issue203 写了挺长时间，请大家拍砖^_^多谢了^_^

renwei2UID: 163742

对，就是这个意思了，自己语言还是太烂，意思表达不完全。

prosaicUID: 162172

兄弟，字数少了点

prosaicUID: 162172

字数也是第一印象，你的520，过600最好。你说呢？

fenglinshengUID: 163490

多谢fyy2001、ritchiepan、renwei2、 prosaic 和 阿秀 的讨论和建议！
的确the Summer Palace代表的是人们对皇权的崇拜，这个论题就要反过来写了，其实反过来写挺好写的，英雄代表的只是人们对他们的崇拜或敬仰！当然sociopolitical herees 除外了，这也是老外280篇的提纲^_^写的不错的，大家可以看看人家怎么写的^_^

最后再次感谢呀^_^

下次大家也都贴出来，一起讨论^_^可以学到好多东西的^_^

flyxwUID: 106489

不好意思，第一次改就不会用变色工具，辛辛苦苦改了的怎么一变色就全没啦？弄的还以为是偶捣蛋：P 偶重来：
The author asserts that to examine the characters of the heroes/heroines is the best way to understand the characters of that society. Based on personal experience and empirical observation [偶觉得这里有点重复，对社会的观察经验不就是个人经验吗]of society, I fundamentally agree with the assertion that the heroes/heroines' characters are represent of their society's and it is the best way to study their society.

To begin with, heroes or heroines are outstanding represents of their society; to study their characters means understanding the whole society's characters. An apt illustration of this point involves the America former president --Abraham Lincoln, who successfully leaded the civil war and emancipated the black slave's rights. If we want to understand the character of American of that time, it is a good means to study the character of Abraham Lincoln, which is the mirror of the civil war in America. We may find that the most America Black people were courage and laborious, and the destiny of America was in chaos at that time. [林肯身上能看出chaos的说？偶觉得这个例子不太能证明论点，为了尽量往上面靠，建议不如将叙述重点改为：反映了美国人民渴望自由平等]Similarly, to study the characters of sports' heroes and heroines, we may learn that their societies were replete with harmony and competition. In a word, the characters of heroes/heroines reflect the characters of their society.[还是觉得例子不是很有力地支持论点，可能原因出在论点太绝对了，建议不如改成：英雄从一定程度反映了社会的喜恶倾向等，或者在B1中作个让步]
Further more, after the study of history, we may find that the history main record the accomplishments of their heroes or heroines. We cannot[can hardly也许更好？因为毕竟不是not at all]find some materials about the common people because the masses are too many to be recorded. I also use the civil war to defend my viewpoint. We can not learn the matter of Jack[跟前面一样,或许这样好一些？detail materials,including his performances and ideas,let alone his character]--a black slave who supported the Abraham Lincoln to emancipate his rights--from the civil war’s history. Only through understanding the characters of Lincoln can we find the traces of the civil war, and further understand the character of American society. It is the same when it comes to understand the characters of ancient Greek; only through studying the characters of heroes or heroines such as Aristotle, Plato, and the like, we can fully understand their society.

Admittedly[看到这里才知道原来有让步的说，建议在开头提一下，这样显得文章比较严谨：）] we must concede that to examine the characters of heroes or heroines is not the only means to understand the characters of their society. To study the historic architectures, for example, also helps us to understand the character of that society[个人觉得architecture不太能表现社会character,art反映的主要是artists的思想，连是否反映其特性都有待商榷的说，对反映social character...] If we want to understand the characters of ancient China, for instance, we not only examine the character of its heroes or its heroines, but also study the miracle, the great architecture such as the Great Wall and the Summer Palace which greatly reveal both the civility of architecture and the virtue of populace in the ancient China. In short, we should strike a balance between studying the characters of heroes or heroines and other facts.

In sum, I hope it has been shown that to examine the characters of heroes or heroines is the best way to understand the characters of their society, but is not the only. Only we carefully examine the characters of heroes or heroines and at the same time put our eyes on other facts such as the architecture, can we understand the characters of that society more thoroughly and accurately.
[我的一点看法：觉得用语还是比较清楚的说，至少没有歧义（比偶好，汗。。），但偶觉得应该注意用语多样
另外，建议多注意例证与论点的切合，以及结构上的问题。
PS:是一个G友给我连接来看看的，我也是新手，有什么不合适的地方大家提出来讨论讨论，互相进步：）]

flyxwUID: 106489

另：还是不会用变色工具，败了。。。是不是偶比较笨啊，麻烦哪位指教一下？

CHERRYlbyUID: 170649

------正文------
The author asserts that to examine the characters of the heroes/heroines is the best way to understand the characters of that society. Based on personal experience and empirical observation of society, I fundamentally agree with the assertion that the heroes/heroines' characters are represent of their society's and it is the best way to study their society.

To begin with, heroes or heroines are outstanding represents of their society; to study their characters means understanding the whole society's characters.个人认为这句话太绝对了 An apt illustration of this point involves the America former president --Abraham Lincoln, who successfully leaded the civil war and emancipated the black slave's rights. If we want to understand the character of American of that time, it is a good means to study the character of Abraham Lincoln, which is the mirror of the civil war in America. We may find that the most America Black people werefull ofcourage and laborious, and the destiny of America was in chaos at that time. Similarly, to study the characters of sports' heroes and heroines, we may learn that their societies were replete with harmony and competition.这个例子应该再做进一步的说明，their society 指的什么？ In a word, the characters of heroes/heroines reflect the characters of their society.

Further more, after the study of history, we may find that the history mainmainly record the accomplishments of their heroes or heroines. We cannot find some materials about the common people because the masses are too many to be recorded. I also use the civil war to defend my viewpoint. We can not learn the matter of Jack--a black slave who supported the Abraham Lincoln to emancipate his rights--from the civil war’s history. Only through understanding the characters of Lincoln can we find the traces of the civil war, and further understand the character of American society. It is the same when it comes to understand the characters of ancient Greek; only through studying the characters of heroes or heroines such as Aristotle, Plato, and the like, we can fully understand their society.我觉得这段的例子举的不贴切，能不能试着说说outstanding的个人是某个小范围的character的代表？换一个TS？

Admittedly, we must concede that to examine the characters of heroes or heroines is not the only means to understand the characters of their society. To study the historic architectures, for example, also helps us to understand the character of that society. If we want to understand the characters of ancient China, for instance, we not only examine the character of its heroes or its heroines, but also study the miracle, the great architecture such as the Great Wall and the Summer Palace which greatly reveal both the civility of architecture and the virtue of populace in the ancient China. In short, we should strike a balance between studying the characters of heroes or heroines and other facts.

In sum, I hope it has been shown that to examine the characters of heroes or heroines is the best way to understand the characters of their society, but is not the only. Only we carefully examine the characters of heroes or heroines and at the same time put our eyes on other facts such as the architecture, can we understand the characters of that society more thoroughly and accurately.
大家互相帮助吧.
祝你成功!:)

fenglinshengUID: 163490

多谢 flyxw 和CHERRYlby的热心修改^_^头一次我的文章这么多人改^_^不过这是写的最烂的，实在不知道怎么下手，痛苦呀！

[B]另：还是不会用变色工具，败了。。。是不是偶比较笨啊，麻烦哪位指教一下？[/B]

其实挺简单，就是把要改的文章粘到变色工具里，然后把你要改的用[B][  ][/B] 标出，贴上来后就是你要变得颜色了^_^我也是刚学会的，以前帮别人改都是在word里用颜色标出，可是贴出来后就没有了，其实是做了，别人还以为偷懒呢^_^

希望大家共同努力，一起进步^_^