issue128 [color=quartz]Chapter2.1 作业（二）教育 请多多指教

gra cie0213UID: 157500

第二份作业，请大家多多指教，不胜感谢的说
这篇文章写得真是曲折,一向“很乖”的电脑中途居然死机两次, 还遇上停电半小时SIGH


ISSUE128"It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. In reality, however, formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free."

To free the mind and the spirit is one of various education purposes, which, however, is often overlooked by formal education nowadays.

There is a diverse array of education purposes. One of them is to make human beings knowledgeable, which is considered as primary goal of education by many schools. As current principal of Tokyo University once said (and I paraphrase):“One of the most important tasks of Tokyo University is to disseminate knowledge to the society.” The reason why some educators take imparting knowledge as one purposes of education is probably that as we all know, knowledge plays a more and more important part in the development of society presently while other than schools there is no proper place that can take on the task of enlightening human beings. Besides, cultivating the social responsibility such protecting environment, standing in line when waiting for the bus and the like, which can make society more harmonious, and creating the habit of organized thinking and of rational analysis, which can be helpful when one learn new knowledge are both education objectives.

What about freeing the mind and the spirit? Is it also the purpose of education? The answer to the second question is doubtless yes. In 19th century, the founder of Berlin University set out a principal that advocates academic free, learning free and teaching free which is considered as the basic principal of most universities nowadays. The aim of this principal is no other than to create a free academic environment and free the mind and the spirit of students. The people whose mind and spirit are freed may think what they have learned critically rather than accepting them passively; may have active spirits as well as be eager to absorbing knowledge of their own accord; and may be creative, all of which are of benefit not only to the individuals but also to the society. Just as John Henry, Cardinal Newman said (and I paraphrase), knowledge is something more than a sort of passive reception of scraps and details, and only free mind people can digest and apply it well. It is no wonder that many educators state that one of the purpose of education is to free the mind and spirit. Based on the discussion above, we make easily make conclusion that to free mind and the spirit is one but not the only one purpose of education.

Although a great many of educators keep in mind that freeing mind and the spirit is one purpose of education, referring to implement they often drive to the contrary direction. One need not go further than look the example of formal education, which is largely characterized by classroom teaching, home work, tutorials, practical exercises, excursions etc. Each section of the formal education consists of a sequence of courses offered according to clearly marked curricula and normally also the syllabi are prescribed. What teachers do is to unceasingly present the book knowledge on the blackboard and stuff students' minds and brains with the dead facts. As for my university, we students spend most of our time in reciting outdated materials printed in the books in order not to fail in the exams and no teacher encourage us to think more which is also unnecessary if we only want to graducate. And as I known this phenomenon is prevalent in formal education all over the world.

In conclusion，in today’s education, overlooking the importance of freeing the mind and the spirit which is one of the various purposes of education is a prevailing phenomena.

六翼小宇UID: 162533

嘿嘿，跟我的笔记本一样命苦

gra cie0213UID: 157500

唉，它也不能和ISSUE一起折腾我嘛，
不过最近对它太残忍了～

伞下UID: 170129

可以啦，我们这老停电。让你看着它不能用。恨得牙痒。

伞下UID: 170129

ISSUE128"It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit. In reality, however, formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free."

To free the mind and the spirit is one of various education purposes, which, however, is often overlooked by formal education nowadays. [开头太简单了点吧,而且只是描述了一下当前现实,并不算你的观点]

There is a diverse array of education purposes. One of them is to make human beings knowledgeable, which is considered as primary goal of education by many schools. As current principal of Tokyo University once said (and I paraphrase):“One of the most important tasks of Tokyo University is to disseminate knowledge to the society.” The reason why some educators take imparting knowledge as one purposes of education is probably that as we all know, knowledge plays a more and more important part in the development of society presently while other than schools there is no proper [place?institution?] that can take on the task of enlightening human beings. Besides, cultivating the social responsibility such protecting environment, standing in line when waiting for the bus and the like, which can make society more harmonious, and creating the habit of organized thinking and of rational analysis, which can be helpful when one learn new knowledge are both education objectives. [这一段和题目有关系，但是太远了,和需要论证的没逻辑联系]

