issue150 (prepare for 207—14)

LSDUID: 157855

150."Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

I don't agree with the speaker's assertion that tourism will soon become obsolete due to the development of television and worldwide computer connections. If we make careful observation and consideration, we can find that television and computer connections may provide us the beautiful vision and knowledge while they cannot meet other more important needs of human beings, what's more, such high-tech may even inspire people's desire of tourism and visit.

The speaker's conclusion that tourism will soon become outdated is unwarranted.  According to my observation and information from newspaper, tourism of the whole world is not decline but more prosperity recently than the past, although the world television and computer connections also developed in a rocketing speed. Money comes from the earning of tourism covering a large proportion of city’s economic income.  We can search a lot of information and pictures about Chinese famous Great Wall, but there are still thousands of visitors from allover the world to the great creation of human beings every year. Similarly, in Egypt, its symbol architecture-- pyramids also attract visitors from European to Asia. From the above, we can see that tourism in the world will not fade away even if people can familiar with a great many places with the help of television and worldwide computer connections.

Further more, when we down to the reason that why people are still go for a visit to the places after they already have familiar with them through the help of television and computer, we can recognize that there are something more important than the landscape and information of a famous place. For example, why numerous people go to Hawaii every year? Are they going there only for the beautiful beach scene? In fact, people go there not only for the attractive view, but also for the delicious seafood, warm sun and seawater, and the special shore culture. These, undoubtedly cannot be realized and enjoyed no matter how success work the television and computer connections do. If people wish to own the foregoing things, the only way is go for a visit to the real places. Moreover, even one has been to Hawaii before, we cannot deny the possibility that he/she will go twice or third times to the same place. So, tourism will not become outdate for it can meet people's special needs which cannot be realized by television and computer connections.

Last but not least, television and computer connections will inspire people's willing to visit the places that they are interested. A person who has interested in human history may decide to go to visit China, after he/she read the introduction of the old and mysterious country on the television. An architecture may plan a visit for Paris, when he/she see the pictures of Paris architectures which have unique style.  Hence television and computer connections will not make tourism outdated but rather make it prosperity.

To sum up, television and computer connections which are the creation of 20th century, will not replace the importance of tourism despite they can make people familiar with many places. Tourism itself has special characteristics and advantages, which high-tech cannot bring us and in the future, high-tech as a bridge between visitors and their aim place will help tourism enlarge its influence.

欢迎拍砖和讨论！
:p

flyingwindUID: 189320

No.1 issue150 (prepare for 207—14)
150."Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."


I don't agree with the speaker's assertion that tourism will soon become obsolete due to the development of television and worldwide computer connections. If we make careful observation and consideration, we can find that television and computer connections may provide us the beautiful vision and knowledge while they cannot meet other more important needs of human beings, what's more, such high-tech may even inspire people's desire of tourism and visit.

The speaker's conclusion that tourism will soon become outdated is unwarranted. According to my observation and information from newspaper, tourism of the whole world is not declineadj？？ but more prosperity recently than the past, although the world television and computer connections also developed in a rocketing speed. Money comes from the earning of tourism covering a large proportion of city’s economic income. We can search a lot of information and pictures about Chinese famous Great Wall, but there are still thousands of visitors from allover the world to the great creation of human beings every year. Similarly, in Egypt, its symbol architecture-- pyramids also attract visitors from European to Asia. From the above, we can see that tourism in the world will not fade away even if people can familiar with a great many places with the help of television and worldwide computer connections.这段说现象，旅游很热，但是这能够证明旅游没有过时吗？是很hot，but why？是你要写的。类似这一段的东西可以写，但是不要写这么多，应为你毕竟不是说：存在就是合理的，就是好的。要说理由，论点。比如，你可以说一个支持点：电视以及网络上看到的，和身临其镜的感觉是不一样的，给人的冲击更大，更能激起人的共鸣啊

