Issue69 Goverment and scientific research还有20多天，请大家帮忙看看

grewayUID: 192724

69.Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development
------正文------
It seems reasonable that government and science are separately different. However, I disagree with the speaker's view that government should not play a role in restricting on scientific research and development. And on the contrary, restrictions placed by government are not only necessary and beneficial to scientific development, but also can promise human being's safety, social stability and long-term development.

As a national machine, government has responsibilities to ensure scientific research and development can keep in right direction. For instance, Clone, a new discovery in the world, has become more popular among scientists, and many of them tend to pursue further development in this area. Meanwhile, standing on possible profits, some individuals and institutes are also interested in sponsoring this research. Admittedly, clone of animals such as sheep, mouse, cattle, may contribute to the society, however, when clone of human race comes true, I cannot imagine its effect. Without limitations placed by government, clone would be dangerous, not only to this kind of research, but also to human’s development. Desire of human’s production without other considerations may destroy some of our biologic features and lead to 道德堕落.

Besides, biotech foods, which have played important role in our daily lives, should be carefully regulated, since some potential elements do exist that may danger people’s life. Meanwhile, this is so profitable an industry that members in this game would like to pursue their own benefits without considering other people’s safety. If government does not place effectible restrictions to promise the research and development, the future of this new industry may become misleading that it cannot benefit human race and people would not trust it, sometimes, it may influence on social stability since people feel they are in danger.

When we go back to the end of the Second World War in 1945, I still remember America's two atom bombs finally determined the fascist's failure, which is cheered by the whole world. But at the same time, nor can we ignore the effect of the radical weapon to Japanese in the later 40 years or more. Numerous people died from the disaster. And even those who survived still suffered from losing their relatives and becoming alone, and besides, some of them have to suffer from disease and pain in their latter lives. I don't tend to deny its beneficial influence, since it contributed to end the war, and after all it is the first time we try radical weapon aiming at finding its effect. However, since it is inevitably dangerous to human's life, government should place strict restrictions on the research of radical weapon. Moreover, different nations should corporate to limit the research and development of this terrible weapon. And actually in the current time, placing restrictions is not only the responsibilities of the certain government to deal with their own affairs, but require more governments to be more integrated, since social long-term development is related to the whole world.

Some people may challenge me that too many regulations would impede scientific development. Firstly, balance between restrictions and researches should be taken into consideration separately since each problem has its own feature and require the certain approach to resolve, and that is not the problem I discussed here, which also cannot be exactly interpreted and found out the solution in this essay. Secondly, even restrictions appear too much in some people’s eyes, I would like restrictions promising people’s safety and social stability, rather than existence of any danger, since there is nothing more important than individual life and social long-term development.

In conclusion, I think it is obviously necessary for government to place restrictions to regulate scientific research, which ensures it develop in a right direction, and drive we human beings ahead to a better future.

grewayUID: 192724

好心人帮我改改吧，我也会试着帮大家改的~~

G猫UID: 192988

69.Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development
------正文------
It seems reasonable that government and science are separately separately different,可以这样修饰different呀? 觉得这个不是论点基于的假设, 不应该拿这一点来however,作出这个结论应该是政府的干预阻碍科学的正常发展,应该从针对这一点去攻击,different. However, I disagree with the speaker's view that government should not play a role in restricting on scientific research and development. And on the contrary, restrictions placed by government are not only necessary and beneficial to scientific development, but also can promise human being's safety, social stability and long-term development.

As a national machine, government has responsibilities to ensure scientific research and development can keep keeping in right direction. For instance, Clone, a new discovery discovery感觉怪怪的,还是用technology吧,保险in the world, has become more more and morepopular among scientists, and many of them tend to pursue further development in this area. Meanwhile, standing on possible profits, some individuals and institutes are also interested in sponsoring this research. Admittedly, clonecloning of animals such as sheep, mouse, cattleand cattle, may contribute to the society, however, when clone cloningof human race comes true, I cannot imagine its effectconsequences好点吧. Without limitations placed by government, clonecloning would be dangerous, not only to this kind of research, but also to human’s development. Desire of human’s production without other considerations may destroy some of our biologic features and lead to 道德堕落morality corruption?. 觉得前面的篇幅太多都没有指向核心的问题, 只是说dangerous没有说服力,为什么dangerous要指出来,这样才让人信服

Besides, biotech foods, which have played important role in our daily lives, should be carefully regulated, since some potential elements感觉用elements有点不好 do exist that may dangerperil, danger可以当动词嘛, endanger吧 people’s life. 说具体点吧,致癌,导致变异什么的Meanwhile, this is so profitable an industry that members in this game would like to pursue their own benefits without considering other people’s safety感觉上下两句的关系用meanwhile连接不太好. If government does not place effectible restrictions to promise 为什么用promise呀,不要也可以呀the research and development, the future of this new industry may become misleading that it cannot benefit human race and people would not trust it, sometimes, it may influence on social stability since people feel they are in danger.后面这个还不如不要,都已经下结论了突然又冒出这个来

