Issue55自我感觉有点烂，希望听到不同意见～

花之颜色UID: 187195

------题目------
Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education.
过度重视分数竞争有害，但是学习质量更取决于学生的学习态度
1最有效率的学生为了个人的兴趣有目标的学习，分数竞争对他们的学习效果无影响
2对学习没兴趣的学生，适度的竞争可以刺激学习积极性，从而提高学习质量
3既不想好好学习又想的高分的，搞不正当竞争，有害
4让步，过度的重视分数有害
------正文------
Is competition for high grades a tonic or an obstacle to the quality of learning? Such problem is always haunting many educators. I concede that excessive emphasis on grades sometimes will play down the results of learning. However, the quality of learning mainly depends on the students' attitudes toward learning rather than pursuing high grades.

To begin with, the most efficient students are the ones aware of their interests and future destinations. They always learn for the purpose of enriching their knowledge in certain fields rather than gaining high marks, so no matter what grades they achieve, they will study hard as usual. Being clear of what are they really concerned with, these wise students won’t waste their time on the meaningless competition for good marks but only take test as a referential method of self-examination, through the result of which they can make out their following study plans. Many famous scientists like Newton and Einstein did not have a perfect academic performance though, they all had a common characteristic: learning for themselves. That is, for these sage people, the quality of learning is not decided by grades.

When it comes to those without an interest in study, moderate competition for glorious performance in academic field will serve as an effective stimulus to arouse their ambitions in study. After all, students with beautiful marks not only can achieve high scholarship, but also feel satisfied and confident by means of the teachers' appreciation, the classmates' admiration and the parents' praise. In this way, competition for high marks drives the students to listen to the teachers carefully and take down a detailed note on class, participate in the discussion actively and finish their homework independently, all of which contributes to their academic progress.

But there remain a proportion of students other than the above two, to whom competition for high grades are detrimental. These students, unlike the first kind of students, do not like to study at all and they won't work hard as the second type to receive high grades either. They prefer more effortless methods including staying up all night before the examination and cram for it, cheating in the test, and flattering the teachers, etc. Such ungraceful behaviors are not only harmful to their learning effect but also to the students' moral development. What's even worse, if they are successful all the while, the other two kinds of students may feel so disappointed and unfair they will follow the bad example, which consequently leads to further degradation of the quality of learning.

Admittedly, giving excessive emphasis to the grades will do harm to the students' learning. Not all students who have studied hard can gain good marks in an exam, which is related to the design of examination and the students' abilities. Then paying more attention to their grades will place great pressure on them and make some students feel disappointed even hopeless to go on study. Some of them may quit from school or even worse, suicide. See the tragedy in China as an example, a pupil incompetent in severe competition for high marks at school, who was always criticized by his teacher and parents, finally jumped down from the building after performing poorly in an exam again. Even the ones who persist in school are under so great pressure that they often suffer from insomnia at night and difficult to concentrate on class. Consequently, the quality of learning is badly weakened.

To sum up, as coins have two sides, so do the competition for high grades. And the more effective way may be to find a balance between the benefits and the harms. In addition, what the school should adhere more attention to is how to induce the students to learn for themselves rather than for a good mark.

指向大海UID: 158737

Is competition for high grades a tonic or an obstacle to the quality of learning? Such problem is always haunting many educators. I concede that excessive emphasis on grades sometimes will play down the results of learning. However, the quality of learning mainly depends on the students' attitudes toward learning rather than pursuing high grades.

To begin with, the most efficient students are the ones aware of their interests and future destinations. They always learn for the purpose of enriching their knowledge in certain fields rather than gaining high marks, [是不是可以说一说enriching their knowledge和gaining high marks的关系,高分不一定高能但两者之间还是有一段必然联系的]so no matter what grades they achieve, they will study hard as usual. Being clear of what are they really concerned with, these wise students won’t waste their time on the meaningless competition for good marks but only take test as a referential method of self-examination, through the result of which they can make out their following study plans. Many famous scientists like Newton and Einstein did not have a perfect academic performance though, they all had a common characteristic: learning for themselves. That is, for these sage[这个词老外用起来好像很神圣的样子呢,这里是不是用形容一般伟大的词就行了] people, the quality of learning is not decided by grades.

