Issue32 不同学科老师是否同酬，交作业的说555

needleUID: 158900

Issue32
A school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school. For example, entry-level teachers in mathematics and in the arts should receive the same pay, even if outside of school, math specialists earn a much higher salary on average than do specialists in the arts.

立场：反对should not(带有一定让步)

1.反对立场，学校不应当给不同学科的老师同样的工资待遇。顺应外界工资标准时，也应当有所调节。
2.外围段：学校处于经济社会中，也是市场经济链条的一部分。教师的收入属于学校财政，而学校财政是和外界市场密不可分的。
3. 收入是高水平教师选择工作单位的重要标准，与外界收入不均衡，将很难吸引热门领域人才，使学校失去竞争力。
4. 收入均衡将打击部分教师的积极性，导致已有教师人才流失。
5.让步段：出于保护冷门学科，学校也应当注意调整冷门领域的教师收入，以防止冷门领域教师转行。
6.总结

写的时候对提纲进行了细微的修改。

Whether a school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school? I hold the opposite point of view. Although a school or college sometimes might disobey the economic rules for some purpose, generally speaking, teachers should be paid according to the salary level of related fields outside.

What should be noticed firstly is that teachers' payments in a school cannot be considered insularly. In such a marketing-economic society today, a school is inevitably a member of the economic link of the whole society. Teachers' payments as part of a school’s finance will be not only affected but also decided primarily by the marketing-economic rules, factors of which restrict others reciprocally. So it is impossible to insolate a school with outside world and discuss its teachers' income, no mention to set the salary policy solely without consider the influence from outside.

What is more, serious brain drains of the hot subjects can be avoided if teachers’ payments are set according to those outside of school. As a common sense, salary is one of the key factors taken into account when one is choosing jobs. If a school cannot assure a teacher of hot subject the same income level as other companies or entrepreneurs do in the related fields outside of school, it is highly possible for him or her to make a job-hopping for higher salaries. For the same reason, job-seekers would rather take other choices than enter the school to be a teacher, which with the losing of the present teachers would both weaken the school's competitive power in appealing to specialists with high abilities. And as a result, it might lost the students market, which is a strong problem related to the school’s existence. Such brain drains of course can be forestalled by introducing the reasonable salary policy, which will ensure their payments at least as much as they can receive outside of school, smoothing their trouble back at home and increasing the stability and competitiveness of the school.

Next, to pay teachers according to outside salary level rather than pay them at the same rate regardless which discipline they are teaching can protect the enthusiasm of teachers in popular disciplines. Taken as an example, if a teacher in a school finds that despite the same hard working, what he/she gains cannot be mentioned in the same breath with his/her friends in the same field out of school, and at the same time, his/her colleagues in cold subjects are found paid much more than outside levels, how could he/she feel then? Disappointment is the only answer. Bad mood would be taken into his/her work and influence the effect and efficiency of his/her teaching process. To escape from such a plight, it is very important to guarantee those teachers' income levels by the policy treating disciplines respectively and setting payments according to outside levels.

Admittedly, as I point out at the beginning, a school or a college may break the rules under special circumstance, which is the case referring to the cold disciplines, people in related fields of which might be paid very low in outside world. However, cold disciplines do not equal to useless subjects to the society, and by the contrary, they are necessary part of the scientific world, such as geography and researches of rare languages of human beings. With an eye to protect teachers in such fields, schools should enhance their income appropriately to motivate their valuable researches and teaching jobs.

In sum, it is unrealistic to acquire a school or a college to pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines. Rather, a salary policy should be usually adopted that teachers' income should be kept balance with that out of school although exceptions exist.（640words）

限时不成功。请批吧！555

lovebrianUID: 157127

我才5555 不要交作业了我~~哼叽~~~

needleUID: 158900

你哼叽虾米~~~讨论的时候气得我半死~~~害我要交作业，写到半夜三更~~~555

不交作业就责令你改作业！:D

hattyUID: 141246

jj的大作横空出世，哈哈

先占个座位~~

eaglezhouUID: 156651

Issue32
A school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school. For example, entry-level teachers in mathematics and in the arts should receive the same pay, even if outside of school, math specialists earn a much higher salary on average than do specialists in the arts.

