issue167 (有提纲),也给别人改过.不经常发水帖,很守规矩的ganymede请大家过来砸一砸

GanymedeUID: 159195

issue167:It is impossible for an effective political leader to tell the truth all the time.  Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician.
提纲：1.没有人能绝对的诚实，政治家也不能例外
      2.绝对的诚实对政治家来说没有必要，有时一个无害的谎言却能起到举足轻重的作用。
      3.不可否认，诚实是做人的美德，更是政治家应具有的基本素质


Being a successful political leader, is it possible for him to keep the truth of every word he speaks all the time? In my point of view, complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician in that it can not be nor is necessary.

No one can tell the truth all the time in all his life from which the politicians, dubbed" borned lier", can be excluded. Who can assert" I am honest every second?" .Even if you are an absolute truth teller from your born to the last second, how can you guarantee the same words in the next second when your beloved girlfriend, who asks for your advice, is wearing her new-buyed dress that can hardly contain her ever-enlarging body? In addition, white lies can be heard here and there which are regarded as the symbol of benevolence and wisdom. As a part of people, how can the politicians, who are included in the complexity of political conflicts and weariness of dealing with the country's affairs, behaves perfect without making such mistakes as telling lie to the world once? However, at some times, lies can become an important leverage to attain certain political aims in which i will go to a further discussion in the following paragraph.

Perpetual honesty is unnecessary even harmful for an effective political leader to gain some political objectives，but a lie sometimes may do great help. What makes a political leader effective and successful? The eternal truth to the public? Of course not! It is eternal responsibility for his country, for his people, and effective way to assure his people's safety and benefit that makes him a reverend and popular leader. In doing this, sometimes lies has played its role. Take a story happened in ancient China for example. It was a sweltering day. A troop leaded by a general who had won countless battles by his bravery and wisdom was marching on the desert. When every soldier was too thirsty and tired to make a pace, the general raised his voice and claimed" I remember clearly it is only 10 minute's walk to get to a plum yard from here" On hearing this, each soldier's mouth teemed with the slobber and the speed of the group increased greatly. 10 minutes later they found nothing, but the general added" Hold on, my boys, it is on the corner" At last, they reached an oasis where they had a nice quaff after 30 minutes. In fact, there was no plum at all, the lie that the general told helped the soldiers ignite the hope and provoke their potential capacity to get out of the desert.

Admittedly，honesty as one of human virtues is the quality that every effective political leader should possess. Without honesty as for a normal person, there will be no credit, no understanding no true friendship, and no true love. But for a political leader, always telling lies will make lose reverence and love of his people. He is bound to just show up on the stage of history like a flash in the pan.

In conclusion, due to analysis and the reasons mentioned above, which sometimes correlate with each other to form a organic whole and thus become more convincing than any single of them, we may be comfortable to arrive at that honesty is imperative and important for human especially who are in power. But utter honesty never exists in political life .

needleUID: 158900

政治类？ok, seat taken.

needleUID: 158900

issue167:It is impossible for an effective political leader to tell the truth all the time. Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician.
提纲：1.没有人能绝对的诚实，政治家也不能例外
2.绝对的诚实对政治家来说没有必要，有时一个无害的谎言却能起到举足轻重的作用。
3.不可否认，诚实是做人的美德，更是政治家应具有的基本素质[我个人的习惯，会把这个让步段放在第一位。因为感觉这是一个普遍的情况。不过很多人也习惯放在最后。]


Being a successful political leader, is it possible for him to keep the truth of every word he speaks all the time? In my point of view, complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician in that it can not [cannot] be nor is necessary.