Further more, when we down 动词？to the reason that why people are still go for a visit to the places after they already have familiar with them through the help of television and computer, we can recognize that there are something more important than the landscape and information of a famous place. For example, why numerous people go to Hawaii every year? Are they going there only for the beautiful beach scene? In fact, people go there not only for the attractive view, but also for the delicious seafood, warm sun and seawater, and the special shore culture. These, undoubtedly cannot be realized and enjoyed no matter how success work the television and computer connections do. If people wish to own the foregoing things, the only way is go for a visit to the real places.这个地方我觉得不好。。如果想吃海鲜，海岸文化，暖日不一定只有Hawaii有，不能说the only way is go for a visit to the real place，不如寄点海鲜回来吃省点啊 。shore culture更是可以有资料可以了解啊，其实主要的区别就是：是不是人在当地的区别以及带来的一些不同的感觉 Moreover, even one has been to Hawaii before, we cannot deny the possibility that he/she will go twice or third times to the same place.好吃？还是社么？呵呵 So, tourism will not become outdate for it can meet people's special needs which cannot be realized by television and computer connections.

Last but not least, television and computer connections will inspire people's willing to visit the places that they are interested. A person who has interested in human history may decide to go to visit China, after he/she read the introduction of the old and mysterious country on the television. An architecture may plan a visit for Paris, when he/she see the pictures of Paris architectures which have unique style. Hence television and computer connections will not make tourism outdated but rather make it prosperity.论点认同，描述简单了点。可以从经济方面谈谈电视的促进效果。人们的时间，精力，money有限啊，电视等等让我们可以从中选择自己更加喜欢的地方和风景类型去玩啊

To sum up, television and computer connections which are the creation of 20th century, will not replace the importance不会代替重要性？ of tourism despite they can make people familiar with many places. Tourism itself has special characteristics and advantages, which high-tech cannot bring us and in the future, high-tech as a bridge between visitors and their aim place will help tourism enlarge its influence.

LSDUID: 157855

谢谢楼上，意见正在认真考虑！
:p

LSDUID: 157855

感谢flyingwind的认真评改
:p


[这段说现象，旅游很热，但是这能够证明旅游没有过时吗？是很hot，but why？是你要写的。类似这一段的东西可以写，但是不要写这么多，应为你毕竟不是说：存在就是合理的，就是好的。要说理由，论点。比如，你可以说一个支持点：电视以及网络上看到的，和身临其镜的感觉是不一样的，给人的冲击更大，更能激起人的共鸣啊]
这段我是用当今的现状说明作者的推论是不合理的阿，受欢迎难道不是没有过时的意思么？我这段实际上是一个引子，如何解释这种现象是b2的内容。比如I中有一道题目是说科技发展了，人们的leisure time就多起来了，有很多人都用的摆事实的证明方式，就是根据自己的经验和报纸的报道实际上人们的空闲时间并没有变得多起来，在网友的评论中这是一个很好的论证方式，我这篇文章的论证实际上也是采用的这种方法阿:p


[这个地方我觉得不好。。如果想吃海鲜，海岸文化，暖日不一定只有Hawaii有，不能说the only way is go for a visit to the real place，不如寄点海鲜回来吃省点啊 。shore culture更是可以有资料可以了解啊，其实主要的区别就是：是不是人在当地的区别以及带来的一些不同的感觉]
当然这些不知有Hawaii有，但是对那些对Hawaii有兴趣的人来说，这些是那里独一无二的，每个地方都有每个地方的特点嘛，这也正支持了人们希望身临其境的论点阿！


[Moreover, even one has been to Hawaii before, we cannot deny the possibility that he/she will go twice or third times to the same place.好吃？还是社么？呵呵]
有意思的地方去几次也不嫌多阿，这也是旅游业长久不衰的原因阿，楼上认为不支持论点么？