立场：反对should not(带有一定让步)

1.反对立场，学校不应当给不同学科的老师同样的工资待遇。顺应外界工资标准时，也应当有所调节。
2.外围段：学校处于经济社会中，也是市场经济链条的一部分。教师的收入属于学校财政，而学校财政是和外界市场密不可分的。
3. 收入是高水平教师选择工作单位的重要标准，与外界收入不均衡，将很难吸引热门领域人才，使学校失去竞争力。
4. 收入均衡将打击部分教师的积极性，导致已有教师人才流失。
5.让步段：出于保护冷门学科，学校也应当注意调整冷门领域的教师收入，以防止冷门领域教师转行。
6.总结

感觉提纲挺有条例的，不过好像搞的复杂了点。
我个人的想法是可以先写不同意，然后对此进行展开，可以将2，3，4结合起来谈。然后进行补充，说教师的工资水平要与其教学能力成绩相挂钩，而不是一味的以外界的标准来衡量，否则搞的老师也向学生一样要投热门专业了，哈哈

写的时候对提纲进行了细微的修改。

Whether a school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school? I hold the opposite point of view. Although a school or college sometimes might disobey the economic rules for some purpose, generally speaking, teachers should be paid according to the salary level of related fields outside.

What should be noticed firstly（first就可以了） is that teachers' payments in a school cannot be considered insularly. In such a marketing-economic society today（感觉today有点鸡肋）, a school is inevitably a member of the economic link of the whole society. Teachers' payments as part of a school’s finance will be not only affected but also decided primarily by the marketing-economic rules（这里是不是改成will not only be affected but…..as well好点？） , factors of which（用whose factors怎么样呢？）
restrict others reciprocally. So it is impossible to insolate a school with outside world（需要加world吗？） and discuss its teachers' income, no mention to set the salary policy solely without consider（considering） the influence from outside. （这两个前后分句有体现出作者以为的那种关系吗？）

What is more（这是问句？用Moreover吧！）, serious brain drains of the hot subjects can be avoided（只能说减弱程度，怎么能说can be avoided呢？） if teachers’ payments are set according to those outside of school. As a common sense, salary is one of the key factors taken into account when one is choosing jobs（用choose好吗？）. If a school cannot assure（这本来就不太可能assure到的） a teacher of hot subject the same income level as other companies or entrepreneurs do in the related fields outside of school, it is highly possible for him or her to make a job-hopping for higher salaries. For the same reason, job-seekers would rather take other choices than enter the school to be a teacher, which with the losing of the present teachers would both weaken the school's competitive power in appealing to specialists with high abilities. And as a result, it might lost the students market, which is a strong problem related to the school’s existence. Such brain drains of course can be forestalled（同样的问题，只能减弱） by introducing the reasonable salary policy, which will ensure their payments at least as much as they can receive outside of school, smoothing their trouble back at home and increasing the stability and competitiveness of the school.

Next, to pay teachers according to outside salary level rather than pay them at the same rate regardless which discipline they are teaching can protect the enthusiasm of teachers in popular disciplines. Taken as an example, if a teacher in a school finds that despite the same hard working, what he/she gains cannot be mentioned in the same breath with his/her friends in the same field out of school, and at the same time, his/her colleagues in cold subjects are found paid much more than outside levels, how could he/she feel then? Disappointment is the only answer. Bad mood would be taken into his/her work and influence the effect and efficiency of his/her teaching process. To escape from such a plight, it is very important to guarantee those teachers' income levels by the policy treating disciplines respectively and setting payments according to outside levels.

Admittedly, as I point（一般时不恰当吧！） out at the beginning, a school or a college may break the rules under special circumstance, which is the case referring to the cold disciplines, people in related fields of which might be paid very low in outside world. However, cold disciplines do not equal to useless subjects to the society, and by the contrary, they are necessary part of the scientific world, such as geography and researches of rare languages of human beings. With an eye to protect teachers in such fields, schools should enhance their income appropriately to motivate their valuable researches and teaching jobs.

In sum, it is unrealistic to acquire a school or a college to pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines. Rather, a salary policy should be usually adopted that teachers' income should be kept balance with that out of school although exceptions exist.（640words）

imongUID: 140258

Whether a school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school? （为啥不用Should开头？）I hold the opposite point of view. Although a school or college sometimes might disobey（用词不当） the economic rules（principle吧？） for some purpose, generally speaking, teachers should be paid according to the salary level of related fields outside.（outside where?）

What should be noticed firstly is that teachers' payments in a school cannot be considered insularly（seems to be 罕见用法...）. In such a marketing-economic society today, a school is inevitably a member（chain in the link？） of the economic link of the whole society. Teachers' payments as part of a school’s finance will be not only affected but also decided（连词用了并列，动词用了递进，一标准不协调） primarily by the marketing-economic rules（rule....谁规定的？恐怕“制定规则”和“客观规律”不一样吧？）, factors of which restrict others reciprocally. So it is impossible to insolate（多了个n？） a school with（isolate from） outside world and discuss its teachers' income, no mention to set the salary policy solely（连续3个词都用的不太舒服） without consider the influence from outside.

