Candyisthebest作文练习帖

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

issue 59

Scientists and other researchers should focus their research on areas that are likely to benefit the greatest number of people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.


想出基本的思路用时4min。

第一段及中间三段的主题句的写作用时 11min，(⊙﹏⊙)汗！！！我觉得是自己第一段背景交代时间太长了，不过我觉得背景交代很有必要啊，不然第一段就直接成三个论点的堆砌了！
谁能帮看看第一段背景交代应该怎么缩减一下？？

汉语补充说明中间段，这个具体时间没记，感觉例子还是很好举的！


我想问一下正文段举例过后，最后一句如何回应本段论点？？

句子	动作分析	内容点评	句子点评
As we know, the resources, such as money, researcher’s time and energy, are always limited.	交代背景
It goes without denying that everybody wants to make full use of the resources in order to make the greatest contribution to the world. However, the problem is, the interests of majority and the minority people are sometimes at odds, so how to distribute these resources, namely should scientists and other researchers focus more on fields that benefit the majority or the minority, becomes a ticklish problem.	指出存在的问题，过渡到题目上去	很简单 你就说 Given the scarcity of resources, researchers and scientists have to decide what projects to focus on in their careers.
Some people may argue that researchers should favor the greatest number of people because it is more effective and the outcome is more significant.	提示TS1	意思不符合题目	favor the greatest number of people 搭配
Yet, in my opinion, under no circumstances can we neglect the needs of the minority, for the reason that, only by conducting programs and researches on them can we learn from history and affirm our vow of “every people are created equal.”	提示TS2和TS3，问题是这样总结成后两个正文段内容会不会太少了？	learn from history？ 不太明白你的意思
Some people maintain the idea that the greatest number of the people should gain more favor because once research findings are put into practice, it actually benefits the majority of nation.	TS1，说别人的观点	这是你的中间第一段的主题句么？ 好像没有和主旨句呼应？ 汗 你怎么连这么基本的呼应都做不到？   谁让你那一整段出来写别人的观点啦？ 上个星期白练了
For instance, an eminent British medical scientist, was given a chance to work for the royal family but he refused because what he wanted to do was to find out the disease that killed lots of British people at that time. After months of assiduous investigation, he figured out the reason and produced medicine to cure the deadly disease.	（没记错的话是初中英语课本的例子，不知道有没有童鞋记得，把主人公名字告诉我一下啊啊啊~~）	这个例子相当不靠谱 因为并不是在不同科研项目之间的选择
Due to his effort, hundreds of thousands of lives were saved and the Great Britain was bouncing again.	最后一句怎样回应到主题上去？
Nevertheless, I believe that, researchers on small groups of people are also worthwhile in order to truly develop into a better nation.	TS2
Take the research on African American as a case in point. Why do researchers look into their history since the slavery has been abandoned for many years? By reviewing the minority group in the past, we can gain valuable fruits that may be applied to today’s world, to be more specific, through constantly reminder of terrible treatment we did to African Americans, we can avoid race discrimination nowadays.	举例： research on African American，研究他们悲惨的被奴役历史，对现代社会有启迪作用。
In addition, another reason why I think the minority should be allocated the same research by scientists is that, we are not supposed to deprive their rights of getting better.	TS3
I can think of no better example than ALS, the reason why the activity ALS Ice Bucket Challenge has spread to the whole world is, medicine companies are reluctant to pay for the huge amount of money to develop the cure. That is to say, these companies let the patients with rare diseases die, which is a kind of validation of the Declaration of Independence, they put these people to death because they are the minority so selling them the medicine is not lucrative.	举例：ALS等罕见病，医药公司不应该因为他们是少数人的得病就不投入经费研发制药，没有解药就是置他们于死地、剥夺了他们生存的权利，有违独立宣言 “人人平等”的精神。
Taking all analysis made above, it is safe to arrive at the conclusion that although the if we invest research on areas that benefit the greatest number of people, the result is very significant, we can never undervalue the value of the minority because by conducting research on them, we are able to learn from the past and achieve social justice.	总结三个观点

compendium：

As we know, the resources, such as money,, researcher’s time and energy, are always limited. It goes without denying that everybody wants to make full use of the resources in order to make the greatest contribution to the world. However, the problem is, the interests of majority and the minority people are sometimes at odds, so how to distribute these resources, namely should scientists and other researchers focus more on fields that benefit the majority or the minority, becomes a ticklish problem. Some people may argue that researchers should favor the greatest number of people because it is more effective and the outcome is more significant. Yet, in my opinion, under no circumstances can we neglect the needs of the minority, for the reason that, only by conducting programs and researches on them can we learn from history and affirm our vow of “every people are created equal.”

