Issue83---麻烦大家了！！求砖！！！！！！！！！1

RikkuUID: 170558

Issue83  第11篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
同意
1。说这些环境处于自然状态的重要性（主要是科学用处）
2。也是说科学价值
3。说现在环境恶化的后果， 因此应该保护这些地方的环境
4。 说为什么是政府应该保护环境，而不是其他的一些东西去保护
结尾---完
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分24秒     729 words
从2004年11月7日9时52分到2004年11月7日10时45分
------题目------
Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people.
------正文------
With the growth of human civilization, many wilderness areas, which are habitants of many animals and plants, have been disappearing. Meanwhile, we have also realized that the disappearance of wilderness areas harms the whole environment on which we rely to live. Therefore, in my view I agree with the statement that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state in order to make all of us live in a health environment.

To begin with, wilderness areas in their natural state are great treasure for human beings. As we are very familiar with the role these areas play in ecological systems, I will specifically argue the value of science. There are various kinds of rare species in these areas, some of which have existed for tens of thousands of years, or even longer. In other words, they have experienced much more time than human beings in the earth. Then scientists can infer how the pristine environment was, which creatures existed in that time, how the relations among these creatures, how the environment changed, why some kinds are stills living while others were extinct, and so on, all of which are important evidences for many disciplines. To assure these results of researches are precise, the resources for the researches must not be affected by any human factor. So it is necessary to preserve these wilderness areas in their natural state.

In addition, these areas can also be used for ecological researches, which will bring us a lot of critical information. As a matter fact, the ecological system is so complex that there is still something that we can even hardly image. For example, mosquitoes, which most of us think they are nothing but suck our blood, are important food for some other animals in the food chain. Flies, which are also the last thing we want to see, are actually disintegrators, which play a vital role in the ecological balance. Maybe both of the two insects have some other important effect that we do not know. In fact, we only find out a little about the ecological system. And the best way to protect it is to leave it in its natural state. To do so, we will have enough time to study it and we will get enough information which is critical for our existence.

In contrast, if we fail to preserve these wilderness areas, we will be the victims at last. The whole environment of the earth has greatly deteriorated for recent tens of years. Oil spilling, which harms the ocean ecological system to a great extent, happens in wilderness areas more and more frequently. Neighboring fishers can no longer sustain their lives, but have to migrate to other regions. The nuclear accidents at the Three Miles Island and Chernobyl last century have made these areas not grow even a grass. Many people have not only suffer from fearful diseases, but also lost their homes. The deforestation of Brazil tropical forest is one of the chief factors that leads to the Green House effect. All of these indicate that the human beings are victims finally. Because once demolished, these wilderness areas cannot be restored; government should preserve these areas in their natural state and prevent them from being used by some people for profits.

Furthermore government and only government have the ability to protect these wilderness areas. Fist of all, it is impossible for any individual to protect these areas. Secondly, most of companies also do not have ability to do this. Though some large companies, such as Microsoft, do have such ability, most of them would not like to do the protection. After all, what they really care is how to receive more profits. Even if some of them intend to protect these areas, they cannot protect all such areas. Therefore, government should carry out this responsibility, because it has enough resources, time and power to do so. Another reason why government should do this is that it is its obligation. Government should also be responsible for descendants rather than only considering contemporary development. Thus, because it is necessary preserve publicly owned wilderness areas and government has no reason not to do so, government should protect these areas.

In conclusion, wilderness areas are significantly important for us and play a considerable part in the whole ecological system; therefore, government should protect these areas not only because of its enough resources, but also because of its obligation.

RikkuUID: 170558

怎么没人里我了

帮帮忙把

28号就考了

RikkuUID: 170558

又沉了

这是我早上发的

顶上去

求砖！！！！！！

acropolisUID: 159777

With the growth of human civilization, many wilderness areas, which are habitants of many animals and plants, have been disappearing. Meanwhile, we have also realized that the disappearance of wilderness areas harms the whole environment on which we rely to live. Therefore, in my view I agree with the statement that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state in order to make all of us live in a health environment.

