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[i习作temp] Issue36 二月机经 大家帮忙看一下,必回改 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-2-3 11:47:53 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
36. The greatness of individuals can only be decided by those who live after them, not by there contemporaries.


The Text:
Can the greatness of individuals be determined by people living in aftertime merely, but not their contemporaries? The author claims so, nevertheless in my point of view this statement goes too extreme. I concede that there are a number of people whose excellence and talents were not appreciated until after their death, even after several centuries. But as a matter of fact, most great works and achievements, raging from art to science, from politics to business, are recognized by their contemporary people.

Admittedly, throughout the history were there many genius being neglected and unfairly treated, owing to their astonishing accomplishment and outlandish behavior. The most striking example among all is perhaps Vincent Van Gogh, the well-known Holland painter, one of whose painting is worthy of hundreds of dollars today, yet lived a impoverished and misery life, having only one of his works sold. Many great individuals are antipathetic to the society they live in and their works are too high to be popular or violating routine rules, thus leading to others' disagreement and prejudice. In such cases, the contemporaries' judgment of one's greatness is probably incorrect or biased, while people who live after him may have different ideologies and standards as time pass by, which make them capable of judging the greatness of their precursors objectively.

Aside from the foregoing analysis, however, I do not absolutely agree with the speakers' claim. In times when emperors, church, and aristocracies are the ones who decide the social value system, freedom was strangled, creativity was suppressed, and therefore greatness of common people were buried in the history. Nevertheless, in a democratic society, where culture divergence is allowed and eccentric ideas are accepted, greatness of individuals is properly decided with no prejudice. History is replete with examples of greatness immediately recognized and confirmed. This is obvious in many areas, especially in art. Many masterpieces of literature, painting, architecture and so on are recognized the moment it produced, or later. Michelangelo's statuaries, Mozart's serenades, Tagore's poems and  海明威's novels were all welcomed immediately after their creation and were praised highly during their lifetime. Also what seems provocative and outrageous at fist may become accepted a century, a decade or even a year from it appeared. A case in point is the poetry anthology of" Leaves of Grass ", written by Walt Whitman in 1855, which was sneered at by most contemporary famous poets when it first published, while later soon become popular and regarded as the peak of romantic literature of United States. Their values, decided by contemporaries as well as people who live after them, will last forever.

In conclusion, the author's claim is true in some cases, especially when it comes to the greatness of geniuses or eccentrics. Otherwise it goes too extreme, for the fact that the greatness of a huge number of great achievers are appropriately decided and widely accepted by contemporaries, far from merely by people who live after them.

自己觉得不太满意,也不知道有没有跑题,恳请大家指教!
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发表于 2005-2-3 12:07:09 |只看该作者
Can the greatness of individuals be determined by people living in aftertime merely, but not their contemporaries? 这一句有点别扭吧The author claims so, nevertheless in my point of view this statement goes too extreme. I concede that there are a number of people whose excellence and talents were not appreciated until after their death, even after several centuries. But as a matter of fact, most great works and achievements, ragingranging from art to science, from politics to business, are recognized by their contemporary people.

Admittedly, throughout the history were therethere were many genius being neglected and unfairly treated, owing to their astonishing accomplishment and outlandish behavior. The most striking example among all is perhaps Vincent Van Gogh, the well-known Holland painter, one of whose painting is worthy of hundreds of dollars不止吧 today, yet lived a impoverished and miserymiserable life, having only one of his works sold. Many great individuals are antipathetic to the society they live in and their works are too high to be popular or violating routine rules, thus leading to others' disagreement and prejudice. In such cases, the contemporaries' judgment of one's greatness is probably incorrect or biased, while people who live after him may have different ideologies and standards as time pass by, which make them capable of judging the greatness of their precursors objectively.

