Issue51 教育类 求大家拍啊。还有6天就烤了，可这是偶的第一篇

pdyhcUID: 177332

Issue51. "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

What forms should education assume in our rapid evolving era? Is education that is designed to meet individual needs or interests of each student the most effective means? For my part, education should take different forms to serve its special purpose in different stages. （原来前两句有离题之嫌，删了）

In primary education system, aiming at constructing integrative and comprehensive basic knowledge framework, education should be designed according to general standard instead of individual preferences of each student. As we all know, the aim of primary education is to construct an integrative and comprehensive knowledge framework, which calls for general national curriculum. In this stage, the efficiency of education lies in uniforming arrangements of teaching and basic courses instead of meeting individual needs or interests of students. The first reason is that the primary school, middle school and high school students are not old enough to have clear idea about their true interests or needs, let alone their career plan or life goals. What’s more, their interests and needs cannot represent the general requirements of basic knowledge for further study in most circumstances. They are usually imaginative and capricious. Their various interests usually contradict with each other, too. One grade three boy may tell you he wants to become a physical scientist when a physical scientist influences him. However, after he read some biographies of famous politicians later, he may tell you that he wants to be an outstanding politician. Later, when he is encountered to some tragedies such as fire or flood in which many people are deprived of their lives, he may decided to become a doctor in the future. In such circumstances, it is impossible, and unnecessary as well, to design education to meet individual needs, not to mention the availability of social resources.

Furthermore, designing education to meet individual needs in such situations may not promote but do harm to the so-called efficiency of education in the long run. Why? For in order to meet individual inconsistent or even paradoxical needs and interests of each student, the education designed to meet individual needs and interests must accommodate itself to fit the changed situation dynamically and frequently at the expenses of the loss of construction of systematic, firm and integrative knowledge framework for the student.(这里我把原来零散的句子整合了一下). When the students grow older and want to study further, they may fall in such predicament that for lacking of well-knit knowledge basis, they may find themselves landed in difficulty to absorb new knowledge; for lacking of comprehensive knowledge framework, they know little about the overall situation about the science development and they cannot find a proper topic to do research or they find it is difficult to locate themselves in the current era. The efficiency of education will decrease as a result. And again, further education cannot be performed easily in such situation. In a word, primary education should be designed according to a general standard to provide students a comprehensive knowledge basis, and therefore establish a firm basis for further education in the future. Otherwise, the education designed to meet individual needs can be expected to be a big chaos leading to a loss of the efficiency of education.

However, considering the function of high education, which aiming at producing creative individuals, designing education to meet individual needs or interests may be a better choice concerning improving the efficiency of education. Based on the basic knowledge they gained in primary education, college or university students begin to explore their true interests and plan their career and look for proper ways to bridge them. (这里表达也改过了。自己觉得更精练)In such situation, education designed to meet the students’ individual needs and interests, and therefore provide the students an enough space and good opportunities to develop their individual interests, will be most effective certainly. Of course students will favor distinctive teaching ways and courses concerning their individual interests. As the old proverb says, “Interest is the best teacher”. What’s more, taking human psychological needs into account, people are willing to be recognized as “anybody”. (anybody 有一个含义是“重要的人物“的意思) Therefore, when people are engaged in things they are interested and gain pride from the courses customized for them, their potential talents are tend to be fully developed非常感谢blur的这个提议, and thus the efficiency of education will be promoted dramatically.

Nevertheless, one should not neglect the importance of balancing the special education and general education in different stages. The fact that general education is crucial for gaining high efficiency of education in primary education and special education is vital to produce effective education in high education doesn’t mean that the two education modes are mutually exclusive in different stages. In fact, in the primary stage, paying attention to students’ outstanding performance and providing proper space for him or her to develop such strong suit are important. As we all known, many talents will be buried or ruined seriously if they are not developed timely or don’t deserve enough attention. In high education, basic education shouldn’t quit the stage absolutely and immediately either. Primary education mainly provides basic knowledge. However, further study in colleges or universities need more higher basic knowledge such as advanced maths, language skills, etc.. So general education shouldn’t be drawn out from the college or university courses either.

