GRE作文句子加油站

jason-mrazUID: 3177106

Although certain developed countries have provided the tuition waiver for all of students who are enrolled by the university, such as Germany and some North European countries. However, for the developing country, especially the countries in Africa, the expense counts a lot.

错误之处：这句话竟然只有从句没有主句
原因：对于Although与however的用法不熟悉，

改正
Indeed, there are certain developed countries provide the tuition waiver for all of students who are enrolled by the university, such as Germany and some North European countries.
这个句子里有一个经典的there be错误 https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=1#pid1779474113




the expense counts a lot 这句话语法没错 但是意思不太对 说X counts a lot是指某样东西很重要 这里不是说开支重要 而是说 it may be difficult for them to find the financial resources required to pay tuition for all college students  

这个问题就不是语法本身的问题 而是你要想清楚要表达什么  

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Indeed, certain developed countries do provide the tuition waiver for all of students who are enrolled by the university, such as Germany and some North European countries. Nevertheless, it is hard  for the developing countries to appropriate such a huge expense on education.


恩，查阅的老师讲解，发现自己对很多英文表达的理解还非常生疏和浅薄，导致很多不地道的表达出现，还是应该实打实把基础打好，用好会用的。

jason-mrazUID: 3177106

1.
Though, in long run, I argue, the expense is necessary and can bring more benefits rather than the adverse effect, even if it may impede the short term development.

错误：I argue, 这后面必须跟从句 而且不会有逗号
错因：对I argue用法不熟悉就开始瞎写。（老师真是一阵见血，确实有很多句子我都是自己YY，凭着自己的理解就往上写，导致很多啼笑皆非的错误）

改正：Although in short term these educational costs may be not favored by the government, it still necessary and essential for a sustained development in long run.

这里cost be favored搭配还是不对  

Although the government may not be willing to pay for college tuition for all in the short term, it is ... for sustainable development in the long run.  

当然改到这里就已经不再是句子层面的问题而是要结合上下文来考虑这句话要表达的意思是否合适 这就超出了句子加油站的关注范围

jason-mrazUID: 3177106

原句：Nowadays, some developing countries still focus on the low level industry, which need only the number rather than the quality of the people. However, when it comes to the next level of development, the country must need the up-level the industrial system, which requires the human resource with higher education and quality.

错误：Low level industry？
need the up-level the industrial system？
错因：英文地道表达的缺乏，想当然拼凑一些词汇，最后便成了Chinglish.

Nowadays, some developing countries still focus on the low-end industry, an industry needs the number rather than the quality of the people. This development pattern may work at the beginning of their development, yet when it comes to next level, the shortness of human resource with higher education may prevent them from futher development. It is because an advanced development entails the prospect of upgraded industries such as the IT，the finance, which require people with professional knowledge rather than labors who are only competent in repeating and laborious work.

KssandraUID: 2766998

原句：
Whether the statement holds true is largely depends on what kind of authority we are discussing.

错误：动词重复

改正：
Whether the statement holds true depends largely on what kind of authority we are discussing.


第一句话就写错了。。。突然想起我的某一篇PS里面也是第一句话就出了主谓不一致的错误，还自己proofread好几次的= =

KssandraUID: 2766998

Kssandra 发表于 2015-5-15 10:06
刚突然找不到这个贴了，原来换名字了。。。

原句：

嗯，problem和require之间有问题，您不说我还没发现，自己再读一次就觉得是很奇怪了！

我承认这两天发帖子都是直接在回复框里面打的= =会从明天开始写全文，练习每次留出检查改正的时间，争取考试的时候不要出现这种原生态的句子！

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

无敌浩克One 发表于 2015-5-15 09:26
The author states the traditional way of heating displaying the first underlined assumption [that is ...

你的原句在哪里 这个修改后的句子还是有问题 见我14楼的编辑

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

锤先森G330 发表于 2015-5-11 18:22
我也来反省下上次作文的第一段：
With the development of the society, the number of available lands i ...