What is more, serious brain drains of the hot subjects （没看懂，什么意思？）can be avoided if teachers’ payments are set according to those outside of school. As a common sense, salary is one of the key factors taken into account when one is choosing jobs. If a school cannot assure a teacher of hot subject the same income level as other companies or entrepreneurs do in the related fields outside of （outside已经是介词了）school, it is highly possible for him or her（来个什么candidate或者实习生啊之类的词） to make a job-hopping for higher salaries. For the same reason,（好像和前面说的是一回事，感觉一个意思又说了一遍？） job-seekers would rather take other choices than enter the school to be a teacher, which with the losing（lost） of the present teachers would both weaken the school's competitive power （competence）in appealing to specialists with high abilities. And as a result, it might lost the students market, which is（further rendering....没觉得这样的结构其实并不是很舒服吗？） a strong problem related to the school’s existence. Such brain drains of course can be forestalled by introducing the reasonable salary policy, which will ensure their payments at least as much as they can receive outside of school, smoothing their trouble back at home and increasing the stability and competitiveness of the school.

Next, to pay teachers according to outside salary level rather than（to） pay them at the same rate regardless which discipline they are teaching can protect（鼓励rather than 保护） the enthusiasm of teachers in popular disciplines. Taken as an example（@_@）, if a teacher in a school finds that despite the same hard working, what he/she gains cannot be mentioned in the same breath with his/her friends in the same field out of school, and at the same time, his/her colleagues in cold subjects are found paid much more than outside levels, how could he/she（统统用复数就不存在he/she的问题了） feel then? Disappointment is（will be） the only answer（result/outcome）. Bad mood would be taken into his/her work and influence the effect and efficiency of his/her teaching process. To escape from such a plight, it is very important to guarantee those teachers' income levels by the policy treating disciplines respectively and setting payments according to outside levels.

Admittedly, as I point（have pointed，从现在开始每篇的语态时态问题自己检查，语态稍微变化一下意思全变掉） out at the beginning, a school or a college may break the rules（again，谁规定了这个rule？） under special circumstance, which is the case referring to the cold（......） disciplines, people in related fields of which might be paid very low in outside world. However, cold disciplines do not equal to useless subjects to the society, and by the contrary, they are necessary part of the scientific world, such as geography and researches of rare languages of human beings. With an eye to protect （这里可以用maintain）teachers in such fields, schools should enhance their income appropriately to motivate their valuable researches and teaching jobs. （这里为什么是admittedly？？我觉得从all the same先绕到市场规律，再绕到反市场规律，绕得有点乱了......再回去看这一段，是怎么respond to “should pay all the same”的？我觉得看得不是太好）

In sum, it is unrealistic to acquire a school or a college to pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines. Rather, a salary policy should be usually adopted that teachers' income should be kept balance with that out of school although exceptions exist.（640words）

eaglezhouUID: 156651

你楼上的是偶：eaglezhou（因为偶怀疑你认错人了）
哪里有什么师傅？还是觉得偶水平不济要找师傅？
莫名ing

=====

抱歉了
本来说的是genie的:D:p

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

占座。

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

Issue32
A school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school. For example, entry-level teachers in mathematics and in the arts should receive the same pay, even if outside of school, math specialists earn a much higher salary on average than do specialists in the arts.

立场：反对should not(带有一定让步)

1.反对立场，学校不应当给不同学科的老师同样的工资待遇。顺应外界工资标准时，也应当有所调节。
2.外围段：学校处于经济社会中，也是市场经济链条的一部分。教师的收入属于学校财政，而学校财政是和外界市场密不可分的。
3. 收入是高水平教师选择工作单位的重要标准，与外界收入不均衡，将很难吸引热门领域人才，使学校失去竞争力。
4. 收入均衡将打击部分教师的积极性，导致已有教师人才流失。
5.让步段：出于保护冷门学科，学校也应当注意调整冷门领域的教师收入，以防止冷门领域教师转行。
6.总结

