issue 130 ，希望能得到大虾批点

augustUID: 189758

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

I disagree with the author's dual claim. The first claim that the society is determind by how children are socialized, although seems plausible at first sight, is not comprehensive. The second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society is poorly supported by  empirical examples.

Consider the first claim that the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized, I concede first that without healthy interaction and communication with others, an individual can not develop in a healthy and happy way  in the childhood. When you visit elementary school in the U.S, you can see there are a lot of classroom discussions, group works, group debates appear in their school curriculum. More over, their extracurriculum is colorful, including sports games,  and school clubs. All these help a child learn the skill to compete as well as to corporate with others, and this skill is very important to them.

However, there are other factors, which is more crucial than socialization, that determine what the society will be. The parental influence, for example, is one of those factors. We all know Martin Luther King, who contribute a lot to American society in combating racial discrimination. But his contribution is largely due to his strong religious upbringing, and his parents' influence, not the socialization in his childhood. For another instance, Washington's contributions during the  Revolution sprang primarily from his inner conviction, not how he socialized in childhood. Since these two people are both great man who has change the society of America, we may safely assume that other factors, rather than socialization, also help to influence the destiny of society.

As for the second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. I should first ask what the "better society" means. The speaker does not give us the exact definition of the term "better society". If a "better society " is defined as a more stable, more tolerant, and more peaceful society, I think our society has become "become better" over the last century. After the World War II, the world has never seen wars as large scale as World War I or World War II. Although nowadays conflicts and some wars still occurs frequently in some area such as mid-east and North Africa, the main stream of our time is peace and development. Therefore, death rate of children has reduced, people's living standard has been enhanced, and technology has developed. In American society, slavery has been eliminated, women have right to work, the society has more tolerance with various ethnic and racial groups. Alough there are also severe problems to be solved.; Although social violence still existed, although pollution are still threatening our health, I positively think that our society has become better.

In conclusion, when it comes to the destiny of society, the key determinant is not only socialization in childhood, but other factors, including parental influence and genetic reasons. More over, in my observation the society has become much better in terms of the changes occurred over the past century.  Therefore, when it come to the author's second claim, I disagree that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

poohUID: 146994

issue 130 ，希望能得到大虾批点
130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

I disagree with the author's dual claim. The first claim that the society is determind by how children are socialized, although seems plausible at first sight, is not comprehensive. The second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society is poorly supported by empirical examples.

Consider the first claim that the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized, I concede first that without healthy interaction and communication with others, an individual can not develop in a healthy and happy way in the childhood. When you visit elementary school in the U.S, you can see there are a lot of classroom discussions, group works, group debates appear in their school curriculum.这个例子是在反驳第二个claim,而不是第一个吧 More over, their extracurriculum is colorful, including sports games, and school clubs. All these help a child learn the skill to compete as well as to corporate with others, and this skill is very important to them.topic sentense跟下面论证的不一致

However, there are other factors, which is more crucial than socialization, that determine what the society will be. The parental influence, for example, is one of those factors. We all know Martin Luther King, who contribute a lot to American society in combating racial discrimination. But his contribution is largely due to his strong religious upbringing, and his parents' influence, not the socialization in his childhood. For another instance, Washington's contributions during the Revolution sprang primarily from his inner conviction, not how he socialized in childhood. Since these two people are both great man who has change the society of America, we may safely assume that other factors, rather than socialization, also help to influence the destiny of society. socilization包括所有的交流，包括父母与孩子间的第二个例子比较恰当

As for the second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. I should first ask what the "better society" means. The speaker does not give us the exact definition of the term "better society". If a "better society " is defined as a more stable, more tolerant, and more peaceful society, I think our society has become "become better" over the last century. After the World War II, the world has never seen wars as large scale as World War I or World War II. Although nowadays conflicts and some wars still occurs frequently in some area such as mid-east and North Africa, the main stream of our time is peace and development. Therefore, death rate of children has reduced, people's living standard has been enhanced, and technology has developed. In American society, slavery has been eliminated, women have right to work, the society has more tolerance with various ethnic and racial groups. Alough there are also severe problems to be solved.; Although social violence still existed, although pollution are still threatening our health, I positively think that our society has become better. 我认为最好将重点放在人们之间的相互交流与合作加强了，从而使社会进步了，毕竟这个题目中socilzation是个关键词，这段写的不错。

In conclusion, when it comes to the destiny of society, the key determinant is not only socialization in childhood, but other factors, including parental influence and genetic reasons. More over, in my observation the society has become much better in terms of the changes occurred over the past century. Therefore, when it come to the author's second claim, I disagree that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

比较流畅，但是body1有些逻辑上的问题。

圣光UID: 193720

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

I disagree with the author's dual claim. The first claim that the society is determind by how children are socialized, although seems plausible at first sight, is not comprehensive. The second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society is poorly supported by empirical examples.

Consider the first claim that the destiny of society hinges on how children are socialized, I concede first that without healthy interaction and communication with others, an individual can not develop in a healthy and happy way in the childhood. When you visit elementary school in the U.S, you can see there are a lot of classroom discussions, group works, group debates appear in their school curriculum. More over, their extracurriculum is colorful, including sports games, and school clubs. All these help a child learn the skill to compete as well as to corporate with others, and this skill is very important to them.你的这一段好象是在说孩子们socialization的重要性吧，最后加的这个课外活动丰富的例子好象与本段主题无关的说

However, there are other factors, which is more crucial than socialization, that determine what the society will be. The parental influence, for example, is one of those factors. We all know Martin Luther King, who contribute （contributed）a lot to American society in combating racial discrimination. But his contribution is largely due to his strong religious upbringing, and his parents' influence, not the socialization in his childhood. For another instance, Washington's contributions during the Revolution sprang primarily from his inner conviction, not how he socialized in childhood. Since these two people are both great man who has change (changed)the society of America, we may safely assume that other factors, rather than socialization, also help to influence the destiny of society.

As for the second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. I should first ask what the "better society" means. The speaker does not give us the exact definition of the term "better society". If a "better society " is defined as a more stable, more tolerant, and more peaceful society, I think our society has become "become better" over the last century. After the World War II, the world has never seen wars as large scale as World War I or World War II. Although nowadays conflicts and some wars still occurs frequently in some area such as mid-east and North Africa, the main stream of our time is peace and development. Therefore, death rate of children has reduced, people's living standard has been enhanced, and technology has developed. In American society, slavery has been eliminated, women have right to work, the society has more tolerance with various ethnic and racial groups. Alough there are also severe problems to be solved.; Although social violence still existed, although pollution are still threatening our health, I positively think that our society has become better.（个人意见这段怎么看着象跑题了？即使后面的一个论断是在说怎么样创造一个better world,你也不能就不管它前面的限制词汇了啊，应该讨论关于教育不得法使得children不能肩负起建设better world 的重任吧？不管是肯定还是否定这样的论断，都应该和对孩子的教育有关，总觉得和主题的关系不大啊，呵呵，个人意见纯属参考。）

In conclusion, when it comes to the destiny of society, the key determinant is not only socialization in childhood, but other factors, including parental influence and genetic reasons. More over, in my observation the society has become much better in terms of the changes occurred over the past century. Therefore, when it come (comes)to the author's second claim, I disagree that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

augustUID: 189758

先谢谢两位

第二段主要是做一个让步，承认socialization的重要性，第三段再转折。
课外活动可改为团队游戏，俱乐部等需要一起参与的活动


承认对第二个论断的反驳跑题了，但还没找到好的赞成或否定的思路，欢迎大家提供意见。