Argument14请大家修改点评！

cactus_gUID: 171393

The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.
'There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring.'

In this argument, the arguer states that Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase profits by expanding vegetable seeds for gardeners this coming spring. However, the national survey and magazine selling cited by the arguer are not convincing enough to support the argument.

To begin with, the national survey cited by the arguer is not persuasive enough to demonstrate that people would grow their own vegetables. First, one month is too short a period of time to support the argument. It is possible that during this month, all vegetables suffered from pest disaster, which might directly cause the lower quality of the vegetables while situation before this month was well as usual. Further, No evidence shows that supermarkets is the only way for residents to buy vegetables. Granted that the quality of vegetables in supermarkets had deteriorated, people still can buy fresh and healthy vegetables from other possible places such as vegetable stores, downtown markets.  Third, the survey conducted among the nationwide may not adapt to the situation of a suburban town. It could happen that residents from the town can get vegetables with superior quality because the nearby farm. Without considering all these factors above, it is too arbitrary for the arguer to make the conclusion.

Seondly, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the selling of magazine related with vegetables and the willingness of people to grow their own vegetables. It is highly possible that people merely care about the gardening rather than do the gardening themselves. As we know, there exist great distinctions betwen speak and practice. Do they have enough spare time to do the gardening? And have they mastered enough skills to grow the vegetables themselves? All these questions are yet to be answered.

Finally, without providing any concrete statistics to show how many people would grow their own vegetables, it is too blindly to greatly expand the vegetable seeds. This would probably cause that the seeds provided by the company are significantly more than the needs of the residents, which might cause great loss for the company rather than profits. Besides, no information has been provided about the cost of the seeds or other expenses such as money spent on tranportation, which has a close relationship with the profits. And What about the price of the needs? Will people accept the price? What if not? In addtion, as it comes to the spring, the problem about the quality of the vegetables could have been solved, and therefore it is no need for people to grow their own vegetables.

To conclusion, the argument is not as persuasive as it stands. To support the argument, the arguer would have to provide more information to demonstrate that people have the will and also the ability to grow their own vegetables and that more evidence to prove that the selling of seeds can lead to great profits.

cleonlxUID: 172606

The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.
'There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring.'

In this argument, the arguer states that Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase profits by expanding vegetable seeds for gardeners this coming spring. However, the national survey and magazine selling cited by the arguer are not convincing enough to support the argument.开头很简洁,不错

To begin with, the national survey cited by the arguer is not persuasive enough to demonstrate that people would grow their own vegetables. First, one month is too short a period of time to support the argument. It is possible that during this month, all vegetables suffered from pest disaster, which might directly cause the lower quality of the vegetables while situation before this month was well as usual. Further, No evidence shows that supermarkets is the only way for residents to buy vegetables. Granted that the quality of vegetables in supermarkets had deteriorated, people still can buy fresh and healthy vegetables from other possible places such as vegetable stores, downtown markets. Third, the survey conducted among the nationwide may not adapt to the situation of a suburban town. It could happen that residents from the town can get vegetables with superior quality because the nearby farm. Without considering all these factors above, it is too arbitrary for the arguer to make the conclusion.步步深入的分析,这一段论证的非常好.

Seondly (secondly) , the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between the selling of magazine related with vegetables and the willingness of people to grow their own vegetables. It is highly possible that people merely care about the gardening rather than do the gardening themselves. As we know, there exist great distinctions betwen (between) speak and practice. Do they have enough spare time to do the gardening? And have they mastered enough skills to grow the vegetables themselves? All these questions are yet to be answered.大概是上一段写的太好了,这段看起来力度就不够强了.你举说与做的例子,是在证明愿意种和实际的去种的关系. 又让我觉得你同意了作者的一部分观点:越来越多的人愿意自己种菜. 这个例子有些危险. 我觉得你还是可以让步来写,首先,一个销售亭的销量不代表整体销量,其次杂志的销量和是否愿意种菜没有因果关系.

Finally, without providing any concrete statistics to show how many people would grow their own vegetables, it is too blindly to greatly expand the vegetable seeds. This would probably cause that the seeds provided by the company are significantly more than the needs of the residents, which might cause great loss for the company rather than profits. Besides, no information has been provided about the cost of the seeds or other expenses such as money spent on tranportation (transportation) , which has a close relationship with the profits. And What (what) about the price of the needs? Will people accept the price? What if not? In addtion (addition) , as it comes to the spring, the problem about the quality of the vegetables could have been solved, and therefore it is no need for people to grow their own vegetables.对于spring的讨论可以不要,作者并没有指出这篇memo的时间.

To conclusion, the argument is not as persuasive as it stands. To support the argument, the arguer would have to provide more information to demonstrate that people have the will and also the ability to grow their own vegetables and that more evidence to prove that the selling of seeds can lead to great profits.
嘿嘿,又是我.
不错啊,第一个论证点很精彩!
有点想法:我觉得作者最后有个偷换概念:consumer和gardener是不是指的同一个人群?
如果不是,那么作者的一切论证都推不出最后的gardener会买seeds的结论.

cactus_gUID: 171393

首先谢谢点评！
关于consumer和gardener的问题，我觉得应该指的是同一群体，即便不是，个人觉得也很难下手论证，不好展开，你说呢？
的确第二段的论述有点散，应该首先论证杂志与种菜的关系，关于说与做，即自己种菜的可操作性，可以分开放到后面说。
关于spring，我指的是有这个可能性，也就说作者没有说具体时间，如果到了spring问题解决了，那么作者的statement也就不攻自破了。

再次感谢！互相帮助，继续努力！