What about freeing the mind and the spirit? Is it also the purpose of education? The answer to the second question is doubtless yes. In 19th century, the founder of Berlin University set out a principal that advocates academic free, learning free and teaching free which is considered as the basic principal of most universities nowadays. The aim of this principal is no other than to create a free academic environment and free the mind and the spirit of students. The people [whose mind and spirit are freed]who have free mind and spirit may think[inspect] what they have learned critically rather than accepting them passively; may have active spirits as well as be eager to absorbing knowledge of their own accord; and may be creative, all of which are of benefit not only to the individuals but also to the society. Just as John Henry, Cardinal Newman said (and I paraphrase), knowledge is something more than a sort of passive reception of scraps and details, and only free mind people can digest and apply it well. It is no wonder that many educators state that one of the purpose of education is to free the mind and spirit. Based on the discussion above, we make easily make conclusion that to free mind and the spirit is one but not the only one purpose of education.[这段太独立了,和教育现状没关系了]

Although a great many of educators keep in mind that freeing mind and the spirit is one purpose of education, referring to implement they often drive to the contrary direction. One need not go further than look the example of formal education, which is largely characterized by classroom teaching, home work, tutorials, practical exercises, excursions etc. Each section of the formal education consists of a sequence of courses offered according to clearly marked curricula and normally also the syllabi are prescribed. What teachers do is to unceasingly present the book knowledge on the blackboard and stuff students' minds and brains with the dead facts. As for my university, we students spend most of our time in reciting outdated materials printed in the books in order not to fail in the exams and no teacher encourage us to think more which is also unnecessary if we only want to [graducate]错了吧. And as I known this phenomenon is prevalent in formal education all over the world.[这一句话多少有点武断吧,按你的说法,在正规教育的模式下，都不可能达到free的目的了;而且 all over the world这是一个多么严重的词语啊]

In conclusion，in today’s education, overlooking the importance of freeing the mind and the spirit which is one of the various purposes of education is a prevailing phenomena.

看完了.这篇名言满多,语句也满流畅.就是整个感觉仅仅只是一般性的描述而且还乱了点,没有达到ISSUE所要求的论证.论调也悲观了点.事实上,我们的教育一直在改革,而且在国外,他们做得也比我们好很多,一直提倡的变应试教育为素质教育,大体也就是想达到这样一个目的啊.如果说正规教育只能束缚人们心灵和思想，那为什么还有那么多国家要强调正规教育呢?那不是越教越傻了吗?只能说目前形式可能有所偏离教育目标,像你第三段说的那样。学生忙着背书了.但是不能因此就整个否认了正规教育.我想想,大概可以重新组织一下.第一段写教育现状(也就是你现在的第三段),第二段写这种情况可能带来的弊病,比如说限制自由思维和批评性思考等，然后再写一段,应该是强调正规教育的作用，尤其是在给人们必要的知识以进行 free thinking 而不是 myth. 反正一定要有一个观点.这篇觉得你观点就不是很正确.当然观点本身是没有错对之分的，你非要否定教育也可以,但是一定要有相关的证据或者公认的事实，而不是"I know...".开头结尾太短了.

建议以后写每篇之前多看别人的提纲,自己写好提纲以后仔细检查,看每一点能证明什么,是不是和自己的总观点有联系.互相之间是不是有联系.不然会有点乱.好了。加油.也@!

gra cie0213UID: 157500

谢谢伞下JJ如此细致的批改，
我说一下论证思路吧，我的写作重心放在第一句，观点就是解放思想和精神是教育的目的之一，而现在former education的确忽视了它
1）教育的目的是多方面的
2）解放思想和精神也是其中一个目的
3）但是在正规教育的确是遏制学生的思维和精神
不知道这样破题行不行？

gra cie0213UID: 157500

最初由 伞下 发布
[B]),第二段写这种情况可能带来的弊病,比如说限制自由思维和批评性思考等，然后再写一段,应该是强调正规教育的作用，尤其是在给人们必要的知识以进行 free thinking 而不是 myth. 反正一定要有一个观点   [/B]

