GRE作文句子加油站

KssandraUID: 2766998

First, people can do much better in fields they have talents with, but unlikely to handle fields that are too hard for them.

问题：动词丢了；handle field搭配不当

改正：First, people can do much better in fields they have talents with, but are unlikely to succeed in fields that are too hard for them.

I believe that college student should consider largely their talents and interests when choosing an area or major to study, but can also take the availability of jobs into consideration.

问题：consider largely用法不当

改正：I believe that college student should consider only their talents and interests when choosing a field or major to study, but not availability of jobs in that field.（因为提纲也修改了，所以这里修改了句子的意思）

Regarding the concerns on limited availability of certain fields, there are actually many alternative for students to be well paid for their talents and interests.

问题：alternative应用复数；be well paid for their talents and interests表达有问题；on limited availability of certain fields中间掉词了

改正：Regarding the concerns on limited availability of jobs in certain fields, there are actually many alternatives for students to be well paid for their talents and interests.
不过这里不太确定be well paid for their talents and interests应该怎么改？把interests改成expertise会好一些吗？

I partly disagree with the statement, depends on what kind of laws we are discussing.

改正：Whether the statement holds true or not depends on what kind of laws we are discussing.

sokillerUID: 3446082

Issue20

pt3:

Therefore, if the field of study students choose could help students to acquire more knowledge related to availability of future work, there will be more possibility for students to be hired by employers.

问题：自己YY的句子

改正：the possibility of being hired by employers will be improved.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

sokiller 发表于 2015-5-20 21:40
Issue20

pt3:

这里应该用likelihood 或者chance

sokillerUID: 3446082

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-21 17:18
这里应该用likelihood 或者chance

感谢老师！！

ee_stoneUID: 3573213

来加油啦 。。。

病句１：
The arguer takes it for granted that the larger firm must be more efficient than the little one, and only the full-time employees are reliable to deliver better results.

修改：　
The arguer equals the size of the firm to the level of efficiency, assuming the full-time employees must be more dedicated and reliable than part-time employees.

困难 ：初写时，强烈的中译英模式，修改时不知道有没有　好些？

病句２：

The arguer also assumes the single year's performance in the total revenue and averaged price of the transacted house to be the regular performance of the two firms, which can't stand as it is.

修改　：
The arguer also assumes that the total revenue and averaged price of the transacted house achieved in a single year can represent the regular performance of the two firms, which needs to be validated with more information provided.

问题 ：没理清楚

病句：
Additionally, we need more evidence to prove that the boat
is the only to transport the basket from Palean to Lithos.

修改：
Additionally, we need more evidence to prove that the boat
is the only way to transport the basket from Palean to Lithos.

问题：写太快了，笔误

病句：
Take the U.S. federal art project as an example, 断句the government funding supported many artists to go through the Depression in 1930s and more importantly encouraged more works of creation with enough financial support.

修改：
Take the U.S. federal art project as an example.

病句：
During that economy recession,  there hardly existed the market for pieces of arts even created by eminent artists.

修改：
During the great recession, there hardly existed the market for pieces of arts even created by eminent artists.

问题：词语搭配

qbuUID: 3612188

订正句子
原句
According to the argument, Promofoods tuna cans has been tested as healthy although various complaints. However, there are several questions still need to answered to make such conclusion.
订正
According to the argument, Promofoods tuna cans have been tested as healthy although various complaints from consumers. However, there are several questions still need to be answered to evaluate such question.  

原因 审题不清楚要多审题

sokillerUID: 3446082

issue 10

1.
病句：Moreover in more developed nations, even if passing the policy can be achieved, certain adjustment should be given.
改后：Moreover, a modified policy for protecting wilderness area is suitable for developed nations to adopt.
原因：自己YY表达；

2.
病句：When people entered into industry revolution, the pace of that reduction was doubled.
改后：During the industry revolution, the pace of that reduction was doubled.
原因：自己YY表达；

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ee_stone 发表于 2015-5-21 23:44
来加油啦 。。。

病句１：

第一句的问题可能是take for granted这个表达不太合适
这里不是视作理所当然的 而是假设 视作理所当然后面跟的内容必须是成立的才行
比如 We take our parents' love for granted

另外修改版本里equal应该是equate  

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ClaretZ 发表于 2015-5-16 18:16
不明觉弱，思过思过！敢不思过，当心再错！
1、原句： In primary education, competing for high grades  ...

4、原句：During the pursuit of high grades, college students, intending to better themselves individually, prefer to study on their own with no communication with others, so that competition among them may prevent them from cooperating with each other.
    修改： During the pursuit of high grades, college students, wanting to better themselves individually, prefer to study on their own with no communication with others, which prevents them from cooperating with each other.

这里的主要问题是 很少有人会用ing的形式作为插入语  

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

句子加油站以更新问题分类
接下来的点评会按照这个框架开展

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

这个帖子周末会火起来

KssandraUID: 2766998

Without such evidence, we cannot decide if the traffic in Waymarsh has really been deteriorated over the three years or need immediate attention.

错误：deteriorate不应该用被动语态

改正：
Without such evidence, we cannot decide if the traffic in Waymarsh has really deteriorated over the three years or need immediate attention.

In addition, we need to collect more information supporting the claim that the policy was really effective in improving traffic and decreasing pollution in Garville; and how a similar policy will affect people’s behaviors in Waymarsh.

问题：并列关系不合适

改正：In addition, we need to collect more information supporting the claim that the policy was really effective in improving traffic and decreasing pollution in Garville, and Garville's success can be transferred to Waymarsh.

Furthermore, it is possible that the road conditions are really bad and the road system is not efficient in Waymarsh, so people can only drive slowly and drive further than they really need to commute, thus spent more time.

问题：长且费解

改正：
Furthermore, it is possible that the road conditions are really bad, or the roads are still not enough even when people pool car.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Kssandra 发表于 2015-5-29 10:32
错误：deteriorate不应该用被动语态

改正：

难道只有这一句话要订正么？

KssandraUID: 2766998

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-29 15:25
难道只有这一句话要订正么？

语法错误是那个；又加入了两个写得费解的句子（改动比较大）

KssandraUID: 2766998

来改一周之前的句子..

To begin with, such a policy will result in huge financial burden on the government to offer free education for the students, especially for those ones who attend private school.
重复啰嗦
改正：To begin with, such a policy will result in huge financial burden on the government, especially for those ones who attend private school.

It’s over $10,000 to support a student to finish for most public schools and sometime over $20,000 to support a private school student.

表意不清
改正：It costs the government over $10,000 to support a student to attend most public schools and sometime over $20,000 to support a private school student.

Government never has enough budget, and know the funds that could be otherwise used to support other equally important things need to be used to support education.

前半部分搭配不当；now打成know了。。。（我好像经常犯这个错误以至于有时候自己都看不出来）
改正：The government seldom gets enough money to cover everything that needs to be covered. Now with the new policy, funds that could have been otherwise used to support other equally important things need also to be used on education.

In addition, free college education will offer little, if at all, incentive for students to do perform well in university.

不该有do...好像一开始想写do well，觉得low，就改成了perform well，又没有把do删掉
改正：
In addition, free college education will offer little, if at all, incentive for students to perform well in university.

Finely, since this policy only benefits colleges and universities, it may take resources that could have been used to help other people who may not go to the university, but choose for example vocational schools after secondary school.

finally写成了奇怪的东西；for example用法不当
改正：Finally, since this policy only benefits colleges and universities, it may take away resources that could have been used to help other people who may not go to the university, but choose vocational schools after secondary school. 直接删掉好了，好像也没有什么其他的example