Aside from the foregoing analysis, however, I do not absolutely agree with the speakers' claim. In times when emperors, church, and aristocracies are the ones who decide the social value system, freedom was strangled, creativity was suppressed, and therefore greatness of common people were buried in the history. Nevertheless, in a democratic society, where culture divergence is allowed and eccentric ideas are accepted, greatness of individuals is properly decided with no prejudice. History is replete with examples of greatness immediately recognized and confirmed. This is obvious in many areas, especially in art. Many masterpieces of literature, painting, architecture and so on are recognized the moment it produced, or later. Michelangelo's statuaries, Mozart's serenades, Tagore's poems and 海明威's novels were all welcomed immediately after their creation and were praised highly during their lifetime. Also what seems provocative and outrageous at fist may become accepted a century, a decade or even a year from it appeared. A case in point is the poetry anthology of" Leaves of Grass ", written by Walt Whitman in 1855, which was sneered at by most contemporary famous poets when it first published, while later soon become popular and regarded as the peak of romantic literature of United States. Their values, decided by contemporaries as well as people who live after them, will last forever.
这一段不错
In conclusion, the author's claim is true in some cases, especially when it comes to the greatness of geniuses or eccentrics. Otherwise it goes too extreme, for the fact that the greatness of a huge number of great achievers are appropriately decided and widely accepted by contemporaries, far from merely by people who live after them.

总的来说挺好的,词汇量比我大,语言也比较优美
不过总是文学上的例子,似乎单薄了一些,你大概是学文的吧,呵呵

共同进步啊

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板凳
发表于 2005-2-4 12:09:10 |只看该作者
Can the greatness of individuals be determined by people living in aftertime merely, but not their contemporaries? 这一句有点别扭吧
改成:Can the greatness of individuals be determined merely by people living after them?就是字数少了。:(
Admittedly, throughout the history were there many genius being neglected and unfairly treated 这句本来特地想弄成倒装的呵呵
改成:Admittedly, throughout the history had there been many genius neglected and unfairly treated

hundreds of dollars 我记得是指很多钱吧

我本来是想再写一段科技一段政治的,实在懒得写了时间也不够。
多谢foreverloves的帮助, by the way, 偶学的是纯理科的,sigh.

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地板
发表于 2005-2-4 14:25:27 |只看该作者
36. The greatness of individuals can only be decided by those who live after them, not by there contemporaries.


The Text:
Can the greatness of individuals can 需要一个only)[/be determined by people living in aftertime merely, but not their contemporaries? The author claims so, nevertheless in my point of view this statement goes too extreme. I concede that there are a number of people whose excellence and talents were not appreciated until after their death, even after several centuries. But as a matter of fact, most great works and achievements, raging from art to science, from politics to business, are recognized by their contemporary people.(此处说了从艺术到科学,从政治到商业,本以为下文会从这几个方面加以论述,感觉正文的论证还是单薄了一些)

Admittedly, throughout the history were there many genius being neglected and unfairly treated, owing to their astonishing accomplishment and outlandish behavior. The most striking example among all is perhaps Vincent Van Gogh, the well-known Holland painter, one of whose painting is worthy of hundreds of dollars today, yet lived a impoverished and misery life, having only one of his works sold.(没有卖掉就证明它的画不伟大,他没有才华吗? 可能其他原因导致没人买他的画,比如价格过高,经济萧条,当时人们对画这种艺术形式不感冒?FT,我是不是argument看多了?还是这个例子不够compelling?)Many great individuals are antipathetic to the society they live in and their works are too high to be popular or violating routine rules, thus leading to others' disagreement and prejudice. In such cases, the contemporaries' judgment of one's greatness is probably incorrect or biased, while people who live after him may have different ideologies and standards as time pass by, which make[U](s)[/U]  them capable of judging the greatness of their precursors objectively.

Aside from the foregoing analysis, however, I do not absolutely agree with the speakers' claim. [U]In times when emperors, church, and aristocracies are the ones who decide the social value system, freedom was strangled, creativity was suppressed, and therefore greatness of common people were buried in the history. Nevertheless, in a democratic society, where culture divergence is allowed and eccentric ideas are accepted, greatness of individuals is properly decided with no prejudice. [/U] 这一段过渡不错,但是如果上段的例子是一个由于帝王,宗教,贵族等的专制而伟大和思想得不到当代人认可的,比如Bruno,Copernicus,应该会更恰当,同时把这一段过渡再深入一下,此段首的自己观点的论述删掉,从而形成一个比较平稳、自然地过渡,可能效果会好一些)
History is replete with examples of greatness immediately recognized and confirmed. This is obvious in many areas, especially in art. Many masterpieces of literature, painting, architecture and so on are recognized the moment it produced, or later. Michelangelo's statuaries, Mozart's serenades, Tagore's poems and 海明威's novels were all welcomed immediately after their creation and were praised highly during their lifetime. Also what seems provocative and outrageous at fist may become accepted a century, a decade or even a year from it appeared. A case in point is the poetry anthology of" Leaves of Grass ", written by Walt Whitman in 1855, which was sneered at by most contemporary famous poets when it first published, while later soon become popular and regarded as the peak of romantic literature of United States.(其实可以更深入一些,不光是因为民主社会,同时现代社会信息的及时性和传媒的先进性也可以让更大范围内的同时代的人在最短时间里了解一个人的思想和创造 Their values, decided by contemporaries as well as people who live after them, will last forever.

