Issue93，个人责任的问题——期待评价

fishergirlUID: 152325

93. "The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making."

“个人职责” 的概念根本就是虚构的。尽管社会需要个人来实施社会本身的行为，但人们的行为很大程度上是被迫的而并非个人意愿。

立场：反对。尽管个人行为受环境的影响，但是任何行为都是自己的选择，所以不能推给社会，个人责任还是存在的。

1，在几乎所有的情况下，人们都会有选择的机会，只是由于各种原因不愿意作出一些选择，然后推给社会。例如：面对贫穷；面对挑战；面对诱惑，可以有不同的反应。

2，如果没有了个人责任一说，将会天下大乱。人们都会互相推托，社会也没有了让人正确行事的约束力。

3，让步。

In this issue, the author thinks that people’s behavior is determined most by social or other outsider forces but not their own making, which leads to a further conclusion that the so called “individual responsibility” is not as important as it is taken in somebody’s minds. In my point of view, although person’s behavior cannot avoid forces outside, people still have the opportunity to decide their deeds and should be responsible for what they have done.

Sometimes people can hear others say like that, ”I have no choice but to do so.” Is it true? In fact, there is always more than one choice for people in every crossroad, while some of them are not so satisfying. For example, when facing poverty, some people will take it as their own business and responsibility to change the condition so they study some professional skills or try to find some chance to dig out the first bucket of gold and then build up their own wealth, some others maybe think it is the country and society’s obligation to afford them so they choose to live on the limited food and money while doing nothing to change the miserable status, still some others then are possible to hate the society and other people, think God is cheating them that everybody is not born of equality, so they degenerate to steal or pillage to make a living. From this case, it is clear that individuals never lost their right to choose and decide, what also means responsibility here, while some people themselves give it up for some reasons such as their lazy, avarice, flabbiness and so on. What is more, they leave all of the responsibility to the society and other people, and take some troubles and frustrate as the excuse for their mistakes or even criminal.

To discuss more seriously, I think that personal responsibility is necessary for not only ruling individual behavior but also building up normal and well-ordered society. Nobody can imagine what will our world be if there is no regulation for people’s actions. As is known to all, social order comes from every people’s self-restraint and their common respect of some ethics and laws, among which the common basis is the “individual responsibility”, the belief that everyone should answer for what itself has done. Hence the lost of such basis will inevitably lead the whole society into a chaotic conditions. If so, people can take goods form supermarket without paying for their lack of money, can freely retaliate others who insulted him/her just now, can lie for many other people also do so, can do any thing they want if only there is a excuse. On the contrary, people with the personal responsibility will obey social principles consciously never influenced by others behavior or the outside forces. They will consider carefully before action and answer for all of the results no matter good or bad. Only composed of such people can a country or a nation become strong and prosperous.

Admittedly, there is really some bad influence comes form the outside environment upon people’s behavior. For instance, a child brought up in a family lacking of love, he/she will lack the ability to care for others. And in some circumstances, take commercial negotiation as an example, people may have to play some tricks such as holding back critical information and cheating because the opposing party also do that. But such behavior is still illaudable for its violence of the principle of honesty. If analyzed with the same way as before, the company can choose another cooperator famous of its honesty as an alternation, while with the probable cost of lower advantage. So it is inevitable for us to limit others’ action, whereas it is free to decide what we do.

In conclusion, although people cannot choose to live in a better society or avoid others’ influence, they still have the right to choose what they should do and how to do. Hence, the concept of “individual responsibility” is not a futile fiction but a necessary and realistic formula for people’s behavior, which ensures the order of the whole society.

感觉这篇写的有点长，不知道是不是啰嗦了点？

lakeqianUID: 157560

这篇我的提纲是这样的，给你做个参考：
社会有限制（道德法律）但是说people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.不对。没人根据法律等的限制来做事，因为限制很宽泛。
人做事总是依据自己的理性思考或者非理性感情。
因此要承担个人责任（个人选择，个人责任）
还有社会责任因为影响他人

fishergirlUID: 152325

谢谢:)

没人根据法律等的限制来做事，因为限制很宽泛。——这句话不是太同意，法律等限制还是不能忽视的，因为一旦违反会有严厉的惩罚，呵呵。

lakeqianUID: 157560

哦。可能中文不太准确。我是想否定原题的：people's behavior is “largely determined”。。。

abjureUID: 169591

占位。
先下载，明天再瞄渺这篇帖子，上网费贵阿！！！

fhxyweiUID: 157384

考场上写出这篇文章，至少5分！：）

abjureUID: 169591

这是我的提纲和看法

总的来说，公民是社会的组成部分，绝对有个人义务和责任。
在公民素质高的的社会（文明，民主社会）更多依赖于个人意愿。（新加坡（花园城市）干净程度，香港（犯罪率世界最低）为例，道德约束，诚信制度）
在公民素质较低的的社会（专制，封建社会）更多依赖强制手段。（法律，论据可以使用死刑的有无来比较。株连九族。）

fishergirlUID: 152325

有新意的思路。写一篇来看看吧:)

rad.catUID: 174387

好长~~羡慕中，有话可说很好啊，我平时说话习惯了精炼，结果作文写得也很短小了~~

先赞下，回去帮你看看:）

abjureUID: 169591

No.1  Issue93，个人责任的问题——期待评价
93. "The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making."