To begin with, wilderness areas in their natural state are great treasure for human beings. As we are very familiar with the role these areas play in ecological systems, I will specifically argue the value of science. 千万别用这样的句子，这是个announcement, 而不是statement,任何一个受过系统写作训练的美国人都视这样的句子为大敌There are various kinds of rare species in these areas, some of which have existed for tens of thousands of years, or even longer. In other words, they have experienced much more time than human beings in the earth. Then scientists can infer how the pristine environment was, which creatures existed in that time, how the relations among these creatures, how the environment changed, why some kinds are stills living while others were extinct, and so on, all of which are important evidences for many disciplines.以上这一大串的问句虽然用了流畅的排比，但是实际上什么也没有说明，只是立了一大堆靶子，你没有对任何一个做详细说明，弄得这个段落很无力，建议，只细说一个问题，比如how environment changed. To assure these results of researches are precise, the resources for the researches must not be affected by any human factor. So it is necessary to preserve these wilderness areas in their natural state. 如上所说，这个段落是一个意思非常vague的段落。

In addition, these areas can also be used for ecological researches, 看到这里就觉得不对了，上个段落说的是science,而那些问句里面已经提出了例如relations among creatures的问题，这里再in addition说生态研究，逻辑上不对。which will bring us a lot of critical information. As a matter fact, the ecological system is so complex that there is still something that we can even hardly image. For example, mosquitoes, which most of us think they are nothing but suck our blood, are important food for some other animals in the food chain. Flies, which are also the last thing we want to see, are actually disintegrators, which play a vital role in the ecological balance. Maybe both of the two insects have some other important effect that we do not know.这个例子vague, “maybe…we don’t know”什么问题都说明不了，建议编造一个effect. In fact, we only find out a little about the ecological system. And the best way to protect it is to leave it in its natural state. To do so, we will have enough time to study it and we will get enough information which is critical for our existence.

In contrast, if we fail to preserve these wilderness areas, we will be the victims at last. The whole environment of the earth has greatly deteriorated for recent tens of years. 这里最好不要拿the whole environment 当主语，因为会容易让人产生歧异，尤其是当考官认真看段首而速读段中的时候，建议改成the wilderness areas are being deteriorated greatly…，这样才不至于让人觉得你偏题了。Oil spilling, which harms the ocean ecological system to a great extent, happens in wilderness areas more and more frequently. Neighboring fishers can no longer sustain their lives, but have to migrate to other regions. The nuclear accidents at the Three Miles Island and Chernobyl last century have made these areas not grow even a grass. Many people have not only suffer from fearful diseases, but also lost their homes. The deforestation of Brazil tropical forest is one of the chief factors that leads to the Green House effect. All of these indicate that the human beings are victims finally. Because once demolished, these wilderness areas cannot be restored; government should preserve these areas in their natural state and prevent them from being used by some people for profits.

Furthermore government and only government have the ability to protect these wilderness areas. Fist of all, it is impossible for any individual to protect these areas. 太绝对化的语言要小心，建议改成it may be difficult for …Secondly, most of companies also do not have ability to do this. Though some large companies, such as Microsoft, do have such ability, most of them would not like to do the protection. After all, what they really care is how to receive more profits. Even if some of them intend to protect these areas, they cannot protect all such areas. Therefore, government should carry out this responsibility, because it has enough resources, time and power to do so. Another reason why government should do this is that it is its obligation. Government should also be responsible for descendants rather than only considering contemporary development. Thus, because it is necessary preserve publicly owned wilderness areas and government has no reason not to do so, government should protect these areas.