写的时候对提纲进行了细微的修改。

Whether a school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school? I hold the opposite point of view. [U]Although a school or college sometimes might disobey the economic rules for some purpose, generally speaking, teachers should be paid according to the salary level of related fields outside.[/U] 看了你的提纲以后，再看你的文章中心句觉得不妥：中心句强调的是一个经济规则body后面两端似乎和这个方面没有联系，

What should be noticed firstly is that teachers' payments in a school cannot be considered insularly. In such a marketing-economic society today, a school is inevitably a member of the economic link of the whole society. Teachers' payments as part of a school’s finance will be not only affected but also decided primarily by the marketing-economic rules, factors of which restrict others reciprocally. 大致理解你的意思，可是学校在经济链中为什么就要按照经济规律发配工资，这个关系还是要花更多的篇幅解释清楚。So it is impossible to insolate a school withfrom outside world and discuss its teachers' income, no mention to似乎没有递进关系 set the salary policy solely without considering
the influence from outside.

根据你的中心句，这一段应该作为重点，但是论证的就一句话，需要加强。

What is more, serious brain drains of the hot subjects can be avoided if teachers’ payments are set according to those outside of school. As a没有a common sense, salary is one of the key factors taken into account when one is choosing jobs. If a school cannot assure a teacher of hot subject the same income level as other companies or entrepreneurs do in the related fields outside of school, it is highlyvery possible for him or her to make a job-hopping for higher salaries. For the same reason, job-seekers would rather take other choices than enter the school to be a teacher, which with the losing of the present teachers would both weaken the school's competitive power in appealing to specialists with high abilities. And as a result, it might lost the students market, which is a strong problem related to the school’s existence. Such brain drains of course can be forestalled by introducing the reasonable salary policy, which will ensure their payments at least as much as they can receive outside of school, smoothing their trouble back at home and increasing the stability and competitiveness of the school.

Next, to pay teachers according to outside salary level rather than pay them at the same rate regardless which discipline they are teaching can protect the enthusiasm of teachers in popular disciplines. Taken as an example, if a teacher in a school finds that despite the same hard working, what he/she gains cannot be mentioned in the same breath with his/her friends in the same field out of school, and at the same time, his/her colleagues in cold subjects are found paid much more than outside levels, how could he/she feel then? Disappointment is the only answer. Bad mood would be taken into his/her work and influence the effect and efficiency of his/her teaching process. To escape from such a plight, it is very important to guarantee those teachers' income levels by the policy treating disciplines respectively and setting payments according to outside levels.

到这里，我觉得一个很重要的问题出来了：body第一部分提出的经济规律实际上在下面两段具体的解释出来了，因为归根结底这些问题导致了学校也要最从市场规律啊～～那么文章的中心句是没有问题了 可是整个论证部分的结构需要调整了。


Admittedly, as I point out at the beginning, a school or a college may break the rules under special circumstance, which is the case referring to the cold disciplines, people in related fields of which might be paid very low in outside world. However, cold disciplines do not equal to useless subjects to the society, and by the contrary, they are necessary part of the scientific world, such as geography and researches of rare languages of human beings. With an eye to protect teachers in such fields, schools should enhance their income appropriately to motivate their valuable researches and teaching jobs.

In sum, it is unrealistic to acquire a school or a college to pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines. Rather, a salary policy should be usually adopted that teachers' income should be kept balance with that out of school although exceptions exist.（640words）

body部分的两个论断还算充分，但是个人认为文章结构需要调整。其他问题还在思考中，再讨论吧。

hattyUID: 141246

[好久没有见姐姐了，当然，也许是自己太懒又贪玩吧，疯玩了两周~~也没有怎么上gter
不过夜里怎么没有见姐姐呢？
十几天前占的座位，现在补上吧，要不然心里一直惦记着事情，一开电脑心里就老想着。。。]
Issue32
A school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school. For example, entry-level teachers in mathematics and in the arts should receive the same pay, even if outside of school, math specialists earn a much higher salary on average than do specialists in the arts.

