Issue53 Education 好久没来了!!!帮我看看

fhxyweiUID: 157384

------题目------
College and university education should be free for all students, fully financed by the government.
------正文------
       Nowadays, there are many controversies about this issue that whether the high education should be brought to industrialization just like corporation. Some people claim that everyone who wants to get high education should pay for it instead of financing by government. But the arguer above holds that high education should be free for all students and the government should finance it thoroughly. In my opinion, both negative and positive effects between the two views above call for a balance in which government should offer some public universities or colleges to the poor students while let some other private ones charge tuition fees from the students.
      
On the surface, it is an ideal policy to offer all students free high education in our society, but the realistic financial condition of government cannot permit its implement due to other indispensable expenditures. As is known to all, the government's income should be allocated to provide some other public services such as maintaining the military force, paying for officials, assisting the unemployment and so on. To offer free high education to all students would inevitably take up a large proportion of the whole finance of the government. So the government cannot guarantee the normal operation of different departments of the whole nation for a shortage of money. For instance, in some African poor countries, most of people are suffering from starvation, if the majority of money garnered were used to provide all their students with free high education, it would result in more severe starvation and even terrible turmoil in their countries. So every government should take their own practical condition of finance into account before they decide to offer free high education to all students.
      
Furthermore, it is reasonable that the students who want to get the high education should pay for their own tuitions in current market-oriented society. Nowadays, as many high technologies and superior experimental facilities are adopted in colleges and universities, the cost of education especially the high education are increasing rapidly. It is common that some of students cannot afford the high price of paying for tuition. It is impossible to let all the students utilize those scarce and valuable educational resources. In order to distribute the limited high educational resources to all the students efficiently, it is necessary to charge those who are able to afford the high cost of colleges and universities. On the contrary, let all students utilize those scarce high educational resources on an average level, the quality of high education would be ruined.
            
      However, some negative problems may be created as a result of charging all students for entering colleges and universities. Obviously, not all the families in our society are able to afford the high tuition fees especially in some poor areas. It is unfair that some intelligent and qualified students cannot be enrolled by universities or colleges due to poverty. Several days ago, I read a piece of news that a farther of college student committed suicide because he couldn't glean enough money for his son before the beginning of the next semester. There were many other tragedies happened on the campus like this one because of severe poverty conditions of those students in China. Therefore, to avoid these tragedies, the government should take some measures to enroll those intelligent but poor students to colleges and universities without charging them. It is also necessary to establish some particular universities or colleges financed thoroughly by government for poor students just like America.

    In sum, on the one side, it is unrealistic that to provide all students with the same high education for free because of a limited government financial income and scarce educational resources. On the other hand, governments should try their best to guarantee those qualified and intelligent but poor students educated in universities or colleges by assisting them or establishing some free ones. After all, education is the most fundamental and glorious cause of the society.

fantasyUID: 177163

写得很不错，只是开头结尾有点模板的痕迹
On the contrary, let all students utilize those scarce high educational resources on an average level, the quality of high education would be ruined.
这个来的有点突然
总的来说相当不错哈

xiaoheUID: 162707

完全同意以上意见。不过再给你挑点刺：
1  It is common that some of students cannot afford the high price of paying for tuition. 后半句写成 afford the high tuition fee 是不是就行了？另外，要么说 some students 或 some of the students，本句中似乎前者好些。
2 It is also necessary to establish some particular universities or colleges financed thoroughly by government for poor students just like America. 这句语法有点问题，America显然不是 poor students 之一，但你这么一写就让人疑惑了。建议修改如下：It is also necessary for the government to finance some particular universities or colleges  for poor students just like American government does.

fhxyweiUID: 157384

非常谢谢你们的修改，it benefited me very much,如果你们有作文贴上来，我会很乐意帮你们修改！！！

fhxyweiUID: 157384

终于自己买了台电脑，以后可以常来这儿和你们交流了！！！

dezhiUID: 156141

哈，有电脑了好哇，祝贺：）

fhxyweiUID: 157384

以后我会天天来这儿，斑竹多多照顾！呵呵

xiaoheUID: 162707

不好意思，我写得太短了，很单薄。看看应该怎样充实一下好呢？