:22 编辑
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68. A recent study reported that pet owners have longer, healthier lives on average than do people who own no pets. Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease. In light of these findings, Sherwood Hospital should form a partnership with Sherwood Animal Shelter to institute an adopt-a-dog program. The program would encourage dog ownership for patients recovering from heart disease, which should reduce these patients' chance of experiencing continuing heart problems and also reduce their need for ongoing treatment. As a further benefit, the publicity about the program would encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter. And that will reduce the incidence of heart disease in the general population.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
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发表于 2015-1-9 21:23:10 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-1-9 23:45 编辑

2 列出argument的结论和主要证据
claim或结论:In light of these findings, Sherwood Hospital should form a partnership with Sherwood Animal Shelter to institute an adopt-a-dog program. The program would encourage dog ownership for patients recovering from heart disease, which should reduce these patients' chance of experiencing continuing heart problems and also reduce their need for ongoing treatment. As a further benefit, the publicity about the program would encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter. And that will reduce the incidence of heart disease in the general population.


证据01 A recent study reported that pet owners have longer, healthier lives on average than do people who own no pets.   
证据02 Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease.

证据应该不止这两条

证据03 The program would encourage dog ownership for patients recovering from heart disease, which should reduce these patients' chance of experiencing continuing heart problems and also reduce their need for ongoing treatment.

证据04 As a further benefit, the publicity about the program would encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter. And that will reduce the incidence of heart disease in the general population.

最终结论 In light of these findings, Sherwood Hospital should form a partnership with Sherwood Animal Shelter to institute an adopt-a-dog program.  




在设计在线互改平台 其中一个模块是由网友上传他们的提纲 在这里演示一下这个流程 你看看怎么样 下次发提纲试下这个流程



抄题(通过系统选题)

写第一段的第一部分不包括主旨句
The author proposes an adopt-a-dog program and predicts that those patients recovering from heart disease will experience fewer heart problems and need less ongoing treatment and more common people will adopt pets from the shelter as well as suffer less heart disease. To buttress her proposal and forecast, she mainly cites the outcomes of a recent study.

写第一段的第二部分-主旨句
Readers need to scrutinize the explicit and implicit postulations of the argument in order to decide whether they should follow the suggestion and believe the conclusion.

中间段一

输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 (系统列出题目的主要句子供选择)
A recent study reported that pet owners have longer, healthier lives on average than do people who own no pets. Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease.
你这段似乎是关注这两句

输入这段要处理的主要assumption
To begin with, the author assume that the pets are the direct reason for longer and healthier lives.

用户写出相关的其他可能性
其实也许恰恰相反,养宠物的人也许普遍比不养宠物的人富裕,因此衣食住行都好,自然活得长。

写出这种可能性的后果
如果是这样 养狗也没用

我觉得你这里似乎只讨论了养狗对健康的一般影响 并没有讨论养狗对心脏病的减低
当然你可以留在后面一段专门讨论心脏病问题


如果还有其他可能性 重复以上两个步骤


以下两段你可否尝试按照上面这个流程重新写一下提纲 下面有我的点评
你接下来的argument提纲可否按这个流程写 如果你对流程有任何问题或意见请提出




中间第二段
ts (pt2): Even if dogs can lower their owners’ incidence of heart disease, the next supposition that the patients recovering from heart disease can benefit from dogs necessitates examination. 报告中说的是养狗者少患心脏病,而作者却建议让康复期中的心脏病人养狗,两者不能混为一谈。就算报告所说属实,作者的假设也不能自动成立。如果已缓心脏病的人养狗要么对心脏病康复无效,要么起反作用,加重心脏病的话,那么作者的建议不可采纳。

上段并没有提心脏病的问题 为什么这里一开头就说Even if dogs can lower their owners’ incidence of heart disease

如果已缓心脏病的人养狗要么对心脏病康复无效,要么起反作用 这里或许可以说得更清晰一些 比如也许心脏病康复者不适宜多运动 以及 之前没有养狗经历的人可能不喜欢狗嫌狗太吵 不利于他们康复等等


中间第三段
ts (pt3): Thirdly, the author presupposes that to publicize the project proposed by her will attract increasing number of people to pet adoption.作者的这一假设缺乏依据,既然宣传中描述的是 让心脏病人来领养狗,而没心脏病的人看了,可能觉得此事与自己无关,就不去领养狗。而且宣传里是说鼓励领养狗,普通人也不大可能会自然而然地联想到领养其他动物。如此一来,作者的预测就不一定准确了。