When it comes to those without an interest in study, moderate competition for glorious performance in academic field will serve as an effective stimulus to arouse their ambitions in study. After all, students with beautiful marks not only can achieve high scholarship, but also feel satisfied and confident by means of the teachers' appreciation, the classmates' admiration and the parents' praise.[这几个名次词组用的好] In this way, competition for high marks drives the students to listen to the teachers carefully and take down a detailed note[notes] on class, participate in the discussion actively and finish their homework independently, all of which contributes to their academic progress.

But there remain a proportion of students other than the above two, to whom competition for high grades are detrimental. These students, unlike the first kind of students, do not like to study at all and they won't work hard as the second type to receive high grades either. They prefer more effortless methods including staying up all night before the examination and cram [cramming] for it, cheating in the test, and flattering the teachers, etc. Such ungraceful behaviors are not only harmful to their learning effect but also to the students' moral development. What's even worse, if they are successful all the while, the other two kinds of students may feel so disappointed and unfair [that] they will follow the bad example, which consequently leads to further degradation of the quality of learning.

Admittedly, giving excessive emphasis to the grades will do harm to the students' learning. Not all students who have studied hard can gain good marks in an exam, which is related to the design of examination and the students' abilities. Then paying more attention to their grades will place great pressure on them and make some students feel disappointed even hopeless to go on study. Some of them may quit from school or even worse, suicide. See the tragedy in China as an example, a pupil incompetent in severe competition for high marks at school, who was always criticized by his teacher and parents, finally jumped down from the building after performing poorly in an exam again. Even the ones who persist in school are under so great pressure that they often suffer from insomnia at night and difficult to concentrate on class. Consequently, the quality of learning is badly weakened.

To sum up, as coins have two sides, so do the competition for high grades. And the more effective way may be to find a balance between the benefits and the harms. In addition, what the school should adhere more attention to is how to induce the students to learn for themselves rather than for a good mark.


[如果你这有点烂那寄托的烂文多了去了.
追求高分严重限制了教育各个阶段的学习质量,这是我在网上看到的提纲,你的文章好像实说各种类型的学生的学习质量不太对应该是教育从小学到大学的阶段,而且你这种分类是中国的情况比如考试作弊讨好老师好学生就觉得不平衡了等等(呵呵我现在就心理不平衡偶的可怜的GPA啊)老美能理解么?给你看一个高手的提纲
Competing for grades serves as an effective stimulant to urge and conduce to arouse students’ ambition in the process of study. Since under current education system, tests and examination are still mainly method to check the outcome of study, and score is the most important criteria to evaluate the performance of students. Usually, high score means better academic performance. Who rank at the top will obtain acknowledge of their intellect and competence both from teachers and peers, this point also be illustrated by the fact that scholarship will be given to those who have high grades in most of their courses. In such education system, students may be motivated to study hard and assiduously in order to achieving acknowledge of others and the hortation of better performance, and in turn, they have a better master of what they have learnt. In this respect, competition for high grades does promote students learning better.
While, such competition increasingly expose its negative effects on the quality of learning.
What is more, heating competition for high grades may arouse extremely mental and psychological stress for students, which will seriously undermine the interest and ability of studying.]

