写的第一篇Argument，求意见，求狠批！

yzysimonUID: 3629689

76) The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.

Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and company profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares, and other investors not to purchase stock in this company.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.

From this argument, we know that many people who took a survey want to take low-fat products and then the sales of high-fat products will diminish quickly, therefore author suggests that investors not to purchase stock in this company. This argument sounds plausible. Nevertheless, to make this argument more convincing, we need to ask some questions.

First, does this survey choose responents randomly? If they choose respondents randomly, then the results can reflect the real situation and this argument makes sense. However, if most respondents are really fat, then most of them do want to slim their weights. But the problem is, there are many people who do not want to slim their weights will not stop using food products marketed by Old Dairy Industries, which will strongly weaken the argument. To make the argument more cogent, author needs to make sure that the responents need to be choosen randomly.

Second, does reducing intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol mean that people do not want to buy high-fat products? That's not always true. For some people, they may just buy less foods containing high fats, rather than buy more foods containing low fats, for the reason that the high-fats food is more tasty. They still want to eat this kind of food, but just take a little bit less. So, if author can prove that people who are willing to reduce their intake of foods containing fats will definitely do not want to buy any high-fat foods, then the argument will be more convincing.

Third, is selling their shares of Old Dairy company the only solution to this problem? There may be other solutions. For example, the company can spend more money on advertising, to promote that their products are not as bad as people think. Or it can make more low-fat products. So if company can do this, the company may survive. If author can provide evidence that the company has no alternative but to sell stockholder's shares, then the argument can be strengthened.

Although low-fat foods is beneficial to reduce intaking fats, it does necessarily mean that the sale of high-fat foods diminish very quickly. There are rooms for Old Dairy company to survive, and it might be imprudent for investors to sell their shares only based on this argument.

提纲：
1. 这个调查抽样的时候可能没有随机抽样。
2. 减少脂肪摄取量未必代表人们一定不会买Old Dairy的东西
3. 卖股权不是解决问题的唯一办法

字数：383
时间：28分钟

自己写的感觉：第一篇计时的argument，写的很粗糙。句式和用词可能会比较重复，以及时间来不及所以没法检查语言错误。

还有，自己感觉，选取的要点可能不是特别好。

希望大家可以多发现这个文章的漏洞和可以改进的地方~在此谢谢大家了

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

第一个point关于survey 仅仅说random sampling可能不够 关键在于言行是否一致
第三个point里 小股东是不太可能左右公司决策的  更何况还涉及潜在投资人

我的提纲可以参考下
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... ge=33#pid1779812351

yzysimonUID: 3629689

tesolchina 发表于 2015-8-9 23:41
第一个point关于survey 仅仅说random sampling可能不够 关键在于言行是否一致
第三个point里 小股东是不太 ...

回复的好快！谢谢老师点评！