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Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
With the development of modern mass media, scandals are almost ubiquitous. Hardly can a day go by without some news reporting scandals involving high-profiles politicians, athletes or movie stars. While it is true that scandals often attract public attention and may expose certain problems, I do not believe that they are useful in solving social problems as they often focus public attention on the wrong issues and can hardly maintain public attention for a sufficiently long time. After elaborating these two points, I will also address the argument that scandals can usefully create pressure for the government to introduce reforms.
To begin with, the attention from the public after a scandal does not necessarily focus on the right issue.(point) Take the Clinton scandal and impeachment for example. (information) With the release of Starr report, the Clinton scandal has attracted the national and even international media attention.(information) But the majority of American people seem to find it more interesting to talk about whether or not President Clinton had sex with Monica Lewinsky.(information) They would even get into the debate over whether oral sex would count as sex. (information) But the real issue that should capture public attention is whether or not the President had lied and still deserved the trust of American people.(elaboration) With the media always interested in reporting sensational news, the Clinton scandal failed to focus public attention on the right issue and therefore was not very useful for the development of American politics. (elaboration)
In addition, when a scandal is involved in powerful corporation, a professional public relations team will very quickly take actions to address the crisis and divert the public attention from the right issues. (point) The oil giant BP, for example, was responsible for the oil rig explosion in 2013 and subsequent oil spill in the gulf of Mexico.(information) During the scandal of this ecological disaster, BP hired a sophisticated PR team to launch a massive campaign to paint themselves as victims of tort law suits and shift media attention from the aftermath of the oil spill.(information) The large corporations like BP has the large amount of financial resources at their disposal to manipulate the media and the public opinions when necessary. (information) As the public is often forgetful while overwhelmed by the news and scandals, it is fairly easy for them to get away from such scandals. (elaboration) In other words, one cannot really rely on scandals to solve problems involving big corporations. (elaboration)
Some people may argue that scandals are still useful in creating pressure to push the government to reform.(point) For example, after the scandal of Sun Zhigang, a Chinese university graduate who was tortured and killed in Guangzhou Center for the Homeless, Chinese government has abolished the institution of arresting the homeless in the large cities. (information) While this case leads to some desirable outcome, it is doubtful that we should count on scandals like this to reform a nation’s legal and social infrastructure. (elaboration) To fix the numerous problems in a modern society, the best solution is to educate the people about their rights so people can speak up against injustice when their rights are violated.(elaboration) We cannot just overlook the injustice in our daily life and wait for scandals to fix the problems in our society. (elaboration)
In conclusion, while I acknowledge that certain scandals may eventually lead to some progress in our society, most scandals are not very useful in reforming the society as the public often focus their attention on the wrong issues and the powerful corporations can easily divert public attention through their public relations campaigns. To achieve real progress in social development, we need better education to increase people’s awareness of their rights and their sense of justice.
17)Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
我写提纲时搭建框架所用的方法是第2种 从三个角度看待这个命题 the side effect of the exam ; the teaching methods ; the benefits of the orientation by the formal education
我的提纲如下
开头段全文:
As far as the statement concerned, the education we received has the tendency to circumscribe our minds and spirits, instead of set them free. To some extend, we can't deny the fact that the formal education, aims at free the student from ignorance, has counterproductive effects on students.It restrict the students' mind and spirits in its teaching methods and the evaluation of student's performance by the exams. Meanwhile, on the contrary, the formal education indeed benefits the students by orienting the students in the developing of their brain, set the students free in some degree.
主题句1
具体例子或细节
The teaching methods, which more or less serves as a way in repeating the truth and the rationality,
Example : history class
Reason : The teacher just teaches the facts , less inspire the students to seek the causes and effects behind,or to raise questions in class, blocks the students' ability to thinking independ and innovative.
中间段:
The teaching methods, which more or less serves as a way in repeating the truth and the rationality, seldom enlighten the students to explore on their own. (point)For example, in the history class, what the teachers convey are the facts happened in the past, rarely do they inspire the students to seek the causes and effects behind or to raise questions in class. (information) It has the tendency that our pupils are more imaginary and eager to quest their teachers than the college students. (information) The outmoded reaching methods block the students' ability to thinking independ and innovative. (elaboration) From this point, we can come to an inclusion that the the formal education has the conterproductive effects, no wonder that now more and more parents favor teaching at home. (elaboration)
主题句2
具体例子或细节
When it comes to what scares the students most, it must be the exams, whether excercises or final exams, more or less harms the student's mental health and leads to less eager to learn. As the evaluation of student's performance, the exams really helps the students to seek the improvements of their study and a feedback to the teachers thus they can teach better. However, with the increasing severe competition, the exams are much hard and frequent.
Example : more exams ; the parents focus more on the scores than what's their child learned
Reason : The more exams the students take, the more tensions they have to take on, which causes them less confident and more anxiety.
中间段:
When it comes to what scares the students most, it must be the exams, whether excercises or final exams, more or less harms the student's mental health and leads to less eager to learn.(point) As the evaluation of student's performance, the exams really helps the students to seek the improvements of their study and a feedback to the teachers thus they can teach better.(information) However, with the increasing severe competition, the exams are much hard and frequent. (information) What's more, parents seem to in favor of this phenomenon, since they values the scores more instead of what their child really learned. (information) The more exams the students take, the more tensions they have to take on, which causes them less confident and more anxiety. (elaboration) Moreover, given the fact that reason for the students to go school is to acquire knowledge, the evaluation of the formal education in turn decreases the student's ethusiasm for the knowledge.(elaboration)
主题句3
具体例子或细节
Even though the formal education nowadays have such drawbacks, to some degree, the formal education indeed benefits the students by orienting the students in the developing of their brain, set the students free.
Example : the science curriculam
Reason : gives the students the bacis ways in soving problems so they can use it to handle more complicated problems, makes their mind more sound and acquire more confidence and pleasures.
中间段:
Even though the formal education nowadays have such drawbacks, to some degree, the formal education indeed benefits the students by orienting the students in the developing of their brain, set the students free.(point) In the science class, the teacher gives the students the bacis knowledges and formulas in soving problems so they can use it to handle more complicated problems, makes their mind more sound and acquires more confidence and pleasures. (information+elaboration) The formal education serves as an instrument in the transforming the knowledge to the ability to solving real problems. (elaboration) No matter how much the exams and how outmoded the mothords are, the science class really do good to the student's mental health and intelligence. (elaboration)
关于这个提纲的写作我有以下感想或困惑
还差个结尾留着下次修改了再写。PIE模型确实比较容易上手。这次写的提纲是正正反的结构,最后一个反的论点以及和前面段落的衔接感觉写的不是很顺,还有写中间段的时候明显觉得思维不够清晰,可能是论点间区分度不够。
几次写作训练的总结:
算是真正意义上的入门了,但是遣词造句方面还是有些问题,希望老师以后的课程里可以讲一下比如如何做到句子错落有致,如果让段落间衔接更紧密~ 还有argument 的assumption 和evidence其实还不是很清楚,可能还需要再看一次视频。
我写的全文 (建议在修改提纲后再写)
我来点评其他网友
楼层:
1)____网友提纲的框架是否合理?
2)____网友提纲所用的例子是否合适?
3)____网友开头段语言方面有哪些问题?
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