“个人职责” 的概念根本就是虚构的。尽管社会需要个人来实施社会本身的行为，但人们的行为很大程度上是被迫的而并非个人意愿。

立场：反对。尽管个人行为受环境的影响，但是任何行为都是自己的选择，所以不能推给社会，个人责任还是存在的。

1，在几乎所有的情况下，人们都会有选择的机会，只是由于各种原因不愿意作出一些选择，然后推给社会。例如：面对贫穷；面对挑战；面对诱惑，可以有不同的反应。

2，如果没有了个人责任一说，将会天下大乱。人们都会互相推托，社会也没有了让人正确行事的约束力。

3，让步。

In this issue, the author thinks that people’s behavior is determined most by social or other outsider forces but not their own making, which leads to a further conclusion that the so called so-called “individual responsibility” is not as important as it is taken in somebody’s minds. 你这句话后半句是不是想说“个人职责”这个概念在一些人意识中不在重要？但是用as。。。as怎么读起来有点怪怪的，不知道你想“as… as比较”什么? In my point of view, although person’s behavior cannot 我觉得加上totally比较好，你觉得呢？avoid the effect of forces outside, people still have the opportunity to decide their deeds and should be responsible for what they have done.(我改动了你的ts句，不知道自己有没有正确理解你的意思，呵呵，写的很好，其实我觉得自己有点鸡蛋里挑骨头。)

Sometimes people can hear others say 把这个改成some thing, 我觉得这样会native点 like that, ”I have no choice but to do so.” Is it true? In fact, there is always more than one choice for people in every crossroad, while even if 会不会好点？ some of them are not so satisfying. For example, when facing poverty, some people will take it as their own business and responsibility to change the condition so they study some professional skills or try to find some chance to dig out the first bucket of gold and then build up their own wealth, 我感觉你这里是想用两种人不同态度做一个对比，加上by contrary会更明显点。some others maybe think it is the country and society’s obligation to afford them so they choose to live on the limited food and money while doing nothing to change the miserable status, still some others then are possible to hate the society and other people, think God is cheating them that everybody is not born of equality, so前后有因果关系嘛？ they degenerate to steal or pillage to make a living. From this case, it is clear that individuals never lost their right to choose and decide, what also means responsibility here, while some people themselves give it up for some reasons such as their lazy, avarice, flabbiness and so on. What is more, they leave all of the responsibility to the society and other people, and take some troubles and frustrate as the excuse for their mistakes or even criminal crimes.

To discuss more seriously, I think that personal responsibility is necessary for not only ruling individual behavior but also building up normal and well-ordered society. 好观点，上升了一个高度，从个体到整体 Nobody can imagine what will our world  be if there is no regulation for people’s? actions. As is known to all, social order comes from every people’s self-restraint and their common respect of to some ethics and laws, among which the common basis is the “individual responsibility”, the belief that everyone should answer for what itself has done. Hence the lost of such basis will inevitably lead the whole society into a chaotic conditions?. If so, people can take goods form from supermarket 这个词裸跑了！ without paying for their lack of money, can freely retaliate others who insulted him/her just now, can lie for many other people also do so, can do any thing they want if only there is a excuse.请问这个是不是排比论证，分局之间不需要连词连起来嘛？怎么写排比论证阿，能不能教教我阿！ On the contrary, people with the personal responsibility will obey social principles consciously never influenced by others behavior or the outside forces. They will consider carefully before action and answer for all of the results no matter good or bad. Only composed of such people can make a country or a nation become more and more 帮你加强火力而已！没有这个词也没事strong and prosperous.

Admittedly, there is really some bad influence that？ comes 主谓不一至 form the outside environment upon people’s behavior. For instance, a childbrought up in a family 孩子养育在家庭，不对劲？ lacking of love, he/she改成the child will lack the ability to care for others. And in some special 还是加强火力而已 circumstances, take commercial negotiation as an example, people may have to play some tricks such as holding back critical information and cheating because the opposing party also do that. But such behavior is still illaudable for its violence of the principle of honesty. If analyzed with the same way as before, the company can choose another cooperator famous？ of its honesty as an alternation, while with the probable cost of lower advantage. So it is inevitable for us to limit others’ action, whereas it is free to decide what we do.