In one word, education should be designed to serve its special function. There is not any universal standard of designing education that is applicable to all cases. Effective education may be developed and achieved when different aims of different stage education are taken into account.顺序改了一下

变色部分是我自己的修改。大家看看。呵呵

第一断的后半截拆到两个body了。至于两段合并，感觉太长，不好整，就凑合了。想想反正说的也不完全是一个主题。谢大家了

继续拍啊

freckleforeverUID: 184710

刚刚拷下来，不过时间不够了，明早再来学习。

blur13_0UID: 150275

;) pdyhc,不好意思，一天没上网，才看到你的留言，我现在就把你文章下下来改，争取今天就发上来！！

happymichelleUID: 154082

Our 21st century economies and societies are increasingly knowledge-based, some would even say knowledge-driven, shifting away from older industrial models. What role does or should education play in this transformation process? What forms should education assume and how to make education most effective? Is education that is designed to meet individual needs or interests of each students, the most effective means? As far as I am concerned, education should take different forms considering different stages. （就此打住，后面的可以在具体body展开）In primary education system, aiming at constructing integrative and comprehensive basic knowledge framework, education should be designed according to general standard instead of individual preferences of students. However, considering the function of high education, which aiming at producing creative individuals, designing education to meet individuals needs or interests may do good to the students, and therefore increase the effectivity of education.开头太长了，只要简明表态就可

As we all known, the aim of primary education is to construct an integrative and comprehensive knowledge framework, which calls for general national curriculum(这句看着怎么这么眼熟，hehe) In this stage, the efficiency of education lies in uniforming arrangements of teaching and basic courses instead of meeting individual needs or interests of students. The first reason is that the primary school, middle school and high school students are not old enough to have definite idea about their true interests or needs, which are not equal to the so-called individual favor on the surface, and their long-term plan of their lives. What’s more, their interests and needs cannot present the general requirements of basic knowledge for further study in most cases. They are usually imaginative and capricious. One grade three boy may tell you he wants to become a physical scientist when he is affected by one person who is a physical scientist. However, after he read some biographies of famous politicians later, he may tell you that he wants to be an outstanding politician. Later, when he is encountered with some tragedy such as fire or flood in which many people are deprived of their lives, he may decided to become a doctor in the future. In such cases, how to design education to meet individual preference? We can say a young boy know little about his true interests and needs, let alone his career plan. In this case, it is impossible, and unnecessary as well, to design education to meet individual needs. (观点明确,意思是小孩不懂自己的兴趣，所以根本谈不上meet their needs)

Furthermore, designing education to meet individual needs in such(which?) case may not increase but do harm to the effectivity of education in the long run.（说如果这样做的坏处） Why? For in such situation, education designed to meet individuals needs and interests are not systematic and unstable. In order to meet individual needs and interests, it must adjust itself to fit the new situation when the individual interests changed. Consequently, it fails to constructive a systematic, firm and integrative knowledge framework for the student. Then, when the students grow older and when they want to study further, they may fall in such predicament that for lacking well-knit knowledge basis, they may find themselves landed in difficulty to absorb new knowledge; for lacking comprehensive knowledge framework, they know little about the overall situation about the science development and they cannot find a proper topic to do research or they find it is difficult to locate themselves in the current era.(see~说没有系统的知识框架，根本谈不上满足兴趣) The efficiency of education will decrease accordingly. And again, further education cannot be performed easily in such situation. In a word, primary education should be designed according to a general standard to provide students a comprehensive knowledge basis, and therefore establish a firm basis for the further education in the future. Otherwise, the so-called education which is designed to meet individual needs can be expected to be a big chaos leading to a loss of the effectivity(efficiency) of education.(初级教育意在让孩子们具备基础知识)