中间第四段
ts (pt4): Finally, even if the writer can prove that more people are going to adopt pets, her explicit assumption that the general level of the heart disease risk will fall entails examination.报告内容属实的话,养狗者患心脏病的几率的确降低,养狗也不一定是少患心脏病的直接原因。可能是养狗的人本来就饮食健康、作息规律、热爱锻炼,所以作者最好提供一些养狗者与心脏病患者的相关背景资料,以证明自己的假设。倘若养狗真的能减少心脏病的话,作者的预测也不一定有效。因为作者预测普通人会领养更多宠物,而这些宠物不一定都是狗,也许是猫、兔等其它动物。

这段内容好像和前面有重复
或许你按照我上面描述的流程来写提纲会更清楚一些


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板凳
发表于 2015-1-11 03:29:30 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-1-11 22:28 编辑

王老师好,我已经按照您的要求重新写了大纲,还请过目一下,谢谢!

2 列出argument的结论和主要证据
claim或结论:In light of these findings, Sherwood Hospital should form a partnership with Sherwood Animal Shelter to institute an adopt-a-dog program. The program would encourage dog ownership for patients recovering from heart disease, which should reduce these patients' chance of experiencing continuing heart problems and also reduce their need for ongoing treatment. As a further benefit, the publicity about the program would encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter. And that will reduce the incidence of heart disease in the general population.


证据01 A recent study reported that pet owners have longer, healthier lives on average than do people who own no pets.   
证据02 Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease.

汗我在楼上指出证据不止这两条
有些句子属于推理的结果然后继续做新的推论的基础 所以还是算结论


3写第一段
写第一段的第一部分不包括主旨句
The author proposes an adopt-a-dog program and predicts that those patients recovering from heart disease will experience fewer heart problems and need less ongoing treatment and more common people will adopt pets from the shelter as well as suffer less heart disease. To buttress her proposal and forecast, she mainly cites the outcomes of a recent study.

作者是否完整概括主要的证据及结论?是


写第一段的第二部分-主旨句
Readers need to scrutinize the explicit and implicit postulations of the argument in order to decide whether they should follow the suggestion and believe the conclusion.

作者是否准确回应题目?
作者是否概括后面要讨论的内容? 否


4 写出中间段的主题句(英语)用汉语解释主要讨论的点
中间第一段

输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 (系统列出题目的主要句子供选择)
A recent study reported that pet owners have longer, healthier lives on average than do people who own no pets.
输入这段要处理的主要assumption
To begin with, the author assumes that the pets are the direct reason for longer and healthier lives.
写出相关的其他可能性
其实也许恰恰相反,养宠物的人也许普遍比不养宠物的人富裕,因此衣食住行都好,自然活得长。
写出这种可能性的后果
如果是这样,养宠物无益于健康。

作者提出的假设、证据或解释是否恰当?是
作者提出的其他可能性是否恰当?是
作者关于这种可能性的推论是否合理?是


中间第二段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 (系统列出题目的主要句子供选择)
Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease.
输入这段要处理的主要assumption
Furthermore, the author postulates that the dogs can lower their owners’  incidence of heart disease. Even if this is true, the next supposition that the patients recovering from heart disease can benefit from dogs necessitates examination. 报告内容属实的话,养狗者患心脏病的几率的确降低,养狗也不一定是少患心脏病的直接原因。
写出相关的其他可能性
可能是养狗的人本来就饮食健康、作息规律、热爱锻炼,所以作者最好提供一些养狗者与心脏病患者的相关背景资料,以证明自己的假设。
报告中说的是养狗者少患心脏病,而作者却建议让康复期中的心脏病人养狗,两者不能混为一谈。
写出这种可能性的后果
如果已缓心脏病的人养狗要么对心脏病康复无效,要么起反作用,比如也许心脏病康复者不适宜多在养狗一事上操劳,或者之前没有养狗经历的人可能不喜欢狗,嫌狗太吵,这就不利于他们康复,那么作者的建议不可采纳。

作者提出的假设、证据或解释是否恰当?否  在相关文字里作者漏掉了The program would encourage dog ownership for patients recovering from heart disease, which should reduce these patients' chance of experiencing continuing heart problems and also reduce their need for ongoing treatment. 而这里的文字(Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease.)应该和上段的相关文字合在一起讨论


作者提出的其他可能性是否恰当?否
为什么养狗的人本来就饮食健康、作息规律、热爱锻炼? 你说养狗的人可能比较有钱这个可以理解;但养狗的人饮食健康从何说起?

