argument10,30分钟。得imong鞭策，争取argu冲6分系列（一）

limaotouUID: 158350

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.
'The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers.'

In the argument, the arguer recommends that the Batavia government should reglulate retail milk prices in order to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers. To substantiate this recommendation, the arguer points out that the number of dairy farms has greatly increased. He also points out that the price of milk at a local market has more than doubled. This argument is problematic in several critical respects.

First of all, the arguer unfairly assumes that the increase in the number of dairy farms will guarantee the increase of milk supply. However, he fails to provide any evidence to support this assumption. It is entirely possible that although the number of dairy farms throughout the country is 25 percent greater than 10 years ago, the milk supply,by contrast, move in the opposite direction because the average production of dairy farms declines. Moreover, this increase in dairy farms is based on a nation-wide statistics, which may not correcly describe the trend in Batavia. This problem will undermine the reliability in statistcs therefore would seriously undermine the credibility of the argument.

In addition, the arguer points out that during the same period, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has more than doubled. But he does not provide any evidence to convince us the representativeness of the Excello Food Market. It is possible that the price in other markets in the Batavia is totally different with the price in Excello Food Market. Furthermore, the arguer has neglected other factors that may account for the increase in price, say inflation in the whole economy. Without ruling out this possibility, the arguer could not draw any general inference about the milk price in market of Batavia. Also, the arguer presumptuously assumes that the farmers have been receiving excessive profits on the increased supply of milk. But common sense tells us that when the supply increases, the price would probably goes down along with a decreased profit. Thus the arguer's claim that the farmers receive excessive profits is absolutely untenable.

Finally, the arguer recommends that the Batavia government should regulate retail milk prices. This regulation,if conducted, would actually lower the prices as well as the supply of milk.Consider if the price is lower, the farmers would be less likely to supply adequate amount of milk, and therefore would cause a shortage of milk and consequently a higher price of milk. So such a regulation would probably cause more problems than it could sovle.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen it , the arguer needs to provide a local statistics about the milk market in Batavia. At the same time, the arguer should investigate the milk price of the whole market in Batavia rather than only one local market before giving any valuable suggestion about whether a market regulation is worthwhile.

imongUID: 140258

互相动手吧。
https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... d=874183#post874183

limaotouUID: 158350

自己up一下，哪个好心人给批批吧。

海洋UID: 126969

我觉得是一篇相当牛的文章！这么短时间内写完，功夫很深了。pfpf啊!!

我挑一些小毛病：

第一段：This problem will undermine the reliability in statistcs [and]therefore would seriously undermine the credibility of the argument——.中间应该有个and吧.

第二段：by contrast ——人们常用的应该是in contrast吧。还有就是 and therefore

第三段：主题句显得罗嗦了，还像前一段那样的风格不好吗？虽然句式在变化，但没有变化得更好。你试一下改得更好些。还有就是应该ruling out these possibilities, 是复数啦。你提出了两种可能。


Finally这一段棒极了！不落窠臼，极有创新！100分！

limaotouUID: 158350

嗯，谢谢海洋，看来跟6分还是有距离，我得拼了小命了，呵呵。