这里make transformation和have new value 表达都不太合适 你需要再考虑一下  
你可以直接说transform the building或者renovate the building

无敌浩克OneUID: 3605802

The author states the traditional way of heating displaying the first underlined assumption [that most homes won’t change their custom of using oil to heat their homes.]是assumption的同位语从句。
我想表达的意思：作者叙述加热的传统方法表达了他的第一个假设：大多数家庭都不会改变加热房子的方法。
不知道应该用什么动词来表示：”表达“这个含义？
然后还想麻烦请老师能直接指出句子的问题，我要是知道我就不会写错了哈

什么叫做叙述加热的传统方法  我怎么就不懂呢  难道是我汉语退化了  
display不能和assumption搭配

When the author ..., the underlying assumption is that ...
你可以去看看范文里提出假设的例句  

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

jason-mraz 发表于 2015-5-15 20:41
原句：Nowadays, some developing countries still focus on the low level industry, which need only the ...

感谢你参加句子修改的活动 在你修改的句子我又发现了新的语法错误 建议你每次只改一个句子 不要同时改一段话  

ClaretZUID: 3567572

不明觉弱，思过思过！敢不思过，当心再错！
1、原句： In primary education, competing for high grades limits the quality of education because it will decrease children’s interest in study and their creativity, which serve as the two most dispensable characters that should be cultivated in primary education.
    修正：  In primary education, competing for high grades limits the quality of education because it will decrease children’s interest in study and their creativity, which are the two most dispensable characters that should be cultivated in primary education.

2、原句：Researchers own this result to competition for high grades in Chinese primary level of education.
    修正：Researchers attribute the result to competition for high grades in Chinese primary level of education.

3、原句：Since college education is the last time period before students enter into society, it is essentially emphasized that the main goals of college education is to cultivate students’ ability in cooperation and exploration.
    修改： Since college education is the last period before students entering into society, it is essentially emphasized that the main goals of college education is to cultivate students’ ability in cooperation and exploration.

4、原句：During the pursuit of high grades, college students, intending to better themselves individually, prefer to study on their own with no communication with others, so that competition among them may prevent them from cooperating with each other.
    修改： During the pursuit of high grades, college students, wanting to better themselves individually, prefer to study on their own with no communication with others, which prevents them from cooperating with each other.

5、原句：High school education serving as the previous period of college education, the main goal of the education period is to study diligently and industriously, aiming at basing the solid knowledge foundation.
    修改：As high school education is the period before college education, the main goal of high school students is to study diligently and industriously, aiming at building the solid knowledge foundation.

6、原句：What is more, since the economic subject studies the activity and decision of people, students whose major is economic should also be obliged to take some psychology class, so that they can be more familiar with the human nature and be equipped with the ability to think differently and creatively when faced with economic problems.
    修改：since the economic study focuses on the activity of people

7、原句：Illustrating finance students as an example, while the stock price can be influenced by many factors such as the weather, the productivity of iron and the change of a company’s board of directors, the students should have the basic knowledge about how the influence can be put on the stock price by the seemingly unrelated factors. 断句也有问题
    修改：Taking finance students as an example, while the stock price can be influenced by many factors such as the weather, the students should have the basic knowledge about how the influence can be put on the stock price by the seemingly unrelated factors.

8、原句：The students study in computer science can accomplish their work successfully with their professional knowledge and skills in computer, the students studying in electrical and electronics engineering can solve the problems during their work with the knowledge they have learned in their professional classes and the skills gained in laboratory.  这句要用分号
    修改：The students study in computer science can accomplish their work successfully with their professional knowledge and skills in computer,and the students studying in electrical and electronics engineering can solve the problems during their work with the knowledge they have learned in their professional classes and the skills gained in laboratory.
    问题：英语中有分号吗？

9、原句：It will also be more convenient to test the applying students before they can be admitted as long as the test is based on the knowledge the students have learned in high schools.
    修改： It will also be more convenient to test the applicants before they can be admitted as long as the test is based on the knowledge the students have learned in high schools.

10、原句：A number of questions about what decreased the profits in the Classical Shakespeare Theatre, did the "Free Plays in the Park" program really cause the increase in profits of Avon Repertory Company, and whether the success of "Free Plays in the Park" program can be replicated are needed to be answered if we are to assess the recommendation.
     修改：A number of questions have to be answered if we are to assess the recommendation: what decreased the profits in the Classical Shakespeare Theatre? Did the "Free Plays in the Park" program really cause the increase in profits of Avon Repertory Company? Whether the success of "Free Plays in the Park" program can be replicated?

11、原句： To begin with, the first question needed to be investigated is what decreased the profits in the Classical Shakespeare Theatre.
      修改： To begin with, the first question needed to be investigated is whether the significant decrease in profit is mainly a result of the reduction in audience size.