Some people maintain the idea that the greatest number of the people should gain more favor because once research findings are put into practice, it actually benefits the majority of nation.


Nevertheless, I believe that, researchers on small groups of people are also worthwhile in order to truly develop into a better nation.
举例： research on African American，研究他们悲惨的被奴役历史，对现代社会有启迪作用。

In addition, another reason why I think the minority should be allocated the same research by scientists is that, we are not supposed to deprive their rights of getting better.
举例：ALS等罕见病，埃博拉（Ebola，后来查的）等，医药公司不应该因为他们是少数人的得病就不投入经费研发制药，没有解药就是置他们于死地、剥夺了他们生存的权利，有违独立宣言（the Declaration of Independence，后来查的）“人人平等”的精神。












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fishgoUID: 3607599

Candyisthebest 发表于 2015-6-10 18:33
issue 34 49/76/79/146

34) In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who havecon ...

迟来的点评~
首先觉得你写的真的是好多字啊，感觉上600了吧，貌似新G不用写那么多字的，例子写的很详细，不过最好加一些解释例子的句子，就是联系主题解释一下例子。第三个点，讨论宗教的，感觉有点牵强哈，个人看法，我觉得试试老师的分类比较好写一点~

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

35) The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.

52) The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment building to its manager.
One month ago, all the showerheads on the first five floors of Sunnyside Towers were modified to restrict the water flow to approximately one-third of its original flow. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. Clearly, restricting water flow throughout all the twenty floors of Sunnyside Towers will increase our profits further.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


128) The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. Clearly, modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits further.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

129) The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.

Last week, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. Clearly, modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits further.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

选题 argu 129


用时30min

句子	动作分析	内容点评	句子点评
According to the passage, the author thinks that by restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be can save money for the company. However, in order to evaluate the statement, several questions have to be answered.	重复作者结论，提出质疑		by restricting evaluate the argument
Firstly, we do not know the actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment so we cannot jump into the conclusion that the adjustment works.	攻击点1		断句
If the adjustment does not change actual readings of water usage at all, all the statements in the following passage are groundless.	举反例		statement 选词
The data mentioned here are needed.	需要作者补充数据	这句话要回应题目- ask questions
Even if the adjustment does make a difference, the change does not necessarily lead to a considerable savings.	攻击点2		adjustment- modification
It is entirely likely that, the consumers realize that the water flow is smaller so they spend more time using the water so the total usage of water may be even larger than before.	举反例		断句
Then it does not save money for the company.	回到攻击点
The manager assumes that there are a few complains about the low water pressure and no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment so the consumers can put up with modification.	攻击点3，指出假设	没有回应题目的要求 ask questions	断句
However, the manager fails to take into account the situation that if their customers complain about the change to their families and friends and ask them not to live in the apartments anymore, it indicates that they are, on the contrary, upset about the change.	举反例		断句
Finally, the manager thinks that the low water flow accounts for the low cost so the profit will be increased.	攻击点4（或者说这不是一个单独的点，是总结了一下2和3，得出的4）	结论段没必要写这么多 一句话就搞定	断句
Yet, the cost may not be cut down for the reason that consumers use water for a longer time, the total money the company has to pay for water may be greater.	内容重复攻击点2，不 save money	你为什么要重复 这是你的结论段么
The earnings may be lower too because less people are willing to live in their apartments in that the potential customers hear much complaints about the water flow from their families and friends.	内容重复攻击点3，没人来hotel，low income
With high cost and low income, the profit may not increase as the manager assumes.	回到攻击点4

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CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

57) Themain benefit of the study of history is to dispel the illusion that peopleliving now are significantly different from people who lived in earlier times.
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. Indeveloping and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which thestatement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerationsshape your position.


