现在很着急，希望有人能看一下我的toefl作文

deannaaUID: 145017

大家麻烦看一下我的作文，按时完成的，来不及了，少写了一段，我吐血一各个子敲上去的，麻烦大家了，
这里有礼了
是同意保护民用地还是濒危动物生存地的题
No time in the human history has the issue protecting human needs for farmland, housing, and industry been, so much concerned than nowadays. To be frank, I think the importance of the human needs as well as the benefit and advantages it brought through protecting it outweighs more than that of saving land for endangered animals. From a personal perspective, I strongly agree that view due to the reasons given as follows.

In the first place, enough housing is the basic factor to keep healthy. Living a small room, one can not do indoor exercises. When staying the room for a long time, he will feel tired and maybe get headache because of the lack of oxygen. What’s more, the population increases so quickly that the housing land per everyone will be definitely small if we don’t protect it.

In the second place, it is the farmland that ensures our personal life, for example, thousands of hundreds of African people have to endure hunger because they don’t have much farmland. Not only does the farmland produce food vegetable as well as fruits for everyday life, but also some medicine used to cure diseases. A case in point is the Chinese herb medicine that is distracted from many herbs without enough farmland; neither can we avoid hunger nor illness.

In summary, it is important to protect human needs since they ensure our health and our basic needs. Although it means many endangered animals extinct contributed to lack of their land, we have no better choice. It is sad but realistic.

ghostwalkUID: 163961

No time in the human history has the issue protecting human needs for
farmland, housing, and industry been,（逗号去掉） so much concerned than

nowadays. To be frank, I think the importance of the human needs as well

as the benefit and advantages(虽然没语法错误，benefit和advantage的单复数最

好一致) it brought through protecting it outweighs more than（去掉more

than) that of saving land for endangered animals. From a personal

perspective, I strongly agree that(this) view due to the reasons given(去

掉given) as follows.

In the first place, enough housing is the basic factor to keep healthy.

Living(加in) a small room, one can not do indoor exercises. When staying

the room for a long time, he will feel tired and maybe get headache

because of the lack of oxygen(没有因果关系，而且这样写有点搞笑). What’s

more, the population increases so quickly that the housing land per

everyone(per person,或者for everyone) will be definitely small(加,变成插入语，不然就有语法错误) if we

don’t protect it.

In the second place, it is the farmland that ensures our personal life,

for example, thousands of hundreds of African people have to endure hunger

because they don’t have much(adequate好些) farmland. Not only does the

farmland produce food(,) vegetable as well as fruits for everyday life,

but also some medicine used to cure diseases(medicine当然是cure disease的

，所以这句话有点多余，如果想赚字数可改成also some indispensable

pharmaceuticals). A case in point is the

Chinese herb medicine(s) that is(is不要) distracted from many herbs

without enough

farmland;(去掉without...) neither can we avoid hunger nor illness.(用

neither前面必须有他的conterpart,但是我找不到)

In summary, it is important to protect human needs(resources) since they

ensure our

health and our basic needs(用词要多样化，而且要准确) Although it means

many endangered animals

extinct contributed to lack of their land, we have no better choice.(这句

话不光有语法问题，而且还有逻辑问题。改成Even if it means to compromise the

deracinating animals,we have no better choice) It is

sad(cruel) but realistic.

the whole passage is full of grammer mistakes, which, im sure, you would

be able to correct by youself if you had time to review, so i can't really concentrate on you logic reasoning. moreover, it would be better if you could use different words each time to express the same meaning.

daomeihuUID: 166160

漂亮