[color=#a300ff]负责版主：belial和genie05 NO 1组：princessmia、zhiyi

tianhelanUID: 166761

我前两天怎么也登不上这里哦，很奇怪的说

害我失魂落魄了好几天，心情郁闷到极点

现在好多了嘞~，HAPPY哦~

awin1003_aaUID: 166888

:)

princessmiaUID: 121566

Your city has decided to build a statue or monument to honor a famous person
in your country. Who would you choose? Use reasons and specific examples to
support your choice

There are a lot of famous persons in China, and it’s so difficult to choose only one to build a statue for. However, if I have to make a choice, from the bottom of my heart, I would like to build a statue to honor the late Premier Zhou Enlai.

Zhou’s significant contribution to China dates back to the war of resistance against Japanese aggression, when he was a major leader of the Chinese Communist Party (CPC) Zhou represented CPC to negotiate with Kuomintang (KMT, the political party in power at the time), for a ceasefire between the two parties and for the nation to unite against Japanese invaders. Disregarding his own safety, Zhou stayed in Chongqing, the capital of the KMT regime, during most time of the war, in order to maintain the fragile coalition of the two parties for the victory of the Chinese people against the Japanese.

After the foundation of the People’s Republic of China in 1949, Zhou became the first Premier of the country. He worked day and night for China’s modernization and development.

In addition, as the country’s first Minister of Foreign Affairs, he was famous as a successful diplomat. Heading the Chinese delegation to the Bandung Conference, he raised and advocated the well-known Five Principles of Peaceful Coexistence, and won a great reputation for China in the Third World. Later in the early 1970s, Zhou dedicated himself to reestablishing contacts with western countries. He broke the ground for the rehabilitation of the Sino-American relationship by arranging secret talks with Henry Kissinger and other senior American officials, by welcoming Richard Nixon in Beijing, and by signing the Shanghai Communiqué.

Zhou was not only an accomplished statesman, but also a prestigious person. He kept life-time loyalty to his wife, although she was infertile. He didn’t have any money deposit when he died. In addition, Many people, both Chinese and foreigners, were all surprised to find such a high-ranked official so kind and approachable. For example, after a terrible earthquake happened in Xingtai, Zhou quickly reached the disaster-stricken area. Standing in the middle of the afflicted local people, he ate and drank the same as them, encouraging them to rebuild their hometown.  

In summary, practice is better than precept. Premier Zhou set an example by his broad heart, high prestige, and daily actions.  In my heart, he is a great person worth commemorating with a statute.

似乎有点长,也许考试的时候写不了这么长

genie05UID: 30358

Your city has decided to build a statue or monument to honor a famous person
in your country. Who would you choose? Use reasons and specific examples to
support your choice 。

There are a lot of famous persons in China, and it’s so difficult to choose only one to build a statue for. However, if I have to make a choice, from the bottom of my heart, I would like to build a statue to honor the late Premier Zhou Enlai.
过度死板的开头，一点没有吸引力-.-!，而且太罗嗦了。
Among all the famous persons in China, it is difficult for anybody to choose one to build a statue for. Were I had to make the choice, the late Premier Zhou Enlai will be a wise one.最近在看一些写作的书，可能受了一些影响，只是想看看我觉得这些句子该怎么写，个人意见

每个段落如果有个总论应该会好些，比如这里on the one hand, Zhou做了很杰出的贡献Zhou’s significant contribution to China dates back to the war of resistance against Japanese aggression（抗日战争应该有专门的表达吧）, when he was a major leader of the Chinese Communist Party (CPC) Zhou represented CPC to negotiate with Kuomintang (KMT, the political party in power at the time), for a ceasefire between the two parties and for the nation to unite against Japanese invaders.(记得在书上看见说句子超过3行的话就要考虑分成几个来写，我想你这个句子应该使用于这个情况) Disregarding his own safety, Zhou stayed in Chongqing, the capital of the KMT regime, during most time of the war, （in order不要了） to maintain the fragile coalition of the two parties for the victory of the Chinese people against the Japanese. （这个句子不错^_^）

After the foundation of the People’s Republic of China in 1949, Zhou became the first Premier of the country. He worked day and night for China’s modernization and development.
Being the first Premier after the foundation of the People’s Republic of China in 1949, Zhou worked day and night for China’s modernization and development

In addition, as the country’s first Minister of Foreign Affairs, he（ZHOU本段第一次出现，最好不要用代词） was famous as a successful diplomat. Heading the Chinese delegation to the Bandung Conference, he raised提出是这个用法吗？请教 ，我不懂 and advocated the well-known Five Principles of Peaceful Coexistence, and won a great reputation for China in the Third World. Later in the early 1970s, Zhou dedicated himself to reestablishing contacts with western countries. He broke the ground for the rehabilitation of the Sino-American（这个是什么意思啊？请教） relationship by arranging secret talks with Henry Kissinger and other senior American officials, by welcoming Richard Nixon in Beijing, and by signing the Shanghai Communiqué. （总觉得看着这个句子不舒服，倒过来写会不会好点，他做了什么，做了什么，然后成功地BROKE THE GROUD FOR THE REHAVILITATION OF 。。。。。）

Zhou was not only an accomplished statesman, but also a prestigious person. He kept life-time loyalty to his wife, although she was infertile. He didn’t have any money deposit when he died. In addition, Many people, both Chinese and foreigners, were all surprised to find such a high-ranked official so kind and approachable. For example, after a terrible earthquake happened in Xingtai, Zhou quickly reached the disaster-stricken area. Standing in the middle of the afflicted local people, he ate and drank the same as them, encouraging them to rebuild their hometown.
Zhou was not only an accomplished statesman, but also a prestigious person. He is fealty, kept life-time loyalty to his infertile wife; he is austerity, ……..; and he is kind …….改下句式也许比你那个表达要好很多

In summary, practice is better than precept.不太懂这个句子的意思，请教 Premier Zhou set an example by his broad heart宽大的心胸是这个表达吗？请教, high prestige, and daily actions. In my heart in my mind??, he is a great person worth commemorating with a statute.


