issue93 ,个人责任与社会.感觉是半个月以来自己最差的一篇,所以拿上来请大家帮忙

clausiusUID: 147331

题目："The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making."

提纲：

1. against
2.＂个人责任＂虚构，是实在．
3.决定个人行为的是他们自己，因此个人应该对自己的行为负责．
4.环境只能影响行为，而不能决定行为．
5.repeat

Recently there is a debate over whether people should be responsible for their own actions. Some people, including the author, think that the concept of ' individual responsibility ' is only a necessary fiction and although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making. Some others maintain that someone should be responsible for what he did. In my opinion, I agree with the latter. My view can be greatly substantiated by the following discussion.

Firstly, ' individual responsibility ' is not a fiction, but an actuality, which means that someone has the ability to judge what is right or wrong and the courage to bear the aftermath resulted from his action. Since we are all living in the society, which abounds in various people everywhere, what we did would inevitably influence others more or less. Thus, before action one must think about deeply that whether it is suitable for him to do so. After completing the action, one should try his best to accept the result, and if the result is detrimental to others he should face and solve it, rather than escape it. Those are responsibility!

Secondly, individuals should be accountable for what they did since it is only themselves that decide their action, rather than society, parents, friends or other factors. Circumstance is not a pretext for people to escape from the responsibility. I have ever watched in TV that a teenager, also a thief, said the reason for his stealing is that his parents had not disciplined him frequently due to too much work when he was a child. He claimed that it was not his responsibility for his stealing, but his parents'. I felt funny for what he said. There are thousands of children in the world who are not cared by their parents, for a variety of reasons, however, only a minority of these children becomes thieves, robbers, or murders, and most of them are normal people when they are adults. Why the difference is so large? The answer is apparent: those children who are criminals in the future choose a wrong way, whereas others choose a right one. It is those children’s own choice that determines their future, rather than their parents.

Thirdly, circumstance can only influence people's action, rather than determine one. While performing something the details of a person’s action may be influenced by the environment, but its direction will not be easily changed by it. Even though their direction changed owing to the change of circumstance, the reason is themselves. It is their personality, tendency to change with circumstance, that determines their action. Therefore, it is unreasonable to say that circumstance or society determines one’s action..

Based on the discussion I have mentioned above I assert without any hesitation that people should be accountable for their own action. Although circumstance influences people's action someway, it is not the essential factor to determine people's action. The essential factor is people themselves.

讨厌下雨UID: 163095

对于secondly, individuals should be accountable for what they did ......这段

1. TS不应该用should。。。文章是is型的。

2. 小偷例子的前半部分把小偷的话写得太详细了，这其实是反面观点，因此不宜多说否则读者会有点晕。这个例子只要I felt funny那句之后的内容就足以证明观点。


尾段又出现了should。。。不要should。。。

clausiusUID: 147331

谢了

zqimagineUID: 193623

我觉得开头写得不错

Those are responsibility! 这句话有点问题哦好像

There are thousands of children in the world who are not cared by their parents, 改成are not being taken good care of 好不好？
however, only a minority of these children becomes（应是become） thieves, robbers, or murders, and most of them are normal people when they are adults（读起来有点别扭，改成most of them grow up to be legal citizens）.

The answer is apparent: those children who are criminals in the future choose a wrong way（The future criminals have chosen a wrong way） , whereas others choose a right one. It is those children’s own choice that determines their future, rather than their parents. （parents'）

Thirdly, circumstance can only influence people's action, rather than determine one（detetmine what kind of persons they will become）. While performing something the details of a person’s action （这句话没读懂）may be influenced by the environment, but its direction will not be easily changed by it.

zqimagineUID: 193623

最初由 讨厌下雨 发布
[B]对于secondly, individuals should be accountable for what they did ......这段

1. TS不应该用should。。。

请教一下，should 什么时候不该用？
我写的文章里好像有很多should,555........