花之颜色UID: 187195

多谢先

ZigUID: 193744

Is competition for high grades a tonic or an obstacle to the quality of learning? Such problem is always haunting is always haunting感觉念起来不舒服 many educators. I concede that excessive emphasis on grades sometimes will play down the results of learning. However, the quality of learning mainly depends on the students' attitudes toward learning rather than pursuing high grades.
我刚开始写，不太明白对于issue来说可以选择怎么样的题目。不过我觉得issue的题目中是说competition SERIOUSLY limits the quality，选择的题目中应该选择SERIOUSLY或者NOT-SERIOUSLY的TS，因为这样比较直观，而mainly depends不一定说明high grades的影响小，可能partially depends on high grades but seriously influence learning quality。也可能这里这句话不是TS，但是从过渡的方式来看的确应该是表述TS的地方了。这样结尾没有呼应不是很好。一家之言，我也不太确定，欢迎拍砖。
To begin with, the most efficient students are the ones aware of their interests and future destinations. They always learn for the purpose of enriching their knowledge in certain fields rather than gaining high marks, so no matter what grades they achieve, they will study hard as usual. Being clear of what are they really concerned with, these wise students won’t waste their time on the meaningless competition for good marks but only take test as a referential method of self-examination, through the result of which they can make out their following study plans. Many famous scientists like Newton and Einstein did not have a perfect academic performance though 这个是想表示强调？, they all had a common characteristic: learning for themselves. That is, for these sage people, the quality of learning is not decided by grades.
感觉不是很有力，应该深入一点。例如they all had a common characteristic: learning for themselves.这句话本来应该是一个判断句而不是一个fact，但是这里直接当作fact来用了。
同时，偷换了一次概念，sage people并不表明他们的quality of learning就好，不过也可能是我argument做多了。
When it comes to those without an interest in study, moderate competition for glorious performance in academic field will serve as an effective stimulus to arouse their ambitions in study. After all, students with beautiful marks not only can achieve high scholarship, but also feel satisfied and confident by means of the teachers' appreciation, the classmates' admiration and the parents' praise. In this way, competition for high marks drives the students to listen to the teachers carefully and take down a detailed note on class and前后结构不是很一致，还有后面的participate连起来不是很好听，可以考虑拆开了, participate in the discussion actively and finish their homework independently, all of which contributes to their academic progress.
But there remain a proportion of students other than the above two, to whom competition for high grades are detrimental. These students, unlike the first kind of students, do not like to study at all and they won't work hard as the second type to receive high grades either. 上一句话我感觉很晦涩，不过不知道原因。。 They prefer more effortless methods including staying up all night before the examination and cram for it, cheating in the test, and flattering the teachers, etc. Such ungraceful behaviors are not only harmful to their learning effect but also to the students' moral development. What's even worse, if they are 虚拟语气？ successful all the while, the other 三者加起来不等于全部吧？ two kinds of students may feel so disappointed and unfair that they will follow the bad example, which consequently leads to further degradation of the quality of learning.
上面三段我感觉每一段应该有自己的分论点，我是说写得比较明显的
Admittedly, giving excessive emphasis to the grades will do harm to the students' learning. 这个怎么突然就admittedly了？！ Not all students who have studied hard can gain good marks in an exam, which is related to both the design of examination and the students' abilities. Then paying more attention to their grades will place great pressure on them and make some students feel disappointed even hopeless to go on study. Some of them may quit from school or even worse, suicide. See the tragedy in China as an example, a pupil incompetent in severe competition for high marks at school, who was always criticized by his teacher and parents, finally jumped down from the building after performing poorly in an exam again. 这句话不如这么说：An tragic example can be given as following: a pupil, who was incompetent in severe competition for high marks at school and always criticized by his teacher and parents, finally jumped down from the building after having performed poorly in an exam. Even the ones who persist in school are under so great pressure that they often suffer from insomnia at night and difficult to concentrate on class. Consequently, the quality of learning is badly weakened.
感觉这一段实际上并没有总结前文，而是另开了一个方面进行论述，效果不是很好
To sum up, as coins have a coin has two sides, so do the competition for high grades. And the more effective way may be to find a balance between the benefits and the harms. 这句话不通 In addition, what the school should adhere more attention to is how to induce the students to learn for themselves rather than for a good mark. 这句话不是论点，how to induce the students to learn for themselves实际上是一个新的概念，结题应该是跑了

asparagusUID: 194569

Is competition for high grades a/tonic 可数吗？/ tonic or an obstacle to the quality of learning? Such problem is always haunting many educators./用完成时比较好吧/ I concede that excessive emphasis on grades sometimes will play down the results of learning. However, the quality of learning mainly depends on the students' attitudes toward learning rather than pursuing high grades. /TS/