对周总理知识的了解丰富得让我敬佩，西西。

不过分析一下得分的几个点
Score 6---Scoring Guidelines
An essay at this level
----effectively addresses the writing task
----is well organized and well developed
----uses clearly appropriate details to support a thesis or illustrate ideas
----displays consistent facility in the use of language
----demonstrates syntactic variety and appropriate word choice

个人感觉在第二个方面做的还比较差，你的结构不清晰。无论哪种作文的结果，我想都可以用GRE和TOEFL的阅读来当作范文看，2，3段的安排稍梢有点乱。句式的变化上还可以多斟酌，还有些地方的CHINGLISH太明显了，最后是某些用词重复，比如第4段，全部都是AND在连接，可以考虑改一下。不过总得说来文章不错^_^尤其是第3，5点很不错。
至于你选的这个例子，我个人觉得是没有问题的，应该不存在有偏见的问题。
很多句子是没有必要改的，不过个人有点偏执，恩~~就按照我喜欢的方式来改了一下，如果MM觉得不合适可以忽略。
以上是我个人意见，不知道对不对，切磋一下吧

princessmiaUID: 121566

恩,谢谢平平,辛苦辛苦!你的意见很好,我统统的喜欢!!!
1,8过我觉得我不会用长句子,每次别人都和我说要我多用几个漂亮的长句,那个很长的句子就是这样出台的,可是照你这么说,是不是不该用太长的句子???
2,sino--american是中美关系的专用词,raise是否代表提出我也不知道,请教的一位高人,他说是,我就这么写了.
3,第5段你改的粉好的说,采纳采纳,西西~~~~~~
4,practice is better than precept是身教重于言教的意思,也许用在这里不是很恰当.....
5,broad heart是我查的汉英字典.
6,我都是先想好中文再翻译成英文的,汗~~~~~~以后要多多努力,注意结构,主要是没时间想,一般都是想到什么写什么
7,词汇确实比较贫乏,很郁闷的说.经常要查字典~~~~~~
突然明白为啥俺上次的分数那么低了,555555555555555~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MM.再次感谢,严重感谢,鲜花!!

tianhelanUID: 166761

呵呵，princessmia我前两天已经看过了哦，可是可是实在是不好意思哦，我这个大懒虫还没开始准备作文，不敢乱评价的说，反正比我的作文好很多呀~

看了有点汗颜了哦~，我也要加油的说~

genie05评得好详细哦~，我也受教不少呢，谢谢哦~

genie05UID: 30358

。。。。恩，本来觉得有些地方我改得太过，在考虑贴不帖的，好跑去问了师傅。

那几个问题谢谢公主了~~西西。偶都是不懂的。

我觉得句子长度怎么舒服怎么好，无意义的加长和GRE的变态阅读。。。差不多。。。。了。不喜欢~:(看你自己怎么想了

genie05UID: 30358

最初由 tianhelan 发布
[B]我前两天怎么也登不上这里哦，很奇怪的说

害我失魂落魄了好几天，心情郁闷到极点

现在好多了嘞~，HAPPY哦~ [/B]

西西，我都用EDU。GTER。NET登陆的呢~

SammyfeishiUID: 151939

princessmia 看了你的文章真让我汗颜阿 写的长 用词也挺丰富的 特别是一些特定的短语如中美关系等 我想没有积累是不会一下子想起来的 我和你差的多了这么说来 我上次的三点五都多
不过我觉得最好每段有一个比较醒目的中心句 这样外国人喜欢  
我要加油了 过几天把自己写得也贴上来

SammyfeishiUID: 151939

好几天也没人了 都忙着复习了吧 有几道题不明白
w: do you think DR.LUBY will lead a theater trip to Broadway in New York City again this year?
m: i do not think so. i know so! And i have already signed up for it.
这个女的到底认为dr luby 会不会带学生看演出阿 i do not think so. i know so! 什么意思？

w; i hear that your brother is planning to transfer to another university
m :Not if i can talk him out of it. And believe me, i am trying.
答案说男生认为哥哥不会转学 Not if i can talk him out of it. 是什么意思

一道语法题
The first city of USA that (put ) into effect major (plan ) for (the clustering )of government  (buildings )was Washington.D.C
which one is wrong?

大家帮帮我吧

princessmiaUID: 121566

听力我今天也想问来着,看来咱们听力水平差不多:)

语法是不是把plan改成plans?
我语法最差,错了表鄙视我

SammyfeishiUID: 151939

why change plan to plans?

希望大家帮忙啊

tianhelanUID: 166761

完了完了完了
颓废了好几天，做了一份卷子，一对答案，把自己打击得晚上都快睡不着了

我可是沾床就睡的那种哦~
00之后的听力真的是越来越打击人啦

princessmiaUID: 121566

最初由 Sammyfeishi 发布
[B]why change plan to plans?

希望大家帮忙啊 [/B]

名词单独存在的时候一定要用复数

awin1003_aaUID: 166888

请问一下: 各位知道ets得那个大本吗
那里的语速 和 新东方教材的语速 不同 前者要慢 那个应该多听啊