goh的作文练习贴

vinci_gohUID: 3469516

8月2日开始参加2015年AW暑期同主题练习

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授权声明

本人为寄托ID：vinci_goh 的持有人，现通过寄托论坛参与tesolchina的GRE写作研究，在这里授权tesolchina和hj1313的ID持有人使用本帖中本人的习作及互改记录做教学与科研用途。


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英语学习背景

四级535（2010） 六级516（2014） 托福作文20（2013）GRE（2015-5-10，2.5）


下次GRE考试时间：8月29；

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vinci_gohUID: 3469516

希望能加入王老师的作文学习小组，跟着大家一起进步。
这两三天补了这个星期的作文练习，刚开始练写作文，这些练习都没限时间，都是严重超时的，而且自己没修改，很多错误。
希望能参与王老师的活动，得到王老师和各位同学们的指导~谢谢~

vinci_gohUID: 3469516

补7月27号作文
100) Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.
Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

I do not think the policy that students are required to spend at least one semester studying abroad is viable for the reason as follow. First, the expense for studying in a foreign country is too prohibitive for most of students to afford. Second, there is great difference between studying abroad and domestically, which is not suitable for students who cannot adapt to a new environment in a short time. Lastly，requiring every student to study abroad may also do harm to our country's educational system in some extent.

the policy that students are required to spend- the policy that requires students ...
a large gap between studying abroad and (studying) domestically 这里是指什么之间的gap 没说清楚

我把gap改成跟下文对应的difference，然后最后一个论点把它去掉了。做题的时候，光顾着看别人的例子，忘了我的题目要求是policy的consequence. 最后一部分，确实没办法转换成consequence，所以还是整体去掉了。



To begin with, most students do not have enough money to pay the tuition and living expense to study in a foreign country as the requirement of the policy.As we know, the tuition and living cost in the countries in mostexchange studying programs are much higher than those of our own country. Although scholarship and financial aid are provided for students to help them to pay for the tuition or even living expense, they are not enough to cover every student in every aspect in their study abroad. Of course, it is very difficult for students to get these scholarship and financial aid because there are full of competition. Thus, it will greatly increase the financial burden of most families ifthis policy is applied. It is possible that some students may even give up thechance to enter colleges because of the prohibitive cost of this requirement. Hence, this policy may not be viable because of its great cost.
题目要求说这个政策的后果 所以你这里要强调这个政策会导致学生经济负担过重   你整段都没有讲consequence 就有点偏题了
后面整理一下，补充了consequence

The second reason why I believe this policy is not practicable is that it is of great difference for students to study abroad and domestically. First, the study plan and course schedule in the original university do not align with those in the foreign country, which is too hard to them to adapt and forge ahead in their study. It is very possible that theymay not study as well as they are in our own country. Second, it takes a long time for many students to accommodate the living in a strange environment. While most exchange studying program is only one semester or one year, many students may have not yet got adaptation to the new environment when the program come to an end. As the consideration above, if this policy was adopted, students cannot benefit fromit because of the great difference of study and living in a foreign country.

同样的你需要说 这个政策下 很多同学会无法适应新环境 学习收获会比较小  
补充了consequence

Lastly,if every student is required to studying abroad for at least one year, it maydo harm to our country’s educational system. That students are required to spend at least one year in a foreign country instead of domestically means that less educational resource of our own country will be utilized. The funding ofthe government for universities to maintain their operation and improve their educationalfoundation facilities may be reduced in order offer more financial aid for students to study abroad, which is detrimental for the improvement of our country’suniversities. Without enough government financing in our country’s educational system,research of science and technology may be suspended, which is bad for theprosperity of our society. Hence, I don’t think it is advisable because thispolicy requiring students to study abroad may be harmful to our country’seducational system.

这段的点就很难转化为consequence了 因此要重新考虑 总之你需要严格按照题目要求回答
后面重新写了一段，可能有点牵强


In conclusion, it is not practical to require every student to spend at least one semester in a foreign country. Instead, the university should encourage students interested with this policy to apply for such a program.

vinci_gohUID: 3469516

补7月28号作文

100) The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The group of developers believed that it would be tremendously profitable to open a jazz club in Monroe. Their argument was based on the assumptions as follow, the popularity of jazz music in Monroe, the acceptance of the jazz fans about the new club, the willing of jazz fans in Monroe to spend money in the club. We need to exam the assumptions in order to evaluate the validity of the argument.  

