申请ubc masc的第一篇SoP，大家帮忙看看啊

lichenyuMillerUID: 3990214

Academic Background & Research Interest
I finished my four years of study in Communication Engineering at Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications, China. The undergraduate curriculum includes various tracks such as Computer Engineering, Wireless Communication, Signal Processing and so on, which gave me a solid foundation in the area of Electronic and Computer Engineering. During my college study, my overall average mark is 85, and my major GPA (GPA in the third academic year) is 89.65. After four years of conscientious studies, I grew great interest in Computer Engineering. The capability to use electronic and computer technology to change the way information is exchanged and analyzed and bring about revolution in all areas deeply fascinated me. Therefore, I set up my career goal to become a qualified engineer in fields of electronic and computer engineering.

Internship Experience & Projects
My very first trying on my way to pursue career goal is software development. I participated in the design and building of a campus second-hand book trading platform, which serves to release and exchange information of second-hand textbooks for students, so that those books can be recycled and reused. I assembled a development team and served as team leader and server developer. I learned a lot in this project, including how to lead a team, how to discover the needs of people and most importantly, acquiring the knowledge of server development using PHP, MySQL, Redis and CentOS.  

In August 2019, thanks to those foundation of server development, I joined Xiaomi Corporation (you may not have heard of Xiaomi, its most famous product is Xiaomi mobile phone) as an intern server development engineer and took charge of the development and maintenance of Xiaomi retail business server interface. During my three months in Xiaomi, I was exposed to many of the technology used in application development in industry, such as Multithread Programming, I/O Multiplexing, Server Load Balancing. They are completely fresh to me and strongly arouse my will of exploration. At the same time, I deeply felt that the undergraduate-level knowledge is far not enough to support my career goal of being a development engineer, which becomes the biggest motivation for my grad school application.

Why Grad School?
As mentioned above, I have great interest in the field of Electronic and Computer Engineering and hope to work in related areas. However, the depth of knowledge at the undergraduate level is too limited to meet the requirement of industry. In order to take charge of core development work in industry, I must dig into a more segmented field.  I am interested in computer engineering, including but not limited to areas of software development, data analysis and machine learning. Therefore, I choose to apply for the graduate program at the University of British Columbia, because it has a reputation in the world for providing high quality engineering education and offers different tracks in Electronic and Computer Engineering at graduate-level education. I hope that through the study of the school's postgraduate courses, I can go deep into one of those areas and become a qualified engineer.

不知道是不是应该指定导师名字。全自己DIY打算找淘宝文书润色一下。各位大大看看这个SOP有啥问题没？感激不尽！！！

MogamiUID: 3767164

楼主的行文用词需要再稍微润色下。
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楼主一直在提courses和intern，我觉得，如果你有research experience，应该多谈谈research
另外，你一直在说courses are limited，但是，你可以通过leverage limitation of courses to industrial overheads and challenges you are current facing and tackling right now

此外，建议楼主尝试详细说说你发现的具体的challenges，比如UI卡顿，HCI交互不行、或者高并发性能差(根据你的方向来说)，说你很想在UBC得到大牛学者的指点，从而更深刻的认识问题，研究问题，解决问题。

我个人认为，不需要指定未来的导师的名字在SoP里面，我之前陶瓷成功后，我的SoP也没写老师的名字

最后，楼主申请的是MASC，偏向academic，多提提research
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对于给楼主提出的建议，我自认为还算qualified，https://mogami95.github.io/
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最后，祝楼主早日上岸，找到理想的导师，拿到理想的offer。
Welcome to Metro Vancouver!

lichenyuMillerUID: 3990214

Mogami 发表于 2019-11-11 13:55
楼主的行文用词需要再稍微润色下。
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楼主一直在提courses和intern，我觉得，如果你有research ex ...

大佬好！！！我找了一个淘宝的外教润色了，语言地道了不少。
另外research experience这块，刚进实验室还没有做出太多成果，因此没有在SoP里面仔细说。后续做出成果也许就试试加进去吧。
感谢大佬的建议。Hope to meet you in Vancouver!!