To begin with, the most efficient students are the ones /+who are/aware of their interests and future destinations. They always learn for the purpose of enriching their knowledge in certain fields rather than gaining high marks, so no matter what grades they achieve, they will study /+as/hard as usual/as hard as usual 和 enriching 没有直接逻辑关系吧/. Being clear of what are they really concerned with, these wise/前文没有提到wise/ students won’t waste their time on the meaningless competition for good marks but only take test as a referential method of self-examination, through the result of which they can make out their following study plans./这个定语从句不是很通顺/ Many famous scientists like Newton and Einstein did not have a perfect academic performance though, they all had a common characteristic: learning for themselves. That is, for these sage people, the quality of learning is not decided by grades.

When it comes to those without an interest in study, moderate competition for glorious performance in academic field will serve as an effective stimulus to arouse their ambitions in study/ambitions->interests/. After all, students with beautiful marks not only can achieve high scholarship, but also feel satisfied and confident by means of the teachers' appreciation, the classmates' admiration and the parents' praise. In this way, competition for high marks drives the students to listen to the teachers carefully and take down a detailed note on class, participate in the discussion actively and finish their homework independently, all of which contributes to their academic progress.

But/but 不能用在句首/ there remain a proportion of students other than the above two, to whom competition for high grades are detrimental. These students, unlike the first kind of students, do not like to study at all and they won't work hard as the second type to receive high grades either. They prefer more effortless methods including staying up all night before the examination and/and->to/ cram for it我很严肃地很负责任地说这不是effortless, 也不ungraceful, cheating in the test, and flattering the teachers, etc. Such ungraceful behaviors are not only harmful to their learning effect but also to the students' moral development. What's/删What's/ even worse, if they are successful all the while, the other two/other two?前边只有one/ kinds of students may feel so disappointed and unfair /+that/they will follow the bad example/前边的那种类型不是视分数如粪土吗，怎么会随他们呢/, which consequently leads to further degradation of the quality of learning/whose?/.

Admittedly,/又让步了，让给谁呢/ giving excessive emphasis to the grades will do harm to the students' learning. Not all students who have studied hard can gain good marks in an exam, which is related to the design of examination and the students' abilities. Then paying more attention to their grades will place great pressure on them and make some students feel disappointed even hopeless to go on study. Some of them may quit from school or even worse, suicide. See the tragedy in China as an example, a pupil incompetent in severe competition for high marks at school, who was always criticized by his teacher and parents, finally jumped down from the building /suicide/after performing poorly in an exam again/死了两次？没有说明白/. Even the ones who persist in school are under so great pressure that they often suffer from insomnia at night and difficult to concentrate on class. Consequently, the quality of learning is badly weakened.

To sum up, as/删as/ coins have two sides, so do the competition for high grades. And/删and/ the/the->a/ more effective way may be to find a balance between the benefits and the harms. In addition, what the school/the school->schools/ should adhere more attention to is how to induce the students to learn for themselves rather than for a good mark.

我觉得主要问题在于结构不清晰，谋篇应该完全按照TS进行。
你的ts的意思是过度重视分数竞争有害，但是学习质量更取决于学生的学习态度
ts存在问题
首先，这不是一个转折关系.
其次，因为题目讨论的范畴是竞争有没有影响到学习质量,讨论因该着重回答是或者不是.
因此ts应该是学习质量更取决于学生的学习态度而不是分数竞争,所以竞争和学习质量没有必然联系
结构可以参照孙远的拒绝站在任何一边的套路

以上只是个人观点
ps: 欢迎你也来拍我文章的砖,狠狠地打哦
改到两点半,困死了,睡觉睡觉

花之颜色UID: 187195

发现最后一段大家意见似乎比较多,偶写的时候也这么觉得,好象跟前面自相矛盾~都是为了凑字数,想把它们有效的连接起来,但是好象不成功,汗~决定把最后一段删掉,重点把前面的论点论述清楚.is always haunting这句应该没什么问题,经常看见文章里有人用,偶是模仿人家用的.多谢大家的砖瓦,被砸的头破血流,呵呵~偶一定找机会回拍

