argument42,麻烦大家了，字数是不太多了啊?

floraliUID: 185000

题号42
The following appeared in a proposal from the economic minister of the country of Paraterra.
In order to strengthen its lagging economy, last year the government of the nearby country of Bellegea began an advertising campaign to promote ecologically sound tourism (ecotourism). This year the number of foreign visitors arriving at Bellegea’s main airport doubled, and per capita income in Bellegea increased by ten percent. To provide more income for the population of Paraterra and also preserve the natural environment of our tiny country, we too should begin to promote ecotourism. To ensure that our advertising campaign is successful, we should hire the current director of Bellegea’s National Tourism Office as a consultant for the campaign.
我参考了<北美GRE范文精讲>,套用了相关的句型.不知道可不可以?[
In this proposal the economic minister of the country of Paraterra (P) recommends promoting ecotourism as the nearby country of Bellegea (B) and hiring the current director of B’s National Tourism Office. To support this recommendation the minister cites the following fact about the country of B. Last year it began an advertising campaign to promote ecotourism then this year the number of foreign tourists at the main airport doubles, each individual income increases as well. Close scrutiny of the fact, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.
First of all, it is highly doubtful that the facts draw from the country of B are applicable to the country of P. Perhaps B is a large country with lots of natural and historic tourists attractions while P is a tiny one with a poor scenery. Thus making the analogy highly suspects. Besides it is also possible that the increase taking place in B is due to the government policy such as making the visa easier got in order to encourage more foreigners to travel. For that matter, simply promoting ecotourism in P is of no effect. In short, without ruling out other possible reasons for the increase, the minister cannot convince me that promoting the ecotourism will provide more income for the population of P, let alone preserve the natural environment.
Secondly, besides promoting the ecotourism will lead to the increase of per capita income in P, the minister assumes that it will preserve the natural environment too. Yet the article contains no evidence to support this assumption. Lacking such evidence it is equally possible that the more tourists the more chances of making pollution. So the environment condition will be even worse.
Thirdly, the minister recommends that hiring the current director of B as a consultant will ensure the success of advertising campaign in P. This is not necessarily the case. It is possible that the director is just one of the wonderful staff who has made the whole success of the campaign. Besides it also depends on the support of government and so on. Only one person can do nothing. Without considering these aspects, the minister cannot confidently conclude that depending merely on the director will lead to the success of the advertising campaign in P.
Finally the doubled number of foreign tourists without providing the original statistic, we cannot safely assume that it is a great increase. It is entirely possible last year only one hundred, and this year it is two hundred. Then it is clear that the number is not enough for making any increase in the per capita income. Admittedly even if it is granted that the ecotourism is responsible for the increase of individual income, however it is not the mere factor. The other factors such as general economy, the government policy will be a part of the reason as well. And in these respects these two countries might be totally different.
In sum, the recommendation relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the minister must provide clear evidence that these two countries have the same potential to develop the ecotourism. To better assess the argument I would need to know (1). The ecotourism is the mere source of the increase of per capita income in the country of B. (2). The director of B is the key person to the success of advertising campaign. (3). The number of foreign tourists before and after the advertising campaign.

gaojie1984UID: 179193

字数不算多。argument600左右应该还算正常吧

apolloxpUID: 156355

开头和结尾可以再精简一下，真的上考场打不了那么多字的