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[a习作temp] argument 40 我的第一篇argu,写了50分钟,望大家多提意见 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-2-2 15:01:26 |显示全部楼层
-题目-
The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Excello Food Markets.

"In 90 towns where Excello has food markets, natural-food stores specializing in organic food products—products containing no chemical preservatives and made with foods grown without pesticides—have opened nearby as competitors. Surveys of our own customers reveal a growing concern about foods grown using pesticides or preserved with chemicals. Recently our market in Sun City participated in a local food tasting fair, and 75 percent of the fair goers who visited the Excello booth requested free samples of organic fruit. Such evidence indicates that to increase our profits, we should begin to stock a full line of organic food products in all our markets."

-正文-
The argurer concludes that Excello Food Markets should begin to stock a full line of organic food products in all their markets in order to iincrease their profits. To support this idea the arguer points out that surveys of their own customers reveal a growing concern abouth foos grown using pesticides or preserved with chemicals. The arguer than points out that more customers prefer organic foods because 75 percent of the fair goers requested free samples  of organic fruit. As the following discussion shows, the arguer's argument is not well supported by the evidence.

One assumption here is that surverys of Excello Food Markets' own customers shows a growing concern abouth foods grown using pesticides or preserved with chemicals. Howerver, we are not given enought information about the surverys to be sure that this  conclusion is reliable. For example, the argument does not tell us about the respondants of the surverys and whether or not the respondant of the surveys can represent all their customers; maybe the respondants are all old people who take more concerns about their health in order to live longer, so definitely they will have a growing concern about non-organic foods.

In addition, this argument assumes that most customers prefer organic foods because 75 percent of the fair goers who visited the Excello booth requested free sample of organic. It is unreasonable to draw such a conclusion. People are more interested in those new-born things, so the fact that most fair goers request for organic fruit may be just because they have never tried them before; and moreover, the arguer does not show any information about the responses about the organic fruit of those who request free samples, it is quite possible that all fair goers didn't like organic fruit after they tried them, so Excello shouldn't stock foods which people do not like.

Even if people in Sun City prefer organic food, we cannot make sure that most people in the other 89 towns have the same intendency as those in Sun City. Customers in different places differ from each other greatly and they will have quite diverse favourtes because of the geography, environment and lifestyle. It is likely to be that people in Sun Ciy are very rich and take more concern about the quality of their lives, so they have the ability to afford the organic foods while people in other towns are very poor and then have no idea about the quality at all.

All in all, the information in this argument cannot buttress the arguer's conclusion. To strenthen it,the aruger must provide us clear evidence about the process of the survey, the real responses of all fair goers and take all Excello's customers into account.

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发表于 2005-2-2 17:01:43 |显示全部楼层
补充一点:profit要考虑成本和销售等因素,可能放上有机食品好卖但成本提高了。
写得蛮不错啊,要向你学习:)
收心背词,修炼之:)

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发表于 2005-2-2 17:21:36 |显示全部楼层
我自己觉得一般,很没信心的说。。。
anyway 谢谢补充和鼓励,毕竟只是第一篇,新手很需要鼓励的:)
大家共勉咯

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发表于 2005-2-2 17:33:36 |显示全部楼层
对了,提醒一下下,发贴时argument和数字之间不用空格的说:)
收心背词,修炼之:)

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发表于 2005-4-9 01:29:29 |显示全部楼层
很早以前写的一篇,再拿出来大家拍拍吧;)

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RE: argument 40 我的第一篇argu,写了50分钟,望大家多提意见 [修改]

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argument 40 我的第一篇argu,写了50分钟,望大家多提意见
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-245917-1-1.html
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