When we go back to the end of the Second World War in 1945, I still remember America's two atom bombs finally determined the fascist's failure, which is cheered by the whole world. But at the same time, nornot ?never? can we ignore the effect of the radical weapon to Japanese in the later 40 years or more. Numerous people died from the disaster. And even those who survived still suffered from losing their relatives and becoming alone suffer from becoming alone?不对吧, and besides, some of them have to suffer from disease and pain in their latter lives. I don't tend to deny its beneficial influence, since it contributed to end the war因为那两颗原子弹,所以胜利了?是这样么?, andand? after all it is the first time we try radical weapon aiming at finding its effect. However, since it is inevitably dangerous to human's life, government should place strict restrictions on the research of radical weapon. 这个有点搞笑,都是政府在支持研究核武器的, 在这里不是restriction的问题Moreover, different nations should corporate不能这样用吧, cooperate吧 to limit the research and development of this terrible weapon. And actually in the current time, placing restrictions is not only the responsibilities of the certain government to deal with their own affairs, but requirethe requirement that, 因为前面并列的是名词 more governments to 如果改成前面的,删掉to,省略should的从句be more integrated, since social long-term development is related to the whole world. 这段还算有点说服力,后面好罗嗦,不是重点内容,一句话就可以搞定了

Some people may challenge me that too many regulations would impede scientific development. 在分开说之前最好有个统领的句子吧,然后再first,second,这样好突兀呀,吓我一跳 Firstly, balance between restrictions and researches restriction和research感觉不能拿来balance的,这里应该是free的近意词,我也想不起 should be taken into consideration separately 这里并没有两个东西,怎么separately,主语是balancesince each problem has its own feature and require the certainspecific? approach to resolve, and that is not the problem I discussed here, which also cannot be exactly interpreted and found out the solution in this essay.狡辩?说不过不能这样吧 Secondly, even restrictions appear too much in some people’s eyes, I would like restrictions promising people’s safety and social stability, rather than existence of any danger, since there is nothing more important than individual life and social long-term development.没有作出实质性的反驳,好像试图把矛盾转开,这是不行的

In conclusion, I think it is obviously necessary for government to place restrictions to regulate scientific research, which ensures it developdeveloping in a right direction, and drive we human beings ahead to a better future 后面这个and你应该是接从句的,但是我觉得这样好像不太合适

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冥界星灿UID: 184746

69.Government should place few, if any, restrictions on scientific research and development
------正文------
It seems reasonable that government and science are separately different.感觉防一句这么简单的句子在段首不太好 However, I disagree with the speaker's view that government should not play a role in restricting on scientific research and development. And on the contraryand 放在这感觉很奇怪呢, restrictions placed by government are not only necessary and beneficial to scientific development, but also can promise human being's safety, social stability and long-term development个人认为你既然这么写，下面应从scientific development; human beings safety; social stability and long-term development 三方面举例，更严谨.

As a national machine国家机器是这么翻吗？你确信就好, government has responsibilities to ensure scientific research and development can有ensure了，can好像就多余了呢 keep in right direction. For instance, Clone, a new discovery个人认为clone是technology, 不是discovery. clone不是自然界中天然存在，没法discovery in the worldin the world有点罗嗦，而且感觉world一般指人文概念上的社会（区别于nature）, has become more popular among scientists some biology scientists, and many of them tend to pursue further development in this area还是field?. Meanwhile, standing on possible profits, some individuals and institutes are also interested in sponsoring this research. Admittedly, clone of animals such as sheep, mouse, cattle, may contribute to the society, however, when clone of human race comes true, I cannot imagine its effect. Without limitations placed by government, clone would be dangerous, not only to this kind of research, but also to human’s development. Desire of human’s production without other considerations may destroy some of our biologic features and lead to 道德堕落.

Besides, biotech foods, which have played important role in our daily lives, should be carefully regulated, since some potential elements do exist that may danger people’s life. Meanwhile, this is so profitable an industry that members in this game would like to pursue their own benefits without considering other people’s safety. If government does not place effectible restrictions to promise the research and development, the future of this new industry may become misleadingfuture bacome misleading? 主语和宾语好像不搭配 that it cannot benefit human race and people would not trust it, sometimes, it may influence on social stability since people feel they are in danger.