No one can tell the truth all the time in all his life[似乎跟all the time有点重复?] from which the politicians, dubbed" borned lier", can[can??不是cannot么？] be excluded. Who can assert" I am honest every second?". [注意标点的使用，问号要放在引号的外面，删去句号] Even if you are an absolute truth teller from your born[这不是一个n] to the last second[of one’s life？看了下文似乎也不是，好像是说到目前的最后一秒？…you这样的称谓似乎少用为妙], how can you guarantee the same words in the next second when your beloved girlfriend, who asks for your advice, is wearing her new-buyed[bought] dress that can hardly contain her ever-enlarging body?[这个例子虽然有一定道理，但是没有配上分析，说得并不透彻。到底为什么就不能说实话呢？而且，这个句子组织的感觉也不太好。] In addition, white lies can be heard here and there which are regarded as the symbol of benevolence and wisdom[这和上面的例子不是说的一个意思么？为什么是in addition新开一个意群呢？]. As a part of people[感觉怎么像要肢解，呵呵。As members of people如何？], how can the politicians, who are included in the complexity of political conflicts and weariness of dealing with the country's affairs, behaves[去掉s，前面有can] perfect[ly] without making such mistakes as telling lie to the world once[这个as从句真是画蛇添足]? However[哪里来的转折？不是一直都在说不能例外要说谎话么？], at some times, lies can become an important leverage to attain certain political aims in which[in which???] i [I] will go to a further discussion in the following paragraph[这是一个有问题的句子].[依然是说起外围就没完的问题啊！要记住你的中心任务是什么，每一段都要明确。你这一段说普通人都说谎的目的是在于引出政治家也不能不说谎，重点在后面。你写前半部分写得太洋洋自得啦！结果重点要论述的就写了2句，一句说不能例外（这是论点），可是论证呢？就写了1句说“杠杆作用”。这样分配篇幅是不合适的！]

Perpetual honesty is unnecessary [and] even harmful for an effective political leader to gain some political objectives，but[这个转折也不够好，用个表示对比的短语会更好，比如on the other hand/ on the contrary] a lie sometimes may do great help. What makes a political leader effective and successful? The eternal truth to the public? Of course not! It is eternal responsibility for his country, for his people, and effective way to assure his people's safety and benefit that makes[make] him a reverend and popular leader. In doing this, sometimes lies has played its role[漫长的2句外围之后，又回到了本段第一句结束的地方，依然没有开始说lies究竟如何help]. Take a story happened in ancient China for example. It was a sweltering day. A troop leaded by a general who had won countless battles by his bravery and wisdom was marching on the desert[头重脚轻的句子，主语的修饰部分太罗嗦]. When every soldier was too thirsty and tired to make a pace, the general raised his voice and claimed" I remember clearly it is only 10 minute's walk to get to a plum yard from here"[！] On hearing this, each soldier's mouth teemed with the slobber and the speed of the group increased greatly. 10 minutes later they found nothing, but the general added" Hold on, my boys, it is on the corner" [.] At last, they reached an oasis where they had a nice quaff after 30 minutes. In fact, there was no plum at all, the lie that the general told helped the soldiers ignite the hope and provoke their potential capacity to get out of the desert.[非常好的例子。如果结合论点加上一点分析就更好了。][这一段作为论证的主要段落，我感觉理论上有所欠缺。究竟什么时候政治家需要说谎呢？没有点透。举的例子虽然不错，但是依然不够全面。提醒一下，可以考虑考虑比如涉及国家安全啊、军事机密啊之类的，可以放进去说一说吧？]

Admittedly，honesty as one of human virtues is the quality that every effective political leader should possess. Without honesty as for a normal person, there will be no credit, no understanding[,] no true friendship, and no true love. But[转折???] for a political leader, always telling lies will make lose reverence and love of his people. He is bound to just show up on the stage of history like a flash in the pan.[这一段是让步段，但要回到原立场啊！怎么就只说要诚实了？那lies怎么办？]

In conclusion, due to analysis and the reasons mentioned above, which sometimes correlate with each other to form a[n] organic whole and thus become more convincing than any single of them[冗长的模版句子吧？], we may be comfortable to arrive at that honesty is imperative and important for human especially who are in power. But utter honesty never exists in political life .


[长句的组织还是问题不少的说！论证的深度不够。

另外，要注意你文章里面he用的很多，恐怕没有特指的时候，需要改成he/she。

加油！]

eaglezhouUID: 156651

issue167:It is impossible for an effective political leader to tell the truth all the time. Complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician.
提纲：1.没有人能绝对的诚实，政治家也不能例外
2.绝对的诚实对政治家来说没有必要，有时一个无害的谎言却能起到举足轻重的作用。
3.不可否认，诚实是做人的美德，更是政治家应具有的基本素质


Being a successful political leader, is it possible for him to keep the truth of every word he speaks all the time? In my point of view, complete honesty is not a useful virtue for a politician in that it can not be nor is necessary.