74)Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. Indeveloping and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which thestatement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerationsshape your position.

133)Claim: Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisionstoday.
Reason:The world today is significantly more complex than it was even in therelatively recent past.
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with theclaim and the reason on which that claim is based.

134) Claim: Knowing about the past cannot helppeople to make important decisions today.
Reason:We are not able to make connections between current events and past eventsuntil we have some distance from both.
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

我写的是 ISSUE 134

脑子里面构思3min左右

提纲加中文例子30min。。。。汗呃。。。

句子	动作分析	内容点评	句子点评
I disagree with the idea that knowing the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.	表达观点。如何处理claim和reason的关系？我在文中只写了反对claim，如何在文中体现reason？
On the contrary, we should always learn from history in order to make sensible decisions. I would like to illustrate my point of view in politics, science and economics fields.	引出三个观点。是不是太笼统了，要具体说每一个领域支持的观点？	这三个都是学科领域 这道题的重点是make important decisions  也许你可以用一段来讲科研中做决定可以从过去中学习 但是三段都讲不同学科 我觉得不合适
When it comes to politics, looking into the past is a must if we want to avoid serious disasters.	TS1
举例：（反例）纳粹没有吸取一战的教训，发动二战；（正例）二战后人们吸取经验确定世界主题是和平与发展		这个点看起来有道理 但是结合题目展开会有困难 关键是你这里的decision是什么 似乎看不到你在讨论具体的决定
As far as science is concerned, it is both time and energy-saving to learn from the past.	TS2	decision完全不见了
举例：爱迪生试验了几千种灯芯（wick）材料，现在人们要改进直接在他的基础上就可以了，不用再自己亲自去尝试几千种材料，提高了效率。
In addition, in economics world, so as to gain sustainable profit, analyzing past economical phenomena is a must.	TS3
举例：（反例）the great depression爆发以后，人们还是一味追求自己利益，然后爆发2008 global economic crisis（正例）2008经济危机以后，美联储（FED）加强监管，现在经济运行平稳。		decision在哪里？
To sum it up, knowledge from the past is a treasurable legacy for us, to some extent, we can always benefit from learning from the past.	重复主题
Politicians should know the past in order to forestall similar mistakes that have already happened in history. So do scientists, they should fully utilize previous inventions and results as tools to explore the brand-new world. As for economics, they are supposed to make connections between the past and the present, study the trend of economics and then maintain the growth of economics in the long run.	回到三个TS(全文三个领域都是支持的，会不会削弱了文章的复杂性？)

范文：
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=redirect&goto=findpost&ptid=1777232&pid=1779092915&fromuid=3626719

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=redirect&goto=findpost&ptid=1777232&pid=1778915992&fromuid=3626719

fishgoUID: 3607599

Candyisthebest 发表于 2015-6-25 19:17
57) Themain benefit of the study of history is to dispel the illusion that peopleliving now are  ...

我来点评啦~
首先，针对你的关于文中体现reason的疑问，我有一个想法，可以在中间段的例子的解释里面提出
然后那句引出三个观点的开头我觉得可以吧，不需要把每个主题句都写上来，我主要从节约时间上考虑的
还有我觉得你的结尾句好长好长。。。但是没有呼应题目那句话
还有一个问题，在每个领域，除了科学讲了，其他两个似乎没有讲清楚是怎样通过过去的事情帮助当下做决定的，应该在细化一下~

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

fishgo 发表于 2015-6-25 20:31
我来点评啦~
首先，针对你的关于文中体现reason的疑问，我有一个想法，可以在中间段的例子的解释里面提出 ...

你也看出来了吧 不回应decision-making

fishgoUID: 3607599

tesolchina 发表于 2015-6-25 22:49
你也看出来了吧 不回应decision-making

是啊，自己写就比较容易忽略，看别人作文时就思维能清晰一点

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3626719

一战感想~

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

57) Themain benefit of the study of history is to dispel the illusion that peopleliving now are significantly different from people who lived in earlier times.
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. Indeveloping and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which thestatement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerationsshape your position.


74)Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. Indeveloping and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which thestatement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerationsshape your position.

