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[经典批改讨论] Issue70 机经题目+condition写法学习 [复制链接]

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楼主
发表于 2004-7-26 15:47:23 |只看该作者

Issue70 机经题目+condition写法学习

Issue 70
------题目------
In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership.
------正文------
Should anyone no matter what profession he or she is in step down after five years? Is revitalization the surest way to ensure success for any enterprises? The speaker's claim amounts to an unfairly generalization. I agree that in certain fields such as business politics or government it may be the case, but when it comes to education, it may be not.

The first and foremost goal of a company, as we can see, is to make it the most competitive and profitable enterprise. Revitalization through new leadership serves for this end. With the alternation of the leaders, it brings to the company a new flash of thoughts and ideas as well as a free flow of working styles. It is these fresh forces that lead the corporate to maintain competitiveness, to keep pace with the trends and to meet the needs of current market. The global first CEO Jack Welch brings immediately to mind. He had created the world’s most competitive enterprise but it is at Welch’s peak of career that he selected Jeff Immelt as his successor to lead GE even farther. This aptly illustrate that however capable you are, infusing new blood to the corporate should always be put on the first priority.

It is precisely the same with a nation or government. By replacing the official leaders periodically, it may help the government to get rid of the bureaucracy and truly eliminate the leading boundaries. On a national scale, the civilian election of new leaders will not only promote the democratic politics but also imbue the country with a lot of talented and competent persons. Furthermore, it aids to prevent the country from despotism or tyranny, which is obviously detrimental to successful politics. George Washington, for instance, presided over the Second Constitutional Convention and was elected the first President of the United States at 1789. But he shunned a third reappointment and set a paradigm for all of his followers. Were there no such regulations then, the United States would never be the United States today.

Nevertheless, when turning to education, things maybe totally different. The key to successful education lies in experienced mentoring which requires long-term communication between the students and teachers. Education is by no means an abrupt course. Only by providing them plenty of time can they understand each other and overcome the common problems they have met. Energetic as some young teachers maybe, but what really counts for outstanding education is the accumulated mentoring experience. There is no denying that new instructors will also make progress in their teaching, but not at their nascent stage.

In the final analysis, revitalization plays a crucial role in ensuring the success in terms of business, politics and government. As to education, however, it is mentoring experience that should take the priority in pursuit of notable education.

B1:在商业领域,职位的更替可以保证企业的竞争力,为公司注入新的想法和创意。
B2:在政府,政治层面,领导的换届可以防止专政,消除官僚等级,能者为上。
B3:在教育领域,活力更新可能并非首要,教学经验占据更加重要的地位。

Ps:写完后发现好像分领域condition的时候关键词surest path to success把握地还不够,不知道算不算跑题啊,晕~~~~~~
If I'm who I am because I'm who I am and you're who you are because you are who you are, then I'm who I am and you're who you are.   

If,on the other hand, I'm who I am because you're who you are, and if you are who you are because I'm who I am, then I'm not who I am and you're not who you are.

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沙发
发表于 2004-7-26 17:06:29 |只看该作者
Should anyone no matter what profession he or she is [U]in [/U] (去掉) step down after five years? Is revitalization the surest way to ensure success for any enterprises? The speaker's claim amounts to an unfairly generalization. I agree that in certain fields such as business politics or [U]government (politics government好象不是fields吧) [/U]  it may be the case, but when it comes to educational, it may be not.

The first and foremost goal of a company, as we can see, is to make it the most competitive and profitable enterprise. Revitalization through new leadership serves for this end. With the alternation of the leaders, it brings to the company a new flash of thoughts and ideas as well as a free flow of working styles. It is these fresh forces that lead the corporate to maintain competitiveness, to keep pace with the trends and to meet the needs of current market. The global First CEO Jack Welch brings immediately to mind. He had created the world’s most competitive enterprise but it is at Welch’s peak of career that he selected Jeff Immelt as his successor to lead GE even farther. This aptly illustrate that however capable you are, infusing new blood to the corporate should always be put on the first priority.

It is precisely the same with a nation or government. By replacing the official leaders periodically, it may help the government to get rid of the bureaucracy and truly eliminate the leading boundaries. On a national scale, the civilian election of new leaders will not only promote the democratic politics but also imbue the country with a lot of talented and competent persons. Furthermore, it aids to prevent the country from despotism or tyranny, which is obviously detrimental to successful politics. George Washington, for instance, presided over the Second Constitutional Convention and was elected the first President of the United States at 1789. But he shunned a third reappointment and set a paradigm for all of his followers. Were there no such regulations then, the United States would never be the United States today.

Nevertheless, when it comes to education, things maybe totally different. The key to successful education lies in experienced mentoring which requires long-term communication between the students and teachers. Education is by no means an abrupt course. Only by providing them plenty of time can they understand each other and overcome the common problems they have met. Energetic as some young teachers maybe, but what really counts for outstanding education is the accumulated mentoring experience. There is no denying that new instructors will also make progress in their teaching, but not at their nascent stage.

In the final analysis, revitalization plays a crucial role in ensuring the success in terms of business, politics and government. As to education, however, it is mentoring experience that should take the priority in pursuit of notable education.

我觉得你的写法很新颖啊,语言和结构都不错。
可是实战中,是否可以这么写值得商榷。
我觉得楼主很显然是想说某些领域可以这样,某些不能
为什么不用两个body段分别写能这样的,和不能这样,然后在用一段做个让步,表明事情也不能太绝对呢?
希望能和大家一起讨论
QQ:23457113

Victories belong to those who believe them most and longest!

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板凳
发表于 2004-7-26 18:31:05 |只看该作者
先顶再看~~~
hehehe

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地板
发表于 2004-7-27 16:32:59 |只看该作者
来,我的提纲 partial agree
1.不让位影响发展:1.形成固定思维,没有创新2.权力集中化,形成独裁3.从自己身利益出发
2.让位可以培养新人,否则没机会给他们.
3.在位时间应当再斟酌,长短应根据leader的实际能力确定.能者为上.

没什么好例子:(
不想长大
我只愿,面朝大海,春暖花开

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RE: Issue70 机经题目+condition写法学习 [修改]

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