In conclusion, wilderness areas are significantly important for us and play a considerable part in the whole ecological system; therefore, government should protect these areas not only because of its enough resources, but also because of its obligation

1.字数不错，看来打字很快，PFPF
2.没有给你找小错误，但是有不少介词误用
3.出现了4个important,这种很容易就能找到syn的词语，还是注意替换一下。

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

结构思路都很好，考试正常发挥一定没问题的。
题目中有even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people 这句话，是不是论述的时候可以对它也批驳一下？
有些句子应该还有更好的说法的

With the growth of human civilization, many wilderness areas, which are habitants of many animals and plants, have been disappearing. Meanwhile, we have also realized that the disappearance of wilderness areas harms the whole environment on which we rely to live. Therefore, in my view I agree with the statement that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state in order to make all of us live in a health environment.

To begin with, wilderness areas in their natural state are great treasure for human beings. As we are very familiar with the role these areas play in ecological systems, [U]I will specifically argue the value of science.[/U]  （refer to?）There are various kinds of rare species in these areas, some of which have existed for tens of thousands of years, or even longer. In other words, they have experienced much more time than human beings in the earth. Then scientists can infer how the pristine environment was, which creatures existed in that time, how the relations among these creatures, how the environment changed, why some kinds are stills living while others were extinct, and so on, all of which are important evidences for many disciplines. （之后如果能直接跟两个例子就更好了，显得many一词是有根据的）To assure these results of researches are precise, the resources for the researches must not be affected by any human factor. So it is necessary to preserve these wilderness areas in their natural state.

In addition, these areas can also be used for ecological researches, which will bring us a lot of critical information. As a matter fact, the ecological system is so complex that there is still something that we can even hardly image. For example, mosquitoes, which most of us think they are nothing but suck our blood, are important food for some other animals in the food chain. Flies, which are also the last thing we want to see, are actually disintegrators, which play a vital role in the ecological balance. Maybe both of the two insects have some other important effect that we do not know. In fact, we only find out a little about the ecological system. And the best way to protect it is to leave it in its natural state. To do so, we will have enough time to study it and we will get enough information which is critical for our existence.

In contrast, if we fail to preserve these wilderness areas, we will be the victims at last. The whole environment of the earth has greatly deteriorated for recent tens of years. Oil spilling, which harms the ocean ecological system to a great extent, happens in wilderness areas more and more frequently. Neighboring fishers can no longer sustain their lives, but have to migrate to other regions. The nuclear accidents at the Three Miles Island and Chernobyl last century have made these areas not grow even a grass. Many people have not only suffer from fearful diseases, but also lost their homes. The deforestation of Brazil tropical forest is one of the chief factors that leads to the Green House effect. All of these indicate that the human beings are victims finally. Because once demolished, these wilderness areas cannot be restored; government should preserve these areas in their natural state and prevent them from being used by some people for profits.

[U]Furthermore government and only government have the ability to protect these wilderness areas.[/U] 这句挺奇怪的 Fist of all, it is impossible for any individual to protect these areas. Secondly, most of companies also do not have ability to do this. Though some large companies, such as Microsoft, do have such ability, most of them would not like to do the protection. After all, what they really care is how to receive more profits. Even if some of them intend to protect these areas, they cannot protect all such areas. Therefore, government should carry out this responsibility, because it has enough resources, time and power to do so. Another reason why government should do this is that it is its obligation. Government should also be responsible for descendants rather than only considering contemporary development. Thus, because it is necessary preserve publicly owned wilderness areas and government has no reason not to do so, government should protect these areas.
你可以说个人或者各种团体没有能力解决这些问题，所以要靠政府。但是如果说政府和大公司一定有能力做这件事，就显得有些武断，没准儿大家都很穷

In conclusion, wilderness areas are significantly important for us and play a considerable part in the whole ecological system; therefore, government should protect these areas not only because of its enough resources, but also because of its obligation.

xiaoheUID: 162707

已经有两位高人改了，我看了看，把我想到的观点都包括了。

这次我就懒一下，下次你贴文我再帮你改吧。hehe