作者关于这种可能性的推论是否合理?否


中间第三段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 (系统列出题目的主要句子供选择)
As a further benefit, the publicity about the program would encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter.
输入这段要处理的主要assumption
Thirdly, the author presupposes that to publicize the project proposed by her will attract increasing number of people to pet adoption.
写出相关的其他可能性
作者的这一假设缺乏依据,既然宣传中描述的是让心脏病人来领养狗,而没心脏病的人看了,可能觉得此事与自己无关,就不去领养狗。而且宣传里是说鼓励领养狗,普通人也不大可能会自然而然地联想到领养其他动物。
写出这种可能性的后果
如此一来,作者的预测就不一定准确了。


作者提出的假设、证据或解释是否恰当?否
这里更重要的假设是publicity一定是正面的 也许病人不喜欢养狗 对这个计划不满 那么就可能有负面的publicity 或者养狗给病人带来健康隐患 导致负面新闻

作者提出的其他可能性是否恰当?否
而且宣传里是说鼓励领养狗,普通人也不大可能会自然而然地联想到领养其他动物。 这里的讨论有点不妥
encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter 这里的pet应该可以理解为dog

作者关于这种可能性的推论是否合理?否

中间第四段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 (系统列出题目的主要句子供选择)
And that will reduce the incidence of heart disease in the general population.
输入这段要处理的主要assumption
Finally, even if the writer can prove that more people are going to adopt pets, her explicit assumption that the general level of the heart disease risk will fall entails examination.
写出相关的其他可能性
因为作者预测普通人会领养更多宠物,而这些宠物不一定都是狗,也许是猫、兔等其它动物。
写出这种可能性的后果
倘若养狗真的能减少心脏病的话,作者的预测也不一定有效。


作者提出的假设、证据或解释是否恰当?否
Finally, even if the writer can prove that more people are going to adopt pets, her explicit assumption that the general level of the heart disease risk will fall entails examination.
我觉得你对什么是assumption理解上还有些问题 不是随便一个claim都能算assumption的
assumption 是原作者在没有证据的情况下认为是对的事情
判断一件事是不是假设 要满足两个条件
第一 原作者认为是对的
第二 原作者没有指明认为是对的理由或证据

而这里general level of the heart disease risk will fall 满足第一个条件但不满足第二个条件
原作者提出这个claim的理由就是 前面的study以及相关的推理

作者提出的其他可能性是否恰当?否
作者关于这种可能性的推论是否合理?否




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地板
发表于 2015-1-12 02:47:30 |只看该作者
王老师好,我已经按照您的指点再次修改了大纲,还请审阅,多谢!

2 列出argument的结论和主要证据
claim或结论:In light of these findings, Sherwood Hospital should form a partnership with Sherwood Animal Shelter to institute an adopt-a-dog program.

证据01 A recent study reported that pet owners have longer, healthier lives on average than do people who own no pets.   
证据02 Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease.
证据03 The program would encourage dog ownership for patients recovering from heart disease, which should reduce these patients' chance of experiencing continuing heart problems and also reduce their need for ongoing treatment.
证据04 As a further benefit, the publicity about the program would encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter. And that will reduce the incidence of heart disease in the general population.

3写第一段
写第一段的第一部分不包括主旨句
The author proposes an adopt-a-dog program and predicts that those patients recovering from heart disease will experience fewer heart problems and need less ongoing treatment and more common people will adopt pets from the shelter as well as suffer less heart disease. To buttress her proposal and forecast, she mainly cites the outcomes of a recent study.

写第一段的第二部分-主旨句
Readers need to scrutinize the explicit and implicit postulations of the argument about the causes of the increased longevity and the lower rate of heart diseases, the similarity between heart disease patients and common people, and the impact of the publicity, in order to decide whether they should follow the suggestion and believe the conclusion.

4 写出中间段的主题句(英语)用汉语解释主要讨论的点
中间第一段

输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 (系统列出题目的主要句子供选择)
A recent study reported that pet owners have longer, healthier lives on average than do people who own no pets. Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease.
输入这段要处理的主要assumption
To begin with, the author assumes that the pets are the direct reason for longer and healthier lives, and the dog will render its owner less likely to suffer from heart disease.
写出相关的其他可能性
其实也许因果关系恰恰相反,养宠物的人也许普遍比不养宠物的人富裕,因此衣食住行都好,自然活得长。 而唯有心脏很健康的人才能容忍狗时不时的吼叫,与狗一起去草坪上蹦跳,长时间溜狗,花时间精力照顾狗的吃喝拉撒等。
写出这种可能性的后果
如果是这样,养宠物无益于健康,养狗反而可能成为之前选择不养狗者的一种负担。