However, as to high education, things are changed greatly. Individual needs and interests of students should be taken into account as an important part in designing education. Usually, college or university students have gained the basic knowledge in primary education. Now they begin to plan their career. Their current imperative task is to figure out their true interests and try to develop them to meet their career plan and goal. In such situation, education designed to meet the students’ individual needs and interests, and therefore provide the students an enough space and good opportunities to develop their individual interests, will be most(more) effective certainly. Of course students will favor distinctive teaching ways and courses corresponding to their own preferences. As the old proverb says, “Interest is the best teacher”. What’s more, taking human psychological needs into account, people like to be distinctive and regarded as “anybody”.(这句话有点不连贯，明白你的意思是说人们渴望被尊重，希望学校根据他们的意愿安排课程) Therefore, when people are engaged in things they are interested and gain pride from the courses customized for them, their potential talents are tend to be developed fully, and thus the effectivity of education will be improved dramatically.

Nevertheless, one shouldn’t neglect the importance of balancing the special education and general education in different stages. The fact that general education is crucial for gaining high effectivity of education in primary education and special education is vital to produce effective education in high education doesn’t mean that the two education modes are mutually exclusive in different stages. In fact, in the primary stage, paying attention to students’ outstanding performance and providing proper space for him or her to develop such strong suit are important. As we all known, many talents will be buried or ruined seriously if they are not developed timely or don’t deserve enough attention. In high education, basic education shouldn’t quit the stage absolutely and immediately either. Primary education mainly provides basic knowledge. However, further study in colleges or universities need more higher basic knowledge such as advanced maths, language skill, etc.. So general education shouldn’t be drew out from the college or university courses either.

In one word, education should be designed to corresponding（correspond） to its special function. There is not any universal standard of designing education that is applicable to all cases. Only(only 引导句子,是要不是的意思，在这里不合适) the(omitted) different aims of different stage education are taken into account, the(an) effective education may be developed.
观点还比较清楚，结构也不错，就是文章太长了，晕阿~
不过在论证上，大量泛泛说理的内容，而真正论据不足
语言方面没有来得及仔细看，不好意思的说~

blur13_0UID: 150275

;) No.1 Issue51 教育类 求大家拍啊。还有6天就烤了，可这是偶的第一篇
Issue51. "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."


Our 21st century economies and societies are increasingly knowledge-based,不解为何economies and societies用复数 some would even say knowledge-driven, shifting away from older industrial modelsmodes. What role does or should education play in this transformation process? What forms should education assume and how to make education most effective? Is education that is designed to meet individual needs or interests of each students, the most effective means?此举没懂 As far as I am concerned不太地道，可考虑改为For my part, education should take different forms considering different stages. In primary education system, aiming at constructing integrative and comprehensive basic knowledge framework, education should be designed according to general standard instead of individual preferences of students. However, considering the function of high education, which aiming at producing creative individuals, designing education to meet individuals needs or interests may do good to the students, and therefore increase the effectivity of education.前面说的transformation process是背景，可以一句说清楚，问句太多，可以缩为一句Our 21st century economies and societies are increasingly knowledge-based, some would even say knowledge-driven, shifting away from older industrial models. In this transformation process，is education that is designed to meet individual needs or interests of each students, the most effective means?

As we all known, the aim of primary education is to construct an integrative and comprehensive knowledge framework, which calls for general national curriculum. In this stage, the efficiency of education lies in uniforming arrangements of teaching and basic courses instead of meeting individual needs or interests of students. The first reason is that the primary school, middle school and high school students are not old enough to have definite idea about their true interests or needs, which are not equal to the so-called individual favor on the surface, and their long-term plan of their lives. What’s more, their interests and needs can not present the general requirements of basic knowledge for further study in most cases. They are usually imaginative and capricious. One grade three boy may tell you he wants to become a physical scientist when he is affected by one person who is a physical scientist. However, after he read some biographies of famous politicians later, he may tell you that he wants to be an outstanding politician. Later, when he is encountered with some tragedy such as fire or flood in which many people are deprived of their lives, he may decided to become a doctor in the future. In such cases, how to design education to meet individual preference? We can say a young boy know little about his true interests and needs, let alone his career plan. In this case, it is impossible, and unnecessary as well, to design education to meet individual needs.