133)Claim: Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisionstoday.
Reason:The world today is significantly more complex than it was even in therelatively recent past.
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with theclaim and the reason on which that claim is based.

134) Claim: Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.
Reason:We are not able to make connections between current events and past eventsuntil we have some distance from both.
Write aresponse in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree withthe claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

我写的是 ISSUE 134

提纲日期：6/25 地址：（19楼） https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 834&fromuid=3626719

修改后全文日期：7/6

全文还是保留了提纲的三个领域，中文提纲没有扣住decision来写，现在全文来回复老师内容反馈帖~   内容反馈汇总之一：回应题目关键词和遵循写作指引

https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1854410&fromuid=3626719

自己的思考和总结：写提纲的时候只想着learn from the past,忽略了题目的后部分make decision，对题目的理解出现了偏差，没有提炼全题目的关键词。

句子	动作分析	内容点评	句子点评
I disagree with the idea that knowing the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.	表达观点。如何处理claim和reason的关系？我在文中只写了反对claim，如何在文中体现reason？请老师解答~~
On the contrary, we should always learn from history in order to make sensible decisions. I would like to illustrate my point of view in politics, science and economics fields.	引出三个观点。是不是太笼统了，要在第一段具体说每一个领域支持的观点？
When it comes to politics, looking into the past is a must when the government makes policies.	TS1
For example, after the First World War, Germany did not learn from the failure of the war, they still made domestic policies that worsened the situation, in the end, they triggered the Second World War. It was only after the Second World War that Germany realized the theme of the world is peace and development so they made peaceful diplomacies.	decision: 德国政府出台和平的外交政策。想问一下老师，写政治类的例子我经常没有办法说出法案的具体名字（比如Patriot Act），只能说法案大概内容（比如the bill that expanded the surveillance powers of U.S. law enforcement agencies）这样处理可不可以?我的另一篇习作（板凳楼）也出现了同样的问题，请老师解答~~
As far as science is concerned, it is both time and energy-saving to learn from the past.	TS2
I can think of no better example of the best choice of the wick. As is known to all, Edison conducted hundreds of thousands of experiments to choose the most suitable wick. If we want to improve the material of wick further, we can work on Edison findings rather than start over, which actually increases efficiency.	decision：选灯丝材料。
In addition, in economics world, so as to gain sustainable profit, we are supposed to analyze past economical phenomena.	TS3
We all remember the global economic crisis in 2008. In order to avoid crisis like this, the FED made decisions to strengthen the rules and regulations concerning economic, . Nowadays economic runs smooth so the supervision of economics turns out to be useful.	decision:美联储决定加强经济监管。
To sum it up, knowledge from the past is a treasurable legacy for us, to some extent, we can always benefit from learning from the past.	重复主题
Politicians should know the past in order to forestall similar mistakes that have already happened in history. So do scientists, they should fully utilize previous inventions and results as tools to explore the brand-new world. As for economics, they are supposed to make connections between the past and the present, study the trend of economics and then maintain the growth of economics in the long run.	回到三个TS(全文三个领域都是支持的，会不会削弱了文章的复杂性？)

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

你下次什么时候考？

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.



Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.



As we read newspapers, search online or watch TV, all kinds of scandals inevitably catch our attention. Facing the huge amount of scandals every day, I hold the opinion that not all scandals are useful to us owning to the vague definition of “useful”. In entertainment business, the majority of scandals are useless for the reason that they waste our time on trifles. Yet in another realm, such as politics, scandals play a significant role in defending justice. Nevertheless, under no circumstances shall we overstate the value of scandals since the ultimate way to uphold social equality is optimizing legal system.

As far as entertainment is concerned, scandals attract people’s attention on meaningless stuff rather than serious issues. For example, CNN news inserted a piece of ” breaking news” about the arrestment of Justin Bibber into a solemn live court trial. Judging from this instance, people get distracted from leaning important news so entertainment scandals by no means make contributions to the society.

When it comes to political field, scandals reveal the dirty tricks of government indeed, to some extent, scandals assist to shape democracy. Take the Prism as a case in point. With the exposure of some secret documents of NSA, millions of Americans become aware of the fact that BIG BROTHER IS WACHTING YOU. It goes without denying that few people would even consider that the government collects their chat logs, text messages and stuff on a regular basis in a disguise of so-called national security. Luckily, after the leak, not only ordinary Americans take their privacy seriously but also other European countries attach great importance to information security. In other words, political scandals pave the way a more domestic and progressive country.