No one can tell the truth all the time in all his life（两个all抬别扭了！） from which the politicians, dubbed" borned lier", can be excluded.（这句话我觉得不通，这个from which的指向不明确） Who can assert" I am honest every second?" .（这种加引号的句子少些点，用从句）Even if you are an absolute truth teller from your born（born有名词的意思吗？用birthday之类的）to the last second, how can you guarantee the same words in the next second when your beloved girlfriend, who asks for your advice, is wearing her new-buyed dress that can hardly contain her ever-enlarging body? （这个例子不恰当）In addition, white lies can be heard here and there which are regarded as the symbol of benevolence and wisdom. As a part of people（别扭）, how can the politicians, who are included in the complexity of political conflicts and weariness of dealing with the country's affairs, behaves perfect（这里怎么是动词呢？） without making such mistakes as telling lie to the world once?（lie是蓄意的，mistake是无心的，不妥！） However, at some times, lies can become an important leverage to attain certain political aims in which i will go to a further discussion in the following paragraph.

Perpetual honesty is unnecessary （加个and会不会好点？）even harmful for an effective political leader to gain（achieve） some political objectives，but a lie sometimes may do great help. What makes a political leader effective and successful? The eternal truth to the public? （有这么说的吗？）Of course not! It is eternal responsibility for his country, for his people, and effective way to assure his people's safety and benefit that makes him a reverend and popular leader. In doing this, sometimes lies has（不妥，一般时就可了） played its role. Take a story happened in ancient China for example. It was a sweltering day. A troop leaded by a general who had won countless battles by his bravery and wisdom was marching on the desert. When every soldier was too thirsty and tired to make a pace, the general raised his voice and claimed" I remember clearly it is only 10 minute's walk to get to a plum yard from here" On hearing this, each soldier's mouth teemed with the slobber and the speed of the group increased greatly. 10 minutes later they found nothing, but the general added" Hold on, my boys, it is on the corner" At last, they reached an oasis where they had a nice quaff after 30 minutes. In fact, there was no plum at all, the lie that the general told helped the soldiers ignite the hope and provoke their potential capacity to get out of the desert.

Admittedly，honesty as one of human virtues is the quality that every effective political leader should possess. Without honesty as for a normal person, there will be no credit, no understanding no true friendship, and no true love. But（为什么要转折） for a political leader, always telling lies will make lose reverence and love of his people. He is bound to just show up on the stage of history like a flash in the pan.（这句话你像说明什么？）

In conclusion, due to analysis and the reasons mentioned above, which sometimes correlate with each other to form a organic whole and thus become more convincing than any single of them, we may be comfortable to arrive at （加个the conclusion）that honesty is imperative and important for human especially who are in power. But utter honesty never exists in political life .

句子的组织能力务虚提高，思路还是比较清晰
建议用你自己熟悉的词

GanymedeUID: 159195

首先感谢needle,两次给我改作文,实在辛苦.启发很大, down下来好好琢磨一下,再改改.btw,很喜欢你的签名档上的图片阿,温馨的感觉,哪个是你呢?
然后谢谢eaglezhou,正如你的标题所说"革命还未成功,ganymede仍需努力"
最后谢谢imong坐台的寄托天下,谢谢channel v.
呵呵~~~

needleUID: 158900

eaglezhou~~~~~~~那个“阅”~~~~我@#@%#^$&^&~~~~版权啊~~


BTW，答楼主记者问：签名图片？右边的是我，hia hia hia

eaglezhouUID: 156651

needle大姐，大人大量啊！
偶觉得那冬冬不错就用了，哈哈

needleUID: 158900

eaglezhou，咱们两个不要用重了吧。我送你一个自己的标志可好？:)

GanymedeUID: 159195

jj也送我一个哦

eaglezhouUID: 156651

哈哈