花之颜色UID: 187195

Is competition for high grades a tonic or an obstacle to the quality of learning? Such problem is always haunting many educators. To answer this question, we should first know what is the real measure of learning quality. Is the excellent academic performance enough to illustrate one’s learning effect? In fact, the real quality of study should be measured through the students’ acquirement of knowledge and intellectual development. Therefore, the learning quality mainly depends on the students' attitudes toward learning rather than pursuing high grades. Competition for high grades may not necessarily limits the quality of learning, so to speak.

To begin with, the most efficient students are the ones aware of their interests and future destinations. They always learn for the purpose of enriching their knowledge in certain fields rather than gaining high marks, so no matter what grades they achieve, they will study hard as usual. Being clear of what are they really concerned with, these wise students won’t waste their time on the meaningless competition for good marks but only take test as a referential method of self-examination, through the result of which they can make out their following study plans. Many famous scientists like Newton and Einstein did not have a perfect academic performance though, they all had a common characteristic: learning for themselves, which leads to their final success in academic field. That is, for these sage people, the quality of learning is not decided by grades. They won’t involve in the competition and the others’ competition for high grades won’t have any influence on their study either.

When it comes to those without an interest in study, moderate competition for glorious performance in academic field will serve as an effective stimulus to arouse their ambitions in study. After all, students with beautiful marks not only can achieve high scholarship, but also feel satisfied and confident by means of the teachers' appreciation, the classmates' admiration and the parents' praise. In this way, competition for high marks drives the students to listen to the teachers carefully and take down a detailed note on class, participate in the discussion actively and finish their homework independently, all of which contribute to their academic progress. In this way, competition for high grades does not limit their study results but promote their interest in study, ultimately the quality of learning.

Nonetheless, there remain a proportion of students other than the above two, to whom competition for high grades are detrimental. These students, unlike the first kind of students, do not like to study at all and they won't work hard as the second type to receive high grades either. They prefer more effortless methods including staying up all night before the examination and cram for it, cheating in the test, and flattering the teachers, etc. Such ungraceful behaviors are not only harmful to their learning effect but also to the students' moral development. What's even worse, if they were successful all the while, the second kind of students might feel so disappointed and unfair that they would follow the bad example, which consequently would lead to further degradation of the quality of learning.

To sum up, as coins have two sides, so do the competition for high grades. And a more effective way may be to find a balance between the benefits and the harms. In addition, what the schools should adhere more attention to is how to induce the students to learn for themselves rather than for a good mark.

fengboallanUID: 157405

颜色妹妹果然活跃阿。呵呵，新作不断，我今天作业都没写，但一定给你看，
努努力搞定你这一篇,这个你修改以前的拍砖

Is competition for high grades a tonic or an obstacle to the quality of learning? Such problem is always haunting many educators. I concede that excessive emphasis on grades sometimes will play down the results of learning. However,（这个however有点突然，继续前面的说，降低了学生的学习效果。然后，however应该改成thus，我们追求最大的目标就学生学习的效果，所以，一切的手段都是应该是为了学生获得真正的知识） the quality of learning mainly depends on the students' attitudes toward learning rather than pursuing high grades.
第一段的最后一句挪下来，改改，然后，独立一段进行改过渡。
过渡到二段诉说的内容上。

To begin with, the most efficient students are the ones aware of （balance of于ware搭配）their interests and future destinations. They always learn for the purpose of enriching their knowledge in certain fields（realms） rather than gaining high marks, so no matter what grades they achieve（gain更好）, they will study hard as usual. Being clear of what are they really concerned with（哈哈，这句有点不地道啊，有点chinglish，调整一下成分的位置）, these wise students won’t waste their time on the meaningless competition for good marks but only take test as a referential method of self-examination说得好，到点子上了, through the result of which they can make out their following study plans（应该说结果是学习效果的一种标志。还影像不到他们的plan）. Many famous scientists like Newton and Einstein did not have a perfect academic performance （，）though, they all had a common characteristic: learning for themselves（不是learning for themselves而是learning and researching for their lifes’ aim）. That is, for these sage people, the quality of learning is not decided by grades.