12、原句： Also, did the dramas or operas played in the theatre were attracting enough?
      修改：Also, were the dramas or operas performed in the theatre attracting enough?

13、原句： Additionally, the question that "Free Plays in the Park" program really has caused the increase in profits of Avon Repertory Company should be answered.
      修改：  Additionally, we need to ask if the "free Plays in the park" program really helped Avon Repertory to increase profits.

14、 原句：As two years has passed away
       修改：As two years have passed away

jason-mrazUID: 3177106

It is true that the tuition expense is a huge burden for some governments, which may hinder them from addressing the urgent problems.

错误：hinder them from 的表达
错因：对hinder用法不熟悉，能用熟词绝不用生词！

It is true that the tuition expense is a huge burden for some governments, which may prevent them from addressing the urgent problems.


Though, it is hard for the developing countries to appropriate such a huge expense on education, since a lot of basic living problems are left to be addressed, such as the poverty, the health care, the economic development.

错因：对Though 用法的不熟悉

Nevertheless, it is hard for the developing countries to appropriate such a huge expense on education, since a lot of problems of basic livelihood are left to be addressed, such as the poverty, the health care, the economic development.


Thus, it seems unreasonable for a developing country to burden the huge expense on paying the tuition for the students.

错因：没有深入理解burden

Thus, it seems unreasonable for a developing country to shoulder the burden of paying the tuition for all the students.


Though, a sustainable development requires this support on education, whose benefits will demonstrate in the long run.

错因：对demonstrate 用法的不熟悉，而whose显然应该指代人！！！

Though, a sustainable development requires this support on education, benefits of which will turn out in the long run.

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

issue 8/111/149 相关内容修改  2015/5/18
第一段：
原句：
However, I hold the view that this proposal works for the politic field（这里本来想说政治领域）, while not benefit the business and science field, because the leadership in science and business always require a relatively long time period to construct reputation or accumulate experience.
修改：
However, I hold the view that this proposal works for the leader that in the politic field, while it is not beneficial for the leader that in science and business field, because the leader in science and business always require a relatively long time period to construct reputation or accumulate experience.
**说明**：* 第一处本来想指代政治领域，现在改成人吧可能更好些，*第二处leadership 和leader 的区别平常的学习没有注意到，leader才指具体的人。

TS1:
原句：
Constructing consumer’s reputation in work is indispensable for people work in business. In other words, long time period is needed for a qualified leadership to construct their own fame. Consequently, it is a big lost for any company to lose a qualified leadership, as the company may have to spend a lot of money to cultivate such a person with good reputation.
修改：
Constructing consumer reputation in work is indispensable for people work in business. In other words, long time period is needed for a qualified leader to construct their own fame. Consequently, it is a big loss for any company to lose a qualified leadership, as the company may have to spend a lot of money cultivating such a person with good reputation.
**说明**：*第一处想表达：建立在消费者之间的信誉；*第二处：loss和lost没分清楚；*第三处：spend money doing sth.十分不该错

sokillerUID: 3446082

Issue20

pt3:

In addition to interest and talent, availability of jobs is also an important factor that students should take into consideration as they choose field to study in college.  For one thing, for the students who do not have too much talent and interest in research of certain field and only want a job after graduation, whether the field of study they intend to choose is related to availability of jobs is significant. In general, the employer prefers hiring people who has necessary ability to finish the certain job properly, and whether people has that ability is determined by whether the field of study they choose can provide relevant knowledge for students to study. Therefore, if the field of study students choose could help students to acquire more knowledge related to availability of future work, there will be more possibility for students to be hired by employers.

错误1:
In general, the employer prefers hiring people who has necessary ability to finish the certain job properly
改正1:
In general, the employer prefers hiring people who have ability of finishing given jobs perfectly and this ability can be obtained by college students only through learning the knowledge related to given jobs.
问题：根本就没有想清楚自己要怎样表达。

错误2:
more
改正2:
去掉。
问题：一个完全多余的修饰。

错误3：
related to availability of future work；
改正3：
删掉
问题：胡乱凑字数。。。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

sokiller 发表于 2015-5-19 21:30
Issue20

pt3:

这个是我指出的错误么
there will be more possibility 这个表达不对

sokillerUID: 3446082

tesolchina 发表于 2015-5-19 22:02
这个是我指出的错误么
there will be more possibility 这个表达不对

不是 是我自查的 哎 漏网了一个。。。