To begin with, the developers argued that jazz music is extremely popular in this city, because of the large number of people who attended Monroe’s jazz music festival, the highest rate of the radio program ‘Jazz Nightly’, and the fact that a number of jazz musician own homes in Monroe. However, it is too precipitous for the developers to make the conclusion about the popularity of jazz music in this city. First, most of people who attended the jazz music festival may come from other cities, and there would be only a small part of them were natives in Monroe. Second, it is possible that the highest rate of the radio program was concluded from a survey based on a small group of people who cannot represent the people in this city. In addition, it may be only very few people in that city who still listen to radio program because the accesses to Television and Internet. Lastly, it is possible that the jazz musicians own homes in this city in other reasons than the popularity of jazz music, such as the profit of investment. Thus, in order to draw a conclusion about popularity of jazz music, the developer should reconsider the cases above.  

Further, the developer argued that it was profitable to open a jazz music club in the city because the nearest jazz club is one hour away. They assumed that jazz fan would certainly choose the club near in the city instead of the one far away. There are many factors influencing the jazz fan to choose a club, such as the environment of the club, the jazz musicians performing in the club, and the cost in the club. The location of a jazz club cannot solely be attractive enough to jazz fans to choose it. Therefore, the argument of the developers is unconvincing.

Lastly, they assume that jazz musician in the city would likely to spend money in the club in the light of a nationwide survey. However, a nationwide survey cannot demonstrate the real situation in the city, because that the real consumption ability of people in the city may be lower than the nationwide average. Even if jazz fans in Monroe would spend that amount of money in jazz entertainment, it is unclear how they distribute their money in it. It is possible that they may spend large portion of the money in jazz concert which is always expensive or in jazz music CDs which release at a very fast speed. Without further information of jazz fans in Monroe, the club may not be profitable as they assume.

To conclude, the argument of the developers of the popularity of jazz in Monroe may be invalid. More information about the club besides the location and about the jazz fans should be offered to determine whether it is profitable to open a club in Monroe.

vinci_gohUID: 3469516

补7月29作文

105) Claim: Imagination is a more valuable asset than experience.
Reason: People who lack experience are free to imagine what is possible without the constraints of established habits and attitudes.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

I disagree with both the claim that imagination is more valuable than experience and the reason that people who lack experience are unrestricted to imagine without the constraints of established habits and attitudes. Whether imagination is a more valuable asset depends on which fields of occupations are concerned, such as engineering, art and science. In some extents, the established habits and attitudes are the catalyst of imagination because innovation and imagination base on the interconnection of the mesh of our variously established knowledge.

Experience is more critical than imagination in most engineering fields, such as manufacture, fault detecting and maintenance. In the aspect of engineering, the focus of this field of occupation is solving the existing problem but not creating new things, which emphasize more on experience than imagination. By encountering as many problems as possible before, an experienced engineer can find out the problem of a specific circumstance as soon as possible, and then tackle this problem in an adept manner. In this aspect, it is doubtful to state that imagination is more valuable than experience.

Imagination is of great value in some field of occupation in which creativity or innovation is paramount, such as art. The established experience of painting skill is the elementary requirement for an artist. However, creativity sits in judgment on whether an artistic work is a great one. With the unrestrained imagination, artists can exploit their talent of creativity in great extent and somehow come into works that can be appreciated as great art. With the imagination, people make full use of their exiting knowledge and skills to make some imperishable works throughout our history, such as the great walls in China and the Egyptian pyramid. In this aspect, imagination is more valuable.

Nonetheless, imagination is not exclusive of established habits and attitudes. The established knowledge they have learned and the attitudes of their antecedents’ works is as well the catalyst of imagination. Imagination is not set on a void base, which casts down all things before. With the interconnection and strike of established knowledge, imagination can germinate and prosper. Standing on the shoulder of the precursors, newton can exploit his imagination and see further than others. To conclude, imagination is not set on a void base and it is untenable to say that people who lack experience are free to imagine.

Whether imagination is more valuable than experience is based on which field of occupation we are discussing about. Imagination is not based on void, the established habits and attitude is the catalyst of imagination in some extent.  

vinci_gohUID: 3469516

补7月30作文

Argument 34) The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits. "

"Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted."

The vice president of human resources recommended that in order to improve the productivity of employees and the overall profits of the company, the company should implement electronic monitoring of the employees’ Internet. This recommendation set on the base of several assumptions such as the efficacy of the monitoring software on reducing the wasting time of employees, the relationship of the employees’ work hours and their productivity, and the response of the employees of this system.