Furthermore, designing education to meet individual needs in such case may not increase换为promote but do harm to the effectivity of education in the long run. Why? For in such situation, education designed to meet individuals needs and interests are not systematic and unstable. 上句罗索In order to meet individual needs and interests, it must adjust itself to fit the new situation when the individual interests changed. Consequently, it fails to constructive a systematic, firm and integrative knowledge framework for the student. Then, when the students grow older and when they want to study further, they may fall in such predicament that for lacking well-knit knowledge basis, they may find themselves landed in difficulty to absorb new knowledge; for lacking comprehensive knowledge framework, they know little about the overall situation about the science development and they cannot find a proper topic to do research or they find it is difficult to locate themselves in the current era. The efficiency of education will decrease accordingly. And again, further education cannot be performed easily in such situation. In a word, primary education should be designed according to a general standard to provide students a comprehensive knowledge basis, and therefore establish a firm basis for the further education in the future. Otherwise, the so-called education which is designed to meet individual needs can be expected to be a big chaos leading to a loss of the effectivity of education.上两段文字表达清晰，比我生动多了，感觉有意拉长战线写，如果减肥为一段不难，效果会不错。

However, as to high education, things are changed greatly. Individual needs and interests of students should be taken into account as an important part in designing education. Usually, college or university students have gained the basic knowledge in primary education. Now they begin to plan their career.联系到career很好 Their current imperative task is to figure out their true interests and try to develop them to meet their career plan and goal. In such situation, education designed to meet the students’ individual needs and interests, and therefore provide the students an enough space and good opportunities to develop their individual interests, will be most effective certainly. Of course students will favor distinctive teaching ways and courses corresponding to their own preferences. As the old proverb says, “Interest is the best teacher”. What’s more, taking human psychological needs into account, people like to be distinctive and regarded as “anybody”. Therefore, when people are engaged in things they are interested and gain pride from the courses customized for them, their potential talents are tend to be developed fully提前, and thus the effectivity of education will be improved dramatically.此段长短正好，论述很细，不错

Nevertheless, one shouldn’t不要缩写 neglect the importance of balancing the special education and general education in different stages. The fact that general education is crucial for gaining high effectivity of education in primary education and special education is vital to produce effective education in high education doesn’t mean that the two education modes are mutually exclusive in different stages. In fact, in the primary stage, paying attention to students’ outstanding performance and providing proper space for him or her to develop such strong suit are important. As we all known, many talents will be buried or ruined seriously if they are not developed timely or don’t deserve enough attention. In high education, basic education shouldn’t quit the stage absolutely and immediately either. Primary education mainly provides basic knowledge. However, further study in colleges or universities need more higher basic knowledge such as advanced maths, language skill, etc.. So general education shouldn’t be drew out from the college or university courses either. 把平衡展开正是我缺的，值得学习

In one word, education should be designed to删 corresponding to its special function. There is not any universal standard of designing education that is applicable to all cases. Only the different aims of different stage education are taken into account, the effective education may be developed.应倒装
总提建议
1把body2,3缩为一段
2开头减肥
3表达很生动，例子论述很细，值得学习
4整体流畅，能写这么多，羡慕！！！
5保持信心，我觉基本达标了。俺现在差远了，写的牛慢！伤心啊

pdyhcUID: 177332

偶根据大家的意见修改过了，感觉文章除了长了点，其他很多方面都改进了。尤其是语言的表达和精练下了一番功夫。自我感觉良好哦 :cool:

为了缩减版面，我直接把改过的帖到一楼的位置了。劳烦大家再拍几块？


早上寄托好像进不了。才看到


非常感谢大家的关注，尤其是 happymichelle和blur这么细致的修改，让我受益很多。我下周四就考了，这是第一篇，看来大家还算认可，多少让我有了点信心。我会继续努力。回头我也会尽力去看大家的作文。 下一个目标就是blur的144。 我还写了一篇art, 131吧，为了减轻版面负担，昨天是跟别人的帖。大家帮看看啊   再鞠躬

happymichelle说里面有句话眼熟，是从blur作文里 借来的。在他的主题下，我已说明是根据他的提纲和内容进行的再创造，希望不算剽窃和侵权啊