如果要按is和should来分的话，我认为这题是is型，用阅读的观点，是不是可以理解为现象解释型？
那么论证重心是不是不能放在该不该强调正规教育的作用？而是阐述正规教育忽视解放思想和精神的现象是不是存在？

唉，完全晕了～

buggodUID: 164979

终于找到jj的文章了

看了伞下的论述，我也受益匪浅
看自己文章还看不出来，看别人的就有点感觉了
我觉得刚开始写都有点“就是整个感觉仅仅只是一般性的描述而且还乱了点,没有达到ISSUE所要求的论证.”
看起来没有那种一气呵成的感觉，昨天研读新概念，尤其看了整体思路和过度句的衔接，才明白逻辑论证是什么意思

detail_yyyUID: 167745

最初由 gra cie0213 发布
[B]如果要按is和should来分的话，我认为这题是is型，用阅读的观点，是不是可以理解为现象解释型？
那么论证重心是不是不能放在该不该强调正规教育的作用？而是阐述正规教育忽视解放思想和精神的现象是不是存在？
[/B]

严重同意:)  花了差不多一天时间，仔细研读imong的is和should才明白的。

我觉得你的论证思路挺好的。

BTW: 你可真勤奋，每天都有新作 :)

buggodUID: 164979

仔细看了一遍，依照你的提纲
1）教育的目的是多方面的
2）解放思想和精神也是其中一个目的
3）但是在正规教育的确是遏制学生的思维和精神
总觉得没有一个中心，尤其是手段也没有给出一个论点来。
题目应该更加倾向于要我们论证form education和free mind的关系，而这篇文章只在最后一段提出并且太绝对了

lakeqianUID: 157560

原题是想要你论rather than是否成立（事实类）

It is often asserted that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit是背景交待吧。参见
[追星剑特训] Chapter1_7 Supreme 练习：
no.4 KitKat：
拿108当个例子来剖析一下自己的判断

issue108. "In many countries it is now possible to turn on the television and view government at work. Watching these proceedings can help people understand the issues that affect their lives. The more kinds of government proceedings --- trials, debates, meetings, etc --- that are televised, the more society will benefit."

第一句话 交代一个现实 "在许多国家电视实况转播处于工作状态的政府机构成为可能"
然后一个句号就搞定了 我们都知道 这种description和narration的句子是根本没有debate的理由和余地的
它出现的理由 就是给你一个信息

gra cie0213UID: 157500

to: lakeqian
我也不确定能不能把重点放前面
ISSUE93"The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making."
下面狒狒的分析：个人职责的概念，是必要的fiction 我个人理解fiction作用比较大，应当是关键词之一。然后说：尽管社会认为个人对行为负责，但实际上并非如此，而是被非个人本身的力量所决定。实则后面一句是默认前提，而第一句则是论断，分析到这儿，就发现necessary比较重要了。那么我们选择立意就有几条路了：1。承认fiction，分析是否necessary 2。考虑前提的正确性，也就是质疑fiction的正确性，那么就可以分析是外力还是个力决定了人们的行为，还是两者都有，那么孰重孰轻？这时看到题目中的largely就有用了，又一个key word。

我顺这个思路想，有一点用1+1破题的倾向
另外觉得这题和你说的108有点不一样。如果用1+1分析，我倾向拆后面两句，那么思路又是一样的了

现在对如何破题很是头痛~

detail_yyyUID: 167745

我觉得rather than是一个关键词吧。相当于More
需要分析restrain our minds and spirits 是不是比set them free的现象更多
不知道这样破题对不对

gra cie0213UID: 157500

刚才lakeqian也提到这个问题
根据The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language的解释，rather than 只有and not和instead of ，因此我认为是两者取其一吧，应该没有涉及比较
不知道我的看法对否？

detail_yyyUID: 167745

rather than确实是你说的两个意思，我对它的理解看来一直都有问题 :(

这个题目我再想想。。。