issue241 快要考了，大家帮忙看看吧

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

Issue241  第16篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

快要考了，坚持每天发，大家监督我。
感觉越写越滥了，信心也一点点的减少了
还有两个星期，一定要坚持住！

------题目------
An individual's greatness cannot be judged objectively by his or her contemporaries; the most objective evaluators of a person's greatness are people who belong to a later time.
------正文------
Can an individual’s greatness be judged more objectively by his or her contemporaries or people who belong to a later time? In my opinion, evaluation about an individual is more accurate in the eyes of later people rather than contemporaries.

First, in some areas, the effects of an individual’s work need a long period to be recognized. In scientific field, many theories were suggested very early, but limited by experimental conditions or insufficient developments of other subjects, those theories were testified after a long time. For example, John Nash, a mathematician who won Nobel Prize for economics in his 66 years old, suffered from metal problems soon after he presented a mathematic theory in his young age. The theory had not been noticed for a long time until people found that the theory can efficiently solve some problems in economics. Until then, his great contribution had been affirmed. His story has been adapted to the movie “A Beautiful Mind” in Hollywood. In fact, there are more people who have not gained what they deserve in his life time and have no opportunities to win Nobel Prize, because it can only be given to people alive.

Second, some geniuses are too innovative to be understood by contemporaries. Prodigies seem to consider things from a particular angle, which is beyond the concepts of the public. Only people living in a later time, who can view the prodigies together with their circumstance, can recognize the merits in their ideas. For instance, van Gogh, one of the famous artists in the history, had been leading a poor live and struggled with depression and loneliness until suicide. Decades later, people began to realize that those paintings, which seemed dummy and strange, expressed the inner world of the great artist.

Third, judgments from contemporaries are easily influenced by the conflicting interests from different groups. Take a political leader’s decisions for example; it is inevitable that some ones will benefit from the policies and others’ interests might be undermined. In this case, the former might judge the leader positively and the latter might evaluate his work negatively. One example is the Sun-centered theory of Copernicus, which contradicted to the interests of the Roman Catholic Church. Under the pressure of Inquisition, few people dared to support Copernicus’ achievement. Bruno, an advocator of Copernicus, was burned at the stake. Many years after Copernicus’ death, his theory was accepted by the public.

Admittedly, judgments from contemporaries should not be neglected either when evaluating a person. Ideas from contemporaries may contain more detailed and direct information. Critically considering these ideas from contemporaries could help later people give a more integrated evaluation to a historic individual.

To sum up, judgments from people in a later time are more objective than those from contemporaries. To evaluate an individual’s greatness objectively, one should pay more attention to the evaluation from people in a later time.

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

偶和你考试日期差不多，先站下了，一会儿回来！

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

我觉得你第一个和第二个论点有重复的地方

而且，第一段中你举的例子有点问题，同时代的人应该是给予Nash认可 难倒只有在年轻的时候得到认可或者说一旦成果出来马上被认可才算是被同时代的人认可么？ 至少应该定义一下contempories

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

------题目------
An individual's greatness cannot be judged objectively by his or her contemporaries; the most objective evaluators of a person's greatness are people who belong to a later time.
------正文------
Can an individual’s greatness be judged more objectively by his or her contemporaries or people who belong to a later time? In my opinion, evaluation about an individual is more accurate in the eyes of later people rather than contemporaries. 感觉首段有点太单薄了，看了imong，pooh的研究报告表明，首段应当适当对主题总结，有个背景介绍也可，否则结论显得很唐突

First, in some areas, the effects of an individual’s work need a long period to be recognized. In scientific field, many theories were suggested very early, but limited by experimental conditions or insufficient developments of other subjects, those theories were testified after a long time. For example, John Nash, a mathematician who won Nobel Prize for economics in his 66 years old, suffered from metal problems soon after he presented a mathematic theory in his young age. The theory had not been noticed for a long time until people found that the theory can efficiently solve some problems in economics. Until then, his great contribution had been affirmed. His story has been adapted to the movie “A Beautiful Mind” in Hollywood. In fact, there are more people who have not gained what they deserve in his life time and have no opportunities to win Nobel Prize, because it can only be given to people alive. 这个偶不知道呢，惭愧。。。
偶以为，例子是为中心服务的，例子摆在着不能说明问题，应当就例子的普遍意义说明一下，比如这种现象后面的本质内容：科学研究的超前性，insightfulness, forecast等谈一谈吧

Second, some geniuses are too innovative to be understood by contemporaries. Prodigies seem to consider things from a particular angle, which is beyond the concepts of the public. Only people living in a later time, who can view the prodigies together with their circumstance, can recognize the merits in their ideas. For instance, van Gogh, one of the famous artists in the history, had been leading a poor live and struggled with depression and loneliness until suicide. Decades later, people began to realize that those paintings, which seemed dummy and strange, expressed the inner world of the great artist. 老van的例子好像已经举烂了。。。

