issue10 路漫漫兮其修远 据考试2天

六翼小宇UID: 162533

思路
1 对于一些民族，主要文化的确preserved and generated 在主要城市里
2 然而，对于另外一些民族，主要文化preserved and generated 在农村，或者both major cities and 乡下or 非major cities
3 重要的政府要资助这些cultural traditions，而不管在major cities 还是乡下

Issue 10
Government must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

The speaker asserts that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated primarily in major cities; so that governments must give them financial support in order to keep them thrive. In my point of view, it is quite a case-by-case issue which cannot be generalized to every nation. Different nations hold distinct traditional backgrounds of culture, therefore should be judged respectively。It is the government’s duty to give the primary cultural traditions sufficient financial support in order to thrive, in despite of whether the primary cultural traditions preserved in their major cites or not.


I concede that in some nations, their primary cultural traditions are preserved and generated in their major cities.  For example, in some newly founded nations, such as Australian, their cultural traditions are primary brought by colonizers, not their original inhabitants. So that when you visit Australian, you may be surprised find that most of famous cultural traditions --such as the Sydney Opera, the big Blue Court, or the 12th highway Center – are preserved and generated primarily in its major city --Sydney, Canberra or Melbourne. The reason is quite simply, Australian has very short history, before the queen of Great Britain dominated this continent, the original inhabitants are quite innocent and have little contribution to the cultural traditions of modern Australian. I don't deny that the original inhabitants’ traditions such as the folk music and traditional clothes, do influence the cultural tradition of Australian. But the primarily cultural traditions of Austria are preserved and generated in their major cities due to the advanced technology and culture level of civilization of the colonizers ; therefore, it is justifiable and reasonable for the governments to ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.


However, in some other nations, especially the nations which hold a long and intricate history, this issue becomes quite complex and must be treated case-by-case.  In some East Asia nations, such as Japan, Korea, or China, their cultural traditions are generated by their own but altered seriously by the influence of western expanding since industry revolution during the long period of economic development in history. These nations' cultural traditions are divided into two realms -- the modern cultural tradition and the ancient cultural tradition. Take Japan for example, Tokyo is the capital of Japan, where the modern civilizations preserved and generated characteristically. However, when we look back in history, Tokyo developed by into the modernization since US nary rushed into this country. The traditional cultures, such as formal Tea Ceremony, are primarily preserved  and generated in the country, which does not influenced so much by the US and Europe civilizations. Therefore, it is hard to decide a nation's primary cultural traditions are preserved and generated whether in their major cites or not; and must analysis case-by-case before draw the conclusion.

Finally, there are too many factors influence this issue– history, politics, economics, and even arts religion –It is ineffective and futile to notice whether a nation’s primary culture traditions are preserved and generated in their major cities or not. In my point of view, the most important and most practical point of the speaker’s assertion is that it is the government’s duty to give the primary cultural traditions sufficient financial support in order to thrive, in despite of whether the primary cultural traditions preserved in their major cites or not. The cultural traditions are invaluable and priceless treasure of a nation, and must be treating carefully and protectively.

To sum up, different nations hold distinct traditional backgrounds of culture, therefore should be judged independently. Governments must ensure that their primary cultural traditions receive the sufficient financial support they need in order to thrive, whether the location these traditions preserved. （642 words，太多了，写45min＋修改15min）

nb6697955UID: 161076

感觉论证逻辑方面都很出色,语言呢也和流畅, 但还是有一些小的语法错误
第三段结尾感觉有点匆忙,说明的还不是太充分.
总之,你很出色了，比我强多了，我现在还在泥潭中打诨

naiba369UID: 131655

偶才写完的提纲，希望对你的思路有帮助，今天下午偶也改了一篇issue10，具体小宇你看看吧
是“青天地白”的，不知道有没有用。


yes + no

B1: What does “ cultural traditions “ really mean? I suppose we should consider this problem from the perspectives both in material and in mental. In reality, the cultural traditions mean architectures, sculptures, paintings, historical objects in museums      and etc. In spirit, cultural tradition mean thoughts, culture, customs, cultural  habits and so on.


B2: Admittedly, it is necessary for government to give financial support to their major cities to make a conservation of those real things, since a lot of real material objects are primarily got together there.


B3: However, people should also realize that small towns still are playing a irreplaceable role in preserving and generating traditional culture of the nation. As a lot of traditional civilization are derived from places and maintain up to now.


B4: Therefore, governments should pay attention on those major cities as well as poor areas.

Ending:

xjuicUID: 157961

砸几下。。。
1：题外话：举例子我觉得其实举中国最好了，怎么举日本呢？说历史悠久的话，中国肯定比日本又说服力，ETS的人也会觉得中国人为什么放着自己的悠久历史不说？其实中国的历史有着多样性，内乱，外辱。。
2：我觉得作者的结尾有点罗嗦了，干脆利索一些，我看了半天，到处都是你的观点，以为行文即将结束，结果后面还有。。。
3：作者的定位仅仅是地域，其实我觉得major cities和你说的乡下，也代表着两种不同的阶层，不知道可否从这两方面也说说。。。

xjuicUID: 157961

最初由 naiba369 发布
[B]偶才写完的提纲，希望对你的思路有帮助，今天下午偶也改了一篇issue10，具体小宇你看看吧
是“青天地白”的，不知道有没有用。


yes + no

B1: What ..