Admittedly, some scandals attract our attention and then unveil the injustice and inequality of the society, whereas we citizens are not supposed to count on scandals to deal with every tort. Frankly speaking, the scandals root in the lack of rules and regulations, which means if the legal system were complete enough, organizations such as FIFA would not be involved in bribery affair or other cases from the very beginning.

To sum it up, whether scandals are useful or not depends on the content and the consequences they bring. As for scandals scooped by paparazzo, they are literally tons of trash because they divert people’s concentration into the wrong track. However, scandals related to people’s well-being, are noteworthy since they may actually improve our life standards. Whilst our civil rights are under violation, appealing to scandals is certainly not the only way, perfecting law system is our safeguard, after all.  


遇到的问题：
1.我参考了老师的范文，基本上是在写“Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on some problems ”如何结合题目“that no speaker or reformer ever could”这一点去列观点？
2.写这篇之前我重新研读了老师的issue 1+3。这道题我自己列提纲时是分为“娱乐圈” “体育”“政治”持有的态度分别是not useful/ useful/useful 但是这样分类的话，“体育”和“政治”两个领域内容有重复。请问老师哪类题目不适合直接分领域写？3.如果写娱乐和政治领域都not useful的话，观点就不复杂了，请老师指点~

谢谢老师和同学指导~

老师范文：https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=redirect&goto=findpost&ptid=1777232&pid=1779234665&fromuid=3626719

TrueyangUID: 3642895

这还真是互改。
那个，您是不是先把TS加黑了比较好啊。LZ的写作功力挺高的，在下钦佩。
最明显的问题的话，首先是第一段的观点不清，“Yet in another realm, such as politics, scandals play a significant role in defending justice.”这句是说scandal有用，“under no circumstances shall we overstate the value of scandals”结尾是所有scandal没用，要靠法律。那不是把上边论述的political scandal的部分给否定了?这应该叫上下矛盾吧。
其二应该是2、4段的development不够充分吧，LZ遣词造句那么顺溜，扩写应该不成问题。

总结起来我觉得最重要的还是把您对于political,entertaining scandals态度的逻辑关系搞清楚吧。LZ是想说，尽管scandals有些有用有些没用，最后都得靠法律，是这意思不？那还不如说，political，entertaining scandal 都没用，最后得靠法律，这样顺当。

还有一点就是，没有明显地对可能的对你的观点形成挑战的看法进行回应吧

愚钝如我，就能看到这么多。

yswhynotUID: 3587542

来点评啦~
As we read newspapers, search online or watch TV, all kinds of scandals inevitably catch our attention. Facing the huge amount of scandals every day, I hold the opinion that not all scandals are useful to us owning to the vague definition of “useful”. In entertainment business, the majority of scandals are useless for the reason that they waste our time on trifles. Yet in another realm, such as politics, scandals play a significant role in defending justice. (观点赞)Nevertheless, under no circumstances shall we overstate the value of scandals since the ultimate way to uphold social equality is optimizing legal system.(个人觉得突然冒出来的social equality有点奇怪)

As far as entertainment is concerned, scandals attract people’s attention on meaningless stuff rather than serious issues. For example, CNN news inserted a piece of ” breaking news” about the arrestment of Justin Bibber into a solemn live court trial. Judging from this instance, people get distracted from leaning important news so entertainment scandals by no means make contributions to the society. (感觉对社会做出contribution这点有点奇怪……既然之前提到娱乐圈的scandal是trifle还是应该议论下相比CNN的其他news这个只是trifle什么的 觉得提到对社会的贡献好像有点略远)

When it comes to political field, scandals reveal the dirty tricks of government indeed, to some extent, scandals assist to shape democracy. Take the Prism as a case in point. With the exposure of some secret documents of NSA, millions of Americans become aware of the fact that BIG BROTHER IS WACHTING YOU. It goes without denying that few people would even consider that the government collects their chat logs, text messages and stuff on a regular basis in a disguise of so-called national security. Luckily, after the leak, not only ordinary Americans take their privacy seriously but also other European countries attach great importance to information security. In other words, political scandals pave the way a more domestic and progressive country.(这段赞 感觉还蛮有说服力的呢)