Third, judgments from contemporaries are easily influenced by the conflicting interests from different groups. Take a political leader’s decisions for example; it is inevitable that some ones will benefit from the policies and others’ interests might be undermined. In this case, the former might judge the leader positively and the latter might evaluate his work negatively. One example is the Sun-centered theory of Copernicus, which contradicted to the interests of the Roman Catholic Church. Under the pressure of Inquisition, few people dared to support Copernicus’ achievement. Bruno, an advocator of Copernicus, was burned at the stake. Many years after Copernicus’ death, his theory was accepted by the public.
建议例子个性化，否则。。。

Admittedly, judgments from contemporaries should not be neglected either when evaluating a person. Ideas from contemporaries may contain more detailed and direct information. Critically considering these ideas from contemporaries could help later people give a more integrated evaluation to a historic individual.

To sum up, judgments from people in a later time are more objective than those from contemporaries. To evaluate an individual’s greatness objectively, one should pay more attention to the evaluation from people in a later time.

楼猪的思路和语言都比较清晰，但是小弟觉得应当可以在从以下方面改进：

1对开头再下下功夫，有个background introduction
2例子个性化，这个不太好搞定，我也在寻找解决它的办法:(
3对例子的利用也要在完善，in other words: 深化例子！
其实小弟做得也不好，以上供参考。:D
有时间的话，帮偶改一篇吧，凉了一天了，没人看:(
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=241999

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

多谢了！我去瞧瞧你的文章

flyingwindUID: 189320

第3body 有个错误。开始是Take a political leader’s decisions for example
然后是One example is the Sun-centered theory of Copernicus
读起来让人以为是上面说的政治家的一个特例。而theory of Copernicus不是政治家！
该为another example involves the Sun-centered theory of Copernicus...

九月爱上乒乓球说的每错，
1。nash的例子不严密。可以说元素周期表的发明人门捷列夫有生之年没被给于Nobel奖等等
2。我觉得你第一个和第二个论点有重复的地方   也同意；甚至觉得你的第3个支持段也和第1，2段有重合的地方。copernicus的例子就与前文有重合。why？ 说他的theory“too innovative to be understood ”也可以吧？说他“work need a long period to be recognized.”也可以吧？
所以逻辑上面不清晰

建议分领域写可能好点。科学界和文艺界

让步段写的有点匆匆啊，以前有人说ETS提倡写了就要展开，不知对不。

共同进步！

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

多谢九月和flyingwind的指正

感觉我这篇文章的例子都不是很到位

而且三个论点选的也不好

我先看看别人的文章，再重写一片

pdyhcUID: 177332

Can an individual’s greatness be judged more objectively by his or her contemporaries oror 是不是可以用more than by people who belong to a later time感觉who belong to a later time有点别扭，是不是斟酌一下？? In my opinion, evaluation aboutof? an individual is more accurate in the eyes of later people rather than his contemporaries. First, in some areas, the effects of an individual’s work need a long period of time to be recognized.( In scientific field, many theories were suggestedproposed very early, but limited by experimental conditions or insufficient developments of other subjects, those theories were testified after a long time. )括号里的话，修改如下：In scientific field, many theories proposed very early but limitied by experimental conditions or insufficient developments of other subjects only could be testified after a long time.For example, John Nash, a mathematician who won Nobel Prize for economics in his 66 years old, suffered from metal problems soon after he presented a mathematic theory in his young age这里应该再发展一下，说他得了精神病，很大程度上是因为人们没有充分重视他的理论，从而很郁闷什么的. The theory had not been noticed for a long time until people found that the theory can efficiently solve some problems in economics. Until then, his great contribution had been affirmed. His story has been adapted to the movie “A Beautiful Mind” in Hollywood. In fact, there are more people who have not gained what they deserve in his life time and have no opportunities to win Nobel Prize, because it can only be given to people alive. 例子和切入点都很好，但是感觉论证还不够充分，还差一层才落到点上。比如第一句First, in some areas, the effects of an individual’s work need a long period of time to be recognized.后面如果再加个，（因为很长时间后人们才能认识到个人的作品的价值），所以导致与其同时代的人们不能很好地，很客观地评价这些人。Second, some geniuses are too innovative to be understood by their contemporaries. Prodigies seem to consider things from a particular angle, which is beyond the commonconcepts of the public. 加In most cases,否则太绝对Only people living in a删a？ later time, who can view the prodigies together with their circumstance, can recognize the merits in of?their ideas. For instance, van Gogh, one of the famous artists in the history, had been leading a poor livelife and struggled语法上来说，前面是过去完成进行时，这里是不是也用struggling with depression and loneliness until suicide. Decades later, (people began to realize that those paintings, which seemed dummy and strange, expressed the inner world of the great artist.) people began to realize the great values of those paintings, which seemed dummy and strange and expressed the inner world of the great artist.Third, judgments from contemporaries are easily influenced by the conflicting interests fromof different groups. 很好的观点啊Take a political leader’s decisions for example; it is inevitable that some ones will benefit from the policies and others’ interests might be undermined. In this case, the former might judge the leader positively and the latter might evaluate his work negativelymight 开始写成might devaluate his work greatly 可以显得句式有变化. One example is the Sun-centered theory of Copernicus, which contradicted to the interests of the Roman Catholic Church. Under the pressure of Inquisition, few people dared to support Copernicus’ achievement. Bruno, an advocator of Copernicus, was burned at the stake. Many years after Copernicus’ death, his theory was testified and accepted by the public.Admittedly, judgments from contemporaries should not be neglected either when evaluating a person. Ideas from contemporaries may contain more detailed and direct information. Critically considering these ideas from contemporaries could help later people give a more integrated and objective,这样可以呼应Issueevaluation to a historic individual.To sum up, judgments from people in a later time are more objective than those from contemporaries. To evaluate an individual’s greatness objectively, one should pay more attention to the evaluation from people in a later time.