以下省略...... [/B]

提纲写得不错，值得借鉴，但是我有一个疑问阿，在issue里面遇到一些比较大的比较空的名词，例如：culture，society等等，又没有必要去做一个解释？或者仅仅一笔带过？其实解释名词也就是为后面的破题铺笔而已。。。我认为没有必要单独给他一个段落吧

六翼小宇UID: 162533

最初由 xjuic 发布
[B]砸几下。。。
1：题外话：举例子我觉得其实举中国最好了，怎么举日本呢？说历史悠久的话，中国肯定比日本又说服力，ETS的人也会觉得中国人为什么放着自己的悠久历史不说？..

以下省略...... [/B]

感觉中国不是这么短时间可以概括的，所以就折磨小日本了

naiba369UID: 131655

将cultural traditions 具体说明，是 in material 或者是 in mental ，更有深度，条理更清楚吧

lakeqianUID: 157560

duty to give the primary cultural traditions sufficient financial support in order to thrive, in despite of whether the primary cultural traditions preserved in their major cites or not
原题Thrive是对于城市而言是吧？这句话thrive的主语是传统啊？
ensure that their primary cultural traditions receive the sufficient financial support they need in order to thrive, whether the location these traditions preserved. 传统保存在传统中？？
关于thrive似乎不consistent...
there are too many factors influence this issue– history, politics, economics, and even arts religion 。thrive又是针对城市吧？？
没看太懂

TaylorUID: 147672

小宇试问一下：
B1和B2是并列关系，B3是前两者的总结。是这样的结构么

各方面都非常好了，只是感觉B3的balance有点空

加油啊，你已经很出色了，羡慕ing~

保持状态啊

六翼小宇UID: 162533

最初由 lakeqian 发布
[B]duty to give the primary cultural traditions sufficient financial support in order to thrive, in despite of whether the primary cultural traditions preserved in..

以下省略...... [/B]

对啊，题目其实是一个双重的推理，我直接否定结论，然后给个自己的看法

wangyueyue1UID: 199300

What way is better in protecting and generating a nation's culture traditions?To bestow a large amount of money to the big major cities or to rural areas? Although the government's donation might seem to contribute to the thriving of major cities,it still can't be sure that a nation's cultural traditions would be well preserved.Therefore,I would tend to recommend that the government should pay more attention to rural areas.

Without more donation from the government to rural areas, the nation's culture traditions' survival is doubtable.The culture of a nation is not limited to the geographical position.Whether it is in major cities or in country sides, outstanding cultural works will be generated.Obviously,it is rather unwise to simply prefer either sides.However, the global urbaniztion has lead to the abject poverty of rural areas contrast to the prosperity of large cities. While universal concepts widely prevail in large cities,the nation's traditional cultural is being threatened due to this strongly big difference between cities and country sides. Meanwhile,this kind of unbalance might cause the declination of a nation's culture traditions.A famous professor in the Economy&Culture College in my university once said:"a nation's cultural preservation and development is based on its economy.It is the solid,lower layer--economic foundation that helps to build the excellent, upper layer--culture.And the relative balance of economy ensure the more comprehensive development of all kinds of traditional culture. "This illustrates that giving financial support to rural areas is the first step to restore a nation's culture traditons nowadays. Otherwise,the tumbledown base might result in the destruction of the whole building one day.  

As the globalization tendency becomes more and more explicit,the preservation and development of a nation's culture traditions in rural areas might be more urgent and effective.It is said that the large,major cities in the world seem to be exactly the same in many different aspects.No matter what continent they belong to or what language the people there speak,these cities give the impression of highly assimilation and are called "international metropolises".This kind of claim might be somewhat arbitrary and exaggerated,but it does tell us that the culture analogy trend burgeons in those large major cities. In consequence, a nation's cultural traditions might be better protected and developed in rural areas.A recent survey made by the Social Culture Department in Peking University--the top two best universities in China--shows that seventy percent people in rural areas maintain some traditional customs habits and culture interests which can be traced up two thousand years ago,while there is only forty percent elder people in those large major cities claim to be still enthusiastic about the nation's culture traditions. From the above statistics,the large difference in proportion lends strong support to the suggestion that countrysides deserve more financial support other than those relatively more developed large major cities. Plus,the culture traditions scattering in rural areas are often more appealing.For example,the JinSan farmers' engravings in Shanghai,China, attract not only the whole city's enthusiasm for preserving and developing the national featurized art,but also the international attention of Chinese traditional culture.Perhaps,this is why what is national is international.

In a word,compared with the irreversible trend of urbanization and globalization,the way of supporting rural areas might be more justicial and reasonable.The government usually puts too much emphasis on the construction and advancement of several large,major cities maybe in order to establish the nation's highly-developed image in the world,howbeit,the precious culture traditions in country sides might often be ignored.It is high time to take action!