issue 147 社会类，认真修改过了，望大家指教，谢谢：）

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

147."Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."

TS：
1，传统与现代是相互交织的，两者应该结合在一起。
2，现代应该吸取传统的精华，摒弃其糟粕。
3，不可否认，传统和现在还是有不相容的地方。
--------正文--------

Now in the era of the 21st century modernization has developed to new level, which makes our life comfortable and convenient. Someone may consider that tradition is out of date and not suitable for modernization, which I am extraordinarily against. I believe that tradition and modernization can be consonant and interact each other.

Tradition and modernization are interlaced, while we cannot choose between them, in my opinion, they should be combined together as a whole. Tradition refers to the beliefs, values, customs, ways of life, crafts that are handed down from generation to generation. Modernization has been progressing on the basis of tradition. Take the Olympic Games as an example. The Olympics, we call now, refer to the modern Olympics, which is different from the ancient ones. Actually the Olympics keep a lot of traces of the old ones such as porch race and marathon. Porch race used to be one event of the ancient Olympics in Greece, until now it has developed to a symbol of the modern Olympics, which represents the spirit of athletics and union of people from five continents. Marathon, named in memory of a great solider, challenges the utmost of human and manifests perseverance, tenacity and courage of mankind. We can hardly imagine without delivering porch and marathon how the modern Olympics Games will be. In other words, the ancient Olympics are parts of modern ones. Thus, we can conclude that with tradition and modernization being combined together modernization may keep the merits of tradition and continue to pass them down.

Tradition, inherited from our ancestors, cannot be changed any more, however, modernization is still developing, therefore, modernization may assimilate the distillates of the tradition and consummate them. For instance, Confucianism, ideology of Confucius who is the most influential and magnificent ideologist in Chinese history, is a theory of ethics adapted by various emperors of China. Confucianism strongly emphasizes on etiquette and comity, which may have a potential influence on modernization. In modern society, people do not always behave as our forebears did. The relationship between people is getting aloof and people are becoming inhospitable. In this case, we really need the distillates of our traditional culture--Confucianism. After all, we grow up in the circumstance of the culture of Confucianism so that the characters buried deep in our hearts may easily be aroused. By doing so, people may gradually become passionate and their relationship may get closer in the end. Nevertheless, there do exist some dregs in tradition that we should abandon. So is Confucianism. The emperors regarded Confucianism not only because it is the theory of ethics, but also in that it encourages people to endure what they are experiencing no matter how anguished they feel. It was somewhat comprehensible in Feudal Society. But now things are much different in which the society is becoming more democratic and people have the rights to express their discontentment. In a word, modernization may inherit the merits of tradition and discard the dregs.

Admittedly, tradition and modernization are not compatible in some ways, especially in the realm of arts. When a new or modern genre, which may usually contradict the old one, emerges, the traditional genre will hardly accept it, instead, oppose it. A good example is Vincent Van Gogh who is an outstanding delegate of Expressionism. But his fabulous paintings were not recognized by the public and critics at that time. He had little success in his whole life, during which he sold only one painting--The Red Vineyard. Van Gogh's new ideas of the usage of sunlight were not accepted by traditional views but later were appreciated by the whole world. His painting--Sunflower was auctioned the highest price ever since. From Vincent Van Gogh' example, we know that tradition is limited to the particular time and space, in some cases, it is ambivalent and discordant to modernization.

In sum, tradition and modernization are compatible, people cannot readily choose anyone of them, instead, people should select both of them. According to different situation, people are supposed to come in for the merits of tradition and apply them in modernization then combine them together.

这是我写的第4篇issue，但是用的时间很长，差不多3个小时，但现在速度还是没有提高，请问大家有这方面的问题吗？
希望得到大家的建议和指教，谢谢~~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

Waiting for amendment~~~Thank you very much~~~~：）

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

大家给点意见吧，谢谢~~~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

28号就要考了，现在每天上新东方，时间很紧张，真的希望大家给点意见，谢谢~~

deannaaUID: 145017

先占个坐,改好了发上来

algorithmUID: 193410

写得不错啊，无奈这两天在老家，只能在网吧上网。马上就回北京了。
文章的结构不错！！
继续努力！

chenh1207UID: 182826

写得真好,但我也一点自己的建议:
1.好像作者集中在写TOPIC的第一句话,而对第二句话中MUST的解释力度不够;
2.作者的EXAMPLE集中于SPEICAL KNOWLEDGE,我觉得应该加上一点REAL EXPERIENCE;
3.BODY部分的逻辑结构是不是可以应该是这样:两者可以相容---两者又有不同---在某种程度上可以互为利用.

jorgeUID: 108878

首先句子之间的衔接缺少些特定的连接词.

第一段里,说tradition and moderization 应该相互交织.但楼主并没阐述为什么应该相互交织.
第二段似乎缺少个更抽象的TS .列举的例子说的是现代化产生了恰恰传统却具有的characteristic.这个例子不好,因为反而印证了 One must choose between them .由驳楼主的论点.
第三段, 例子举的不错. 但建议不要说especially in the realm of arts. 换成 However, tradition and moderization would pose some extent of incompatibility in many areas. 会好点.