立场：反对should not(带有一定让步)

1.反对立场，学校不应当给不同学科的老师同样的工资待遇。顺应外界工资标准时，也应当有所调节。
2.外围段：学校处于经济社会中，也是市场经济链条的一部分。教师的收入属于学校财政，而学校财政是和外界市场密不可分的。
3. 收入是高水平教师选择工作单位的重要标准，与外界收入不均衡，将很难吸引热门领域人才，使学校失去竞争力。
4. 收入均衡将打击部分教师的积极性，导致已有教师人才流失。
5.让步段：出于保护冷门学科，学校也应当注意调整冷门领域的教师收入，以防止冷门领域教师转行。
6.总结

写的时候对提纲进行了细微的修改。

Whether a school or college should pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines, regardless of differences in salaries for related fields in the world outside of school? I hold the opposite point of view. Although a school or college sometimes might disobey the economic rules for some purpose, generally speaking, teachers should be paid according to the salary level of related fields outside.[先改写题目，然后一句话提出自己观点，以及理由。姐姐开头不错。]

What should be noticed firstly is that teachers' payments in a school cannot be considered insularly. In such a marketing-economic society today, a school is inevitably a member of the economic link of the whole society. Teachers' payments as part of a school’s finance will be not only affected but also decided primarily by the marketing-economic rules, factors of which restrict others reciprocally. So it is impossible to insolate[暴晒？or isolate] a school with[isolate后面的介词要用from，查字典，里面没有加with的用法] outside world and discuss its teachers' income, no mention to set the salary policy solely without consider[considering] the influence from outside[换个说法吧，同这句话的前半句重复的厉害，别扭].

What is more, serious brain drains of the hot subjects[这里少一个过渡吧，热门学科或者专业就一定要很费脑子么？] can be avoided if teachers’ payments are set according to those outside of school. [这句不太懂啊。。。想表达什么？看到后来，感觉是不是想说那些学科少了，或者老师少了，但是读起来感觉象有那些学科，但是不再费脑子了。。。同后面的文字有什么关系？另外，是不是这段的topic sentence呢？]As a common sense, salary is one of the key factors taken into account when one is choosing jobs. If a school cannot assure a teacher of hot subject the same income level as other companies or entrepreneurs do in the related fields outside of school, it is highly possible for him or her to make a job-hopping for [？]higher salaries. For the same reason, job-seekers would rather take other choices than enter the school to be a teacher, which with the losing of the present teachers[with结构放到后面是不是更流畅些] would both [那里的both]weaken the school's competitive power in appealing to specialists with high abilities. And as a result, it might lost the students market, which is a strong problem related to the school’s existence. Such brain drains of course can be forestalled by introducing the reasonable salary policy, which will ensure their payments at least as much as they can receive outside of school, smoothing their trouble back at home and increasing the stability and competitiveness of the school.[结尾比较清晰]

Next, to pay teachers according to outside salary level rather than pay them at the same rate[罗嗦了] regardless [加of]which discipline they are teaching can protect the enthusiasm of teachers in popular disciplines. Taken as an example, if a teacher in a school finds that despite the same hard working, what he/she gains cannot be mentioned in the same breath with his/her friends in the same field out of school, and at the same time, his/her colleagues in cold subjects are found paid much more than outside levels, how could he/she feel then? Disappointment is the only answer. Bad mood would be taken into his/her work and influence the effect and efficiency of his/her teaching process. To escape from such a plight, it is very important to guarantee those teachers' income levels by the policy treating disciplines respectively and setting payments according to outside levels.
[个人觉得，第一个body和第二个说差不多的意思。。。当然，细微的差别很多，但是如果合在一起说，写成一段，是不是避免了很多重复与冗余？讨论中]

Admittedly, as I point[时态] out at the beginning, a school or a college may break the rules under special circumstance, which is the case referring to the cold disciplines, [加and或者另起一句]people in related fields of which might be paid very low in outside world. However, cold disciplines do not equal to useless subjects to the society, and by the contrary, they are necessary part[parts] of the scientific world, such as geography and researches of rare languages of human beings. With an eye to protect teachers in such fields, schools should enhance their income appropriately to motivate their valuable researches and teaching jobs. [让步段写的比较清晰]

In sum, it is unrealistic to acquire[？] a school or a college to pay its teachers at the same rate in all disciplines. Rather, a salary policy should be usually adopted that teachers' income should be kept balance with that out of school although exceptions exist.（640words）[结尾也写的不错]

[整体上，姐姐的语言我就不说了，用词的功力一直让我佩服，这里，虽然还是翻了好多字典，但是证明姐姐是对的 ：）

结构上，逻辑上，整体感觉不是很清晰，我写在段子里一些，别的还是希望有机会再讨论

自我感觉批的有点狠了，也不一定都对，还是说，姐姐，我们再讨论吧。另外，拖了这么长时间，不好意思了。。。]