issue44---政府资助科研（附中文提纲）欢迎指正。谢谢。

panda2727UID: 138271

44. "Government should not fund any scientific research whose consequences, either medical or ethical, are unclear."

1.政府为什么应该资助科学工作？
2.科学工作结果是大多不确定性的。所以不能用结构是否明了来判断是否资助。
3.那么判断的标准是什么？

What is government? Government is an organization composed by series of departments, which is elected by the public. It is its responsibility, representing the public, to manage the society, making sure society develop steadily. It protects any actions that is beneficial to society and fights against any actions, which endanger the security of society. Well, what is the purpose of scientific research? As far as the most scientific research is concerned, its direct purpose is to develop new knowledge, working as the necessary theoretical fundamental to solve new problems. Another direct purpose is to research new method, replacing the previous one, which is not suitable for new problems, to solve new questions. And researching and producing new product is also one of the direct purposes of scientific research. People can use new product to improve the life quality, and enjoy the convenient bringing by it. In short, the purpose of any scientific research (except some research done by a few crazy scientists, who do not concern about the society's steady development.) is based on the development of society, and most of scientific research brings benefit to the society. However, with the development of the science, scientific research becomes more and more complex. In common sense, one research at present calls for knowledge from many different subjects, and need the corporation among the scientists from different fields. That problem is an easier one to solve, and only the power of scientific fields is enough. The other problems, which is the vital one and scientific field alone cannot solve, is lack of fund in scientific research. To keep on research, some new or large equipment is needed, which some scientists and institute cannot be afforded. And the necessary fund for running research is also a big one. So, without the support from the society, lots of scientific research cannot be carried out continuously. As the manager of the society, it is the government who has the responsibility to fund scientific research. But the fund of our government is limited and cannot fund all of the researches. Is there any need to fund the scientific research whose consequences are unclear? The answer is definitely yes.

Scientific research has the same character: their consequences are not clear. Any scientific research's goal is to solve some problems. The concrete contents are in following two fields. One is that developing new method to solve the existing problems, which are solved by old method that may not be exactly suitable. The other is that solving completely new problems, which do not exist before. The same character of those contents is that the work, no matter the new method or new problems, is the one that there is none of scientists do it before. Since it is a completely new work, there are no people can previse the consequences of research. If the government did not fund any scientific research whose consequences were not clear, there is no research the government should fund. Without fund from government, only a little research can keep on.

What is the real standard to government to judge whether the scientific research is worth funding? It depends on its purpose. When there are not any consequences, which cannot be prevised before, the purpose whether the research will be done in order to the development of society is only the judgment. For example, the technology of clone can be researched for replacing human organs, used for medical care purpose. This research is useful for people's health, so government should fund it. But the same technology can be also used for cloning human itself, which is a serious challenge to the ethic of human society. For this purpose, government not only should not fund it, but also should cancel it by its power.

Which scientific research should be funded by government do not depend on whether the consequences are clear or not. If the purpose of the research is beneficial to the whole society, the government has the responsibility to fund it and support it.

coniUID: 137677

看了以后给我的两个最明显的感觉就是：
1。跑题
2。开头过于冗余

  我认为从题目看，作者应该主要谈对于那些结果不清晰的科学研究，无论是医学上的还是伦理上的，政府是否应该支持？

  我觉得在开头第一段应该明确并且简洁的提出你的论点，在你的文章中就是“Is there any need to fund the scientific research whose consequences are unclear? The answer is definitely yes”你在第一段用了非常多的篇幅在说什么是政府，什么是科学研究，以及为什么要进行科学研究（虽然按你的提纲是说政府为什么要资助科学研究，但是我认为这点你说的并不充分，我看来你主要是在说为什么要进行科学研究）。我觉得没有必要用“大量的篇幅”来论述为什么要进行科学研究，因为本文的重点是对于那些“结果不明确”的研究。从宏观上谈论“科学研究”我认为并没有加强对本文论点的支持。

   在第二段中，提纲中说的是科学工作的结果“大多是不确定”的，而读完给人的感觉是你在说明“因为任何科学研究的结果都有不确定的因素，所以要怎么怎么样。”和你的提纲就是有出入的。从你下面的这句话中“If the government did not fund any scientific research whose consequences were not clear, there is no research the government should fund.”就可以明显看出你的言外之意是“没有一些科学研究的结果是确定的，因为如果government 不
fund any scientific research ，就there is no research the government should fund”这样的话就把原题的意思变了。除非你可以严密的论证所有的科学研究“都是”结果不确定的。但是我认为你在这方面的论证并不充分。

   第三段的内容是不错的。我认为你应该把这篇文章的重点放在第三段这样的段落中。主要从一些例子来论证无论是医学的还是伦理的，科学研究是否被资助应该取决于他们的“目的”。