这里是不是应该更全面一些,同时代人认可的可能在后世看来是谬误的,可以考虑一下是否有这个必要性

In conclusion, the author's claim is true in some cases, especially when it comes to the greatness of geniuses or eccentrics. Otherwise it goes too extreme, for the fact that the greatness of a huge number of great achievers are appropriately decided and widely accepted by contemporaries, far from merely by people who live after them.

PS:偶才写第一篇issue,摸不着深浅,到现在也没有人帮我改,你抽空帮我改一下,谢了。
我帮你改作文,你能帮我回改吗?我3月21号考
PP3模考:
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256059

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发表于 2005-2-4 16:45:55 |只看该作者
你说的很有道理啊 我得好好再考虑一下唉要来不及了
今天去做客,明天再帮你改哦:)

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发表于 2005-2-4 17:47:55 |只看该作者
Admittedly, throughout the history were there many genius being neglected and unfairly treated, owing to their astonishing accomplishment and outlandish behavior说话要说完可以加上 not acknowledged by society. The most striking example among all is perhaps Vincent Van Gogh, the well-known Holland painter, one of whose painting is worthy of hundreds of dollars today, yet lived a impoverished and misery life, having only one of his works sold.(没有卖掉就证明它的画不伟大,他没有才华吗? 可能其他原因导致没人买他的画,比如价格过高,经济萧条,当时人们对画这种艺术形式不感冒?FT,我是不是argument看多了?还是这个例子不够compelling?)没卖掉可以改为不被认可Many great individuals are antipathetic to the society they live in and their works are too high to be popular or violating routine rules, thus leading to others' disagreement and prejudice. In such cases, the contemporaries' judgment of one's greatness is probably incorrect or biased, while people who live after him may have different ideologies and standards as time pass by, which make(s) them capable of judging the greatness of their precursors objectively.

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发表于 2005-2-9 20:40:45 |只看该作者
Can the greatness of individuals be determined by people living in aftertime merely, but not their contemporaries? The author claims so, nevertheless in my point of view this statement goes too extreme. I concede that there are a number of people whose excellence and talents were not appreciated until after (去掉after)their death, even after several centuries(even centuries afterwards). But as a matter of fact, most great works and achievements, raging from art to science, from politics to business, are recognized by their contemporary people.

Admittedly, throughout the(cut off"the"一下类似) history were there many genius being neglected and unfairly treated, owing to their astonishing accomplishment and outlandish behavior. The most striking example among all is perhaps Vincent Van Gogh, the well-known Holland painter, one of whose painting is worthy of hundreds of dollars today, yet lived a impoverished and misery life, having only one of his works sold. Many great individuals are antipathetic to the society they live in and their works are too high to be popular or violating routine rules, (您看这样可可行吗individuals are often so antipathetic to society, challenging,violating even to the extend damaging the routine rule that they could not be easily acceptable.)vithus leading to others' disagreement and prejudice. In such cases, the contemporaries' judgment of one's greatness is probably incorrect or biased, while people who live after him may have different ideologies and standards as time pass by, which make them capable of judging the greatness of their precursors objectively.