When it comes to those without an interest in study, moderate competition for glorious performance in academic field will serve as an effective stimulus to arouse their ambitions in study.这句话说得不错 After all, students with beautiful marks not only can achieve high scholarship, but also feel satisfied and confident by means of the teachers' appreciation, the classmates' admiration and the parents' praise. In this way, competition for high marks drives the students to listen to the teachers carefully and take down a detailed note on class, participate in the discussion actively and finish their homework independently, all of which contributes to their academic progress.这段说得问题有点不太明白，并不是说得不清楚，而是没有说完。在结尾处应该总结一下。正因为和high mark有这么大的所用，所以，应当怎么看待学分的问题……要不就变成单纯的说明了！

But there remain a proportion of students other than the above two, to whom competition for high grades are detrimental. These students, unlike the first kind of students, do not like to study at all and they won't work hard as the second type to receive high grades either. They prefer more effortless methods including staying up all night before the examination and cram for it, cheating in the test, and flattering the teachers, etc. Such ungraceful behaviors are not only harmful to their learning effect but also to the students' moral development. What's even worse, if they are successful all the while, the other two kinds of students may feel so disappointed and unfair they will follow the bad example, which consequently leads to further degradation of the quality of learning. 个人感觉这段的议论和你的主旨有点出路。如果你想说明有学生只是为了应试，那么，不能从这方面说。因为教授出的考试也不是白吃题目。随随便便就可以靠什么cheat就可以通过的。你可以这么说：有些人不关注自己的学习效果和素质教育（quality education）,they only like to get high mark. 学习之学习能够得到高分的知识，而忽视了真正的研究和理解的过程。这样就让人信服多了。Issue不是argument，读者是假使有正常逻辑的阅读者。不能单纯的一点击面。

Admittedly, giving excessive emphasis to the grades will do harm to the students' learning. Not all students who have studied hard can gain good marks in an exam, which is related to the design of examination and the students' abilities. Then paying more attention to their grades will place great pressure on them and make some students feel disappointed even hopeless to go on study. Some of them may quit from school or even worse, suicide. See the tragedy in China as an example,足中国例子之前交代一下背景：众所周知，中国的基础教育多数只重视分数。…… 然后再举例，要不例证的说服力回减少a pupil incompetent in severe competition for high marks at school, who was always criticized by his teacher and parents, finally jumped down from the building after performing poorly in an exam again. Even the ones who persist in school are under so great pressure that they often suffer from insomnia at night and difficult to concentrate on class. Consequently, the quality of learning is badly weakened.后面加一段，继续这个例子说。学生的学习不是只为了分数，所以，学校和家长应该正确的引导孩子。考试的设计应该真实的能反映出学生的水平，给学生减少负担，在轻松兴趣的情况下获得知识。这样一来，深入了原题的问题。不单单看待的是分数VS实际学生的学习，而是整个社会教育质量系统的问题。

To sum up, as coins have two sides,呵呵，找另外一个谚语替换。硬币这个就像中国老师看作文：全是，不相当将军的士兵不是一个好士兵。呵呵，看多了，老外也晕。 so do the competition for high grades. And the more effective way may be to find a balance between the benefits and the harms. In addition, what the school should adhere more attention to is how to induce the students to learn for themselves rather than for a good mark.结尾深化一下：素质教育和应试教育（应是教育的正确翻译没查到，你看这写吧，意思差不多就行：study for exam。已经不单纯是学生的问题，我们应当引起全社会的重视，考试的设计怎么怎么样，学校家长应该什么角色。学生应该……
这样一来，ETS一看，呵呵，小孩，说话蛮有深度的阿




我的写作方式，和思想不一定都对。仅供参考
如有错误
也告诉我一下
让我迷途知返
谢