   总体来讲，我的建议是在第一段开头点出你的中心思想，并简单论证一下在你提纲中第二段的内容，然后把文章的重点放在扩充你的第三段内容。使论证更加饱满。


What is government? Government is an organization composed by series of departments, which is elected by the public. It is its responsibility, representing the public, to manage the society, making sure society develop steadily. It protects any actions that is beneficial to society and fights against any actions, which endanger the security of society.(我认为前面的这些都和主题无关) Well, what is the purpose of scientific research? As far as the most scientific research is concerned, its direct purpose is to develop new knowledge, working as the necessary theoretical fundamental to solve new problems. Another direct purpose is to research new method, replacing the previous one, which is not suitable for new problems, to solve new questions. And researching and producing new product is also one of the direct purposes of scientific research. （连续出现了3个 direct purposes ，重复）People can use new product to improve the life quality, and enjoy the convenient bringing by it. In short, the purpose （又一个purpose）of any scientific research (except some research done by a few crazy scientists, who do not concern about the society's steady development.) is based on the development of society, and most of scientific research brings benefit to the society. However, with the development of the science, scientific research becomes more and more complex. In common sense, one research at present calls for knowledge from many different subjects, and need the corporation among the scientists from different fields. That problem is an easier one to solve, and only the power of scientific fields is enough. The other problems, which is the vital one and scientific field alone cannot solve, is lack of fund in scientific research. To keep on research, some new or large equipment is needed, which some scientists and institute cannot be afforded. And the necessary fund for running research is also a big one. So, without the support from the society, lots of scientific research cannot be carried out continuously. As the manager of the society, it is the government who has the responsibility to fund scientific research. （这里的论证不明确，为什么需要Fund 就一定是government?虽然government protects any actions that is beneficial to society ,为什么government就要资助）the But the fund of our government is limited and cannot fund all of the researches. Is there any need to fund the scientific research whose consequences are unclear? The answer is definitely yes.（这句话应该放在开头，点题）

Scientific research has the same character: their consequences are not clear. Any scientific research's goal is to solve some problems. The concrete contents are in following two fields. One is that developing new method to solve the existing problems, which are solved by old method that may not be exactly suitable. The other is that solving completely new problems, which do not exist before. The same character of those contents is that the work, no matter the new method or new problems, is the one that there is none of scientists do it before. Since it is a completely new work, there are no people can previse the consequences of research. If the government did not fund any scientific research whose consequences were not clear, there is no research the government should fund. （这一块的论证有点无力）Without fund from government, only a little research can keep on.（有一些我觉得不需要用从句的地方不要全用从句，看起来怪怪的）

What is the real standard to government to judge whether the scientific research is worth funding? It depends on its purpose. When there are not any consequences, which cannot be prevised before, the purpose whether the research will be done in order to the development of society is only the judgment. For example, the technology of clone can be researched for replacing human organs, used for medical care purpose. This research is useful for people's health, so government should fund it. But the same technology can be also used for cloning human itself, which is a serious challenge to the ethic of human society. For this purpose, government not only should not fund it, but also should cancel it by its power.（应该扩充这一段，作为本文的主干）

Which scientific research should be funded by government do not depend on whether the consequences are clear or not. If the purpose of the research is beneficial to the whole society, the government has the responsibility to fund it and support it.

以上是我个人的一点看法，仅为参考

panda2727UID: 138271

首先谢谢你的详细批改。真得很谢谢。

最初由 coni 发布 我觉得在开头第一段应该明确并且简洁的提出你的论点，在你的文章中就是“Is there any need to fund the scientific research whose consequences are unclear? The answer is definitely yes”你在第一段用了非常多的篇幅在说什么是政府，什么是科学研究，以及为什么要进行科学研究（虽然按你的提纲是说政府为什么要资助科学研究，但是我认为这点你说的并不充分，我看来你主要是在说为什么要进行科学研究）。我觉得没有必要用“大量的篇幅”来论述为什么要进行科学研究，因为本文的重点是对于那些“结果不明确”的研究。从宏观上谈论“科学研究”我认为并没有加强对本文论点的支持。

我第一段的逻辑是这样的：政府是管理社会的，研究又是有利于社会的，所以政府有必要支持研究。我并不是要说为什么要进行科学研究。而是说科学研究做出了哪些东西，总结到一点，就是它们有利于社会。可能语言罗嗦了，表意不清楚。

最初由 coni 发布 在第二段中，提纲中说的是科学工作的结果“大多是不确定”的，而读完给人的感觉是你在说明“因为任何科学研究的结果都有不确定的因素，所以要怎么怎么样。”和你的提纲就是有出入的。从你下面的这句话中“If the government did not fund any scientific research whose consequences were not clear, there is no research the government should fund.”就可以明显看出你的言外之意是“没有一些科学研究的结果是确定的，因为如果government 不
fund any scientific research ，就there is no research the government should fund”这样的话就把原题的意思变了。除非你可以严密的论证所有的科学研究“都是”结果不确定的。但是我认为你在这方面的论证并不充分。

第二段我的确意思是说没有一个研究结果是明确的。中文提纲没有写对。抱歉。

我会十分认真的考虑你的意见。初步认为：第一段应该精简，第三段加入例子证明，应该会使文章变好一些。我再仔细构思一下。

玉面小狐狸UID: 188981

我觉得文章的结构较比古怪，而且似乎没什么论证语言，好像没有多少很有说服力的话。
我的意见基本和coni相同，我还认为你第一段的话可以穿插一些在论述的过程中，而且论到最后如果没话说，可反面扩大一段，论述如果政府不赞助的话会怎样，即使有一定民间资助，但失去政府扶持会给科学家造成他们的研究不受重视的错觉，继而打击他们创新进步的积极性，如果大部分科学家有了这种想法，创新研究就会受到极大的打击，社会发展缓慢甚至阻滞不前，后果是不可挽回的。说的吓人一点无妨。不过这种反面扩大是辅助论述，篇幅不可过大，在结尾段前加一个四五行的小段子就可以了
另外似乎所有提到政府资助是几乎都用了fund这个词，我认为适当变换一下会好一点

panda2727UID: 138271

呵呵，“似乎没什么论证语言，好像没有多少很有说服力的话”楼上还真打击我。不过欢迎这样的评论。欢迎欢迎。看来这篇文章还是起到了应该有的靶子的效果，使我从楼上和楼上的楼上学到了重要的东西。

从反面说是一种很好的扩充内容的方法，只要不冲淡主题。
用词要同义替换，恩，我记下了。

谢谢你。