The first assumption of this recommendation is that after implementing a monitoring system, employees’ would spend less time on personal or recreational activities. Although this system may reduce the time employees spend on personal activities in their working station, it cannot necessarily reduce the time they waste out of it. While not permitted to waste time in the working station, they may also kill their work hours chatting with others or even do nothing but napping in the office. Moreover, nowadays many mobile devices, such as smart phones and tablet PCs, are taking place of desktop computers on dealing with personal activities or having recreations. It is obvious that they can do their own things on these mobile devices. Thus, it is not necessary that this monitoring system can ensure employees to reduce their wasting time.

The second assumption is that it can improve the productivity of the employees by reducing the work hours they spend on other things. There is not a certainly positive correlation between works hours and productivity. Indeed, coercing employees to spend all their time on working issue may make them become too tired to deal with their work tasks efficiently. In some extent, the implement of monitoring system may reduce the productivity of this company. Some necessary relaxation in their routine work, may make them get rid of fatigue and devote to their work more efficiently, which may improve the productivity for the company. Therefore, reducing work hours the employees spent on other things may not certainly improve their productivity.

The last assumption is that better work ethics would and profit can be achieved by monitoring and punishment. Some certain behaviors, such as wasting time on personal activities, can be reduced or eradicated under monitor and punishment. But if they can circumvent the monitor, the effect of monitor and punishment is in vain. It is possible that some employee may hack in the system to make the monitoring software become useless. In addition, employees may feel dismayed or even offended when being watching in their work hours by the monitoring system because of the distrust of their company. It may certainly reduce the productivity of them and vitiate the profit of the company.

In conclusion, more information should be collect about the efficacy of the monitoring system, the relationship of work hours and productivity and the effect of this monitoring system in order to examine the assumptions and this recommendation.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

请将具体楼层回复到当天的练习帖上去

vinci_gohUID: 3469516

tesolchina 发表于 2015-8-5 23:39
请将具体楼层回复到当天的练习帖上去

好的，谢谢王老师，我待会就把链接回复过去，不好意思这几天没弄作文

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

vinci_goh 发表于 2015-8-7 21:35
好的，谢谢王老师，我待会就把链接回复过去，不好意思这几天没弄作文

可能我没说清楚 我的意思是将具体楼层链接回复到当天也就是今天的帖子 比如今天是8月7日 就回复到https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1869227-1-1.html

vinci_gohUID: 3469516

57 The main benefit of the study of history is to dispel the illusion that people living now are significantly different from people who lived in earlier times.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

I partially disagree with the statement that the benefit of study history is to dispel the illusion of significantly difference between us and our forebears because, in different time of history, the problems and the way to treat the problems are indeed very different from others. However, in some extent, there are many problems currently that are similar to events in the past, which can help us dealing with things at the moment or in the future.

First, the problems we meet nowadays are different from those of people living in earlier times, because of difference in many aspects of our lives. With the increase of the productivity of our society, people today get rid of the lives depending on hunting and gathering food for surviving. With the development of science and technology, people now lead their lives with more variety in more healthy and convenient ways. The great difference between us and our ancestors indicates that many problems we confront nowadays are quite different with those of our ancestors. We are now encountering the problems that are not existed in the history, such as nuclear threat, environmental degradation and energy crisis. When facing these problems, we cannot find any precedent samples in the history to tell us how to settle them.

Second, our perspectives and solutions toward many problems are very different from past since our belief system has been changed in many stage of the history. The most significant change is the prevailing of democracy and science. In pre-modern word, the caste of one society was ossified and there were few chances for one form the lower class to enter the higher one. People form the lower class may threat this problem as certainty and accept their subordinate social position. Nowadays, as the prevailing of democracy and science, our society becomes equal and fair to all of us. With the diligence and knowledge, people can change their lives form the humble socioeconomic classes and move upward socially. Thus, the perspectives and solution toward many problems are another aspect of the significant difference of us and our ancestors.

However, despite the difference of problems and ways to treat these problems, there exists something similar in many problems between current and the past. Human nature is one thing keep constant thought out the history. Thus, the benefit of study of history is to better understand the human nature. Thought out the whole history, the human nature such as the selfishness and nobleness, the avarice and ascetic, the jaundice and magnanimity, demonstrated in different kinds of problems and different kinds of ways. With a better understanding of human nature, we can understand our current problems in a better way and deal with problems more efficiently. We can know that because of the avarice of human nature, the economic crisis happens in a periodic pattern, and that the unremitting conflicts in mid-east are due to our avarice pursuit of oil.

To reiterate my position, the statement is misleading because it only focuses on the similarity in the history and ignores the difference between us and people in the past.