ISSUE243（新的顺序是19）我在GTER上贴的第一篇，大家帮忙！

Gua_niu(蜗牛)UID: 193156

很遗憾，又没能按时完成，总共花了58分钟，自己粗略的修改了一下，花了4分钟。头痛啊，现在就是不能在45分钟内完成，从来没有过！最少也是56分钟完成，不过比刚开始的时候强多了，大家给建议阿。谢谢！
243（19）If a society is to thrive, it must put its own overall success before the well-being of its individual citizens.

Is it necessary to put its overall goal of success before the well-being of the individual citizens, if a society is to thrive? As far as I am concerned, the statement falsely generalizes the relationship between the prosperity of a society and the well-being of the individuals. Though, there are some exceptions sometimes, in most cases, the two aspects do not conflict, but fall in to line with each other.

On one hand, as any society is constituted by individuals, the relationship between the two aspects is like that between a forest and a single tree. The vitality of the forest is under the precondition that most of trees are growing well, and also the healthy growth of any single tree is assured by the condition that the whole forest can collectively resist some harmful natural disasters such as storms, blizzards and pollutions. Accordingly, the realization of its goal is to be gained by the endeavor of each of individuals, who should be diligent, high-educated and of genteel behavior, and also, the well-being of individuals is secured by the success of the whole society, which would provide efficient medical, insurance systems, and politics of integrity and high disinterest. Therefore, neither of the two aspects has any priority over another, and they lie with each other.

On the other hand, the well-being of individuals is, or even the most important, part of the goal of the society. This is especially true for the democratic society. In each presidential election, any plan or goal brought forth by the candidate is unexceptionally emphasized by lobbyists that it has taken into full and prior consideration the rights of the people. And many societies are striving to keep prosperous economy, set up efficient medical, insurance, law and old-aged pension systems, which are closely related to the well-being of the individuals and are what the individuals hope. Therefore, from this degree, the well-being of the individuals even has somewhat priority over other aspects of the goal of the society.

However, we can not eliminate some special extreme situations in which the well-being of individuals contradict with the rights of the society. Under such circumstances, the rights of the whole society should be put before those of some individuals. For example, in the time of financial crisis of south-eastern Asia in 1998, South Korea strapped into a finance-stricken crisis, and most South Koreans donated their private property of gold and silver to help the whole society turn out of the crisis. Similarly, in the time of wars, or some natural catastrophes such as earthquakes, tsunamis or landslides, every one should put the right of the society before the well-being of individuals.

In sum, the relationship between the overall success of the society and the well-being of individuals is far more complicate to generalize than what the statement does. As for the government, the realization of the goal of the society should take the well-being of individuals into prior consideration. However, as for the individuals, when their rights conflict with those of the whole society, they should put the society over themselves.

dotmanUID: 193231

My advice:
Viewing rom the whole particle, you really support the spearker's claim.  You seem to over emphasive the overall sucess can benefit the well-being of individuals as you do in the second, third,and fourth paragraph.. Although you indeed memtion the individuals serve to benefit the whole forest. it is not enough to support your  point  that  the two aspects lie on each and fail to point out how the overall success can benefit from the  endeavors of the individuals.
It 's my advices, Perhaps

dotmanUID: 193231

Issue19  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：dotman     共用时间：45分1秒     429 words
从2005年0月24日17时54分到2005年0月24日18时39分
------题目------
If a society is to thrive, it must put its own overall success before the well-being of its individual citizens.
------正文------
Although the speakers fails to generalize the relationship between the society's thriving and the individual's improvoment of well-being,which not only benefit himself(herselr), but aslo the involving community, and the society. I concede that
In most espects and to large extent the own overall success should take precedent over the well-being of its individual citizens, just because the society's thriving is not the sucess of certain persons but all citizens.

The delicate relationship between the individual's success and the society’s overall success is mutually reciprocal, just like any relationship between the group and its member. Thus, It is indubitably that emphasizing one the personal well-being to some extend benefit the community if not the society. For example, Consider the most successful business man-Billgates. anyone should agree that the endeavor of Microsoft company bring numerous benefits to Seattle and America. even nations all over the planet are beneficiaries in some aspects.

However, we shouldn't come to conclude that in order to make the society thrive, what the successul individuals do is enough. If this is the case, we many find ourselves on the slipper and regressing slant toward the despotism in politics and monopoly in business. In fact, to large extent the responsibility of our democratic governments is to balance the stakes of the whole groups not certain individuals. For example, continue to take the aforementioned example involving Microsoft Corp. Although the benefit that the company bring about is becoming more and more large. the society seem to be aware slowly of that we will lost more such as the ability for competion and the motivation for the improvement of the whole business. This is the reason why Microsoft now are challenged by European nations now.Thus, in order to make the whole society thrive, the overall success must take precedence over the well-being of certain individuals.

Furthermore, we all know that a thick forest can survive the storms and blizzard, but sparse one consists of seedling cannot bear even once. when things come to solve problems such as economic crisis, warfare and so forth,the speaker's claim can find more supports. In fact, these problems can solved only through the endeavor of the whole group,nation, even earth, while overlooking the personal success. The most telling example may involve the Nation kareo. After the Financial Crisis In Asia, the economy in Korea seem to be boggled in an chasm. In order to revitalize the economy, the citizens there donate their bracelets and diamonds, although they also were in trouble.

In sum, success of certain individuals in development the well-being largely benefit the community, however at the same time it seems to separate the society, and make gap among the successor and the failure.that is the reason why the government exists which is responsible for ensuring the things are in the basic interests of the whole group. Finally we confront problems such as economic crisis, only. On balance , I agree with the speaker's claim

45分钟写了429个子。这是修改了错别子。并添加里韩国的例子（呵呵，真是有用，挖到宝了） 现在469个字。
45分钟根本没时间下个好结论。胡乱就给结尾了。