[论点认同，描述简单了点。可以从经济方面谈谈电视的促进效果。人们的时间，精力，money有限啊，电视等等让我们可以从中选择自己更加喜欢的地方和风景类型去玩啊]
楼上意见很好啊，不过这些如果放在这段写和我的ts有点不符阿，可以另起一段说明high-tech给人们带来的好处！

bcomerUID: 182621

DING 一下

明天早上再来修改加学习

flyingwindUID: 189320

我觉得题目是说tourism will soon become obsolete，如果作为引子是肯定每问题的。
而且你说的“比如I中有一道题目是说科技发展了，人们的leisure time就多起来了，有很多人都用的摆事实的证明方式，就是根据自己的经验和报纸的报道实际上人们的空闲时间并没有变得多起来，在网友的评论中这是一个很好的论证方式，我这篇文章的论证实际上也是采用的这种方法阿”感觉和这篇不一样。
科技这道题目里面所谓的“根据自己的经验和报纸的报道实际上人们的空闲时间并没有变得多起来”实际是举例子；但是在这道题目里面，只能说明现在，不能说明将来，题目是将来有个“tourism will soon become obsolete”的趋势，而将来，似乎直接摆现在如何如何热的事实不能证明“替代不了”。

现在想来，或许你的第2个body的论点不错呢。旅客还要享受一些其他的东东，which不能提供by电视

可以另起一段说明high-tech给人们旅游（扣题目哈）带来的好处！

还有一点就是电视上的介绍一般不是够详细，全面，也许不是旅客所重点希望看的，或者不够全面。限制于制片人制作的水平啊（比如角度，色彩处理，采光啊render不nature啊啥的），以及拍摄的内容，不能及时更新或者在特殊天气下的特殊感受也是体会不到的。。。

flyingwindUID: 189320

我不是有点nit-picking吧，呵呵，但愿有点用吧

LSDUID: 157855

谢谢楼上的认真讨论！
意见我再仔细想想:p

LSDUID: 157855

[科技这道题目里面所谓的“根据自己的经验和报纸的报道实际上人们的空闲时间并没有变得多起来”实际是举例子；但是在这道题目里面，只能说明现在，不能说明将来，题目是将来有个“tourism will soon become obsolete”的趋势，而将来，似乎直接摆现在如何如何热的事实不能证明“替代不了”]
这点楼上说的有道理，我想，让我的b1更符合题目的写法是说明从这个趋势上看旅游业不会过时。


[还有一点就是电视上的介绍一般不是够详细，全面，也许不是旅客所重点希望看的，或者不够全面。限制于制片人制作的水平啊（比如角度，色彩处理，采光啊render不nature啊啥的），以及拍摄的内容，不能及时更新或者在特殊天气下的特殊感受也是体会不到的。。。]
很好的建议阿，深受启发。:p


[没有觉得你nit-picking]
大家讨论是好事，共同进步！
:p

fengboallanUID: 157405

看了你们对于修改的地方，其实说实话，我想说的：议论文，发表自己的见解，就是仁者见仁，智者见智。没有谁对谁错，只要是能自圆其说就好。但是，我们不是ETS评卷人，他是仁还是智，我们不知道。我们只能按照他们的思想去看议论的合理性。建议：尽量再去分析ETS范文。如果你的论证方式和范文很类似。呵呵，你就上层次了。

LSDUID: 157855

呵呵，大家继续讨论阿，还有没有什么建议呢？
:p

naiba369UID: 131655

呵呵，占座了，从今天开始改作文喽

呵呵，我可想着pooh姐姐的香吻呢

:p

flyingwindUID: 189320

10楼说的很好

poohUID: 146994

看了你们对于修改的地方，其实说实话，我想说的：议论文，发表自己的见解，就是仁者见仁，智者见智。没有谁对谁错，只要是能自圆其说就好。但是，我们不是ETS评卷人，他是仁还是智，我们不知道。我们只能按照他们的思想去看议论的合理性。建议：尽量再去分析ETS范文。如果你的论证方式和范文很类似。呵呵，你就上层次了。

阅卷人看得不是你是仁还是智，看的是你的逻辑，10楼说得对，最重要的是把握好论证方式，避免跳跃性的思维，要层层展开逐步深入分析问题。

fengboallanUID: 157405

我才知道poof是姐姐，现在好奇看看姐姐什么样子了。加我的QQ吧：4048285
我咋那么好奇看看作文牛人的样子呢？嘿嘿