Aside from the foregoing analysis, however, I do not absolutely agree with the speakers' claim. In times when emperors, church, and aristocracies are the ones who decide the social value system, freedom was strangled, creativity was suppressed, (去掉两个was,会感觉更好些)and(cut off "and") therefore greatness of common people were buried in the history. Nevertheless, in a democratic society, where culture divergence is allowed and eccentric ideas are accepted, greatness of individuals is properly decided with no prejudice. History is replete with examples of greatness immediately recognized and confirmed. This is obvious in many areas, especially in art. Many masterpieces of literature, painting, architecture and so on are recognized the moment it produced, or later. Michelangelo's statuaries, Mozart's serenades, Tagore's poems and 海明威's novels were all welcomed immediately after their creation and were praised highly during their lifetime. Also what seems provocative and outrageous at fist may become accepted a century, a decade or even a year from it appeared. A case in point is the poetry anthology of" Leaves of Grass ", written by Walt Whitman in 1855, which was sneered at by most contemporary famous poets when it first published, while later soon become popular and regarded as the peak of romantic literature of United States. Their values, decided by contemporaries as well as people who live after them, will last forever.
是否把让步段放到这来写,可以考虑lastingvalue 的可能性)
In conclusion, the author's claim is true in some cases, especially when it comes to the greatness of geniuses or eccentrics. Otherwise it goes too extreme, for the fact that the greatness of a huge number of great achievers are appropriately decided and widely accepted by contemporaries, far from merely by people who live after them.
我已经看了下大人的文,大人能否抽空帮我看下,谢谢

https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=246836
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=253108
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=253991

Time pass by
Snow in the sun
   whatever we kown
     what we can see
  before the God
          at the Day

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发表于 2005-2-10 17:16:36 |只看该作者
Can the greatness of individuals be determined by people living in aftertime merely, but not their contemporaries? The author claims so, nevertheless in my point of view this statement goes too extreme. I concede that there are a number of people whose excellence and talents were not appreciated until after their death(感觉有点中文化), even after several centuries. But as a matter of fact, most great works and achievements, raging from art to science, from politics to business, are recognized by their contemporary people.

Admittedly, throughout the history were there many genius being neglected and unfairly treated, owing to their astonishing accomplishment and outlandish behavior. The most striking example among all is perhaps Vincent Van Gogh, the well-known Holland painter, one of whose painting is worthy of hundreds of dollars today, yet lived a impoverished and misery life, having only one of his works sold. Many great individuals are antipathetic to the society they live in and their works are too high to be popular or violating routine rules, thus leading to others' disagreement and prejudice. In such cases, the contemporaries' judgment of one's greatness is probably incorrect or biased, while people who live after him may have different ideologies and standards as time pass by, which make them capable of judging the greatness of their precursors objectively.
(我觉得既然是反对题目中的观点,就应该强调自己反对的立场,如果第一段用这么多笔墨来让步会弱化自己的论点)
Aside from the foregoing analysis, however, I do not absolutely agree with the speakers' claim. (In times when emperors, church, and aristocracies are the ones who decide the social value system, freedom was strangled, creativity was suppressed, and therefore greatness of common people were buried in the history.蛮好的) Nevertheless, in a democratic society, where culture divergence is allowed and eccentric ideas are accepted, greatness of individuals is properly decided with no prejudice. History is replete with examples of greatness immediately recognized and confirmed. This is obvious in many areas, especially in art. Many masterpieces of literature, painting, architecture and so on are recognized the moment it produced, or later. Michelangelo's statuaries, Mozart's serenades, Tagore's poems and 海明威's novels were all welcomed immediately after their creation and were praised highly during their lifetime. Also what seems provocative and outrageous at fist may become accepted a century, a decade or even a year from it appeared. A case in point is the poetry anthology of" Leaves of Grass ", written by Walt Whitman in 1855, (which was sneered at by most contemporary famous poets when it first published,我觉得可以不写) while later soon become popular and regarded as the peak of romantic literature of United States. Their values, decided by contemporaries as well as people who live after them, will last forever.

In conclusion, the author's claim is true in some cases, especially when it comes to the greatness of geniuses or eccentrics. Otherwise it goes too extreme, for the fact that the greatness of a huge number of great achievers are appropriately decided and widely accepted by contemporaries, far from merely by people who live after them.
(我觉得回应得还不够具体,应该把不同意说得再具体些,加油~~~)

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RE: Issue36 二月机经 大家帮忙看一下,必回改 [修改]

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Issue36 二月机经 大家帮忙看一下,必回改
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-246053-1-1.html
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