Admittedly, some scandals attract our attention and then unveil the injustice and inequality of the society, whereas we citizens are not supposed to count on scandals to deal with every tort. Frankly speaking, the scandals root in the lack of rules and regulations, which means if the legal system were complete enough, organizations such as FIFA would not be involved in bribery affair or other cases from the very beginning. (个人觉得本身题目中也并没有想让我们讨论scandal到底应该有或者没有 只是聚焦在它本身的意义上面)

To sum it up, whether scandals are useful or not depends on the content and the consequences they bring. As for scandals scooped by paparazzo, they are literally tons of trash because they divert people’s concentration into the wrong track. However, scandals related to people’s well-being, are noteworthy since they may actually improve our life standards. Whilst our civil rights are under violation, appealing to scandals is certainly not the only way, perfecting law system is our safeguard, after all. (结尾总结的挺清楚的 赞~)

总的来说觉得楼主的英文功底好棒，句子写的感觉好专业。但是感觉是不是因为在文章中想表达的东西太多了所有有些好像没有说的很明白，就比如倒数第二段的society inequality和legal system的出现好像给文章加了好多点但是讲的没有很细致。当然可能和时间也有关，还是觉得不用这么复杂的吧~
哈哈只是刚开始准备GRE的小白一只，一家之言for reference only XD
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恩然后就是打滚求点评啦，第一篇argument还望指教：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1873272-4-1.html

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

yswhynot 发表于 2015-9-20 16:26
来点评啦~
As we read newspapers, search online or watch TV, all kinds of scandals inevitably catch  ...

O(∩_∩)O好的，已经点评咯~
详见
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=3626719

CandyisthebestUID: 3626719

ISSUE 7)
Some people believe that government funding of the arts is necessary to ensure that the arts can flourish and be available to all people. Others believe that government funding of the arts threatens the integrity of the arts.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.  

From my perspective, it is necessary for the government to fund arts otherwise some kinds of arts may disappear, however on the other hand, I can't deny the government might stifle arts against their ideologies, so I come up with a solution to fix this paradox, which is establishing an art committee including independent artists.

Firstly, that some arts do not get sponsored from other sources entices their doom due to the lack of money. Take the traditional Chinese art, Piying as a case in point. Piying was firstly formed around hundreds of years ago, which was the essence of folk arts. Unfortunately, the art is vanishing because the artists are unpaid so a decreasing number of young people are willing to inherit it. Not only does Piying is facing the horrible situation, but also other traditional folk art is disappearing from the earth perpetually owning to financial problems. In addition, the establishment and maintenance of museums cost the government a large amount of money indeed, nevertheless, it’s all worthwhile to educate people and nourish their good senses of art. Otherwise, the public is less likely to enjoy the beauty of artistic masterpieces if there are little museums. Taking what I mentioned above into account, government is obliged to fund arts (traditional folk art in particularly) in order to keep all kinds of art in existence and then furthermore, make them available to people.

On the other hand, some people are worried that the government is going to fund certain arts that suit their political agenda so the “selected” art is, as a matter of fact, regression in the art filed. I am totally aware of their concerns; admittedly, it’s true that political groups tend to hire artists to promote their policies. Here’s an extreme example, publications in North Korea are under severe censorship and contexts that harm the region of government are curtailed immediately. We can safely arrive at the conclusion that art is nothing more than a tool of the government to brainwash its people in North Korea, there is definitely no diversity or integrity of arts at all.

To bridge the gap between government’s fund and free wills of artists, I can think of no better solution than setting up art committee. To elaborate my point of view, the committee is funded by the government, consists of renowned artists and served for the people. The committee functions independently, which indicates the government per se can’t determine what to fund or what not to, i.e. the committee finances arts without political bias.

In conclusion, arts need the financial support from government while it may happen that the government overrides arts by smothering voices of different political stances. In my opinion, art committee will perfectly fix this problem for the sake of art flourishing.



老师范文：
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... 279&fromuid=3626719