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

等了这么终于有了回复，非常感谢大家的意见，我已经把大家的意见纪录，修改后再发上来。真得非常感谢大家，好感动~~~呵呵，因为已经失望好多天了。今天是除夕，祝大家新年快乐，鸡年吉祥，2005年G路一帆风顺~~~

kiciUID: 169506

Now去掉，重复 in the era of 这个用得不错，ets的一篇范文开头就这个词组the 21st century modernization 加上that,却主语 has developed to new level, which makes our life comfortable and convenient. Someone may consider that tradition is out of date and not suitable for modernization, which I am extraordinarily against.把观点后置不太好，用I am extraordinarily against that …似乎更地道 I believe that tradition and modernization can be consonant and interact这个是动词阿 interactive each other.

Tradition and modernization are interlaced, while we cannot choose between them, differentiate in my opinion, they should be combined together as a whole. Tradition refers to the beliefs, values, customs, ways of life, crafts that are handed downhand down我查了韦氏有夫传子的意思 from generation to generation. Modernization has been progressing on the basis of tradition. Take the Olympic Games as an example. The Olympics, we call now, refer to the modern Olympics, which is different from the ancient ones. Actually the Olympics keep a lot of traces of the old ones such as porch race and marathon. Porch race used to be one event of the ancient Olympics in Greece, until now it has developed to a symbol of the modern Olympics, which represents the spirit of athletics and union of people from five continents. Marathon, named in memory of a great solider,  challenges the utmost of human and manifests perseverance, tenacity and courage of mankind. We can hardly imagine without delivering porch and marathon how the modern Olympics Games will be. In other words, the ancient Olympics are parts of modern ones. Thus, we can conclude that with tradition and modernization being combined together modernization may keep the merits of tradition and continue to pass them down.奥林匹克的例子不错

Tradition, inherited from our ancestors, cannot be changed any more, however, modernization is still developing, therefore, modernization may assimilate the distillates of the tradition and consummate themit还是them. For instance, Confucianism, ideology of Confucius who is the most influential and magnificent ideologist in Chinese historyconfucious的解释句可以以一个破则号分开，这个样结构好些, is a theory of ethics adapted by various emperors of China. Confucianism strongly emphasizes on etiquette and comity, which may have a potential influence on modernization.which may influence/effect potentially on modernization In modern society, people do not always behave as our forebears did. The relationship between people is getting aloof and people are becoming inhospitable.不必重复people吧，去掉between people,或者整句修改一下 In this case, we really need the distillates of our traditional culture--Confucianism. After all, we grow up in the circumstance of the culture of Confucianism so that the characters buried deep in our hearts may easily be aroused. By doing so, people may gradually become passionate and their relationship may get closer in the end. Nevertheless, there do exist some dregs in tradition that we should abandon. So is Confucianism. The emperors regarded Confucianism not only because it is the theory of ethicsbecause of the theory of ethics, but also in that it encouragesencouraging 因为觉得前面的那个it is 不好，这个样改改好 people to endure what they are experiencing 表达不准确restrain themselvesno matter how anguished they feel. It was somewhat comprehensible in Feudal Society. But now things are much different in which the society is becoming more democratic and people have the rights to express their discontentment. In a word, modernization may inherit the merits of tradition and discard the dregs.

Admittedly, tradition and modernization are not compatible in some ways, especially in the realm of arts. When a new or modern genre, which may usually contradict the old one, emerges, the traditional genre will hardly accept it, instead, oppose it. A good example is Vincent Van Gogh who is an outstanding delegate of Expressionism. But his fabulous paintings were not recognized by the public and critics at that time. He had little success in his whole life, during which for觉得因果关系更适合 he sold only one painting--The Red Vineyard. Van Gogh's new ideas of the usage of sunlight were not accepted by traditional views but later were appreciated by the whole world. His painting--Sunflower was auctioned the highest price ever since. From Vincent Van Gogh' example, we know that tradition is limited to the particular time and space, in some cases, it is ambivalent and discordant to modernization.

In sum, tradition and modernization are compatible, people cannot readily choose anyone of themdifferentiate any of them, instead, people should select both of themof them有些重复. According to different situation, people are supposed to come in for the merits of tradition and改逗号apply them in modernization 加上and then combine them together.
有了admittedly那段，结尾应该反映一下吧。结尾和那段脱节了
3个例子还是很好的，看得出来还是精心准备和挑选的。开始写得慢没关系，要看到你的字写得足够多了，能写长也是很不错的。而且用的词还是经常的变化，这个做得很不错。加油加油~~我是3月底的作文，以上一点陋见，大家来讨论下吧

virathenaUID: 191035

梵高是印象派吧，好像是impressionism
另外，我觉得他的画能拍卖多少钱并不能说明什么，可以去掉
还有，那个奥林匹克的例子是不错，但是我认为它的对立面并不是modernization,本身就是二是两者的交织，是在现代科技和手段下古老的活动项目的延续

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

非常感谢kici的修改：），鸡年快乐哦~~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

to:virathena，是因为古代与现代奥运会是相互交织的，我才举了这个例子，并不是因为是对立的，请问有何不妥吗？

kiciUID: 169506

今天家里来人，现在才来发上来。你可以再看看
奥林匹克那个例子是可以的，作为交织应该是可以的
加油加油

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

谢谢kici，非常感谢你的修改，我已经把你的修改全部记下了然后慢慢研究，呵呵，你也加油~~~