issue196 大家用力的拍我啊！30号考

zjuyangUID: 157264

196."Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."

Whether technology enhances or diminishes our overall quality of life is a complex and controversial issue. I strongly agree with the speaker that the advancements of science and technology in some degree come with convenience and comfort in our daily life, but at the same time harm may outweigh the benefits currently or in the long term. Three examples that aptly illustrate this point involve automobile, computer science and genetic technology.

First consider the automobile, it is no doubt the most influential invention that facilitates our everyday work and can carry us everywhere we want to go for a trip. However, we overlook the fact that it is also the most important contributing factor to the traffic accidents. A great number of people lose their lives every year, say nothing of even more who are injured or maimed due to the carelessness of drivers or pedestrians. In the meantime, all the harmful emissions exhausted from millions of automobiles have already begun to destroy the ozone and warm the earth to dangerous levels. And the incidence of chronic respiratory diseases increases remarkably year after year. Moreover, the finite natural resources are universally known to be consumed up in less than a hundred year. In short, automobile is an enduring menace to the health of human-being and will lose it source of power in foreseeable future.

Also consider the development of computer science, admittedly, on the one hand, productivity software helps us plan and coordinate projects; the Internet makes us more efficient messengers; and robots helps us avoid onerous and dangerous tasks. On the other hand, in the face of the fact that most of the machine is controlled by computers, we will be rushed and fanatic if these machine is out of power. Our productivity will be inefficient and the quality of life will be damaged in short of basic necessities. Another case in point is that people’s privacy is threatened due to the global use of Internet, thus may lead our lives exposed to others and no longer peaceful.

A third compelling reason to support my view is the advent of genetic technology. Advances in genetics can help prevent birth defects and improve to treat some ailments incurable before. Recently, a laboratory in USA has created a kind of gene which can increase humans’ strength by 25%. This achievement can be necessarily used in some physical work. Yet, when it comes to the controversial issue of cloning, people have long worried about that our lives will be threatened if some ill-intended scientists apply this cloning technology to create duplicate of someone already in the world. The result is the whole world will get into mess.

In sum, the advancement of technology benefits us a lot in almost every aspect in our lives, such as saving our time, decreasing the work intensity, making us informed and improve our health condition. Nevertheless, at the same time, it creates more problems that damage or even threaten the quality of our lives, which compels us to engage our energy in seeking the solutions to them. Accordingly, on balance the speaker is fundamentally correct.

还是有些超时，这段时间请大家多看看我的文章，等我考完一定回报，谢谢！

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

196."Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life."

Whether technology enhances or diminishes our overall quality of life is a complex and controversial issue. I strongly agree with the speaker that the advancements of science and technology in some degree come with convenience and comfort in our daily life, but at the same time harm may outweigh the benefits currently or in the long term. Three examples that aptly illustrate this point involve automobile, computer science and genetic technology.

[U]First consider the automobile, it is no doubt the most influential invention that facilitates our everyday work and can carry us everywhere we want to go for a trip. [/U] 语法好像有点问题，first consider感觉有点怪，it is no doubt是不是应该是there is no doubt that...而且doubt后面那句似乎没有谓语 However, we overlook the fact that it is also the most important contributing factor to the traffic accidents. A great number of people lose their lives直接写are killed好些吧 every year, [U]say nothing of even more who are injured or maimed due to the carelessness of drivers or pedestrians.[/U]  用not concluding好些。In the meantimemeanwhile, all the harmful emissions exhausted from millions of automobiles have already begun to destroy the ozone and warm the earth to dangerous levels. And the incidence of chronic respiratory diseases increases remarkably year after year. Moreover, the finite natural resources are universally known to be consumed up in less than a hundred year. In short, automobile is an enduring menace to the health of human-being and will lose it source of power in foreseeable future.

Also consider the development of computer science, [U]admittedly, on the one hand, [/U] 连着两个插入语似乎不好productivity software helps us plan and coordinate projects; the Internet makes us more efficient messengers; and robots helps us avoid onerous and dangerous tasks. On the other hand, in the face of the fact that most of the machine is controlled by computers, we will be rushed and fanatic if these machine is out of power. Our productivity will be inefficient and the quality of life will be damaged in short of basic necessities. Another case in point is that people’s privacy is threatened due to the global use of Internet, thus may lead our lives exposed to others and no longer peaceful.

A third compelling reason to support my view is the advent of genetic technology. Advances in genetics can help prevent birth defects and improve to treat some ailments incurable before. Recently, a laboratory in USA has created a kind of gene which can increase humans’ strength by 25%. 真的假的，可以具体一点如：Bilologists in Wisconsin University points out that a gene.....This achievement can be necessarily used in some physical work. Yet, when it comes to the controversial issue of cloning, people have long beenworried about that our lives will be threatened if some ill-intended scientists apply this cloning technology to create duplicate of someone already in the world. The result is the whole world will get into mess.

In sum, the advancement of technology benefits us a lot in almost every aspect in our lives, such as saving our time, decreasing the work intensity, making us informed and improveing our health condition. Nevertheless, at the same time这两个词都有转折的意思，显得重复, it creates more problems that damage or even threaten the quality of our lives, which 不如用and连，which有点指代不明的感觉compels us to engage our energy in seeking the solutions to them. Accordingly, on balance the speaker is fundamentally correct.
最后一句的作用不大


思路很清楚，基本结构也很好。但是语言上的问题还挺多，很多句子不同程度的存在语法问题，建议你把这篇的每一句都想想有没有更准确的说法。加油！

zjuyangUID: 157264

谢谢你认真的批阅，我一定仔细修改。
还希望今后能得到你的帮助！^_^

zjuyangUID: 157264

那个例子是真的，是前不久体育新闻里说的。当时记得是提到美国短跑选手琼斯服用兴奋剂，怕这种基因会被某些运动员非法利用。你设计的scenario可以使这个例子更有说服力。

apolloxpUID: 156355

既然确有其事 指明道姓地提起琼斯 不是显得更有说服力？