中间第二段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 (系统列出题目的主要句子供选择)
The program would encourage dog ownership for patients recovering from heart disease, which should reduce these patients' chance of experiencing continuing heart problems and also reduce their need for ongoing treatment.
输入这段要处理的主要assumption
Even if dogs can lower their owners’ incidence of heart disease, the next supposition that the patients recovering from heart disease can benefit from dogs just as the normal people necessitates examination.
写出相关的其他可能性
报告中说的是养狗者少患心脏病,而作者却建议让康复期中的心脏病人养狗,两者不能混为一谈。
写出这种可能性的后果
已患心脏病的人养狗可能对心脏病康复无效,还可能起反作用,比如也许心脏病康复者不适宜多在养狗一事上操劳,或者之前没有养狗经历的心脏病人可能不喜欢狗,嫌狗太吵,这就不利于他们康复,那么作者的建议不可采纳。

中间第三段
输入本段重点回应的原题目相关内容 (系统列出题目的主要句子供选择)
As a further benefit, the publicity about the program would encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter.
输入这段要处理的主要assumption
Lastly, the author presupposes that to publicize the project proposed by her will attract increasing number of people to pet adoption.
写出相关的其他可能性
作者的这一假设缺乏依据,虽然宣传中可能描述的是领养狗对身体健康有好处,然而如果有些病人在养狗过程中经历了不愉快,比如说狗到处排泄,他清理这些粪便累个半死,或者有案例说狗突然一声大叫,把患心脏病主人的病给吓得发作了,这些负面反馈可能夹杂在宣传中,使得更少的人养狗了。
写出这种可能性的后果
如此一来,作者的预测就不一定准确了。

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发表于 2015-2-1 17:11:38 |只看该作者
68. A recent study reported that pet owners have longer, healthier lives on average than do people who own no pets. Specifically, dog owners tend to have a lower incidence of heart disease. In light of these findings, Sherwood Hospital should form a partnership with Sherwood Animal Shelter to institute an adopt-a-dog program. The program would encourage dog ownership for patients recovering from heart disease, which should reduce these patients' chance of experiencing continuing heart problems and also reduce their need for ongoing treatment. As a further benefit, the publicity about the program would encourage more people to adopt pets from the shelter. And that will reduce the incidence of heart disease in the general population.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
第一次贴提纲,请王老师指教。
The author suggests that Sherwood Hospital should institute an adop-a-dog program in order to help heart disease patients to recover, reduce need for treatments and encourage public to adopt pets. Howevver, a series assumptions made about relationship between dogs and heart disease, dog's therapeutic effects and public reaction to the program should be further studies in order to evaluate the argument.

1. To begin with, the author assumes that pet owners have longer, healthier lives because of having pets. And the reason for having less heart disease is having dogs. 有可能事实正好相反,因为人们更健康,才可以养宠物,因为养宠物需要花费很多精力,只有身体好的人才能胜任。也有可能有宠物的人更健康是由于养宠物过程中的一些好习惯导致的,不是宠物本身造成的。比如,养狗的人需要每天出去遛狗,适当的户外运动对长期久坐的人有好处,从而更健康。如果养宠物是健康的结果而不是原因的话那么题目的建议起不到期望的作用,甚至会使病人的病情恶化。

2. In addition, the author assumes by adopting dogs, patients with heart disease will recover better, have less problems in the future and need less medical treatments. 论者假设所有心脏病人都有养狗的条件,但有可能有些病人需要住院修养,不能带狗,而且他们的身体状况也不允许照顾宠物。有些病人可能对动物过敏,根本不满足养狗的条件。再者,即使病人可以养狗,狗对病人的恢复的促进作用是如何发生的也没有提及。是通过与狗接触,狗身上的某种生物群能起到治疗作用还是照料狗过程中增加的体力运动促进恢复都无从得知。退一步说即使养狗有疗效,也没有信息表明在多大程度上对病人病情有帮助,能否达到假设的降低未来得病风险和减少治疗需要的程度?如果病人无法跟狗进行有效互动,或者养狗的益处不能达到预期效果的话,执行建议都是没有意义的。

3. Finally, assumption is made that the success of the program will attract more people to adopt and reduce heart disease rate in general. 论者假设人们对养宠物的态度会受到这个项目的影响。但是大众养狗或不养狗通常会有很多其他原因,比如有的人过敏,即使得知养狗能降低心脏病风险也不能养。不能推断这个项目会让多少之前不想养狗的人改变主意。并且,使这个项目有一定影响需要一定程度的宣传,医院或者宠物中心都不太可能花费钱去做类似宣传。有可能项目的结果只有少数人知道,无法达到预期的影响力。

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RE: Argument 68 hospital introduce adopt-a-dog program to help patients [修改]
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