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

谢谢你，pdyhc！

改的这么细，一定用了很长时间吧

祝笔试发挥的更好！

flyingwindUID: 189320

大家一起加油~~~~~

haiyaUID: 187989

Can an individual’s greatness be judged more objectively by his or her contemporaries or people who belong to a later time? In my opinion, evaluation about an individual is more accurate in the eyes of later people rather than contemporaries.

First, in some areas, the effects of an individual’s work need a long period to be recognized. In scientific field, many theories were suggested put forward是不是会好一点? very early, but limited by experimental conditions or insufficient developments of other subjects, those theories were testified after a long time. For example, John Nash, a mathematician who won Nobel Prize for economics in his 66 years old, suffered from metal problems soon after he presented a mathematic theory in his young age. The theory had not been noticed for a long time until people found that the theory can efficiently solve some problems in economics. Until then, his great contribution had been affirmed. His story has been adapted to the movie “A Beautiful Mind” in Hollywood. In fact, there are more people who have not gained what they deserve in his life time and have no opportunities to win Nobel Prize, because it can only be given to people alive. [觉得应该再加个总结呼应中心句]

Second, some geniuses are too innovative to be understood by contemporaries. Prodigies seem to consider things from a particular angle, which is beyond the concepts of the public. Only people living in a later time, who can view the prodigies together with their circumstance, can recognize the merits in their ideas. For instance, van Gogh, one of the famous artists in the history, had been leading a poor live and struggled with depression and loneliness until suicide. Decades later, people began to realize that those paintings, which seemed dummy and strange, expressed the inner world of the great artist.[缺个总结，再说明一下]

Third, judgments from contemporaries are easily influenced by the conflicting interests from different groups. Take a political leader’s decisions for example; it is inevitable that some ones will benefit from the policies and others’ interests might be undermined. In this case, the former might judge the leader positively and the latter might evaluate his work negatively. One example is the Sun-centered theory of Copernicus, which contradicted to the interests of the Roman Catholic Church. Under the pressure of Inquisition, few people dared to support Copernicus’ achievement. Bruno, an advocator of Copernicus, was burned at the stake. Many years after Copernicus’ death, his theory was accepted by the public.[总觉得例子举完最好再说几句]

Admittedly, judgments from contemporaries should not be neglected either when evaluating a person. Ideas from contemporaries may contain more detailed and direct information. Critically considering these ideas from contemporaries could help later people give a more integrated evaluation to a historic individual.

To sum up, judgments from people in a later time are more objective than those from contemporaries. To evaluate an individual’s greatness objectively, one should pay more attention to the evaluation from people in a later time.[总结应该再深入些，感觉是和开头以及题干的简单重复，应该总结一下自己的几个观点。我觉得这样会好一点]

1．        感觉body1和body2讲的角度是差不多的，可以并在一起，从两个方面谈为什么contemporary people 无法评价一个人的伟大之处
2．        开头和结尾与我第一次写的时候一样，更多的是模仿题干的句子写。看了一些别人的issue，讨经后，我觉得就象我们写中文议论文，开头要精彩，可以抓住批改者的目光，结尾要再升华一下。Kaka，没想到高考都几年了，这些课堂上老师讲的东西还是有点启发的。
3．        我觉得还可以从伟人的价值大与否，关键在于他对后世的影响和他的前瞻性来考虑一下，也可以挖的深一点。试想，很多名人过了一个年代就会被别人淡忘，而真正的伟人才能直到今天还被人景仰着。
4．第一次帮别人改作文。我也刚刚开始写，词汇方面我也提不出什么建议。酱紫