In conclusion, although people cannot choose to live in a better society or avoid others’ influence, they still have the right to choose what they should do and how to do. Hence, the concept of “individual responsibility” is not a futile fiction but a necessary and realistic formula for people’s behavior, which ensures the order of the whole society.

感觉这篇写的有点长，不知道是不是啰嗦了点？
强阿，写这么多，害的的我看这么久。
用词动，名词，分词使用都很不错，形容词的使用欠缺一点，可能会显得干涩一点，
句式都挺好的。论证也有条理。我觉得topic sentence 写的时候应该假如适当的形容词来增强自己的感情色彩，以为ets的题目有些题目特别变态，婆说婆有理，公说公有理。

^_^，呵呵，好啊，过两天我好好写一篇发出来看看。

fishergirlUID: 152325

十分感谢abjure的仔细修改，我在一些小词的使用上是很不好，还要好好琢磨。以下是一些地方的探讨：

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]as important as it is taken in somebody’s minds. 你这句话后半句是不是想说“个人职责”这个概念在一些人意识中不在重要？但是用as。。。as怎么读起来有点怪怪的，不知道你想“as… as比较”什么? [/B]

比较important和it is taken in somebody's minds。我想表达的意思是：作者认为个人行为更多受到社会影响，这导致了他进一步认为“个人职责”并不像有些人认为的那样重要。

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]For example, when facing poverty, some people will take it as their own business and responsibility to change the condition so they study some professional skills or try to find some chance to dig out the first bucket of gold and then build up their own wealth, 我感觉你这里是想用两种人不同态度做一个对比，加上by contrary会更明显点。some others maybe think it is…… [/B]

我这里写了三类人的比较，所以不能用by contrary.

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]a chaotic conditions?[/B]

一种混乱的状态，不知道表达的对不对 :o

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]If so, people can take goods form from supermarket 这个词裸跑了！ without paying for their lack of money, can freely retaliate others who insulted him/her just now, can lie for many other people also do so, can do any thing they want if only there is a excuse.请问这个是不是排比论证，分局之间不需要连词连起来嘛？怎么写排比论证阿，能不能教教我阿！[/B]

:p 我也不知道什么才是排比论证，只是觉得这样写应该没有语法错误。我也想听一听斑竹或者其他语法大家的观点呢！

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]there is really some bad influence that？ comes 主谓不一至 [/B]

that引导后面的定语从句。我觉得influence是一个不可数名词，所以用了comes.

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]a childbrought up in a family 孩子养育在家庭，不对劲？ lacking of love,[/B]

一个在缺乏爱的家庭长大的孩子 ;)

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]the company can choose another cooperator famous？ of its honesty [/B]

我省略了being，这样会更清楚吧——the company can choose another cooperator being famous of......

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]people’s behavior[/B]

这个应该没有错吧？题目上也有啊？ :D
如果是说那个全角的撇号，那时因为用word改过了。每次都会这样 :(

abjureUID: 169591

最初由 fishergirl 发布
[B]十分感谢abjure的仔细修改，我在一些小词的使用上是很不好，还要好好琢磨。以下是一些地方的探讨：


[QUOTE]最初由 abjure 发布
[B]as important as it is taken..

以下省略...... [/B]

汗！你不指出得话，我又犯了几个错误，还不知道，
[B]
引用:最初由 abjure 发布
a chaotic conditions?

一种混乱的状态，不知道表达的对不对  
以下省略...... [/B][/QUOTE]
我说得是你前面使用的是a 后面使用的是个复数名词，语法错误。

最初由 abjure 发布
[B]引用:最初由 abjure 发布
there is really some bad influence that？ comes 主谓不一至  

that引导后面的定语从句。我觉得influence是一个不可数名词，所以用了comes.

[/B]

那个that是我帮你加上的，你原来没有写。


呵呵，其他都是你对了。 :)

fishergirlUID: 152325

修改的好仔细，谢谢！

:)

abjureUID: 169591

还要谢你呢，以前我还不会用“引用”这个功能呢。
现在在找工作，单位又不给面试机会我，所以人比较空。

crosswayUID: 163628

我很赞同fishergirl和lakeqian的分析思路，事情是你自己做的，要么经过理性分析后去做，要么很冲动地去做，无论哪一种，做了这件事情地后果当然要由你自己来承担，跟别人有什么关系，别人怂恿你去干，你就去干了，出了事情能怪谁啊，只能怪你当初怎么这么傻，轻易取信于别人。当然这是对成年的有独立思考能力的人而言。