When we go back to the end of the Second World War in 1945, I still remember America's two atom bombs finally determined the fascist's failure, which is cheered by the whole world. But at the same time, nor can we ignore the effect of the radical weapon to Japanese in the later 40 years or more. Numerous people died from the disaster. And even those who survived still suffered from losing their relatives and becoming alone, and besides这么用有点怪, some of them have to suffer from disease and pain in their latter lives这句话句子结构有点散，可不可以用either-or结构换一下。May be "And even those survived was suffering from either lonelyness of losing their relatives or disease caused by radiation during their latter lives.". I don't tend to deny its beneficial influence, since it contributed to end the war, and after all it is the first time we try radical weapon aiming at finding its effect. However, since it is inevitably dangerous to human's life, government should place strict restrictions on the research of radical weapon. Moreover, different nations should corporate to limit the research and development of this terrible weapon. And actually in the current time, placing restrictions is not only the responsibilities of the certain government to deal with their own affairs, butbut引导的和not only引导的不配 require more governments to be more integrated完整的？整合的？这个词用得怪, since social long-term development is related to the whole world谓语动词好像不该是这个，一时想不起来哪个好.这一段例子好像和long-term development拧不到一起去，你怎么想？

Some people may challenge这个词用这合适吗？ me that too many regulations would impede scientific development. Firstly, balance between restrictions and researchesand前后好像难以并列，什么好那？restriction and freedom development? should be taken into consideration separately since each problem has its own feature and require the certain approach to resolve, and that is not the problem I discussed here, which also cannot be exactly interpreted and found out the solution in this essay.还是句子结构有点散，一路and下来，像我这样的都看晕了，后半句改成but this problem cannot be exacyly interpreted and solved in this essay for the only reason that it is not the one I discuss here你看可以吗？ Secondly, even restrictions appear too much in some people’s eyes, I would like restrictions promising people’s safety and social stability, rather than existence of any danger, since there is nothing more important than individual life and social long-term development.这段话的目的是addmittedly我可以理解，但论述好像达不到这个目的。1，别人说太多限制会影响科学发展，你说我的文章没跟你讨论这个；2，别人说太多限制会影响科学发展，你说影响了也比影响人类发展重要。这两点好像不足反驳呢。还是我没理解？

In conclusion, I think it is obviously necessary for government to place restrictions to regulate scientific research, which ensures it develop in a right direction, and drive we human beings ahead to a better future.

文章结构上，感觉论述少了点，开头＋三个方面例子＋结尾。加一个段首句论述一下呢？还是你特意这样写的？我说错的不少吧，多指教哦^_^

冥界星灿UID: 184746

May be "And even those survived were suffering from either lonelyness of losing their relatives or disease caused by radiation during their later lives.".
刚才主谓不一致，丢人丢大了
latter应该是later吧？

grewayUID: 192724

挖噻，看到被大家批驳的体无完肤~~
待偶一一看来

grewayUID: 192724

首先，感谢楼上两位给出的真知灼见~~受益匪浅阿

两位都提到开头的问题，确实是，当初是觉得第一段应该厚重一些（其实就是多点），才愣加上的，我看干脆应该删掉

举原子弹的例子是认为美国两颗原子弹最终决定了法西斯的彻底失败，现实中政府支持核武器研究这点偶倒是给忘了，不过再思考一下，毕竟现在各国政府还都是明面上限制核武器的研究，不管他们出于何种考虑，我认为这个例子还是能够说明核武器给人类带来巨大灾难，政府应该限制这一观点的

discovery的问题，呵呵，其实当时我写完就觉得不对劲，删了可一时又想不出别的什么来，只好将计就计，确实应该用technology

另外这样子写是因为想多练练举例，让自己思路开阔一些
本来偶是这个样子想的，用三个例子来表达三个方面
1克隆：从科学研究的目的上说明政府应作出限制保证科学研究是为了造福人类的，而非出于个人目的
2转基因食品：在过程上政府应该起到监督的作用
3核武器：科学研究在实际操作中应该对人类有益，有害的应该被政府禁止
不过写着写着发现三个例子看起来都差不多了，可能相似点太多了吧
大家还能想出什么更有说服力的例子吗？

倒数第二段确实也不太好，没有直接反驳反对意见来支持自己的观点。
呵呵~~~写着写着~~~好像检讨书阿~~~
十分感谢楼上二位的意见和建议~~偶下去好好再改一改

grewayUID: 192724

最初由 greway 发布
[B]首先，感谢楼上两位给出的真知灼见~~受益匪浅阿

两位都提到开头的问题，确实是，当初是觉得第一段应该厚重一些（其实就是多点），才愣加上的，我看干脆应该删掉

举原..

以下省略...... [/B]

对了，道德堕落用英语到底应该怎么说阿？
Moral corruption?
还有，国家机器更确切好像是
national machinery?也不知道对不对
大虾告知一下吧